us Aspirations
By Lynn Daniels
Copyright 2014 Lynn Daniels
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Ubiquitous Aspirations
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Ubiquitous Aspirations
I know a lot of people. Some you could say are my family. Some you can say are my friends. Others are my close acquaintances. I know everything about each and every one of their lives. Sometimes, I wish I did not. Other times, I am glad I know, because I know of things that some people would never share with anyone else. It is a shame that many of them never knew they were always being watched. They told others what they wanted them to know. Now it’s my chance to tell the stories that nobody got to know. Besides, I have all the time in the world to do so.
Oscar was a man with many features and many talents. He was a strong willed man who despised the thought of failure. In his lifetime, he always believed that his greatest failure was his three daughters. He resented them. He never wanted them and he spent years agonizing over the fact that he truly wanted a son. This desire for a male offspring would become an obsession for him.
After the birth of his daughters, and I would know because I am one of those daughters, Oscar took a hands-off approach. He isolated himself in his chambers only emerging if there was a problem that needed to be addressed. After my disappearance, Oscar became even more reclusive. He spent a lot of time writing and plotting. He had big plans for his future and he had even bigger plans for Cerebes, the world he created.
In this modern age, mortals were largely uneducated and they were mostly poor. Many of them used agriculture to support themselves and their families. However, Oscar had grown weary of this way of living. He did not create mortals in which their sole purpose would be to work until they perished. He wanted them to do things. He wanted them to challenge themselves and he wanted them to challenge him. As it stood, the mortals of this time questioned nothing. They were perfectly content with their way of life and they were happy with following the directions of their creators.
The first thing he did was try to establish a sense of time. He realized that mortals only operated according to the sun. He ventured outside and marveled in the differences between day and night. To him he estimated that a day lasted approximately twenty hours where half of that time would be exposed by light and the other half would be immersed in darkness. He also had an obsession with things being symmetrical. He figured that these days should be structured in months and years. He surmised that a month should last about forty days and that there would be ten months in one year.
He was well satisfied with his system, but how could he implement it? There was no way of truly telling how many years had already passed and he felt that while it may be prudent to establish a new beginning, he was unsure of when the appropriate time would be. This is where his obsession for a male heir began. He believed that the day in which his son were to be born would be the day where this beginning could commence. In the meantime, Oscar diligently kept track of every day that passed until this day would come.
He presented his ideas to his colleagues. All of them were in complete agreement with Oscar’s findings, but that could be attributed to the fact that these men chose not to challenge Oscar. It was Oscar who had given them life and it was Oscar who had given them all the ability to become powerful Gods. In a way, these men were his sons. They may not have looked like him, but they were his creations. The unanimous agreement was not something that pleased Oscar.
He lashed out at them and questioned what they were really doing with the abilities that he gave them. He scolded them for being yes-men. Slowly, the men began to foster their own individual thoughts and beliefs. They began to challenge him in their own special way. This made Oscar happy. He wanted this. He wanted to be told that an idea of his could be better or if he was flat out misguided and wrong, even if he himself did not truly believe it was so.
Of course, one must also be careful of what they wish for, and Oscar learned of this right away. The men could not agree on how they would manage to produce a male heir. When they tried the first time using all of their powers, they ended up with three daughters and all three were not the same. Oscar believed that a male heir should be his lone biological progeny. The others did not agree. They questioned if they were not his biological descendants and if they were, then why not choose the leader from one of them.
Oscar dismissed their concerns. To him, they were all equal. He could not possibly choose between them. Besides, none of them could claim they were biologically manifested from him because all of them were mortals with their own biological parents before they became Gods. In short, he saw them as toys, mere objects that he placed slightly more importance over without being connected to them.
Oscar wanted a son. He wanted a son that would look just like him. A child he could witness growing up from a boy into a man. A son who could be taught anything and would one day be the undisputed leader of Cerebes. Everyone would love his son. Everyone would respect his son and his son would be the one to bring the world of the Gods together with the world of the mortals and all would live in perfect harmony.
Years ticked by. Hundreds of years passed and those hundreds turned into thousands. Oscar began to get impatient. The dichotomy of the present was not one in which he envisioned. He felt his colleagues were against him. He felt they no longer trusted him. His living daughters did not trust him either. He was paranoid and began to provoke the mortals to pick fights with each other. He would do this by leaving his compound. He would pretend he was just a simple man of simple means. He would travel and preyed on mortals who did not believe in the existence of Gods.
He would tell them things they could understand. Tell them that mortals who believed in Gods wanted to kill them or imprison them. He would tell them that those people would try to scare them and make them sick and refuse to cure them unless they believed in Gods. He would tell any lie he could make up and then complete it by telling them that the source of the propaganda was the sitting mortal leader of their area. He told them that if the leader were killed, it would be proof that Gods do not exist. Mortal leaders believed that they were directly descended from Gods and they could not perish at the hands of a powerless mortal.
Oscar traveled all over the world doing this and inciting the same sort of mistrust and hate that would spawn wars amongst mortals. He was thoroughly entertained by this. He also knew that it would cause his colleagues to spend much of their time trying to intervene to stop the wars and reestablish faith among the mortals.
One could call this way of thinking demonic. One could possibly believe that Oscar was merely a devil in disguise. But if he were to possess an evil mindset, what compelled him to want the world he created to be good? His boredom drove him to evil, but there appeared to be no explanation as to why he would want to be good.
Oscar struggled with this for his entire life. He came into existence as a mystery. He had no guidance and he grew up lonely with no friends, no family and no home. He was simply a being with a blank slate at his fingertips and the ability to bring his dreams into fruition. Oscar’s world came to be as a series of dreams. Dreams he could not explain and dreams he could only fathom. He was the original Divine Infinite God and everything he did transcended space and time. His dreams kept him grounded and he created Cerebes as a way to keep his dreams from eating him
alive and causing him to go completely insane.
But Oscar never rid himself of his mental illness. He kept telling himself that the things he wanted would keep his wicked thoughts at bay. He tried to make himself believe that these things would make him happy. But he was disturbed and deeply flawed and when the things he wanted didn’t go right, another piece of his sanity perished. His obsession with perfection and his internal conflict with wanting to destroy things continued to evolve.
It eventually got to a point where he no longer wanted to live. He did not share this desire with his colleagues right away. Oscar wanted to die, but he wanted to die knowing that Cerebes would be on a path to perfection. He believed that his hasty, destructive mannerisms would forever cause him to undermine his true desires which would inherently make him unhappy. So he felt that if he had a son, a perfect son raised with love, friendship and a world full of mysteries and wonders, he could explore then he could fulfill his deepest desires. He could fulfill the prophecy that he and his colleagues and fully invested their time and their livelihood to believe in and try to execute. He could die a happy man and his