Chapter 18
Sometime during our hike it starts to rain. The cold drops sting my eyes and make it nearly impossible to see. We continue to climb steadily uphill, the mud making our path slippery. More than once Flynn has to grab my arm to keep me from falling. Within a few hours we finally make it to the top of the hill and the path levels out. I gasp; from here you can see the entire island as well as the surrounding ocean.
I turn in the direction of Innocents and my thoughts turn toward Sera and Livi. By now, they must have given up any hope of me coming back. They probably have already said goodbye and are trying to move on. I wish I could tell them that I’m alive, but even if everything goes as planned, I will never see them again. When I return to Innocents, it will be to escape with Flynn. It is what I want, but the thought is still bittersweet. Flynn notices me looking toward Innocents. “What was your life like there?” He asks.
I resume walking, “Some days it was fine, pleasant even, others it was unbearable. They have everything down to a science, designed to keep you from wanting out but never enough to make you truly happy. Everything is governed by strict rules and no one sees you as a person, you are only a number. But it was really the only life I ever knew and I was content living it.”
Flynn looks at me sadly, “Will you miss anyone?”
I sigh, “Yes, I will miss almost everyone, my friends, my peers, my guards instructor.”
“Tell me about your friends,” Flynn insists.
I picture Sera’s face, “One of my friends, Sera, is probably the funniest person I know. She always knows what to say to someone and she can make you laugh no matter what. Her confidence is almost contagious. My other friend, Livi is shy and quiet and sweet. She believes in ideals that don’t exist and thinks that there is no wrong in the world. Usually living on Innocents crushes that, but she found a way to hang on to it.”
Pretty soon I start describing almost everyone I knew on Innocents, explaining their strengths and their quirks. Flynn seems fascinated by this world that is so entirely different from his own and I talk until the sun is low in the sky and it is time to stop for the night.
By the time we stop, I am dead on my feet. I feel like I could lie down and sleep for years. However, Flynn insists on practicing my fighting. At first, I can barely summon the energy to raise my arm and accept the wooden knife from Flynn, but as my fingers close around the hilt, adrenalin courses through me giving me new energy.
Flynn and I circle each other. I can see Flynn analyzing me, predicting my every movement and determining the best way to defeat me. Without thinking, I make the first move, leaping into action and allowing my instincts to take over. I feign as if I am going to strike at his heart, but at the last minute I drop to my knees and slash at his leg before rolling to my feet. In a real fight, the cut would be little more than a flesh wound, but this is the first time I managed to mark Flynn and I feel a sense of pride in the achievement. Flynn retaliates with a series of quick slashes. I jump back and evade the first and deflect the second off my blade. The third catches me in the arm but I ignore it, the fight is not over yet. My knife manages to touch him two more times, once in the hand, the other along his side. I notice that his guard arm has dropped slightly, leaving his heart undefended and I see my opening to end the fight. But as I swing my arm towards my target, Flynn neatly sidesteps and I realize it was a ploy, he purposefully dropped his arm to bait me into action. Before I can pull back, Flynn knocks the knife out of my hand, his own knife already at my throat. Both of us are breathing hard and Flynn has a look of pride in his eyes.
“That is one of the most difficult fights I have ever been in.” He says in awe, “If you had proper training before, Marek himself would be under your control.” I blush, pleased with his praise. Though I am less pleased when he demands we go again. The knife is getting heavy in my hand and my arms feel like lead, but I steel myself and face Flynn. This fight is more intense than the last. Flynn fights with cool calculation; each thrust accomplishes a specific purpose, while I rely on spontaneity and impulse. Our two techniques clash and the minutes drag on, neither of us able to land the winning blow. Finally, Flynn manages to breach my defenses and land a strike to the heart. Utterly spent, I fall to the ground, pulling Flynn down with me. He lands on top of me and stares down into my eyes.
“You’re amazing Brie,” he softly says and I pull him down for a deep kiss. His kisses travel down my jaw and onto my neck. I moan softly and my lips find his again. Finally we separate. Flynn cups my face with his hand, “I think I love you,” he says, his voice raw with emotion.
I set my hand on his, “I think I might love you too.”
The next day dawns cold and grey. Today we are leaving the relative safety of No Man’s Land and entering into the territory of the Astut clan. Despite the perilous journey that still lies ahead, I am feeling giddy about Flynn’s revelation last night, and yet another part of me is terrified by it. The concept of being loved is one that is strangely foreign to me. Sure, my parents must have loved me once, but somewhere in the twelve years I spent on Innocents, those memories faded into non-existence. On Innocents, dating was discouraged until after your Occupational Test, and unlike Sera, I was never one to sneak out of my room at night to meet guys. I preferred to spend my time training, never allowing anyone to get too close to me. But now Flynn has chipped away at the wall surrounding my heart and planted himself firmly inside it. These new emotions almost scare me more than fighting my way through Murderers. Almost.
Flynn wraps his arm around my waist, “Where’d you go just now?” He asks, bringing me back to the present. I blush slightly, “Thinking,” I reply.
“About us?” He whispers, his breathe tickling my ear.
“Always,” I reply, and Flynn sneaks in a quick kiss on the corner of my mouth before I pull away, remembering that we are in the middle of Murderers with the possibility of being attacked at any moment. Soon we’ll be free, I think as we continue on, free from this constant fear, the not knowing what terrors are in store for us and whether or not we will survive the next curve ball that life throws at us.