CHAPTER IV.

  THE BLUE RIBBON.

  Every evening was spent now at the theatre, or at some greatentertainment. The morning did not begin till noon. In accordance withBella's advice, Eric had made the requisite visits, and was generallyincluded in the invitations.

  He beheld this society life with fresh eyes, like one coming fromanother world. What lay behind these smiling, gaily-dressed exteriors,and the friendly greetings they exchanged with one another? Heshuddered as he looked at the white-cravatted crowd. In thesmoking-room each man vied with another in telling lewd tales, and thenreturned to the married ladies and young girls in the dancing-hall, andput on his most courtly manners.

  Eric for the most part kept modestly in the background, but Bella wasexceedingly friendly and confiding in her manner towards him. Shefloated gaily down the stream of intoxicating pleasures, pleased to beone of the first, if not the supreme.

  The Russian prince also was very gracious to Eric, and talked to him agreat deal of Knopf and of a wonderful American child at Mattenheim.

  Pranken saluted him in silence, hardly ever exchanging a word with him.

  By the first dignitaries of the State and the Court, Eric was kindlyreceived, and heard from various quarters of the praise bestowed uponhim by the Countess von Wolfsgarten and her husband.

  Eric's acquaintance with Weidmann had reached that point where bothregretted that they could see so little of each other, and yet with thebest intentions could come no nearer together. Only once did theysucceed in getting a deeper insight into one another, and here too,strangely enough, it was when the conversation was personal. They werespeaking of Clodwig, for whom both expressed equal respect, butWeidmann could not help saying:--

  "I admire this power, but I could never exercise it. Our friend has thefaculty of entering heartily into the sphere in which he lives; I meanby that, he can put on and off his moods of mind as he does hisdress-coat. His own tastes lead him to live among entirely differentinterests, interests directly antagonistic to all this whirl andconfusion; but the moment he enters this sphere no trace of anyantagonism appears in him; he seems perfectly in harmony with the lifeabout him."

  Eric took his meaning, and said he could now understood a reproach thathe had been tormenting himself with. Weidmann's eye rested thoughtfullyupon him as he spoke.

  "People say, at one time, that we should try to sift every experience,should take fire at this thing or that; and again, they require us topass over things indifferently, and let them go without a protest. Icannot do that, and therefore am not suited for society."

  Weidmann appeared to take a different view of the matter that disturbedEric, for he replied that he ought to be perfectly satisfied withhaving succeeded in fostering noble thoughts in a boy of Roland'scharacter and position.

  Often, whole evenings passed without Eric's seeing Roland, soconstantly was he surrounded by the young dancers of both sexes, whopraised and petted him like some favorite plaything. Every night hecame home with his breast covered with favors in the German, and theday found him weary and absent. Eric noticed that perfumed notes weresometimes handed him by the porter. Any regular course of study was outof the question. Roland went about through the day, humming the musicof the night before, which was still running through his head. Hepreserved with great secrecy in his writing-desk the cards engravedwith the order of the dances, and many other souvenirs besides; and hisface began to wear an expression of reserve.

  Pranken was delighted to see his family, as he called the Sonnenkamps,thus admitted into society. It was now arranged that Roland should takepart with the others in the French comedy. The young CountessOttersweier, who was to take the part of a page at the court of LouisFourteenth, was ill with the measles, and her part was assigned toRoland. A beautiful dress was ordered for him, and all his thoughtswere now turned to the play and the rehearsals that were to precede it.

  When the first dress-rehearsal took place, and Roland showed himself tohis parents in his becoming costume of close-fitting white silk tights,they were full of admiration; his mother in especial could not restrainher expressions of rapture. Roland glanced at Eric, who for some timehad been looking gloomily on the ground. He wanted to ask him why hewas so pedantic, for that was what his fellow-actors called him; but hechecked himself, and only said:--

  "I promise you I will learn again, by and by, all the lessons you giveme, only let us be merry now."

  Eric smiled; he felt that his pupil was having destroyed in him whatcould never be repaired; but what could he do? The question indeedpassed through his mind whether he should not leave, now that all hehad so carefully planted and nurtured was taken and trampled underfoot; and only the thought that nothing would then stand between Rolandand destruction kept him at his difficult post. Still he considered ithis duty to communicate his anxiety to Sonnenkamp, who comforted him bysaying that American youths were ripe in years, and masters of theirown lives, when Germans would be still sitting on a bench at school,and grieving under a master's criticism.

  "I fear," said Eric, "that Roland is losing the best possession thatman can win."

  "What do you mean by that?"

  "He should learn above all things to find his best pleasures inhimself."

  "So you would like to make a scholar of him, a man who can boil his owncoffee?"

  "You understand me very well, and I understand your joke. You know thatwhat I mean to say is this, that the man who can find no pleasurewithin himself will find none in the world. On that point we in amanner agree with the church people, only we understand it somewhatdifferently. Whoever will be happy must enter into the kingdom ofheaven that is open in every human soul; who does not that, is alwaysdependent on voluntary or purchased service and respect."

  Sonnenkamp listened to Eric's quiet enthusiasm with a nod of assent. Heagreed with his ideas, but thought them strangely mixed with anecclesiastical asceticism which he merely interpreted into the languageof the world.

  While Roland was at the rehearsals of the French play, Eric would oftenspend his time at the teachers' club, and was pained to find here alsoan aristocracy. The teachers of the higher schools were separated fromthose of the primary. Eric was received by many as an old acquaintance,and found himself followed by the fame he had won at the musicalfestival, for the teachers are the chief supporters of vocal music.They had a private singing club here, and Eric sang with his comradesmore beautifully than ever.

