“I believe you lost this,” she said in her thick drawl. Her wide eyes glanced to Declan, and then she pointed to his shirt on my body. “And I believe you lost that, son.”
“Mom,” Declan said in greeting from where he stood a few feet away from her. “I wasn’t expecting to see you today . . . also wasn’t expecting you to just walk in.”
“Now, is that any way to talk to the woman who spent thirty-seven hours birthing you?” Linda took in a steadying breath as her eyes bounced between the two of us. “I wanted to see what you did with your new place, as any mother would. So why doesn’t someone get me a glass of sweet tea before you start showin’ me around, and we’re gonna pretend like the last few minutes didn’t happen.” But I could tell from the narrowing of her eyes that she wouldn’t forget about what she’d walked in on, what she’d heard—just as we wouldn’t.
“I’ll get it,” I murmured, and hurried into the kitchen to start brewing the tea.
I let loose a shaky breath once I was standing at the counter with my back to both of them, and thanked God for those few minutes to gather myself and clear my mind without Declan or Linda watching me.
Emotions flooded me, threatening to overwhelm me and making it nearly impossible to keep them from my face.
The humiliation of Linda hearing something she shouldn’t have was nothing. Nothing compared to the betrayal that sat low and heavy, and burned white hot in my chest. Because for a second while Declan had devoured me, it had been there. . . .
The feel of buzzed hair beneath my fingertips.
Eyes so dark they looked black.
A wicked smirk.
Hard and soft.
Ten months after only one night with him, and he still managed to invade my mind. My hands shook as I pulled down a few glasses that I’d unpacked not long before, and guilt ate at me as I forced all thoughts of him away.
Present Day
“Rorie!”
I jerked away from the fingers snapping in my face and looked at my best friend. “Yeah?”
“You just completely zoned out . . . again.” Taylor’s tone was full of worry, and I hated hearing it. “Do you want to call it for today?”
I looked around at the mass amounts of construction paper, paint, glitter, and letter and number cutouts piled around the living room, and tried to bring myself out of the past and back to the present of prepping for my new kindergarten class. “No, no. Sorry, I must have been daydreaming.”
“Or just dreaming,” she countered teasingly.
“Not. Anyway, thank you for helping me with this. I’m so behind in getting everything ready for my class. I still can’t believe school is starting a week from tomorrow.”
She waved off my thanks. “That’s what best friends are for. Besides, your life is just . . . it’s just chaotic right now with everything, and Declan’s mom . . .” She trailed off at the mention of Linda, and I groaned. “I’m surprised you have time for anything that doesn’t include trying to stay sane.”
My mouth curved up in a smile. “That’s why I have books. I don’t have to try to stay sane; they keep me that way.”
Taylor straightened and pointed around the living room of my apartment. “Oh sweet girl, bless your heart,” she drawled, imitating Linda. “You just can’t go around decorating with your books instead of putting them on shelves.”
I huffed a soft laugh and stopped working on the sign to defend myself. “I didn’t have money for the shelves I wanted, and I liked the way they looked!”
“Oh sweet girl,” Taylor continued, and then dropped her voice down to a whisper. “Did you know that this furniture doesn’t match? Maybe you should let me pick out some new furniture for the apartment.”
That time I laughed louder. Linda had always been exceedingly opinionated, whether it was about how much time Declan and I spent together, how fast we moved in with each other, the way I decorated, or the way I dressed . . . she had something to say about it. But that was just how Linda was. She had too many opinions about everyone’s lives, and she had no problem saying them.
It had become irritating extremely fast, made more so because of the fact that I took every opinion to heart and usually sided with her since I had wanted my boyfriend’s mother to like me.
“Only you, Taylor,” I said with a laugh. “Only you could make me laugh right now.”
“I’ll never stop making you laugh. Speaking of Lovely Linda, don’t you have—”
A timer went off in the kitchen, and I whipped my head around to look in that direction.
