“Omigod. You’re so going to hell,” Sara exclaims into my phone as pull on a robe the next morning and stumble to the kitchen to make coffee. “I wouldn’t even do that. Well, maybe I would. But I haven’t yet.”
I roll my eyes. “You so would. Your little guy, Chaz, just hasn’t thought of trying it yet with you. You should mention it to him. I know you’d like it.”
“Honey, I would rock the hell out of that shit,” Sara says and I know that she has already mentally added it to her list of things to do.”
I pour the coffee into the maker as I listen to her ramble.
“So, you didn’t actually have sex with the second one?” she asks, a little incredulous. I giggle.
“No. I sort of actually wanted to… but that would be crossing a line for me, I think. I can only go so far until I feel like I’m getting out of control. But it was still fun. I felt really naughty.”
“You were really naughty,” she answers. “Ooh- have you ever thought of getting spanked?? A naughty girl should be spanked. And you’re welcome. If it weren’t for me, you’d still be twiddling your thumbs all by yourself on the weekends.”
“Thank you, Sara,” I answer obligingly. “You’re right. You have expanded my horizons but not far enough to get spanked. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t enjoy that.”
I hit the brew button and then collapse into a kitchen chair.
It’s 10:00 am and I’m only just now getting up. But to be fair, I didn’t get home until after 2:00 am. Sophie stayed the night with Hayley again and she’s not home yet, so there’s no reason I needed to be up earlier.
Sara chatters into my ear for a while and I don’t know why, but I decide to tell her about Alex and how I couldn’t even keep him out of my thoughts last night when I was with Shade and Tyler. She is silent in astonishment for a moment after I am through.
“Omigod,” she says again for the fortieth time today. “You’re falling for your boss. Like, really falling for him.”
“Maybe,” I tell her. “He just seems so right for me. And he’s so hilarious. You know how I love a good sense of humor. Plus, we’re in the same exact position in life. It’s uncanny. But I just don’t think I can bring myself to date anyone right now. That’s how you talked me into the whole Shade thing, remember? Because I wasn’t ready to date.”
“Yes, but Shade was meant as a way to ease you into the dating world. I figured if you had sex with someone, it would take the stress out of getting into a real relationship eventually. It’s been nine months since the divorce, Alli. And you were in therapy for a year before that, trying to figure everything out. You’ve worked on yourself, you’ve given yourself time. If there is someone there who seems to be everything you want, you shouldn’t hesitate to reach out and grab him by the balls.”
“You make him sound like he is ripe apricot at the grocery,” I tell her grumpily. “Except for the balls part. You don’t get it. He’s my boss. I’m afraid to date anyone right now. I put fifteen years into my relationship with Rick only to have him cheat on me and trash everything we worked for.”
Sara snorts. “Rick didn’t work for anything. You did all the work. You worked on the relationship, you worked to earn enough money for him to start his own business…. You worked. He didn’t. It’s time for you to date a real man.”
I’m silent as I think about that.
But my moment of reflection is interrupted by the doorbell.
“Hey, I’ve got to go,” I tell Sara. “I’ll call you later.”
I pad to the door and peer through, only to find Rick the Dick himself standing on my porch. Holy crap. Speak of the devil.
I open the door.
“Yes? Sophie isn’t here. Were you supposed to pick her up?”
I’m confused. No one told me anything of the sort. But he is already shaking his head.
“No. I’m actually here to see you. Can I come in?”
Rick is uncharacteristically quiet and subdued. And now I’m even more confused.
“Sure. Come in, I guess.”
I open the door wider and he walks past, walking straight for the kitchen. He takes a seat at the table.
“Can you sit?” He motions to an empty seat across from him. I try not to feel resentful that he is controlling the situation in my own house. Instead, I draw my robe more tightly closed and sit down.
“What’s going on?” I ask him, eyeing him suspiciously. “What do you want?”
He rolls his eyes.
“I don’t want anything, Allison,” he sighs. “Isn’t it possible that I just want to have a conversation with you? We used to talk all the time.”
I stare at him.
“Yes, we did,” I acknowledge. “Before I found out that you had cheated on me for years. That sort of burns the bridges of communication.”
He almost scowls before he quickly hides it. And this makes me even more suspicious. He’s trying very hard to be nice, which means he wants to ask me for something.
“What do you want?” I ask again. “I haven’t had any coffee yet, so I’m afraid I’m a little impatient.”
As if on cue, my coffee maker beeps to signal that it is done. Rick stands up and walks to it, pulling down a cup from the cupboard. He pours in coffee, cream and sugar and hands it back to me.
“See?” he says with a smile. “I know how you like things, Alli.”
And now I’m on edge. His tone is strange, almost flirty. My eyes narrow.
“Allison, I’ve made a mistake. I think it’s because I was going through a mid-life crisis. But I miss being home with you and Sophie. I think we should get back together and give it another try.”
He just throws it out there like he’s talking about a football game, like it’s even in the realm of possibility. Which it isn’t.
I’m left with my mouth open.
“Wha—what?” I ask stupidly.
Rick smiles. “I’d like to get back together.”
“What about Vanessa?” I ask, because in my haze, it’s the only thing I can think of to say.
