CHAPTER V.
BE LED INTO TEMPTATION.
Manna went regularly to church, and prayed with constant and unchangingfervor, but a peculiar shyness held her back from the parsonage. Shesaid constantly to herself that the Priest himself had told her that itwould be well to avoid seeing him for a time, till she had becomefamiliar with her new life.
Often, in the midst of conversation with the Professorin, a fear cameover her that she was binding herself too closely to the life ofanother, and she felt that she must regain her power of looking beyondall the varying phenomena of the world. She at last came to thedetermination to go to the Priest, to whom she began to explain andexcuse her long absence; but he interrupted her mildly, saying that sheneed tell him nothing, he had read her soul, and believed that heunderstood her feelings; she must appear to herself, like a person who,returning to earth after his departure from it, watches the actions ofmen, their restless days and nights of painful dreams, their attemptsto satisfy or to benumb the conscience.
He impressed it upon her that she ought to judge people gently; theworst sinners indeed were those who believed they knew what they weredoing, and it was most difficult to pardon them; but if we take thehighest views, these were the ones who most needed forgiveness,because, in spite of what they say, they really do not know what theydo, and we can always say of them. Lord, forgive them. There is nothingleft for us, but silently to pray for their salvation, imploring themerciful Father to grant them redemption.
Without mentioning any name, he then went on to represent to her thatthere are some people, who, with outward piety and self-complacency,perform so-called good works, and borrow holy words for the expressionof thoughts far removed from what is really divine.
He thus described the Professorin without naming her.
Then he delineated others, who, full of knowledge, swerve constantlyfrom the central truth, and who, without having any fixed goal of theirown, imagine that they are able to lead others.
Thus he delineated Eric.
With the greatest caution he painted the men of the world, who wish toforce the Lord of heaven and earth to show them favor, and who withtheir scoffs banish all humility. He openly named as examples DoctorRichard and the Weidmann circle, but at the same time he had Sonnenkampin view, but the daughter must make this application for herself.
Manna listened eagerly. As she looked out of the window, her eyesrested on her father's house, with the park and garden, and it seemedto her as if they must all be overwhelmed, the waters surge up from theRhine, the everlasting floods submerge the earth, and only here in thisroom is the ark of safety.
Timidly, hardly breathing the words aloud, she mournfully asked why thetask of returning into life was laid upon her.
The Priest gently consoled her, telling her that, as an eye which mustsoon close, to open again in eternity, watched from this window overall which passed below in the valley, so an unchanging eye was watchingover her; she must enter the tumult without fear, having within herthoughts which looked down upon it all from a lofty height of theirown. This was the real trial specially laid upon her.
He went farther, and charged Manna not to come to him again for a longtime; she was to remain away for weeks and months, that she might gainstrength within herself; she was to be fettered by no external bond,not even that of making stated visits to him, but all was to depend onher own free, steadfast, independent will; leaning upon herself, withno outward support, she was to conquer all temptations.
Manna asked hesitatingly, why the Priest had not taken upon himself thewide-extending benevolent work, which the Professorin was nowcommissioned by her father to carry on.
"Why?" exclaimed the Priest, with a flash in his usually quiet eye."We cannot take what is not given to us; they must learn that thisso-called benevolence, without the blessing of the Church, becomesabsolutely null, and I command you to have nothing to do with it, foryou cannot enter into such a fellowship."
Manna was much startled when the Priest told her that he did notconsider her fitted to take the veil, that it would be better for herto be Pranken's wife.
The color mounted to Manna's face, and she moved her hands as ifwarding off a blow; she opened her mouth, but could not utter a word.
"It is well," said the Priest, soothingly, "it is well if you canconquer this too, but we do not call you, we do not beguile you; youmust come at your own call, and follow your own leading. People willwhisper to you. The parsons, for so they call us, have misled you withmost cunning wiles. You must remember, the sun shining down upon usbears witness that I have urged you not to renounce the world entirely.If you cannot do otherwise, if you feel an imperative call, then youwill be welcome to us; not otherwise, not even with all your wealth."
The Priest had arisen, and was walking up and down the room with hastystrides, A long pause ensued; he stood at the window, looking out,while Manna sat trembling on the sofa. The Priest turned towards her,saying,--
"You see what esteem we feel for you, when we leave all to your ownstrength, the strength of faith and of renunciation within you; holdfirmly to that, and let us speak freely and calmly to each other. Doyou not think this Herr Dournay a most attractive man? Speak to me asopenly and sincerely as you would to yourself."
"I don't yet know what to think. I am inclined to believe that there issomething in him which might make him a noble instrument of the HolySpirit."
"Ah! is that your feeling? Thank you for being so honest andunreserved. That is the wonderful art of the tempter, that he canassume the purest form; with a pretence of duty and the hope ofconversion he can so tempt the poor child of humanity, that it does notnotice that it has already fallen into evil. This then is the shape hetakes for you? I advise you, yes, I require it of you, I command you,to attempt to change this false coin into true metal. Try it, it isyour duty; and if you succeed, you are greater than I thought, and ifyou fail, you are cured for ever. The ways of Providence are wise,which have brought this man to you, and planted the thought of hisconversion in your heart; you are bound, for the sake of his salvationand your own, to make the attempt and to persevere in it. Look out ofdoors! it is springtime, everything seems thriving and blooming insecurity; but the day will come when the tempest will burst forth,rending the branches and tearing up the roots, and so it must be. Whatis planted in you must be tried by the storm of temptation, with allits fine and cunning wiles; it must be tossed hither and, thither tillit is all but uprooted--not till then will you be strong."
Again the Priest strode up and down with heavy steps. Manna knew notwhat to say, nor how she was to leave this room, and go back again intothe sight of men who were to be to her as shadows, as forms assumed bythe tempter.
The Priest turned towards her, and said gently,--
"Now go, go, my daughter. And God be with thee."
He gave her his blessing, and Manna went. With a conflict in her heart,straining her powers to look at life as a spectacle, as a temptationwhich she must not avoid, she devoted herself to those around her, andno one suspected why she was so cheerful and ready to be induced totake part in every kind of merriment.