“And this?” He captured her clit with his mouth again and at the same time slid a finger deep inside her.
Her inner muscles instantly tightened over his finger. A shaky breath squeezed out of her lungs as he began a slow torturous rhythm. Licking, pushing his finger deeper, sucking, sliding his finger out. It was almost too much to bear, the pleasure building inside of her, swirling around and just waiting to explode.
“Let go, baby. I want you to come.”
Maybe she would have said something else, told him she wanted them to come together, but the moment he pushed another finger inside her she exploded.
Moan after moan slipped from her throat, shudder after shudder racked her body. The room started spinning so she pressed her hands on Luke’s head, wanting to steady herself, wanting to hold onto him as the most intense orgasm of her life crashed over her.
Only when she began to tremble did Luke ease the pressure on her clit and lift his dark head. He slid up the bed. Looked at her with eyes narrowed with pure satisfaction.
She blinked, feeling like she’d emerged from a hazy dream and in a raspy voice said, “God, Luke, that was…”
He nuzzled her neck. “That was what?”
“Incredible.” She shivered. “But not enough. I need more. I need you.”
“Good.” His expression was rueful as he glanced down at his crotch. “Because I need you too.”
Feeling bold, she skimmed her hand down his chest, brushing over the feathering of hair until she reached his erection. “I see that you do.”
He leaned down and kissed her, his tongue swirling and exploring, while she continued her own exploration with her hand. She lost herself in the kiss, groaning when he finally broke it to shuck his boxers.
With a quick peck to her lips he moved his body over hers. She saw the sparkle of desire and anticipation in his eyes as his tip brushed over her opening and a rush of need filled her body. God, she wanted him. Again. Forever.
He gripped her thighs with his palms and spread her legs wider, and they groaned, simultaneously, as he slid into her. Inch by inch. Until his cock was buried deep in her center.
Her nipples hardened against his chest, and she found herself wet again. Ready to go again. Pressing her hands on his back, she drew lazy circles over his skin with her fingernails and arched her hips, taking him in deeper.
He moved inside her slowly at first, as if he wanted to make every second last but she saw in his pained eyes that he wanted to let go.
“I was going to spend the entire night making up for the last time,” he said in a strangled voice.
“Oh, you will. Later.” She dropped her hands to his buttocks and squeezed. “Right now I just want to see you lose control.”
A small grin lifted the corners of his sexy mouth but it didn’t stay there for long. In an instant his features grew taut and he was plunging into her.
“More,” she whispered, bucking her hips. “Faster.”
He quickened his pace, and thrust his tongue inside her mouth with the same fervor his erection thrust in her warmth. She felt his climax building, knew her own wasn’t far behind, and she wrapped her legs around him, wanting to feel his heart thudding against her breasts when they toppled over the edge.
They came together, hard and fast. She cried out his name, and he buried his face in the damp curve of her neck with a ragged groan.
White-hot shards of pleasure shattered before her eyes, sucking all the breath from her body. She held on to Luke’s sweat-soaked back as if he were a life preserver and opened her mouth eagerly to let his tongue enter it again.
As the waves of release finally subsided, Luke slowly rolled over and pulled her into his arms. “I can’t move my legs,” he mumbled.
She pressed her cheek on his chest and enjoyed the erratic beating of his heart against her ear. Raising her head, she looked at him with dazed, sated eyes, opened her mouth, closed it, and then smiled.
Vivian sat motionless in the front seat of her Jeep staring at the darkened house in front of her. She wondered if Josh was asleep. God, she hoped so. She wasn’t in the mood to talk to him right now. She was still feeling shell-shocked from Ellie’s abrupt dismissal of her, from that hurt and angry look in her friend’s eyes when she’d admitted Josh was in town.
Glancing back at the dark windows of her living room, she wondered when she’d become so chicken she couldn’t even walk into her own home. She let out a long sigh and glanced at the digital clock on the car stereo. Three-fifteen a.m. Usually she left the club once the girls finished their second performance around midnight, letting the staff close up for the night, but tonight she’d found reasons to stay. All so she wouldn’t have to go home and face Josh.
