CHAPTER XVII
THE WEDDING MORNING
It was very dark and draughty in the church. Maud was shivering fromhead to foot. Her heart felt as if it were encased in ice. Now andthen it beat a little, feebly, as if trying to break free, but the awfulcold was too much for it. She did not know how to keep her teeth fromchattering. Her hands lay in her lap, numbed and nerveless. Shewondered if she would ever manage to walk as far as the dimly lit altarwhere Jake would be awaiting her.
It was evidently draughty there also. The candles flickered fitfully.Uncle Edward was eyeing the candles with obvious disapproval. She hopedhe would manage to suppress it at close quarters. She was sure shewould have to laugh if he didn't, and laughter, she felt, would befatal.
How different this from the wedding-day which once she had dared topicture for herself! It was like a mocking fantasy, a dreadful travestyof that which might have been. Like an arc of prismatic colours it hungbefore her--the vision of that other wedding--the wedding of her dreams;the sunshine and the laughter and the flowers! The shining altar, thewaiting bridegroom, his flashing smile of welcome! She saw it all--shesaw it all!
How dear he had been to her! How, unutterably dear! And she rememberedhow in those far-off days he had always called her his Queen Rose.
Her heart gave a swift throb that was anguish. She stood up with aquick, involuntary movement. She had not dreamed that this long-pasttrouble possessed the power to hurt her so. She cast a desperate glancearound her. This waiting in the cold and the dark had becomeintolerable. A wild impulse to flee--to flee--was upon her. The doorwas quite near. She turned towards it.
But in that moment Uncle Edward cleared his throat and rose.
"Here comes your precious bridegroom!" he said. "I suppose they'reready at last. We had better get moving."
And then it was that Maud's knees abruptly refused to support her, andshe sank down again white and powerless on the chair by the door.
Jake's sturdy figure was coming down the aisle. She watched it witheyes that were wide and fixed.
He came straight to her, bent over her. "I'm real sorry you've beenkept waiting," he said, in his womanly drawl. "It's the parson's doing.He forgot all about us. And there was no fire either. I had to forcethe door of the stoke shed to light it."
He bent a little lower over her, and suddenly she felt his hand againstthe icy cold of her cheek. She started back from it.
"Jake, I--can't come yet. I'm so cold." Stiffly her pale lipswhispered the words; her whole body seemed bound in a very rigour ofcold. And through it all she still thought she could hear phantomechoes of that other wedding that once had seemed so near.
"Where is your mother?" said Jake.
There was a hint of sternness in the question. Uncle Edward answeredit.
"I'm expecting them every minute. I drove up first to fetch Maud. Lucyis a hopeless fool. She's never in time for anything."
Even as he spoke, there came the rush of wheels on the hard road outsideand the hoot of a motor horn.
The sound as it reached Maud, seemed to galvanize her into suddenenergy. She rose, white to the lips but resolute. "I am ready," shesaid.
Jake gave her a straight, hard look, and turned without another word.He went back up the aisle, square, purposeful, steady, and took up hisstand by the waiting clergyman.
Maud's hand pressed her uncle's arm with urgency. "Let us go! Let usgo!" she said. "I can see my mother--afterwards."
The old man also gave her a shrewd glance, but he also said no word.Only as he stumped up the aisle beside her, he took the girlish handupon his arm and held it hard in his gnarled fingers.
They had reached the chancel steps where the clergyman awaited them erethe opening of the door and the sound of fluttering feet announced thearrival of Maud's mother. A heavier tread and a man's loud whisper andbarely muffled laugh testified to the presence of Giles Sheppard also.
Uncle Edward cleared his throat ferociously, releasing Maud's hand witha mighty squeeze as Jake came to her side. Then he turned withdeliberation and scowled upon the advancing couple.
Maud did not turn. Her face was white and still as the face of a marblestatue. Her eyes stared blankly at the flickering candles on the altar.Had Jake lighted those candles, she wondered, as well as the fire in thestoke shed?