Rick shrugs. “She’s a nice girl, but she’s too immature. I miss you, Allison. I miss the way you took care of me.”
And that’s it right there. He misses being taken care of. His little Vanessa needs someone to take care of her so there’s no way she can take care of him. This isn’t about me at all, it’s about him. Of course. Just like always. My blood instantly boils, so I count to ten before I speak.
“I don’t think so, Rick.”
And now he’s the one who is astonished. “What?”
“You cheated on me,” I bite out through clenched teeth. “You humiliated me in front of everyone we know by cheating on me with girls who are barely older than teenagers. And now you are engaged to one. I wish you the best, but that certainly won’t be with me.”
“Now, Alli,” he says soothingly, putting a hand on my arm. I pull it away and glare at him. “Think of Sophie,” he adds. “She can have her family back.”
I glare at him harder. “I can’t believe you’re even saying these words. You are the reason this family isn’t together right now. You. You cheated. You tore us apart. And now I’ve moved on. Get out.”
He looks at me. “Alli, come on—“ But I interrupt him.
“Get. Out.”
He scowls as he shoves his chair back, scraping the tiled floor. “If I walk out right now, Alli, I’m not coming back. I won’t offer again.”
I am dumbfounded as I stand up.
“You coming back is not an offer, you ass. It’s a threat. Please leave. And don’t come back here unless it is to pick up Sophie. I don’t want anything to do with you.”
He stalks out and I lock the door after him before sliding to the ground, shaking like a leaf. How in the hell would he ever think that I would take him back…ever? What a pompous, self-absorbed ass.
I text Sara from the floor in a foul-mouthed text that leaves me feeling better. I tuck my phone back into my robe pocket as I continue back into
the kitchen and drink my coffee. What a way to kick off my weekend. But between my text conversation with Sara and Sophie coming home, I am distracted.
Sophie and I go shopping, get take-out and basically, just have a girl’s weekend again. And my thoughts are deflected from thinking about Alex, which is exactly what I wanted to happen.
That is, until that night when I am getting ready for bed and I get a text from him.
Even though I shouldn’t be, I’m thinking about you.
My insides melt and I fall into bed, yanking the covers up and over my head. What the hell am I going to do?
********
Monday comes all too soon and I don’t have any answers by then, either. I do take extra care getting ready for work. I dress in a pale gray pencil skirt, a pale pink silk blouse and dark gray heels. The skirt makes my ass look fabulous and the silk shirt clings to my girls. I know that I look good as I stride into my office.
Taylor looks up and smiles.
“Morning, boss!” She hands me a stack of messages. “There’s fresh coffee on your desk.”
Oh, how I love that girl.
But when I reach my desk, I see the local coffee house cup and I know that it wasn’t Taylor. It was Alex. He’s been bringing me this coffee because he knows I like it. My insides melt again as I drop into my chair.
It feels good to be taken care of, even in this small way.
I open up my email and sift through them, answering a few and deleting a few others. And then Taylor knocks softly on my office door.
“Hey, boss. Your new intern is here.”
Her face looks strange and I raise my eyebrow.
“What?” I ask her. She takes a step into my office and lowers her voice.
“He’s freaking hot,” she whispers. “He’s going to be quite the distraction in the workplace. You can expect productivity to decrease ten-fold with him here.”
I roll my eyes. Taylor is in her twenties, so a twenty-three year old intern probably will be a distraction for her.
“Are you going to be able to control yourself?” I ask jokingly. “You’ve got to figure out things for him to do.”
“Oh, I can think of some things for him to do,” she says lasciviously, and then laughs. I roll my eyes again .
“Just show him in before you pounce on him, please. The last thing we need is a sexual harassment suit.”
She grins and is gone. And then she’s back within a minute. It takes me a second to realize that the shadow following her is Colby.
As in… Shade.
What.
The.
Hell.
I am staring at him with my mouth open as Sara introduces him to me. But I barely hear her voice. The sound is roaring in my ears. I’m just flabbergasted. And Colby’s grin is mischievous, his eyes sparkling. It’s almost as if he knew, like he was expecting to see me.
I stand up stiffly, holding my hand out.
“Hi Colby. It’s nice to see you again,” I say for Taylor’s benefit. I shake the hand that has been everywhere on my body, the fingers that have been inside of my mouth…and other places. My eyes never leave his and the ornery expression never disappears from his face.
He knew.
I am sure of it.
“You already know each other?” Taylor is surprised as she stares at me.
My eyes haven’t left Colby’s. “Yes. Colby is Sophie’s new swim coach.”
“Ah,” Taylor answers, practically fawning over Colby. “That makes sense. You look like a swimmer,” she tells him. He grins at her.
“Thank you, Taylor,” I tell her. “I’ll just take a few minutes to talk with Colby about the position. Can you close my door?”
She looks intrigued, but she does as I ask and I am alone with Colby.
I fight to stay calm as the ramifications of this scenario hit home with me.
Colby is Shade.
Shade is a gigolo whom I slept with.
Shade’s father is Alex who I have a crush on.
Oh, sweet Lord.
My life is an endless series of complications.