He had to be sleeping by now, which suited her just fine.
Tonight she’d realized what a fool she’d been. No matter how sweet Josh was, no matter how wonderful he made her feel, she was simply too old for him. Three days with him around and she’d become the child she’d accused him of being. Sneaking around with her friend’s brother, stashing him in her house, lying about it. She was carrying on like a teenager, for God’s sake, and enough was enough.
In a few months she’d turn forty-five and that meant she needed to start acting her age again. Making love to Josh would be so easy, but giving him the relationship he wanted wouldn’t. Sooner or later they’d reach a crossroads. He’d want more than she could give and they’d end up going their separate ways. So why prolong the inevitable?
It was time to send him home. With Ellie out of a job, Josh got what he came for. Not all he’d come for but the most important part, anyway.
Turning off the engine, she got out of the Jeep and gently closed the door. The entire neighborhood was silent and the deserted street made her feel oddly wistful. Sometimes she really missed the city, the clutter of cars on the Golden Gate, the chattering of people as they walked past the open windows of her downtown apartment. Had she done the same thing as Ellie? Moved to a place where she didn’t belong?
Vivian shrugged away the thought and stepped up the front lawn toward the door. The house was dark and quiet when she entered it. She squinted in the darkness, relieved by the absence of light seeping under Josh’s closed door. Looked like there wouldn’t be any heavy, emotionally draining talks tonight.
Eager not to wake him, she slid out of her heels and walked barefoot toward the kitchen, where she found the unopened bottle of whiskey in the cabinet under the sink. It had been a gift from one of her dancers but since she normally didn’t drink she’d tucked it away for a rainy day.
Or a very late night when only alcohol could drain away the tension in her body.
After pouring herself a glass she soundlessly moved toward the glass patio doors and stepped onto the deck. The moon overhead was full. Didn’t that just figure. Full moons always left her feeling restless. She very rarely got a good night’s sleep when one of those perfect pale yellow circles filled the sky.
A splashing noise from below made her jump. Riveting her gaze to the kidney-shaped pool, she bit back a groan as she saw Josh emerge from the dark water. He climbed the steps in the corner of the shallow end, six feet of dripping wet, toned muscle. When he reached the stairs of the deck he stopped in his tracks.
She couldn’t unglue her gaze from him, just watched him standing there in the shadows as her throat grew so dry she could barely swallow. He really was magnificent-looking.
“You’re still up,” she finally uttered, then felt like a complete idiot for stating the obvious.
“I was waiting for you.” He ascended the deck stairs, his bare feet leaving wet marks on the cedar. “I thought I’d take a quick dip to pass the time.”
The closer he came the faster her heart thumped. His body looked as if it had been sculpted out of marble. Rock-hard and chiseled.
“How did it go with Ellie?” he asked.
“It was awful.” Obvious torment washed over her features and when Josh took a step toward her
she knew he’d seen it. Before he could pull her into his arms she jolted back.
Uncertainty shone in his dark-blue eyes. “What’s wrong?”
What’s wrong? There were so many things wrong here she didn’t even know where to begin. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking,” she said simply.
“Why don’t I like the sound of that?” He bent to pick up the towel on the patio chair then ran it over his bare chest. “So what have you been thinking about?”
His stab at nonchalance didn’t fool her. “That it’s time for you to go.”
He set his jaw. “I see.”
“Look, your sister is furious with me, and I don’t blame her. But I still believe firing her was the right thing to do. I think she’ll be coming home any day, which means there’s no reason for you to stick around.”
“No reason?” he echoed. “What about us? Isn’t that reason enough?”
“There is no us. We had a nice dinner, shared a few kisses, but that’s all. What did you think, that we’d get married?”
He remained silent.