She heard her mother's step behind her, but still she did not move; andafter the briefest pause the clergyman began to read the service.
It was all horribly unreal. The only thing of which she was vividly andpoignantly conscious was the cold. She heard Jake's voice beside her,very calm and steady, and when her turn came she spoke with equalsteadiness, for somehow she seemed to be imbued with his strength. Butshe was too frozen, too ice-bound, to feel any meaning in the words sheuttered. She spoke them like an automaton, through lips that wouldscarcely move.
Jake's hand, warm and purposeful, holding her own, sent a faint, faintglow through her; but it did not reach her heart. She thought it hadceased to beat long ago, and she wondered how soon he would realize thathe was wedded to a dead woman, what he would say when he knew. For Jakewas so essentially full-blooded, so burningly alive. He was the mostvirile person she had ever met. Standing there by his side, she couldfeel the warmth of him. She thought it was that alone that kept herfrom turning into a solid block of ice.
When she knelt, his hand came under her elbow and supported her; whenshe rose, it lifted her. When the dreadful nightmare service was overat last, his arm was round her, and by its aid alone she stumbledstiffly to the vestry.
The young curate who had married them looked at her with nervoussolicitude. He had been recently married himself, and he had apainfully vivid memory of the agonies thereof.
He set a chair for her, and Jake put her down into it. Then he stood upand took command of the situation.
"Get a glass from somewhere!" he said to the curate. "And you, sir," heturned upon Uncle Edward, "don't let that man come in here! Her mothercan if she likes, but I won't have anyone else."
He stooped over Maud, looking closely into her deathlike face. He tookher frozen hands and held them up to his lips, breathing on them.
Her great eyes gazed up at him in mute apology. She felt he had begunto find out.
"It's all right, my girl," he said in answer, "all right."
And then her mother came to her, and surprised Maud at least by foldingher close in her arms and fondly kissing her poor numbed lips.
"Why, Maudie, darling," she murmured to her tenderly as though she werea child again, "what is it, dearie? What is it?"
The words, the embrace, moved Maud, piercing straight to her frozenheart. She turned with a passionate, inarticulate sound and hid herface on her mother's breast.
"My precious! My own girlie!" said Mrs. Sheppard; and gathered hercloser still.
There followed a brief, brief interval of peace while she rested in thesheltering arms that had not held her since her babyhood. Then sheheard Jake's voice close to her bowed head.
"Maud, I want you to drink this."
She stirred uneasily, and was aware of her mother's tears dropping onher face.
Then again came Jake's voice, quite courteous but extremely decided. "Iam afraid I must trouble you, Mrs. Sheppard. She is half-dead withcold."
Mrs. Sheppard gave a little sob and relaxed her hold. "Maud--my darling,here is some brandy and water. Will you try and drink it? Mother willhold the glass."
But it was Jake's hand that held it, guiding it steadily to the cold,blue lips; and it was in response to his insistence, and not of her ownvolition at all, that Maud drank the fiery mixture he had prepared.
She shuddered over it, but it revived her almost immediately. She feltthe blood begin to stir in her veins, her heart begin to beat.
"That's right," said Jake, and she saw his smile for the first time thatwintry morning and felt the better for it. "Now, sit qui
et for a minuteor two till you feel well enough to sign the register! Mrs. Sheppard, Ithink your husband wants to speak to you."
"Oh, dear!" sobbed Mrs. Sheppard. "He's always wanting something."
Maud gently released herself. "You had better go to him, Mother, dear.You can bring him in if you like. I am quite all right now."
Her eyes met Jake's as her mother tearfully departed. Something like aglance of intimacy passed between them. She held out her hand to him,and he took it and held it, so that some of his abundant strength seemedto communicate itself to her.
"I don't want your mother to upset you," he said.
She dismissed the notion with a smile. "I am quite ready to sign now.Let us get it over, shall we? I want to go back to Bunny."
His hand relinquished hers. He turned to the table. "The sooner thebetter," he said, in a tone of cool deliberation.