A few cordial meetings didn’t mean she would change. How many years had it taken him to see the Light and then decide to follow Him?
“Brittany just told me I should check into a treatment center like you went to, but I have to support myself. I don’t have the luxury of taking six months off work.”
She was trying hard to start a fight. Let her take her punches. He wasn’t going to hit back this time.
She looked at him. “Jack suggested I come to your Bible study. I told him I’d already asked if you’d mind if I sat in on it. Brittany wasn’t too keen on the idea.”
“She’s talking to you again. That’s good.”
“Every word out of her mouth is a barb.”
He smiled at that. Like mother, like daughter.
She slipped her arms into her jacket. “I had a good time today, Stephen, despite everything that’s happened. Largely because you introduced me to your friends.”
“What’d you expect me to do? Leave you out in the cold?”
“I’ve felt like I was out in the cold most of my life. Just when I think I know the rules of the game, the players change. I’m tired of trying.” She shrugged. “Anyway. Thanks for the invitation. I enjoyed the day, despite our daughter’s attempt to slay me with that remark about the crack house. It wasn’t true, was it?”
“You’ll have to talk to her about it.”
“I don’t think I want to know. At least she came back this afternoon. Largely because of you, I’m sure.”
“Don’t forget Jack.”
“How could I forget Jack?” She glanced back. “Where on earth did you find him?”
“He used to come by and see how the work was going.”
“Brittany said he’s a craftsman.”
“He’s a carpenter. Actually, he’s a talented artist. He’s putting together a mural with bits and pieces of scrap lumber, everything from pine to mahogany. Pretty remarkable. He calls it therapy. Keeps his mind occupied and his hands busy.”
“What does he plan to do with it when he’s finished?”
“I haven’t got a clue.”
“If it’s any good, I might be interested.”
“I thought your taste ran to original oils.”
She gave him one of her looks. “Since I no longer have a rich husband, and not enough alimony to keep my head above water, let alone purchase art, I’m working again. For an interior decorator. High-end. She likes unusual pieces.”
“You landed on your feet.”
“Kats always do.” She took her keys out of her purse and pressed the remote to unlock her car.
Brittany came over and stood next to him as Kathryn headed down the main street of Rockville. “She’s a royal pain.”
“So are you, Brit. So am I, for that matter.”
“After all these years, it’s strange hearing you defend her.”
He smiled down at her. “Where’s Jack?”
“He went home. He said he was tired of listening to me whine about my mother’s faults.”
“Do you want a ride the six blocks home, or would you rather walk?” Stephen knew better than to take anything for granted.
“I’d like a ride, if you promise not to lecture.”
“Wouldn’t think of it.”
Eunice had a bad night. Exhausted, she slept two solid hours and then awakened from a bad dream at three in the morning. What day was it? Thursday? She slept fitfully, awakening at every little sound in the condo complex. She could hear the freeway noise from six blocks away. A low roar of an ocean of cars. A tide of traffic to and fro. Never ending. Where were all those people going in the wee hours of the morning? She was lulled back to sleep for a while, but she awakened again, the digital clock glowing 4:00.
What should she do about Timothy? Should she call him and let him know she was in town for a few days? or a few weeks? One look at her and he would know something was wrong. She’d never been good at hiding things. Should she tell him the truth about his father? Mending had begun between them. What would happen to their relationship now? She could stay a few days without letting Timothy know. But she would have to leave soon. Where would she go? She couldn’t bear the thought of going back to Paul and listening to his excuses, or being told again she was to blame. She wondered what he was doing right now. Rob Atherton was in Florida. Paul and Sheila were both free to do whatever they pleased with their spouses out of town.