“—family dinner soon?” Taylor finished, and pointed toward the kitchen. “Good thing you remembered that.”
“Oh crap!” I dropped the brush I was holding and scrambled to find my phone. “Crap, crap, crap. Linda’s going to kill me,” I said as I hurried to get up and ran to the kitchen. “Just leave it all here, I’ll work on it when I get back.”
“Why is she going to kill you? You remembered to bake her . . .” She trailed off, and eventually gave up trying to remember the name of the dish. “Whatever thing.”
“Yes, but I’m covered in glitter and paint, and I don’t have time to shower.”
Like it was nothing at all, like this wasn’t a family dinner and this wasn’t Linda we were talking about, Taylor said, “Just tell her you were working a pole or something. I’m sure she’ll understand.”
My face fell as I stared at her from across the rooms. “When you say things like that, it makes me question why we’re best friends.”
“Don’t hate me because you don’t share my genius way of thinking.” She shouldered her bag as she headed toward the front door. “Call me if you aren’t hanging out with Declan and need help this week.”
“Love you.”
“Back!” she called out just before she left.
Thirty minutes later I was walking through the doorway into the kitchen to meet up with Declan and his family, and my hands were shaking from holding the dessert that I had made so tightly.
My parents and I had always been casual, not superclose, but not distant, either. We were just . . . there. Declan’s family was always in each other’s lives and had Sunday night family dinners—something that was important to Declan, so it was important to me. Which had been the huge deciding factor in living here instead of Raleigh.
The family dinners, for the most part, had always gone as expected. With Linda in the kitchen for hours upon hours, cooking enough to feed an army . . .
This time, however, was different.
Because this time I had a dessert. A dessert Linda had given me the recipe for. A dessert that I’d made three days in a row before today, trying to perfect it.
She’d handed me the recipe when she’d randomly stopped by earlier that week, and said, “It’s time you start learning how to take care of my son. This is an old family recipe, and is very important to the Veil family. If you want to be a part of that family, you best learn how to make this. I’ll be expecting it on Sunday.”
I’d learned.
And now I was guarding it as if it were the most precious thing in the world. As if the dish in my hands were worth millions of dollars, and if I dropped it my world would end. And with Linda expecting the dessert, it just might.
I accepted a hug from Declan’s two older sisters, Holly and Lara, smiled at their husbands as they helped Linda set the food out in the massive kitchen, and murmured a quick hello when Declan’s dad kissed my cheek on his way out of the kitchen to answer his phone.
“Where can I put this, Linda?” I asked as I checked the full counters.
Linda looked at my dessert-filled hands and raised an eyebrow. “Well, what is it, darling girl?”
“It’s . . . it’s the white chocolate bread pudding.”
“Is that what that awful smell is?” she said with a laugh, and looked over at her daughters and their husbands. They didn’t laugh with her. Her wide eyes fell to the dish in my hands again, and she sighed dramatically. “Well, just
set it anywhere. Let’s see it.”
I swallowed past the thickness in my throat, and looked around for a moment before finding a space to set it down. I didn’t breathe as she lifted the lid and eyed the dessert like it was going to jump out and eat her.
“Good God,” she drawled, then walked away to grab a spoon. When she came back, she moved the spoon through the dessert as if she were dissecting it, and then finally took a bite. After a moment she made a gagging sound and hurried to a trash can.
My jaw was locked tight by the time she’d spit it out.
I’d never been an angry person, but Linda had been pulling it out of me as she’d slowly shown me over the last weeks what it was like to truly despise someone . . . as she’d gone from my boyfriend’s too-opinionated mom, to the woman who loathed me with every fiber of her being.
The thought of her stressed me out until I had a headache. Talking about her frustrated me to no end, and usually left me shaking. Being in her presence had me in a constant state of fake smiles, clenched teeth, and hot blood pounding through my veins.
