Ian moved beneath me. He began matching Hawk’s tempo, pushing his pelvis against me. I could feel his penis through the fabric of my wet panties. It hit me just right, sending zings through my core.
Gray wanted me close to coming, wanting me ready to beg. Hay, Dios Mio, I was there. “Yes, please. Please.”
The car came to a screeching stop. The three of us tumbled into the seats and each other. Face down in the carpet was no place for a good time. Now, vice versa was another story.
“What the fuck, man?” Hawk shouted toward the front seat.
I popped up just in time to see Grayson shove my phone into his pocket and say, “We’re here.”
He looked me in the face, that same tic in his jaw muscles. I so wanted to believe it was lust, but his eyes didn’t drop to my naked torso.
Hawk lifted me off Ian and moved me to the seat. I heard them clear their throats, and then I heard them get out of the car. Still, I couldn’t move or look away from Gray.
When they were gone, and it was only the two of us, then his gaze roamed my plundered body. I was naked from my stomach up and my skirt bunched around my waist. I’m sure I looked like a high school whore.
He narrowed his eyes and I felt the power of his domination fill the car, taking up all the space. “You’re fucking gorgeous like this, on edge and shameless.”
I wasn’t getting enough oxygen to my brain to comprehend what just happened. Surely stoic, sexy, Grayson Baker hadn’t admitted he was turned on by me.
The intensity of his stare bored into me like a laser. The heat from the lust behind those eyes all over my body. My limbs wouldn’t move, wouldn’t work at all. I became a statue, subjugated to the frank perusal of the artist, my master.
“I hated every second of those two having their hands on you, and I thought I would destroy the damn car when that tall bastard wanted to come on your face.”
Had I been misinterpreting everything all night? Probably. I was shit at this kind of stuff. Marc and Mindy’s betrayals proved I was not a good judge of character or clues or country club gossip.
If the dark color of his eyes were any indication, he enjoyed every second of staring at me. The frown said he hated that enjoyment.
He wanted me. But he didn’t want to want me.
Fantastic. Fucking fantastic.
“I’ll give you a minute to put yourself back together. If you’d like something else to wear once we’re up there, I can arrange for that. But you can also go naked.” He clenched his jaw again. “It’s your choice.”
What the fuck? Why couldn’t he say what was on his mind? He was very specifically saying he wanted me naked and then turning around in the same damn sentence and pretending he didn’t.
Damn right it was my choice. He may have this whole Dom thing going on, but I sure as shit never agreed to be his submissive. I didn’t even really know what that meant. In books, sure. In real life. Nada.
I was mad at him for putting me in this situation. Not with the guys and the camera. I was grateful for that. Why did he have to be such a pig-headed ass? A hot pig-headed ass, but one none the less. “Hurt much to say that?”
He scowled, and I told myself I didn’t care.
“Damn it. Don’t fucking push me away like one of your country club dickheads. I know what I’m doing here. You need this,” he pointed out the car door toward the guys and the front of his building, “more than my need to protect you or fuck you. Pull yourself together and go in there and get your brains screwed out.”
So many responses were coming from my body. It was shock and awe, the curling of my toes, the buzzing in my ears. Of course, he had a need to protect me. That was his job. But again, with the damn mixed messages. A need to fuck me and then telling me, all pissed off, to go get my brains screwed out.
I’d offered – no, begged him to take me to bed. He’d refused. There’d been a sexual tension building between us all night. I may not have understood that before, but it was diamond clear to me now.
I may be shit at romantic relationships, but at least I said what I meant. “You don’t really want me to do this, do you?”
He’d gone along with the bid to take me to that bar, and he’d agreed to make the recording for me. He’d hated every one of my requests all night, trying to get in the way.
If he did have feelings for me, this was a shitty way of showing it.
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “What I want doesn’t matter right now. You need this. You’ve never gotten a chance to be you, now you can find out who you are and what you like. If this is what you like, well...”
