“Enough,” he said.
I’d never felt this level of fury before. Sure, I’d been angry, I’d been depressed, I’d experienced the gamut of emotions. But this? This seething hatred that made me see red, made me want to make Declan bleed so he might feel badly instead of feeling nothing at all? I’d never experienced anything like this.
“He was going to kill me!” I yelled.
“I wouldn’t have let that happen.”
“He bit me. He drank from me. Do you know what that felt like? Were you watching?”
His jaw tensed, but his single eye remained emotionless. “I was in the observation room. Yes, I was watching.”
I went to strike him again, but he caught my arm before I made contact.
“So you saw what else he was trying to do, right?” My voice trembled now. “It would have only taken a few seconds for him to start raping me. And you sick fucks were just standing there and watching that? I hate you!”
“That wouldn’t have happened.” His voice grew louder, although it still sounded frustratingly calm. “I wouldn’t have let him hurt you.”
“But he was hurting me. His hand was between my legs. His teeth were in my neck.”
“And your blood killed him, just as my father suspected it would.”
“You father,” I bit out, “is a cold, heartless bastard.”
“His methods may seem extreme to an outsider—”
“Extreme? Are you blind?” A ragged breath caught in my chest. “Oh, God. I guess you are, aren’t you? And here I thought you still had one good eye left. I should have stuck with my first impression of you. You’re just a cold-blooded killer. You’re no better than a fucking vampire.”
He didn’t speak for a moment. “I am better.”
“No, you’re not. You take that serum thinking that it makes you into a better man. Well, it doesn’t make you into a man at all. You’re a robot built to do whatever your father programs you to do. Of course he developed it for you and has forced you to take it all these years. Without it, you’d have a mind of your own. You’d have a personality. You’d have a life. And when you’re on it, you have none of those things.”
“You have no idea what you’re saying.”
“He’s brainwashed you from the very beginning. Made you take a drug that turns you into a perfect weapon he can use to destroy things with. An impotent flesh-and-blood machine that follows orders to the letter. One who’s never even touched a woman because that might compete with Daddy’s ultimate goal. After all, you might choose the woman over him.”
Declan’s gaze narrowed a fraction. “You don’t know him.”
“I don’t want to know him. He’s destroyed you.”
“He gave me a chance to live as a dhampyr child when others wanted to kill me. That thing downstairs he has locked away—you heard it trying to break free from its cell. That could be me.”
A chill coursed down my spine at the memory of the dhampyr—the hybrid experiment as Carson had referred to it. “You call this living? There’s more to living than following orders. More to living than killing vampires and getting scarred and maimed in the process. More to living than standing by and watching someone be attacked just to prove a theory.”
“Without my serum, I would become one of the monsters.”
I glared at him. “You’re more of a monster right now taking the serum than you were yesterday not taking it.”
“If I don’t take the serum, I would become like that other dhampyr. Or at the very least ... like Tobias.” His gaze hardened. “I would try to hurt you just like he did. Or like my real father hurt my mother.”
“You don’t know that for sure. From what I’ve heard, you’ve never bothered to test the theory; you’ve just gone on what Carson tells you to do.”
“It’s better this way,” he said. “Safer.”
I shook my head, feeling sickened by this entire conversation. “For somebody who’s supposed to be some sort of badass assassin, you’re one big fucking coward.”
I supposed I should have been more careful about what I said around him. I’d seen him murder three people already. I didn’t know how he’d react to such a blatant insult. Since he was like stone, there was no flare of anger. Someone else might backhand me for insolence. Declan, however, didn’t react at all.
“Be sure to cleanse and bandage your wound. I’ll have Noah bring you some food later.” Then Declan turned and left the room, closing and locking the door behind him.
12
I COULD HAVE GLOATED THAT I’D GOTTEN A GREAT jab in and that I may have even put a chink in Declan’s tarnished armor, but I didn’t. I went to the bed, curled up on top of the covers, and cried my sorry ass to sleep like a little girl afraid of the monsters hiding in the closet.
When I woke, there was a tray of food on the desk on the other side of the room as well as a pile of new clothes, along with a note.
Didn’t want to wake you. Declan asked me to pick up a few things for you this morning. Hope you approve.
—Noah
Hope I approved. Being that I was trapped in this room again, I sure as hell approved of nothing. Fresh anger over what had happened with the vampire continued to burn before I finally looked at what he’d brought me. Fresh clothes. He’d even picked up underwear for me, brave boy. No bra, though. I chose a green tank top that was loose enough for it not to matter. The clothes weren’t the very height of style. They were simple. Jogging and yoga pants. T-shirts. Generic cotton panties.
Noah had even picked me up a half-dozen paperback novels including a story about a Greek tycoon obsessed with revenge, brought to his knees by the love of the woman he was determined to make his mistress. They were the type of books I’d read in the past when I’d been on vacation and having a good time.
My old life.
I picked at the food—a chicken sandwich and potato salad. A bottle of water. A peeled orange.