“The bottom line, Josh, is that I’m too old for you. Not only that but I don’t have time to screw around. I have a club to run, and you have a law practice to go back to. We’re in different places in our lives. Truth is, we always will be.”
“That’s bullshit.”
“No, it isn’t. It’s reality. Marriage aside, what about kids? You can’t tell me you don’t want children.”
He chuckled. “You’re not that old, sweetheart. Women far older than you are still having babies.”
“But I don’t want to have any more babies.”
“Then we won’t have kids.”
Frustration seeped into her body and swirled down to her gut. “What’s it going to take to make you realize it won’t work between us?”
“A hell of a lot more than flimsy excuses.”
Her temples started throbbing. Damn it, why did he have to be so stubborn? Why couldn’t he just accept it wasn’t going to be?
Before she could open her mouth to speak, the sound of the telephone rang out, muffled through the closed patio door. Vivian’s frustration instantly transformed into alarm. It was nearly four in the morning. Nobody called her this late unless it was an emergency.
Without another word she spun around and entered the house. The phone was sitting in its cradle and she snatched it up quickly. “Hello?”
“Mom, it’s me.”
Her alarm deepened. “Tanya, is everything all right?”
“Everything is great!”
To Vivian’s relief, excitement poured out of her daughter’s voice. “Jeez, sweetie, you had me worried. Do you realize what time it is?”
“I knew you’d be working so I waited until I was sure you were home.”
She sighed, wanting to scold her daughter for giving her such a scare but at the same time touched that Tanya had stayed up to the wee hours of the morning to call her. Obviously she had some big news to share. “So what’s so urgent you had to lose sleep over?”
“I got into law school!”
A balloon of pride inflated in Vivian’s chest, causing her heart to soar. “Oh my God! I thought the letters weren’t being sent out for another month.”
“They’re not. But I got a personal phone call from the head of admissions at…” Tanya paused for effect, “…Harvard Law!”
As Tanya’s words sunk in, Vivian resisted the urge to let out a loud shriek of joy. God, she’d worked so hard for this. Scrimping and saving to pay for Tanya’s college tuition, pouring over those applications with her for a week straight, and it had all paid off. Her baby girl’s dream had come true.
“I can’t tell you how happy I am, sweetie.” She clung to the phone tightly, wishing Tanya were standing in front of her so she could give her a big hug.
From the corner of her eye Viv saw Josh enter the room, still clad in swim trunks. For a moment all she could do was shoot him an excited smile, her happiness over her daughter’s news taking precedence over everything else. Her smile soon faded at Tanya’s next words.
“I think I’m going to give Josh Dawson a call.”
The phone shook in her hands. “Oh. Uh, Ellie’s brother?”
“Yeah, you remember him, right, Mom? He’s a lawyer so I thought I’d arrange to get together with him, you know, get his advice and ask for tips about making it through law school alive.”
Vivian swallowed. “That’s a great idea, sweetie. I’m sure he’d love to help you.”
Tanya giggled. “Even if he doesn’t, it’ll be worth it if only to see him again. The guy is seriously hot.”
A wave of sickness splashed over her like slap to the face. Hearing her daughter call Josh “hot” made her feel like a…like a cradle-robber. What the hell was the matter with her? Josh should be dating her daughter, not her. If she’d doubted it before, she sure as hell didn’t doubt it now.
“So anyway,” Tanya continued, still sounding as if she was on cloud nine, “I’ll let you get to bed. But I’ll call you tomorrow morning with all the details, okay?”
“Sounds good, hon.”
“I love you, Mom.”
“I love you too.”
Vivian’s eyes were stinging as she hung up the phone. God, she was such a fool. Bottom lip trembling, she turned to Josh and said, “My daughter thinks you’re seriously hot.”
A look of understanding softened his features. “That doesn’t mean anything.”
“Yes it does. You should be dating someone your own age. Someone like my daughter.” She let out a breath. “God, imagine what she’d think if I told her about us?”