She wept into her pillow. She felt as though he had ripped her heart out and stomped on it. She hated him, but she loved him, too. How was that possible? Could she go back and forget what happened for the sake of their marriage? Assuming he sincerely wanted to rebuild. Or was he merely worried about his position? She was afraid she knew the truth—that all he cared about was what other people would say and what could happen to his position in the church. But if she returned, what could she expect from him in the future but more betrayal? How could she ever trust him again? Every time he went out the door, she would wonder where he was going and if the meeting was just a pretense to have another clandestine affair. If Sheila moved away, other beautiful, needy women would come to their pastor and fancy themselves in love with him. She needed me. If he was deaf, blind, and dumb about his sins now, what would stop him from falling into sin later?
At six, she gave up trying to sleep. She felt as though her head were full of cotton. Thinking a cup of tea might help, she put on the robe Lois had loaned her. Lois was talking to someone in the kitchen. Eunice’s heart began to pound. Had Timothy come home? What could she say to him? What was Lois saying?
“She knocked on my door a little after midnight. Yes. I know all about it. Oh, what a mess! Of course, I’m disappointed in you.” A long silence, then Lois’s weary voice. “No. I don’t think she’s said anything to anyone else. I told her she could stay with me as long as she feels she needs to stay.” Another pause, and then Lois’s anger. “Yes. Yes. I know it makes things difficult for you. You should’ve thought about that before you started having an affair with . . . ” Teary. “Have you stopped to think about how difficult you’ve made it for your wife? You should come down here . . . ” A harsh breath. “Oh, don’t use that excuse.” A pause. “You could tell everyone there’s been a family emergency.” Silence. “Yes, she needs time to calm down.” Silence. “Tonight would be better. Monday may be too late.” Another sigh. “You know exactly what I mean. Don’t pretend you don’t. Well, of course, I’ll do everything I can.” Tear-choked. “I always have. I love you both. I can’t believe you let this happen. I never thought you, of all people, would do such a thing. I know. I know. These things happen all the time.”
Eunice stood in the doorway. Her mother-in-law glanced up, blushed to the roots of her gray hair. She turned away and dropped her voice. “I’ve got to hang up now. You know what you should do. I hope you’ll do it.” She hung up and stood. “Good morning, honey. I hope you slept well last night. Would you like some tea? I have Earl Grey. You like that, don’t you?” Her smile was forced.
“Was that Paul?” Her anger wasn’t cold anymore; it was raging hot. She had never felt such wrath before. It came up inside her like hot lava.
Lois turned the stove knob until it clicked and a flame came on. “Yes.”
“I didn’t hear the phone ring.”
“I thought he should know you arrived safely.”
“Did it occur to you that he should worry? That he should think about someone besides himself for a change? I didn’t want him to know where I was! I wanted a safe place to think.”
Lois looked crestfallen. “I’m sorry, Eunice. I was trying to help. You weren’t yourself last night. You looked ready for a nervous breakdown.”
“You’re probably right, but I have good reason, don’t you think?”
“There’s no good reason for leaving Paul in the dark about your well-being. That’s cruel and unchristian, and not at all like you.”
“No. It’s not like me. It’s more like me to let him walk all over me aga
in!”
“He’s not. He’s sorry. We’re to love one another the way Jesus loved us. And Paul was worried sick. I thought—”
“I heard how worried he was.” Eunice gave a bleak laugh. “He’s scared to death at what might happen if word gets out in his church. That’s what he’s most concerned about. Himself. ‘Tonight would be better,’ you said. ‘Monday might be too late.’ What did you mean by that, Lois?”
Lois looked down at the table. “He’s going to have one of the associates cover for him so that he can come down here. The two of you can talk things over, straighten things out.”
Eunice could feel the tears mounting again. “I can’t even trust you, can I?”
Lois looked up, crying. “How can you say that to me? Of course you can trust me. I’m trying to do what’s best for both of you.”
“The same way you’ve been trying to do what’s best for years. By covering up! By pretending everything is fine. By looking the other way and hoping the problem will evaporate. Isn’t that the truth, Lois? How many times did Paul’s father cheat on you?”
Her eyes filled with hurt. “That’s none of your business.”