I hated who she was turning me into, and I wanted to hate her. Instead I felt sorry for all the reasons that led to her feeling like she needed to do this to me.
“Rorie, what are we going to do with you? Bless your heart, you don’t even know how to bake. Sweet girl, that looked alien.” Linda tossed the used spoon on the counter and walked over to grab a casserole dish from the other side of the kitchen. “Well, it’s a good thing I was prepared.” She placed hers beside mine, and opened it with a wide smile directed at me, and then the other people in the kitchen.
Of course she had made the dessert, too. Of course. Because it couldn’t be that easy with Linda, to just do what she asked. No, I had to go through some form of embarrassment or harassment first. I felt stupid for even trying, and wanted to go scream and vent to Declan. Instead, I simply nodded as I looked at the nearly identical dishes. The only difference was mine had taken a spoon to it.
“We’ll just put this poor thing out of its misery,” she mumbled as she grabbed my dish and walked over to the trash. “You know, Madeline can whip up an amazing bread pudding.”
I rolled my eyes at the mention of Declan’s beloved ex-girlfriend.
I’d heard her name in passing over the months when Declan and I first started dating, but I now couldn’t go a day without being reminded about how perfect Linda thought she was.
“Mom,” Holly, Declan’s oldest sister, began. Her tone was full of frustration, but she didn’t finish as we all watched the dessert slide out of the dish and into the trash.
Declan’s dad, Kurt, walked back in then. “What are we all standing around for? Let’s eat, I’m starved!”
In what looked like an accident, but I knew wasn’t, Linda dropped the dish into the trash on top of the dessert, and clapped her hands as she stepped away. “Yes, let’s! Food is ready and getting cold. Everyone grab a plate.”
I glanced up and caught Declan’s sisters watching me. Both wore matching worried expressions, and Holly mouthed that she was sorry. I smiled at them and tried to shake off the horrible feeling Linda always left me with.
Once everyone was serving themselves, I looked over at Declan’s plate sitting there untouched. I wondered if I was thankful or upset that he hadn’t been there to witness his mom’s hatefulness before my thoughts drifted.
Where are you, Dec?
3
One Month Ago
Aurora
“Tell me again why I agreed to this?” Taylor grumbled from where she was lying on the floor of a rented beach house a few weeks after Declan and I had moved into our apartment.
I only paused long enough to shoot her an annoyed glance before continuing cleaning. I was trying to make the rental house where we would be spending the weekend with Declan and his brother, Jentry, look perfect.
Dec was currently on his way back from picking Jentry up at Camp Lejeune, and then we were meeting them for dinner before coming back here. And I had found out about thirty minutes before that Declan’s parents had decided they were coming in the morning to spend the rest of the weekend with us, and I had been cleaning like a madman ever since.
It didn’t matter that this wasn’t the apartment that I shared with Declan. I knew if it wasn’t spotless that I would get that judgmental look from Linda. The one where she pursed her lips and shook her head just seconds before those words fell from her mouth . . . “Oh sweet girl, bless your heart.”
Instead of helping me as any friend should, Taylor had spiraled down into a mini meltdown over meeting Jentry—as she had all week after we’d found out that Jentry would for sure be joining us.
I’d heard about Jentry a lot over the course of my relationship with Dec. He was Declan’s best friend and adopted brother, and had gone into the Marine Corps after high school. I didn’t know all the details of the adoption; only that it had happened when the boys were younger.
Jentry had left for his last tour overseas right before I met Declan, and the last I’d heard was that he planned to get out soon, but I didn’t know when that was supposed to happen. Declan had gone over to Camp Lejeune for Jentry’s return from Iraq, but hadn’t seen him since then and talked about him constantly. So I knew they were both excited about this weekend.
As I had been before I’d found out about our visitors tomorrow.
As Taylor had been before she’d decided that she suddenly had insecurities even though she was the most confident person I knew.