And I waited, pacing the room until my anger flared again at the morning’s events.
I’d bandaged my throat. Just as Dr. Gray had said, the wound from the vampire’s bite felt a lot worse than it looked. A bit of cleaning, an application of ointment, and a simple bandage was enough.
I picked up one of the books and tried to read. Anything to take my mind off things. Needless to say, it didn’t work very well.
That afternoon, I had another attack, which left me weakened and defeated and crying on the bathroom floor. But it didn’t kill me.
I hated Declan. It took me a while to figure out just why I hated him so much more than I hated his father. After all, Carson was the mastermind behind throwing me in with the vampire to test his theory about the formula. So why did my hate for Declan trump that? What had I expected from him? He was a killer, I’d known that from the very beginning. He was a horrible, scarred bastard who had kidnapped me and taken me away from my normal life. If it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place.
I wish he’d stayed on his serum the entire time I’d known him. It was those hours he was off it that I’d begun to feel a strange connection with him, despite what he was. When he’d protected me from the blood servants and almost died. When he’d shown a glimpse of his true personality underneath the stony exterior. When he’d told me he wanted me on an entirely inappropriate level.
He’d said it to scare me, but it hadn’t worked. I realized now I’d wanted him to give in to that dark lust he felt—because I’d felt it, too. While I would have fought Tobias until my last breath if I’d been able to move after his paralyzing bite, I wouldn’t have fought Declan. I would have welcomed his hands on me.
This realization didn’t help matters at all.
But that was gone now. The Declan I’d begun to feel something for had disappeared when he’d taken the serum again, and I hated him for that. It was as if he’d murdered someone I’d started to care for—taken him away so I’d never have the chance to see him again.
Noah returned at dusk
with a tray of dinner for me. He nudged the door open with his shoulder and entered the room.
“Hey,” he greeted me.
I glared at him.
He placed the tray down next to the picked-over lunch. “Not a big fan of potato salad?”
“I’m not a big fan of being held prisoner,” I snarled, surprised by how angry I still sounded after all these hours.
His shoulders stiffened and he turned to face me. “Look, I heard what happened this morning.”
“My near-death experience?”
He grimaced. “Carson doesn’t have the greatest bedside manner, I’ll admit.”
“That’s putting it mildly.” I’d gathered enough control over myself that I didn’t try to claw Noah’s eyes out so I could escape. “Don’t kill the messenger,” as the saying went. “Do they hold a lot of innocent women here against their will whom you have to cook and shop for?”
He gave me an awkward grin. “You’re the first. Congrats.”
“It’s not right, Noah. You know that, don’t you?” I sat down heavily on the edge of my bed.
His grin faded. “I know.”
“How the hell did you get involved in all of this?”
He crossed his arms. “I volunteered.”
“For this.” I couldn’t help but sound skeptical.
He nodded. “When I heard rumors about a program dedicated to killing vampires, how could I resist? It’s a lot more interesting than pushing papers around a desk.”
“Was that your only other option?”
“I didn’t explore any other options. I knew what I wanted to do. Carson met with me, he liked my style—not that I blame him—he offered me the position here, and I took it. I haven’t looked back since. The location’s a bit remote, but I feel like I’m doing the best I can here.”
I studied him for a moment. “You seem like a good guy. You deserve better than this.”
“You haven’t tried your dinner yet,” he said. “Lasagna. Not exactly my specialty, I’ll warn you now.”
“How can you just stand by and let them do this? You saw me yesterday. I’m sick.”
His expression shadowed. “I know. I’m sorry.”
“It happened again today. I—I’m sure it’s going to kill me. That is, if they don’t manage to kill me first.”
“Jill, if there was anything I could do to help you I would, but ...” He trailed off.
“But—?”
“But you’re being kept here not to hurt you but to help you. Seriously. I know how it must look from your point of view, but you have to understand—we’re the good guys. Sure, our methods may be a bit extreme and a lot of the time—hell, most of the time, lately—I don’t agree with Carson and Dr. Gray’s grand plan. But ... they’re trying to do the right thing.”
“Killing vampires.”
“Yeah.”
My stomach twisted. “I’ve seen two vampires who seemed fine and reasonable until they smelled my blood.”
“You’re the Nightshade cover girl now.”
I clenched my hands at my sides, feeling utterly powerless. “I’m going to die.”
“No, you’re not.” Noah paced to the window, glancing at the broken chair laying nearby. I’d already tried to escape only to find that it was impossible to break the glass. He wisely chose not to mention it.
“How do you know that?”
“Because Carson and Dr. Gray won’t let you. You’re too important to their mission.”
“The mission to kill all vampires.”
“No, just the king. Strike at their heart—the decision maker, the big boss. Dr. Gray’s convinced that once he’s taken out of the game, then the rest will be easier to pick off. It’ll be like mopping up a spill after the bottle is corked.” He scrunched his nose. “I’m no good at metaphors.”
“The king.” I thought back to yesterday with the blood servants. “You mean, Matthias?”
“That’s the one.”
