The Club changed out of our setup clothes and into our outfits for the evening. We were all wearing the matching T-shirts we’d given each other on Christmas: white T-shirts with pink three-quarter-length sleeves with THE LONELY HEARTS CLUB on the front and our last names on the back. We figured it would help our guests identify us better.
We made one more run-through of the evening. People were supposed to start arriving at seven o’clock, we were going to mingle with refreshments and music, then Tracy, Diane, and I were going to welcome everybody around eight, tell them about the Club, and then … I wasn’t really sure.
Everybody took their places. The parents were at the refreshment table, Diane and Kara were at the front table, other members were stationed throughout, and the guys went off to the side so they’d be there if we needed them but wouldn’t make the girls feel uncomfortable.
I studied the clock and unlocked the door at seven sharp.
And so it began.
MY PARENTS KEPT REMINDING ME THAT people usually show up to parties late. And that traffic could be bad, especially for people traveling down from Milwaukee.
But as the clock hit seven fifteen, a sinking feeling started to take over. It wasn’t like I expected everybody to be lined up out the door by seven, but I thought someone would’ve shown up by then.
“It’s going to be fine,” Diane tried to convince me, but then she began to twirl her hair, revealing that she wasn’t so sure herself. “You’re used to everybody showing up on time for our usual meetings. But some people are driving a couple hours. They’re going to be a few minutes late.”
“I guess.” I kept looking out at the cars driving past the center, willing one to pull in.
“I think it’s like waiting for water to boil,” Kara said. “You know, it’s never going to happen if you stare.”
I walked away from the door and made sure my back was to it. I resisted the urge to turn around every time I heard a car pass by. But then I could see the eyes of all the Club members nervously dart over to the front as well. I knew it wasn’t my fault if nobody showed up or if this night turned out to be a huge disaster, but I did feel responsible for the Club. I was the reason they were there. I was the reason there were forty girls (hopefully) spending their Valentine’s Day with us. I didn’t want to let them down.
Dad came over and put his arm around me, clearly aware that I needed a pep talk. “Have I told you lately how proud we are of you, kiddo?” He gave me a tight hug. “Look at this party, it’s really incredible. I can’t believe how much your Beatles club has taken off.”
“It’s not a Beatles club,” I reminded him for what seemed like the umpteenth time.
He held his hands out. “I know, I know. We’re still proud of you. Imagine if it was a Beatles club.”
Right then, I heard the door swing open. I spun around to see Diane welcoming three girls.
“Hello,” one of the girls said cautiously. “I was e-mailing with Penny Lane. I’m Danielle.”
“Yes!” I couldn’t contain my excitement. “Hi, Danielle — I’m Penny.”
She got flustered. “Oh my gosh, it’s you!”
“Yes.” I was unsure of what people expected upon meeting me. “Come on in.”
Diane and Kara gave them the special name tags that Tracy had designed. Once they signed in, I brought them to a group of girls who were trying to not stare at our first guests.
Danielle introduced me to her two friends, Kim and Macallan.
I looked at the redheaded girl. “Macallan? That’s an interesting name.”
She smiled at me. “Yeah, my dad’s a fan of … you know, it’s a long story.”
“Oh, believe me, I understand having to explain your name.” I gestured to my PENNY LANE name tag. Normally, I would’ve had it say only Penny, but my parents got very upset when I didn’t include my “proper” first name. And since they were spending their Valentine’s Day with the group, I wanted to appease them the best I could.
Erin, Hilary, and Amy came over to talk to our new guests as I excused myself to meet a group of four girls who’d arrived with a mother in tow.
The mother looked around suspiciously. “Yes, I’m sorry, but are there adults present? As you can imagine, I was a little worried that they wanted to go to some event they found online.”
Diane’s mom approached the table. She’d been assigned to be the parental chaperone for the evening. One look at Diane’s mom and you could see where Diane got her looks, although not her height. Diane’s mom was nearly eight inches taller than her daughter, but everything else was the same: pale blue eyes, blond hair (her mom’s in a straight bob), and a warmness that emanated from her.