A satisfied smile spread across my face as I looked around the living room. Just try to find a speck of dust in here, Linda!
“I think I want to go back home,” Taylor continued even though I’d never responded.
With a huff, I turned to look at her. “You’re staying here, and you’re going to get over yourself. You are the one who was so interested in Jentry whenever Declan mentioned him. And you are the one who suggested this weekend, so you can’t back out now!”
“But now I realize how awkward it is. This is the worst idea I’ve ever had.” She made a face when I just raised an eyebrow. “Okay, one of the worst ideas I’ve ever had. He just got back from Iraq not long ago; he isn’t going to want some stranger intruding on his weekend!”
I groaned and rubbed at my eyes with the backs of my hands so I wouldn’t transfer any lingering cleaner. “Taylor, have you forgotten I still haven’t met— You know what? I don’t have time for this.”
“It would just help me if I knew what he looked like.” Taylor and I had had this same conversation at least fifteen times by now. I didn’t know why she kept going back to it.
“For the hundredth time—”
“Don’t exaggerate.”
“I don’t even know what he looks like. You were right there with me when Declan said that Jentry doesn’t mess with social media. I already tried talking to Linda to see if there were pictures of the boys, but I bet you can guess how well that went.”
“Fabulously, I’m sure.” Taylor sighed dramatically. “Why can’t guys take pictures of themselves the way we do?”
I studied her for a second, then asked, “Do you really need me to answer that?”
She blinked quickly, then made a face like she’d just eaten something sour. “No. I’m just psyching myself out. In my mind, Jentry is this ripped, sexy badass—but not in a good way. In one of those ways that you’re afraid of what he would do to you if you let him get too close. And then in my dreams, he’s a scrawny creep who smells. Both kind of make me want to run back home.”
I groaned and scrambled to my feet. “I’m sure he’ll be average in every way. I’m going to hop in the shower and get ready.”
“I don’t want him to be average, either!” she called out as I walked to the kitchen to put the cleaning supplies away.
“Well, he has to be something! And unless you want to meet him in that, I suggest you go get ready, too.” I looked pointedly at her fuzzy socks and holey sweats, and reminded her, “It
’s summer.”
“Don’t knock the outfit because you’re not as comfortable as I am.”
“You don’t look comfortable, you look hot.”
Taylor lifted an eyebrow suggestively. “Why, thank you.”
I couldn’t stop the soft laugh that bubbled up from my chest. “You know that’s not what I meant.” Turning away from her, I walked toward the bedroom I was sharing with Declan. “Get ready, Taylor.”
“I’m going home!”
“No, you aren’t. He’ll be great, I’m sure!” I hope. For the sake of this weekend, I really hope.
If I was about to spend the weekend with Declan’s mom, then I didn’t need Taylor blaming me if Jentry ended up being anything less than amazing.
Jentry
Declan rolled the passenger window down as he rolled to a stop where I stood on the sidewalk waiting for him, and called out in a high-pitched voice, “Hey, Marine, wanna go for a ride?”
My chest shook with silent laughter. “God, I don’t know why I’m friends with you.”
He held a hand dramatically to his chest and gave me an offended look as I slid into the passenger seat of his truck. “That hurts.”
“I’m sure you’ll be fine,” I mumbled, and knocked his shoulder with my fist. “Thanks for coming to get me, man. I need this weekend.”
“Of course. It’s been too long, and it was too good an opportunity to pass up.” He glanced at me with a mocking grin. “Really, though, how many girls pulled up and asked you that before I got here?”
My mouth curved up, because even though Declan had sounded ridiculous when he pulled up, he had sounded like one of the many overly confident girls who scoured the base, looking for any lonely guy. “Let’s just say it was more than one.”
He laughed, then grimaced. “Aren’t you afraid you’ll catch something . . . or meet their husbands?”
“Which is why I don’t go near them,” I said honestly. “Not worth it; I’d rather find someone who didn’t want me for a uniform.”