“You knew,” I say softly. “You knew when you came in here today that I would be here, didn’t you?”
Colby grins, his blue eyes sparkling.
“Yes. My dad called last week and gave me your name so that I would know who to ask for.”
In a valiant effort to hold my shit together, I take three deep breaths before answering him.
“And you didn’t say anything to me on Friday night because?” I raise an eyebrow now and swallow hard as I remember what we did together on Friday.
“Because I thought it would be fun to surprise you,” he admits, taking a step toward me. I take a step back, then in fact, I retreat behind my desk. There is laughter in his eyes when I meet his gaze.
“Alli, why are you running from me?” His blue eyes are sparkling. “This doesn’t change anything. In fact, I only took this position after my dad told me who to ask for. I have to admit, I thought it would be fun to work here with you. But that doesn’t change our weekend activities. You’ve seen me coach Sophie. I’m very good at compartmentalizing things. I can handle everything. Trust me.”
He’s so cute. So, so cute.
And so, so young.
Did I mention so, so young?
I make a decision, on the spot, without even consulting BB and I know she will kill me later.
I also know that I might live to regret it, but I know I have to do it.
And seriously, as I gaze at him, at how young and gorgeous he is, my resolve wavers. But then I remember that I can’t keep paying him to fill a void in my life. Because as long as I do that, I won’t move forward and find something real.
So, I sigh while BB silently wails. I know that if she could, she’d be punching me in the pelvic floor right now.
“Colby, you are adorable. And we’ve had a lot of fun. But this does complicate things. But even still, I do believe that this is a great opportunity for you while you’re figuring out what you want to do in life. So, I’m going to end our...other relationship. It’s fulfilled its purpose anyway. I needed you to get me ready to date again. And you have. So, thank you. It’s been really fun.”
Colby stares at me, all amusement gone from his eyes now. In fact, I see dismay there as he realizes what I’m saying. And honestly, I can’t quite believe I’m saying it. Am I seriously going to break up the perfect arrangement for something that may or may not ever happen?
But I picture Alex’s handsome face and I steel my resolve.
Yes. I am.
“It’s been really fun? Alli, come on. I promise. I can handle this. No one will ever know that we know each other from elsewhere.”
“Oh, I know,” I tell him. “But see, that’s the problem. I will know. And I know that you won’t say anything. But I’m not as good at compartmentalizing as you are. I can’t continue to see you and work with you here. I’m not that talented.”
Colby throws his head back and laughs now. “Alli, you’re far more talented than you think.”
I shake my head. “See? This is what I’m talking about. If you throw sexual innuendoes at me, I can’t concentrate on work. And I’m here to work during the day. Plus, having you and your dad both here is just twenty different kinds of wrong if I’m still seeing you. So I’m not going to.”
Colby is quiet as he assesses me.
“My dad. You know, when you told me that you needed distracting, I wondered if it was because you may have met someone. Were you talking about my dad?”
I hesitate for a moment too long before answering, because Colby almost gasps.
“You were.”
I nod.
“You have a thing for my dad,” Colby says slowly as if he’s trying to make himself understand it.
“I might,” I say. “I’m trying to figure that out.”
Colby shakes his head. “Well, I’ve taught you well. At least I know my dad will be taken care of.” He laughs because he m
eans it as a joke. But I shudder.
“See? This is all just too weird,” I say, feeling a little sick to my stomach. “I can’t date your dad now. There’s no way in the world. And does your dad know what you do?”
I sink into my chair, my head in my hands. Why does my life have to be so messed up?
Colby comes around and massages my shoulders lightly.
“No, my dad doesn’t know what I do. And yes, Alli, you can date my dad. In fact, I talked to him yesterday on the phone and he sounded happier than he has sounded in a long time. I asked him if a woman was to blame for that and he told me that he had met someone, but that he couldn’t date her because it was complicated.”
I nod miserably. “It’s even more complicated than he knows. And this isn’t helping,” I answer.
Colby stops massaging my shoulders and bends, looking me in the eye.
“Alli, I know my father and I know you. You are perfect for each other. I know it seems strange, but we’ll stop seeing each other and after a while, we’ll practically forget that we were ever a thing. It won’t be a big deal at all.”
“But I don’t know if I can date your dad knowing that I slept with his son,” I practically whisper. Saying it out loud makes it sound so seedy and horrible and dramatic, like I should be on a bad soap opera.
Colby rolls his eyes.
“Alli, my dad will never know. And you didn’t sleep with his son. You slept with Shade. My dad’s son is Colby. We’re two different people. And my dad will never, ever know.”
“You might be two different people, but you share the same penis,” I remind him wryly. Colby laughs.
“Either way. My sex life isn’t my dad’s concern. People don’t need to disclose who they’ve had sex with in the past. It will be fine, Alli. And I can’t believe that I have to stand here and talk to you like this. You and my dad need to figure it out. It’s stupid to let a job get in the way of happiness.”
I stare at him. “How did you get so smart for a twenty-three year old?”
He just smiles, a young and handsome grin.
“I guess it’s a family trait. Now, Alli Cat, changing the subject…what are you going to have me do here at Zellers?”
I square my shoulders, back to business.