“I’m Maggie Monroe. I’m so happy that you could come tonight.” She shook the other mom’s hand. “Why don’t you come on in and I’ll introduce you around and tell you how wonderful this club has been for the girls.”
A steady stream of visitors soon showed up at the door. I was so busy mingling and doing my best to meet everybody that I didn’t even realize it when Nicole, Todd’s unfortunate date that night at the pizza place, arrived.
“You made it!” I greeted her with a hug.
“Of course, and I brought some of my friends.” She introduced us, and I was very grateful that my parents had suggested name tags. There was no way I was going to remember everybody’s name.
The group started chatting about ideas they had for their own Lonely Hearts Clubs. It was exciting to see the enthusiasm spreading around the room. I was listening intently when my eye caught Ryan and Bruce heading to the front door in a hurry. When I looked over to see what they were reacting to, my heart nearly stopped.
It was Todd. With Missy.
I excused myself and hurried to the door, trying to not let our guests know there was a problem. By the time I got there, Ryan already had his hand on Todd’s arm.
“Don’t do this,” he warned.
“I’m sorry — I thought this was a party. Are you telling me that I’m not allowed?” Todd raised his voice with every word. Tracy was right behind me, helping to block our guests from the show Todd was trying to put on.
“Yes, and you’re not invited,” I hissed. “I guess we should’ve put a sign up: No jerks allowed.” I crossed my arms, making it clear he would have to get through me before he stepped another foot into the room.
Todd laughed. “Then what are you doing here?”
“Let’s go outside.” Ryan tugged at Todd’s arm. “Come on, man, don’t cause a scene. Why would you want to ruin this for her? It’s a total jerk move.”
“What’s going on?” One of our guests asked, confused about the scene before her.
Oh, nothing, I almost said. Todd’s being his usual horror show self.
Ryan answered instead. “Todd stopped by to say hello, but he’s going now. Aren’t you, Todd?” Diane escorted our guest away as Ryan stood up tall, facing his supposed best friend. He looked hard at Todd, practically daring him to defy him.
Bruce, a couple inches taller than them both, stood next to Ryan. He looked down at Todd. “I think you better get going, mate.”
Todd looked up at Bruce and laughed in his face. “Wow, they’ve gotten to you, too.” He took a step back, probably sensing that he wasn’t going to win this battle. “Yeah, sure. I guess you belong here, Bauer, since your little girlfriend has taken your balls away. What a joke.”
I stepped forward, but felt Tracy’s hand on my wrist. “Let him go,” she whispered to me. “We can’t cause a scene.” I knew that, but I didn’t like Ryan and Bruce, or anyone else, having to fight my battles for me.
Todd looked like he was going to leave but then took the stack of name tags on the table in front and threw them up in the air as he screamed, “HAVE FUN, YOU PATHETIC DYKES!”
Ryan took Todd by the collar and pushed him out the door. I was frozen as I watched Ryan get up in Todd’s face. I could only make out a few words beyond the glass door. They were pretty intense words.
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I heard a voice next to me and saw that Missy was still there. “Fun party,” she commented with a smug grin on her face.
“You know, Missy, you think you’re so cool, but this is where Todd wanted to take you on Valentine’s Day,” I reminded her. “Here. To be a jerk. And do you even realize that he’s dated half of the Club, and they would all rather be here than date him. So what exactly does that tell you? But I guess you two belong together. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a group of sixty amazing girls who don’t need to blindly follow a guy around to make them feel better about themselves. Next time you want to call someone pathetic, take a look in the mirror.”
I turned away from her and noticed that everybody had been looking in our direction. So much for not making a scene. I quickly glanced back, and was relieved to see that Missy was gone and that Ryan was again inside.
Tracy had a grin on her face. “I find it hysterical that Todd thought he could cause damage, when in fact all he managed was to reiterate to people why they need this club: loser boys.”