I raised my eyes so he could see every expression, every sincerity written there. My next question was important, and I didn’t want to hear lies. I wanted to see and hear the truth. “Why can’t I do that with you?”
He took my face in his hands and brushed his lips across mine. It was nothing like when Ian had done the same. The taste of warmth and compassion, love and lust seeped into my mouth. I needed this man. The realization was like when you were looking for something that was right in front of you.
I needed and wanted Gray on a level way beyond friendship and even beyond sex. He saw me when no one else did.
He stared down at me, searching my eyes. “I won’t be your rebound.”
I swallowed the sweetly rancid burn bubbling up in my throat. The first move I made was to push his hands away. I grasped at the sweater pooled at my waist and yanked down my skirt. Only when I had myself covered did he break eye contact. He slid out the door and I sank back into the seat.
This whole night was a horrible combination of freedom, revenge, lust, and complete fuck-ups.
Men’s voices floated into the car, but my brain was too jumbled to process the words. I rubbed my arms with my hands, trying to get my blood flowing again so I could make my muscles work. Until then, I couldn’t fathom getting out of the car.
I closed my eyes and waited. For what I didn’t know. I felt the heat beside me and strong arms wrap me in their embrace.
“Hey, babe, come here.”
I leaned into Ian and breathed in his scent. It was some fancy expensive cologne, but what I wanted was the smell of soap, lust, and man. I wanted Gray.
I couldn’t have him. Yet.
So I’d take this sweet, sexy substitute.
Ian took my hand. “Come on, let’s go in and have some fun. Let us take care of you.”
Had he overheard that train wreck or was the punch-to-the-gut disappointment written on my features? I didn’t need someone to take care of me. But what else did I have at the moment?
“Yeah.” I pushed to imbue a lightness in my voice that wasn’t in my soul. “Let’s go.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
Bound and Rebound
Gray’s suite was not what I expected, but totally him. This new him I hadn’t known existed. The one who belonged to a club like The Asylum.
I imagined the interior of a sex club would be all dark leather and burnished steel like his loft, but with whips and floggers and various other S&M equipment hanging on the walls. They probably didn’t have the floor to ceiling windows he had, though. What a view. A million-dollar view.
How often did he spend time here? It couldn’t be that much. He was usually with me, and I knew he stayed overnight in the carriage house.
This must be his den of iniquities, where he brought his women.
Now, here I was.
I couldn’t feel any further away from him.
“Help yourself to drinks. There’s bottled water and teas in the kitchen. I’ll be a minute.” Gray left us in his living room and went down a hallway off the kitchen.
He may be distancing himself from me, but I didn’t need him, anyway. I had a ménage to attend to.
“What’s this boyfriend of yours doing now, doll? We’re all raring to go and he’s off hiding somewhere. I’m tired of seeing you wait on his whims.” Hawk walked into the living room and studied the furniture there.
> He’d been calling Gray that all night. My boyfriend. Until three minutes ago, I hadn’t minded. But Gray wasn’t my boyfriend. I didn’t know what he was to me, but I knew what he wasn’t.
My rebound.
The words stung in my ears and pierced my psyche like a nine-foot stinger of a killer bee. It would take a lot to soothe that pain. Not sure a ménage with two strangers would do that. It might do something else for my confidence though. To be desired and needed by these hot men – that was new experience for me. I wanted more.
I followed Hawk into the living room and motioned Ian to come with. The sooner we got back into the groove the better. Regardless of where Gray was and what he did or didn’t want. “Who says we have to wait for him?”
“Hell, yeah. Now you’re talking,” Ian said and whipped off his shirt. His pants weren’t far behind.
If a girl didn’t have a six-pack waiting in the wings for her, she might swoon over the lean, well-toned muscles in Ian’s arms and abs. I laughed at how fast he went from nice guy to naked guy.
Hawk came over to me and pushed right into my personal space. He chucked me under the chin, lifting my face so I looked right into his eyes.
“You and I need to get something clear before this night goes any further.” His voice had taken on a tone that brooked no arguments.