“The heart,” I said. “Carson used that term before. He said that this town is close to the heart.”
Noah nodded. “Silver Ridge is only a few miles away from the heart of Matthias’s vampire clan.”
“So all of this is to find a way to assassinate him.”
“Essentially. Or at least that’s the big-ass goal at the top of Dr. Gray’s to-do list. Vampires aren’t easy to kill to begin with, unless you have skills like Declan. Even then it’s difficult. When it comes to the king himself, it’s a whole other ball of wax.” He frowned. “Which is another really substandard metaphor, but I think I’m getting my point across. Ball of wax, though? What does that even mean? Did people actually collect balls of wax at some point in history?”
“And you agree with all of this?”
Noah hesitated. “My beliefs change from day to day. Like right now? I think throwing you in with that vamp was really wrong on too many levels to count.”
“That makes two of us.”
“Dr. Gray thinks what’s in your veins is the only way to defeat Matthias.”
“You’re making it sound like Dr. Gray is in charge around here.”
“She is.”
That surprised me so much I didn’t speak for a moment. “I thought Carson was the boss.”
“He is when she’s not around. She’s been in Washington D.C. for a couple of months, but she definitely thought you were worth the trip. I heard her and Carson talking earlier.”
“What did they say about me?”
He hesitated. “I really shouldn’t say any more.”
Noah was a font of information that I really didn’t want to dry up. Where Declan wasn’t willing to answer any of my questions anymore, Noah seemed ready, willing, and able.
If you asked me, he seemed kind of lonely. Not many people around here who want to chat.
“Come on,” I said, pushing the closest thing I could get to a friendly smile on my face. “I have a right to know, don’t I?”
“I think so.” He rubbed his lips together as he considered the situation. “According to Carson, the reason you’ve been sick and have experienced all that pain is because your body is attempting to reject the formula.”
I shivered. “So what am I supposed to do?”
“Carson’s sent for a drug they’ve been developing that will help—it purifies blood from the inside out. It’s supposed to be a catch-all cure for blood poisoning like this. If that doesn’t work, then the next step would probably be good old-fashioned hemodialysis.”
Finally something I understood. “Why wouldn’t that be the first choice?”
“Because the Nightshade, well, it’s not entirely ... stable.”
“Because it’s based in parachemistry?” I used the term Carson used earlier.
“Bingo. It’s the para part that is messing everything up. What we’re dealing with here is based on preternatural science. A regular doctor wouldn’t know what to do with this, trust me on that.”
At least he was confirming for me what I already knew—a normal hospital wouldn’t be much help to me.
A thousand more questions bubbled up in my mind. “So Nightshade was developed, in all its unstable glory, to kill Matthias. Why now?”
Noah paced the room, his arms tightly crossed over his chest. “Dr. Gray believes Matthias is sick of living underground and is about ready to poke his head up and say hello to the world.”
“And what happens then?”
“Do the words vampire apocalypse mean anything to you?”
That sent a chill down my spine imagining a world gone crazy when what I’d only just discovered yesterday went public. Even if I did get this Nightshade poison out of my body and everything turned out okay, I knew my world had been changed forever.
“And she wants to stop him before that happens.”
“She does. Her research is pointed in that direction.”
“What about that other dhampyr downstairs? How long’s it been here?”
His pleasant expression disappeared
completely, replaced with worry. “Actually, there’s two babies—and one on the way, thanks to Dr. Gray’s other pet project.”
My eyes widened. “That was a baby?”
“Baby dhampyrs are different than human babies. They grow really fast.”
“But Declan—”
“Declan’s different. But the other kind of dhamps—they’re ... unique. She’s trying to figure out what makes one dhamp like Declan and another ... not.”
“A fluke of nature?”
“Maybe. I have a theory, although Dr. Gray never gives me the time of day to hear it.”
“What is it?”
“Vamp women can’t get pregnant; it has to be a human mother. That means the wild card is the father. The dhamp we have locked up was from a regular vamp daddy. So a human mother and a regular vampire father create a monster dhampyr.”
“And Declan?”
“Normal human mother, but his father was no normal vamp. He was powerful. And seriously ancient. More so than your average, run-of-the-mill vampire.”
I eyed him with surprise. “You know who his father is?”
“Of course I do.” Noah nodded grimly. “It’s in the files. Sometimes I read the ones I’m not supposed to read.”
“Who is Declan’s father?”
“The one and only.” Noah shrugged. “Matthias.”
13
MATTHIAS. THE KING.
The vampire that Declan said raped and left his mother in a coma before she died giving birth to him was Matthias.
“Does ... does Declan know this?” I asked. “That Matthias is his father?”
“He does.”
No wonder the mention of his name yesterday with the blood servants seemed to throw him. It made sense now. They worked for the vampire he hated more than any other.
“I have to go,” Noah said, glancing at his watch. “I’ve stayed too long already.” He stood and walked toward the door before looking back at me. “I’ll be back tomorrow with your three squares a day. If you need more trashy novels, just let me know then.”