“I’m really sorry about that.” Ryan came up to me cautiously with Bruce behind him. “I don’t know what he was thinking. Don’t let him ruin the party.”
“Are you okay?” I asked. “What happened? Did he hurt you?” I scanned Ryan for any scratches or bruises. Not that he couldn’t take care of himself — Todd outsized Ryan in weight only. Ryan outsized Todd in class, smarts, looks, and pretty much every category of awesome.
“He was being Todd. I’m done.” He looked beside himself. “There was no reason for him to show up, except to be a prick.”
“Are you guys okay?” Bruce asked, his eyes fixated on Tracy.
She nodded. “Yes, because I’m not dating Todd. That alone makes me fan-friggin-tastic.”
I tried to lighten the mood. “That was some colorful language you were using,” I teased.
He looked horrified. “Oh God, you heard that? I hope your dad didn’t. I was so mad —”
“It’s okay,” I interrupted him. “Thank you for helping with that. I really appreciate it.”
We both held our gazes, and what I wanted to do right then and there was to give him the biggest, longest kiss in the history of kisses. But that probably wasn’t the wisest idea in the middle of a giant Lonely Hearts Club recruitment meeting.
He cleared his throat. “Yeah, well, I better go.” He gestured for Bruce to join him off to the side.
Tracy glanced at her watch. “Well, we should get ready to talk.”
I’d been so preoccupied with meeting everybody that I’d forgotten we still had our speeches left.
“I guess.” The nerves that had disappeared once everybody began showing up had popped up again in my stomach.
We rounded up Diane and headed toward the corner where the microphone was set up. Tracy shut off the music. We could hear the murmurs of countless conversations taking place throughout the room.
“Ah, excuse me,” I said into the microphone. “Can we please have everybody’s attention for a minute?” The room began to quiet down. “Thanks so much for coming. I think I’ve met everybody, but I’m Penny Lane Bloom.” There were some cheers and I could hear a distant loud whistle that I knew was coming from Dad. “Anyways, Diane, Tracy, and I wanted to say a few words about The Lonely Hearts Club. So without further ado, Tracy Larson.”
Tracy did a deep curtsy with her applause. “Thanks, everyone.” She took a dramatic breath. “Hi, my name is Tracy, and I’m a former boy addict.”
A few of the audience members returned with a “Hi, Tracy!”
“This is a little embarrassing to admit, but every summer I used to create a Boyfriend List. It was exactly what it sounds like: a list of guys I wanted to date, in order of hotness, obvs. At the beginning of every school year, I’d hold out hope that this would be the year that I’d date someone on the list. And without fail, the guys were either dating someone else or not interested. I mean, can you imagine that?” Tracy jokingly posed saucily to some hollers.
“But instead of me thinking, well, I guess that’s okay, I would get so upset. Because I didn’t look at it like the guy wanted to date someone else. I took it that I wasn’t good enough.” Her voice unexpectedly cracked. She paused before regaining her composure. “All I would do is beat myself up over it. I wasn’t pretty enough, smart enough, thin enough. This is really embarrassing to admit, but I’ve never been asked out on a date. I’ve never been kissed. And all that would do is fill me with such sadness. Clearly, there had to be something wrong with me, right?” There were a lot of people nodding with Tracy, knowing how bad that feeling could be.
“I was obsessed with getting a date. And why? So I could date a guy for a couple months in high school and then get dumped, or move away to college and try to do the long-distance thing. That’s why I’m so grateful for this club. Because none of that matters with The Lonely Hearts Club. We have friends, a sisterhood, and it has nothing to do with what guy is going to ask you to a stupid dance. We matter as individuals. We have each other, and every day I wake up so grateful that Pen over there got her heart stomped on. As much as that sucked for her, it worked out for all of us. I was resistant to the Club originally, but now I don’t know what I’d do without it. Probably try to date some guy who wasn’t worth it. No, thank you.”