I saw only honesty and want of the truth in his gaze. It was incredibly sexy and reminded me so much of Gray that I lost my breath for a moment. I had to focus to find words to answer him with. “Okay.”
Incredibly, he moved even closer to me. Our thighs touched, my breasts pushed against his chest and responded with an ache. I’d been intent on a one-night stand with strangers, but somewhere in the mix of foreplay I found I liked them both. In another life, I could have gone for Hawk.
“Dollface, is this revenge on your boyfriend?” His face was a mix of emotions. I didn’t know him well enough to understand them all, but I was pretty sure I saw hurt. Was he offended that I was using him? I searched that face. No, he had been wounded in the way only one who’d been cheated on could understand.
“No.” I bit my lip and looked away. Hawk would see that same injury in me.
Hawk grabbed me around the waist, pulling our bodies tighter together as if he could will the truth from me with his overpowering touch. He wrapped his hand around my jaw, drawing my gaze back to his. “Don’t lie to me.”
“I’m not. He isn’t even my boyfriend.”
“What is he then?” Hawk’s eyebrows lowered, ready to furrow if he found the wrong answer.
I shook my head. How the fuck should I know? This whole night, Gray had been something more than our regular relationship ever even hinted at. “Believe me when I say, I don’t know right now.”
Hawk relaxed a fraction. “Fine, I can see that, but then who’s the person we’re getting revenge on?”
I’d done my best to deny that’s what this was to them. They were both too damn perceptive.
I waited for the words to get stuck in my throat, but they didn’t. Marc’s betrayal still burned a hole in my gut, but he himself didn’t have that same hold over me anymore. “My ex-fiancé.”
“Why is he your ex?”
“He was a cheating pendejo who would never do anything kinky with me, but was definitely doing dirty things with my ex-best friend.” I spat the words like the garbage they were.
“Ah.” Hawk’s face softened, but his grip did not. “Then he deserves everything we’re going to do... to you.” A glint sparked in his eyes. “And I think your Gray deserves to get a taste of some jealousy to boot.”
“He’s not even here to watch.” He’d done his job, protected me, made sure this encounter was safe. Now all he had to do was wait me out.
Ian finally joined us, pressing his body to my back. His naked body. “He will be. No chance he’ll let us have you all to ourselves.”
Hawk stroked my chin and neck with the back of his knuckles. “Not having total control is killing the dude about as much as watching us play with you.”
“Poor guy is probably jacking off in the bathroom, so he can keep pretending he isn’t dying to get inside of you.” Ian’s words filled my mind with that exact image.
Coño.
“You two are full of it.” Even as I said the words, I knew they weren’t. Gray and I had been in denial all night. Longer than that even. Funny that two strangers understood us better than we did each other...or ourselves.
“You’re the one who is going to be full of it.” Ian joked, letting me off the hook.
“Oh ho. I am, huh?” I wiggled my rear end against him, hoping to hit home. I did, if his moan was any indication.
Hawk pressed a kiss to my lips and nipped at me. “Are you ready for this, doll?”
“Yeah. Let’s get some revenge and see just how jealous we can make anyone who might see.” Like the pictures for Marc or the video...or Gray in real life.
“We’ll make ‘em plenty jealous if I have anything to say about it.” Ian pushed his arms between my body and Hawk’s and lifted my sweater over my head.
Before I was free from my top, Hawk unbuttoned and unzipped my skirt and pulled it down to the floor. I stood before them in my matching bra and panties.
I couldn’t see Ian but felt his eyes on me like a heat lamp. Hawk, on the other hand, looked me over from head to toe. There was so much obvious male appreciation in his eyes that if I ever felt self-conscious about my soft and squidgy places, that all disappeared with the wicked smile growing on his face.
Hawk ran his fingers under the strap of my bra. “I love the lingerie, but it has to go.”
“Be my guest.” I was going to enjoy being undressed by these men.
Hawk nodded at Ian and in an instant my panties were on the floor. Before I could say SuperCallousedFragileMysticHexedByHalitosis, my bra followed it.