  He often stole away from this noisy company and joined the meetings ofthe humbler school-teachers, where he seemed to be transplanted toanother planet.

  Here sat the serious, earnest men, most of them worn with work,discussing questions pertaining to their calling, as how best toinfluence and guide a child's soul; and out in the world, a soultrained to the best of human ability was squandering the teacher'swhole long and painful work in a single evening.

  If we knew what was to be the result of our labors, we could not live;the best part of our own ideality is our ignorance of the future, andour belief in a full completion of our plans.

  Eric could not resist telling Herr Sonnenkamp of his evenings in theschool-masters' club, and Sonnenkamp was much interested in hisaccount. He thought it very fine to have other men cultivate the ideal.

  "They are happier than we," he said, as he drank his heavy Burgundy.

  On the evening preceding the performance of the French play, Roland, athis father's bidding, invited all his fellow-actors to a party at thehotel. The gentlemen came, but none of the ladies except Bella. Shetook Sonnenkamp aside, and told him confidentially that he would neversucceed in drawing ladies to his parties, till he had in his house theFrau Professorin nee von Burgholz. She only half acknowledged toherself that she should feel a little ashamed to meet, on her return tothe country, a person with whom she had so often discussed theemptiness and worthlessness of the amusements of society, and wastherefore anxious to have all brought into the vortex, that non
e needhave to fear the reproachful glances of another; but besides this, itwas perfectly true that Sonnenkamp without the von Burgholz would neveraccomplish what with her aid would be an easy matter.

  Bella was malicious enough to tell Sonnenkamp that the Cabinetsraethinfleeced him, while in society she disowned him, and described theirconnection as one purely of necessity and neighborhood.

  Sonnenkamp was doubly incensed, but had to look unconcerned.

  The play came off. Roland's beauty and ready grace were the theme ofgeneral admiration. Even Bella, whose versatility was admirablydisplayed by the numerous changes of costume and character that herpart had demanded, was quite thrown into the shade by the enthusiasm heexcited.

  The Queen summoned Roland to her side and conversed for some time withhim; both were observed to smile as they talked together. The King camehimself to Sonnenkamp and his wife, and congratulated them upon theirbrilliant son, at the same time asking when he was to enter the schoolof cadets.

  "When a name shall have been graciously bestowed upon him," repliedSonnenkamp calmly.

  The King frowned, bowed, and passed on.

  Sonnenkamp drew a long breath. He had evidently made a mistake tointroduce the matter at such a time and in such a way; but it could notbe helped now, and forward was the word. He cast angry glances around,as if he would like to have doubled the whole glittering assembly up inhis fists, and kneaded it into what shape he pleased.

  His temper was not improved by Pranken coming up, and asking what hecould have said to the King that had so ruffled him. Sonnenkamp did notconsider it necessary to acknowledge his mistake.

  Eric looked with melancholy upon the scene around him; near the pillaragainst which he was leaning, a beautiful palm languidly drooped itsfan-shaped leaves. It perishes in the sultry air under this brightflood of gas-light, he thought, as he gazed at the plant; if it berestored to a favorable atmosphere, it still pines and perhaps perishesutterly. Will it be so with Roland too? How expect him to strive afterthe ideal, after a higher activity, when all this splendor and homagehave been offered him?

  Eric found himself, he could hardly tell why, imagining ProfessorEinsiedel here; and the thought called a smile to his face, for justsuch a Professor Einsiedel was he. What then are we who live only inthe region of thought? Spectators; nothing but spectators, while thereis the world with its driving and snatching after enjoyment, every oneplundering and appropriating whatever he can seize. Why will you standaside? Why not hurry and scuffle with the rest? His breath came quickand short, his cheeks glowed. He was in this mood, when Roland came tohim and said:--

  "If you are not satisfied with me, I care nothing for the rest."

  Eric gave him his hand, and Roland continued:--

  "The Queen wants me to be photographed in this dress, and so do all theladies. The other actors will do the same. Is it not fine?"

  "Certainly, it will be a pleasant memento for you by and by."

  "Ah, by and by! by and by! it is pleasant now, I don't want to knowanything of by and by. Oh, if we only did not have to sleep, andundress, and to-morrow be different again! If we could only live onlike this for a hundred years without stopping!"

  Eric perceived how completely Roland's head was turned by all theadulation he had received; it was no time now to try to turn thecurrent.

  But he himself was put in a state of unwonted excitement before theevening was over.

  He had noticed Bella talking very earnestly with the Minister of War,formerly colonel of his regiment, who presently approached him, and,after saluting, and talking of indifferent matters, finally asked if hewould not like a professorship in the school of cadets when his pupilentered.

  Eric expressed his cordial thanks for the great kindness, but couldgive no decided answer. He was startled at the next question, whetherhe had made any definite plan for himself, after the completion of theyoung American's education; he had made none. Still more was hestartled, when his questioner further asked if he should not thenreturn to his literary and scientific pursuits, as he had heard thehighest hopes expressed of him by those who had known him in theuniversity.

  Eric was perplexed; all such pursuits he had sacrificed. What was tobecome of him? To make matters worse, he had drawn his mother also intothese relations.

  After the Minister had gone, he caught Bella's fiery glance fixed uponhim, and he seized the first opportunity that offered, to thank her forhaving so kindly recommended him to the Minister of War.

  "All jealousy--all jealousy; I want to get you out of the house beforethat fascinating Manna returns." Bella was in great good humor.

  The next day, while Roland was with his companions at thephotographer's, decorated with a new blue ribbon which he had secretlyfastened on his dress, and while servants were distributing cards ofinvitation to the great Sonnenkamp ball, Sonnenkamp himself,accompanied only by Lootz, drove to Villa Eden.

 
Berthold Auerbach's Novels