There was some laughter from the audience as Tracy handed the microphone to Diane. I could see Diane’s hands shake slightly. Diane was used to being in front of people — former cheerleading captain, Student Council President — so I couldn’t believe that this would make her nervous.
“Hi, everybody. Thanks for coming.” Her usually peppy voice was now measured. “So I’m Diane and I used to be that girl. You know this girl. You might have been her, or maybe it was your best friend, but I guarantee you have someone in your circle of friends who’s like this. I used to dump my friends when I got a boyfriend. And, to be more specific, I dumped Penny.” Her eyes were focused down. It was a history that I knew well, but didn’t realize how hard it was for her to admit the truth to everybody.
I tried to nonchalantly search the room to see if Ryan was listening. But I didn’t see any of the guys or parents. They knew we needed some privacy for this. The few people who’d recorded the beginning of the speeches had put their cameras down. We’d already agreed to post some photos and speeches from tonight online for people who couldn’t make it, but it was clear that Diane’s would be kept between those in the room.
She continued, “I had a great best friend, and what did I do the second I got a boyfriend? I ignored her. Or we’d make plans and I would cancel on her. All my focus and attention was on my boyfriend. That’s all I really cared about. It got to the point that I didn’t want to make any plans in case Ry — he would call.” Diane grimaced when Ryan’s name nearly slipped out.
“Well, I don’t think I need to tell you what eventually happened. We broke up. While it was amicable, the damage to my friendships had already been done. It had been over four years since I’d really talked to Penny. It wasn’t the easiest road back for us, but The Lonely Hearts Club not only saved our friendship, but it made me realize a few things about myself. I usually did things for other people. I spent all my time cheering for other people, so I decided to quit cheerleading last year and join the basketball team, because that’s what I wanted to do. I figured it was time that I started thinking about myself. And I still have a long way to go, but for the first time in months, I’m able to look in the mirror and be happy with the person staring back at me.”
The room was silent. Anybody passing Diane on the street would envy her looks, but she was talking about something deeper, about the person she was becoming.
I was so busy reflecting on everything she had said and how brave she was that I didn’t register that she was trying to pass me the microphone. I finally took it in one hand and reached into my back pocket for my index cards. But when I looked down at my notes, it didn’t feel right. I was planning on talki
ng about the Club in general, what we do on Saturday nights, how we’ve done some philanthropic events, and so on.
Tracy and Diane’s speeches had been from the heart. I felt I owed it to everybody to be real. I put the cards back in my pocket.
“Thank you so much for sharing your stories, Tracy and Diane.” I looked at both of them gratefully. “It shouldn’t come as a shock that this all started with a boy. And I do mean boy.” I paused for laughter, as I was incredibly unprepared for what I had to do next.
Open old wounds.
“There was this guy I had known for forever. Our parents are best friends. We used to spend every summer together. I really thought I was in love with him. He said everything I wanted to hear and did everything I thought a guy should do, but that wasn’t enough for him. He wanted more. And I felt like if I didn’t give in to him, I’d be pushing him away. So …” I was startled at the hot stinging behind my eyes. It had been several months, I was completely over Nate, but it still hurt.
“So I went down to our basement to surprise him. I was going to … you know.” I looked around the room, hoping that I wouldn’t have to be even more humiliated by detailing this private moment. “Well, it seemed that the jackass couldn’t wait any longer. I found him with another girl in a very compromising position, naked.” I waited to see how much this would upset me, but instead, I was practically empty inside. It felt like it had happened in another life.
“So I was hurt, I was upset, and I started to think about all the crap my friends and I went through for guys. Or the lengths we went through to get them to give us the time of day. I didn’t want to deal with it anymore — what was the point? And being the child of Beatles fanatics, The Lonely Hearts Club came to me. I originally thought it would only be me, but then I told Diane about the Club, and it sort of took off. Which I guess is an understatement, given that I’m up here speaking to all of you.