It dangled off Hawk’s hand. “How do you feel about being tied up?”
I blinked, twice, and swallowed back the excitement that idea held so he wouldn’t think I was a total noob. “Sounds fun.”
“You are a goddess.” Hawk grabbed the cushions off the couch and threw them to the floor. “Lay down on those, head nearest the couch so I have something to tie you to.”
I laid down and Ian joined me. He stroked my arms and brought them up over my head, holding both wrists in his hands. “Remember, you’re never completely helpless. You’re only giving up the control you want to. If we do anything you don’t want, all you have to do is say stop. Okay?”
I nodded, my brain already fuzzing out with an overload of arousal.
Hawk knelt beside me. “Say it, doll. We can’t do this if you don’t communicate.”
“I understand. I’ll tell you to stop if I need to.”
“That’s good enough for now. But anytime I ask, you remember to verbalize.” Hawk grabbed my bra off the floor, folded the cups together, and unhooked the straps. He knelt behind my head and wrapped them around my wrists, looped around the couch leg and then back, into some sort of slip knot.
I tugged at the straps and they stretched a little, but not enough that I could get away. They weren’t so tight that I would lose circulation.
“Next time I’ll bring my own rope. I’ve been practicing a little Shibari. I’d love to see your flushed brown skin wrapped in pretty red rope.”
An hour ago, I hadn’t even considered a next time. Now, maybe.
I didn’t get any time to think on it more. Ian’s hands began roaming my body. His lips followed. He nibbled at my neck and whispered in my ear, “Your body is so lush. I can’t wait to sink into you.”
I was panting already. Now that I’d finally settled my mind and knew what I was after, my body was ready to go. “Yes.”
“But we can’t forget Hawk.”
I turned my head to find Hawk stripping out of his clothes. He was wider than Ian, muscles on muscles. Light skin to Ian’s dark, broody depth to Ian’s carefree pretense.
I needed bot
h men like the sun and the moon. But I could not live off the rays and glimmer alone. Even as they touched me and worshipped my body, there was heat, but without warmth.
For now, it was enough. Only for now.
Hawk grabbed a strip of condoms from his pants and tossed them onto the floor next to me. He moved some of the cushions aside and slid his body in half underneath me, pressing a leg between my knees. “Open yourself, doll.”
He guided my leg, hooking his elbow under my knee so I was open and bare for Ian’s perusal.
“You’ve got a beautiful pussy. First I’m going to taste it and then I’m going to fuck it.”
The frank words seeped into my mind, igniting fires. I closed my eyes, overwhelmed by the scene. Two men were pressed against me and I could do nothing short of telling them to stop while they had their way with me.
I was almost everything I’d ever wanted.
“No, don’t close your eyes. Look at me.” Hawk demanded my attention. It wasn’t a request and I was more turned on by that fact. I twisted my head and stared at Hawk. “I want to see those pretty eyes glazed over with lust as Ian makes you come.”
Ian met Hawk’s challenge with a long lick over my clit and then set up a steady pace of licks and sucks, hitting all the right places. I squirmed, and my eyes fluttered, wanting to revel in the pleasure of it.
“No. Look at me or face a punishment,” Hawk rumbled.
I moaned and tugged at my bindings. Ian didn’t let up for a second, driving me higher and already close to coming. “Please.”
“Please what?”
“I don’t know. I need...” I felt bound by more than the ties around my wrists.
Hawk held my gaze while his hands played with my nipple. “You need to let go. You’re not in charge of your pleasure, we are. You don’t have to do anything but let us take you to places you’ve never been before.”
I wanted to let go, loved the idea of not needing to worry about every reaction, every response. I’d never felt good enough in bed and always worried if what I was doing was right. “I don’t know how.”
“Because you’re thinking too much. Just feel. Feel Ian’s tongue sliding over your flesh.” Hawk moved my leg so it rested on his knee, then reached around and caressed the bottom side of my breast. “Feel how my touch pushes you higher.”