“Vivian—”
She held up her hand. “This is ridiculous, Joshua.” She placed emphasis on his full name, knowing she sounded like his mother and wanting him to see it. “I’m putting a stop to this. Right now.”
He tried to speak but she cut him off again. “Whatever was happening between us is over. I want you to leave.”
“You don’t mean that.”
She ignored his rough plea. “Tomorrow morning I want you to go see your sister and explain why you’ve been lurking around. When you get back you’re going to pack up your things and get on the next plane to San Francisco. I’m serious, Josh. You have no reason to stay here. I’m making it clear, right here and right now, that nothing will ever happen between us.”
“Luke, are you awake?”
Ellie nudged his bare arm, the only part of his gloriously sexy body not tangled in the bed sheets. He made an unintelligible sound and rolled over, providing her with a very nice view of his bare ass. God, he looked cute when he slept. Gone was the take-charge, I’m-always-in-control bodyguard. His features softened in slumber, making him appear younger. Sweeter.
She bit back a laugh. If he knew she was calling him sweet, he’d have a fit.
Climbing out of the bed, she fumbled around the dark room, looking for her robe. It was nearly four in the morning, but she wasn’t tired.
She slipped into her robe and glanced at Luke again, resisting the urge to jump on him and splatter kisses all over his chiseled face. Why had she never known how good sex could be? It amazed her to think about what she’d been missing out on all these years.
Her bare feet tingled, suddenly longing for a pair of ballet slippers. She wanted to dance, wanted to shout out from the rooftops how utterly happy she was.
Leaving the bedroom, she padded down the hall. She paused in front of the living room sliding doors and looked out at the ocean, midnight blue waves rippling under the silver moon. A full moon, she noted. Maybe that explained what had happened tonight. People often credited full moons with eerie events. Not that making love to Luke had been eerie. It had been…right. But unexpected.
Six months ago, the thought of going to bed with Luke would have been preposterous. Inconceivable. Yet it had happened.
Unlatching the door, she slid it open and stepped into the backyard. The sand beneath her feet was soft. And wa
rm. So was the air. Breathing in the salty humid air, she took a step forward, her eyes focused on the water as a thought slipped into her mind.
They hadn’t used protection.
She wondered how long it would take before Luke realized it. He hadn’t brought it up, but she knew he would.
She absently reached down and stroked her stomach, a motion she’d repeated constantly during the three months she’d been pregnant. Just a tiny bump. She’d lost the baby before it became a protruding bulge.
She’d never realized just how much she’d wanted to be a mother until she’d gotten pregnant. All she’d wanted since she was a kid was to dance, but that had changed once that home-pregnancy test had turned blue. She’d been ready to give up everything for her child. Speed up the wedding. Sacrifice her ballet career, which had just started to take off.
A bitter laugh escaped her throat. Well, she hadn’t had to make any sacrifices. She’d lost the child she was carrying. Lost her career. Her fiancé. The future she’d never realized she’d wanted.
“Ellie? Why are you out here?”
But she had Luke. She turned to see him at the door, wearing a pair of boxer-briefs that clung to his lean hips. Bare-chested, with his dark hair tousled from sleep, he was the most appealing sight she’d ever encountered.
Her gaze swept over the rippled chest that moments ago she’d been nestled on, the powerful arms that had embraced her, the talented mouth that had driven her over the edge time and time again. The erection that appeared the second she laid eyes on his groin. Yes, she had Luke. For now, at least.
“I couldn’t sleep,” she admitted.
He wrapped his arms around her from behind, kissing the top of her head, and she let herself sink into his warmth. Silent, they watched the water lap against the sand and listened to the crash of the waves and sleepy wailing of the gulls.
When he spoke again, what he said didn’t surprise her. “I didn’t use protection.”
“I know.” Her voice quiet, she turned and pressed her face against his chest, inhaling the scent of him. “It’s okay.”
He lifted her head with his hands and forced her to look at him. “You were protected?”