CHAPTER LIX
THE ADJOURNED DEBATE
The fatal invitation to Mr. Sponge having been sent, the question that nowoccupied the minds of the assembled sharpers at Nonsuch House, was, whetherhe was a pigeon or one of themselves. That point occupied their very deepand serious consideration. If he was a 'pigeon,' they could clearlyaccommodate him, but if, on the other hand, he was one of themselves, itwas painfully apparent that there were far too many of them there already.Of course, the subject was not discussed in full and open conclave--theywere all highly honourable men in the gross--and it was only in the smalland secret groups of those accustomed to hunt together and unburden theirminds, that the real truth was elicited.
'What an ass Sir Harry is, to ask this Mr. Sponge,' observed Captain Quodto Captain Seedeybuck, as (cigar in mouth) they paced backwards andforwards under the flagged veranda on the west side of the house, on themorning that Sir Harry had announced his intention of asking him.
'Confounded ass,' assented Seedeybuck, from between the whiffs of hiscigar.
'Dash it! one would think he had more money than he knew what to do with,'observed the first speaker, 'instead of not knowing where to lay hands on ahalfpenny.'
'Soon be who-hoop,' here observed Quod, with a shake of the head.
'Fear so,' replied Seedeybuck. 'Have you heard anything fresh?'
'Nothing particular. The County Court bailiff was here with some summonses,which, of course, he put in the fire.'
'Ah! that's what he always does. He got tired of papering the smoking-roomwith them,' replied Seedeybuck.
'Well, it's a pity,' observed Quod, spitting as he spoke; 'but what can youexpect, eaten up as he is by such a set of rubbish.'
'Shockin',' replied Seedeybuck, thinking how long he and his friend mighthave fattened there together.
'Do you know anything of this Mr. Sponge?' asked Captain Quod, after apause.
'Nothin',' replied Seedeybuck, 'except what we saw of him here; but I'msure he won't do.'
'Well, I think not either,' replied Quod; 'I didn't like his looks--heseems quite one of the free-and-easy sort.'
'Quite,' observed Seedeybuck, determined to make a set against him, insteadof cultivating his acquaintance.
'This Mr. Sponge won't be any great addition to our party, I think,'muttered Captain Bouncey to Captain Cutitfat, as they stood within the bayof the library window, in apparent contemplation of the cows, but inreality conning the Sponge matter over in their minds.
'I think not,' replied Captain Cutitfat, with an emphasis.
'Wonder what made Sir Harry ask him!' whispered Bouncey, adding, aloud, forthe bystanders to hear, 'That's a fine cow, isn't it?'
'Very,' replied Cutitfat, in the same key, adding, in a whisper, with ashrug of his shoulders, 'Wonder what made him ask half the people that arehere!'
'The black and white one isn't a bad un,' observed Bouncey, nodding hishead towards the cows, adding in an undertone, 'Most of them askedthemselves, I should think.'
'Admiring the cows. Captain Bouncey?' asked the beautiful and tolerablyvirtuous Miss Glitters, of the Astley's Royal Amphitheatre, who had comedown to spend a few days with her old friend, Lady Scattercash. 'Admiringthe cows, Captain Bouncey?' asked she, sidling her elegant figure betweenour friends in the bay.
'We were just saying how nice it would be to have two or three prettygirls, and a sillabub, under those cedars,' replied Captain Bouncey.
'Oh, charming!' exclaimed Miss Glitters, her dark eyes sparkling as shespoke. 'Harriet!' exclaimed she, addressing herself to a young lady, whocalled herself Howard, but whose real name was Brown--JaneBrown--'Harriet!' exclaimed she, 'Captain Bouncey is going to give a _fetechampetre_ under those lovely cedars.'
'Oh, how nice!' exclaimed Harriet, clapping her hands inecstasies--theatrical ecstasies at least.
'It must be Sir Harry,' replied the billiard-table man, not fancying being'let in' for anything.
'Oh! Sir Harry will let us have anything we like, I'm sure,' rejoined MissGlitters.
'What is it (hiccup)?' asked Sir Harry, who, hearing his name, now joinedthe party.
'Oh, we want you to give us a dance under those charming cedars,' repliedthe lady, looking lovingly at him.
'Cedars!' hiccuped Sir Harry, 'where do you see any cedars?'
'Why there,' replied Miss Glitters, nodding towards a clump of evergreens.
'Those are (hiccup) hollies,' replied Sir Harry.
'Well, under the hollies,' rejoined Miss Glitters; adding, 'it was CaptainBouncey who said they were cedars.'
'Ah, I meant those beyond,' observed the captain, nodding in anotherdirection.
'Those are (hiccup) Scotch firs,' rejoined Sir Harry.
'Well, never mind what they are,' resumed the lady; 'let us have a danceunder them.'
'Certainly,' replied Sir Harry, who was always ready for anything. 'Weshall have plenty of partners,' observed Miss Howard, recollecting how manymen there were in the house.
'And another coming,' observed Captain Cutitfat, still fretting at theidea.
'Indeed!' exclaimed Miss Howard, raising her hands and eyebrows in delight;'and who is he?' asked she, with unfeigned glee.
'Oh such a (hiccup) swell,' replied Sir Harry; 'reg'lar Leicestershire man.A (hiccup) Quornite, in fact.'
'We'll not have the dance till he comes, then,' observed Miss Glitters.
'No more we will,' said Miss Howard, withdrawing from the group.