“I don’t care if you think it’s my business or not. It was his pattern, wasn’t it? To lie and cheat? And you allowed yourself to be drawn into it. And now, here’s Paul, following in his father’s footsteps. The father’s sins are being visited upon the son because we sweep everything under the carpet and pretend everything is fine when it’s not! God forbid that anyone should find out a pastor is weak. God forbid anyone should know he’s fallible. Isn’t that the truth? How many times, Lois? How many times did you cover up for David Hudson?”
“You have no right—”
“And you did it all in the name of love. You convinced yourself of that. Did you ever tell Paul the truth about why his father retired so unexpectedly?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“How could I? It would have destroyed David in Paul’s eyes.”
“So you allowed Paul to go on thinking his father was perfect, his father was a man to be emulated. You helped him make an idol of David Hudson.” And she had helped Lois do it.
“I never said David was perfect. Paul knew—”
“Paul forgot. If he ever knew anything, he learned sin didn’t matter if the man was powerful enough to keep his family quiet.”
Lois paled. “You’re not being fair. I tried to train up Paul in the way he should go, without turning him against his father.”
“You brought him up with a mixed message, Lois. But God doesn’t compromise. What about discipline? What about accountability? David Hudson never experienced any of that.”
“I did what I thought was right!”
“You did what your husband told you to do, even when it was wrong! You did what was easiest. You were in anguish when you came to Centerville and told me about the retirement banquet. And now I know why. Misdeeds, you said yesterday. It wasn’t the first time your husband was unfaithful to you. It was just the last time while he was serving in his church.” She dashed tears from her cheek. “You told me part of the truth and then swore me to secrecy. You made me a part of your sin.”
“No.”
“I should’ve taken it as a warning. I’m as much to blame as you. I’ve had those stirrings inside me. The Holy Spirit has been trying to tell me something has been wrong for a long time, and I’ve ignored that quiet voice the same way you have. Did you tell me about David so that I could see what Paul was becoming?”
“Paul isn’t like his father.”
“Why else would you burden me with the truth about your marriage?”
Lois wept harshly. “Paul isn’t like David.”
“Oh yes, he is. Like father, like son!”
“He’s repentant.”
“He’s not repentant, Lois. He’s remorseful. He’s sorry he was caught. And now, he’s scared to death everything he’s built for himself will come tumbling down. If he were repentant, his first thought wouldn’t have been to rush back to the church for his meeting with Marvin Lockford! He would’ve been on his knees begging for forgiveness.” And his mother wouldn’t have had to pressure him into coming down right away instead of putting off his trip until Monday.
“Is that what you want, Eunice? For Paul to be on his knees? Crushed and destroyed? Publicly humiliated? His church in ashes?”
Yes! Eunice wanted to scream. Where better to be than on his knees before God? Hadn’t Jesus been publicly humiliated? And He had been innocent. He had been pure and holy. If the Lord could humble Himself to such a degree before all mankind, couldn’t one man humble himself before almighty God? The Lord had knowingly taken every sin ever committed, ever to be committed, upon Himself. No one but God could turn Paul’s life around. No one but God could heal the wounds Paul had inflicted. And no one but the Lord could change the course of what Paul had set in motion!
Oh, Lord of mercy and strength, I am powerless.
A calm settled over Eunice. The eye of the storm. “There’s no talking to you, Lois. You’re as big a liar as David Hudson ever was.” She saw the shock come into Lois’s face. Eunice walked out of the kitchen.
I can’t stay here, Lord. Where do I go? What am I to do now?
She went into the bedroom and closed the door. She quickly changed into her clothes, made the bed, folded up the nightgown and robe, and went out into the living room. She picked up her purse.
Lois stood in the doorway to the kitchen, face pale, tears streaming down her cheeks. Eunice was filled with compassion. Maybe her mother-in-law’s eyes were finally open, too. “I love you, Lois. I always have. I always will. But I don’t intend to follow your example. Not anymore.”
“Where will you go?”
It came to Eunice in that instant where she needed to go. “Home.”
The tension wilted from Lois. “Thank God. Do you want me to call Paul and tell him you’re on your way?”
“Centerville isn’t my home.” She opened the door and walked out.
CHAPTER 19
STEPHEN COULDN’T get away from the idea of starting another church. Was he holding back because of the disillusionment in building VNLC and missing the needs of those now coming to his Bible study? He prayed that if the Lord was calling him to ministry, He would make his motives pure. Stephen didn’t want a competition with Paul Hudson. To make sure, Stephen went to the one man he knew he could trust to be completely honest with him—and back up his views with Scripture.
“Mr. Mason is in the courtyard, Mr. Decker,” the receptionist said.
And, as he often did, Samuel had company. Florence Nightingale was sitting with him in the shade of a canvas umbrella. Stephen knew the moment she spotted him. She stiffened, leaned forward, said something to Samuel, picked up her purse, and rose. She pushed the lawn chair back into place at the round glass table and stepped back.
“Don’t leave on my account.”
She always bolted when he came within twenty feet of her, no doubt due to the embarrassment he’d caused her when Eunice had tried to set them up. How long ago had that been?
“I didn’t know you were coming today.”
“I’m sure you didn’t.”
Samuel looked up. “You haven’t even finished your tea, Karen.”
“I’m sorry, Samuel. I’ll stay longer next time.”
“I’m sure Stephen wouldn’t mind if you—”
“I wouldn’t at all.” How much of a jerk had he been that day to put this good woman to flight every time she spotted him? “Are you still heading up the singles club at VNLC?”
“I haven’t attended VNLC in over a year.”
Oops. “Really?” He raised his brows. “Any particular reason why not?”
“None that I should discuss with you.”
“That answer makes me want to ask more questions.”
“Not my intention, I assure you.”
He was getting nowhere fast in his attempt to make amends.
Maybe the direct approach would work better. “Look, Karen, I know I was a jerk that day at the hospital. I’m sorry. Can we call a truce?”
She blushed. “I just don’t want any misunderstandings between us.”
That she was not trying to get his attention. Oh yeah, he got the point. “There were no misunderstandings the first time we met. My reaction had nothing to do with you.”
She looked him squarely in the eyes. “I know that.”
He could see she did and felt the heat rush into his face. “That obvious, huh?”
“Not obvious enough to cause anyone worry.”
A careful answer much appreciated. But it left him wondering how many other people at VNLC had noticed his attraction to Pastor Paul’s wife. When Karen edged back another step, he drew her chair back and gestured for her to sit. “If I ask nicely, will you finish your tea? I growl, but I don’t bite.”
She relaxed with a soft laugh. “All right. I’ll risk it this time.” Shrugging the purse strap off her shoulder, she took her seat again.
“Karen’s attending a big church in Sacramento now.” Samuel sipped his tea. “She enjoys the services, but isn’t sure she wants to continue going there.”
Stephen looked at her. “Trouble with the preaching?”
“No. The pastor is right on base with the gospel, but it’s too far a drive for me to be any real part of the church. The singles club meets on Tuesday evenings, the choir on Thursdays. I tried both a few times and didn’t get home until after ten. I don’t like to be out that late at night by myself, and no one else comes from my area.”
“Where’s your area?”
When she seemed reticent to answer, Samuel did so for her. “Your neck of the woods.”
“You live in Rockville?”
Karen’s expression was pained. “Not in Rockville, but a mile north on Gelson Road. I put an offer in on a small place about six years ago, and I’ve been there ever since.”
Six years. She was still making sure he understood she wasn’t chasing him. She must think him the most conceited man on the face of the earth. “I’ma newcomer to the town.” He wanted to make sure she knew he understood. She had a nice smile. “I’ll ask you the same question everyone asks me. Why Rockville?”