CHAPTER II
_The Courtezan's story, showing some of the Sins of ReligiousProfessors--A carnal Preacher, a frail Mother, and a lustful Father--aplan of revenge._
'My parents are persons of respectable standing in society;--they areboth members of the Methodist Episcopal church, and remarkably rigid intheir observance of the external forms and ceremonies of religion.Family worship was always adhered to by them, as well as grace beforeand after meals. They have ever been regarded as most exemplary andpious people. I was their only child; and the first ten years of my lifewere passed in much the same manner as those of other children of my sexand condition. I attended school, and received a good education; and myparents endeavored to instill the most pious precepts into my mind, tothe end, they said, that I might become a vessel of holiness to theLord. When I reached my twelfth year, a circumstance occurred whichmaterially diminished my belief in the sanctity and godliness of one ofmy parents, and caused me to regard with suspicion and distrust, bothreligion and its professors.
'It was the custom of the pastor of the church to which my parentsbelonged, to make a weekly round of visits among the members of hiscongregation. These visits were generally made in the middle of theforenoon or afternoon, during the absence of the male members of thevarious families. I observed that 'our minister' invariably paid hisvisits to our house when my father was absent at his place of business.Upon these occasions, he would hold long and private conferences with mymother, who used to declare that these interviews with that holy man didher more substantial _good_ than all his preaching. 'It is so refreshingto my soul,' she would say, 'to pray in secret with that good man--he is_so_ full of Christian love--so tender in his exhortations--so ferventin his prayers! O that I could meet him every day, in the sanctity of mycloset, to strengthen my faith by the outpourings of his inexhaustiblefount of piety and Christian love!'
'The _wrestlings with the Lord_ of my maternal parent and her holypastor, must have been both prolonged and severe, judging from the factthat at the termination of these pious interviews, my mother sometimesmade her appearance with disordered apparel and disarranged hair; whilethe violence of her efforts to strengthen her faith was further manifestfrom the flushed condition of her countenance, and general peculiarityof aspect.
'One afternoon the Reverend Mr. Flanders--for that was the name of ourminister--called to see my mother, and as usual they retired together toa private room, for 'holy communion.' Young as I was, my suspicions hadlong been excited in regard to the nature of these interviews; I beganto think that their true object partook more largely of an earthly andcarnal character, than either the pastor or my mother would care to haveknown. Upon the afternoon in question, I determined to satisfy myself onthis point;--and accordingly, as soon as they entered the room andclosed the door, (which they always locked,) I stole noiselesslyup-stairs, and stationed myself in the passage, on the outside of theroom, and listened intently. I had scarcely taken up my position, whenmy ear caught the sound of _kissing_; and applying my eye to thekey-hole, I beheld the Rev. Mr. Flanders bestowing the most ferventembraces upon my mother, which she returned with compound interest. Thepious gentleman, clasping her around the waist with one arm, proceededto take liberties which astonished and disgusted me: and my mother notonly permitted the revered scoundrel to do this, but actually seemed toencourage him. Soon they placed themselves upon a sofa, in full view ofmy gaze; and I was both mortified and enraged to observe the wantonnessof my mother, and the lasciviousness of her _pious_ friend. Afterindulging in the most obscene and lecherous preliminaries, the fullmeasure of their iniquity was consummated, I being a witness to thewhole disgraceful scene. Horrified, and sick at heart, I left the spotand repaired to my own room, where I shed many bitter tears, for thedishonor of my mother and the hypocrisy of the minister filled me withshame and grief. From that moment, I ceased to love and respect mymother, as formerly; but she failed to perceive any alteration in myconduct towards her, and at that time was far from suspecting that I hadwitnessed the act of her dishonor and disgrace.
'I had always regarded my father as one of the best and most exemplaryof men; and after my mother's crime, I comforted myself with thereflection that _he_, at least, was no hypocrite! but in every sense agood and sincere Christian. Nothing happened to shake this belief, untilI had reached my fourteenth year; and then, alas! I became too painfullyconvinced that all _his_ professions of piety and holiness were but acloak to conceal the real wickedness of his heart. It chanced, aboutthis time, that a young woman was received into our family, as adomestic: this person was far from being handsome or in the slightestdegree interesting, in countenance--yet her figure was rather good thanotherwise. She was a bold, wanton-looking wench; and soon after she cameto live with us, I noticed that my father frequently eyed her withsomething sensual in his glances. He frequently sought opportunities ofbeing alone with her; and one evening, hearing a noise in the kitchen, Iwent to the head of the stairs, and listened--there was the sound of atussle, and I heard Jane (the name of the young woman,) exclaim--'Havedone, sire--take away your hands--how dare you?' And then she laughed,in a manner that indicated her words were not very seriously meant. Myfather's voice next reached me; what he said I could not clearlydistinguish; but he seemed to be remonstrating with the girl, andentreating her to grant him some favor; what that favor was, I couldreadily guess; and that she _did_ grant it to him, without much furthercoaxing, was soon evident to my mind, by certain unmistakable sounds.But I preferred _seeing_ to _hearing;_ creeping softly down the kitchenstairs, I peeped in at the door, which was slightly ajar, and beheld myChristian papa engaged in a manner that reflected no credit on hisobservance of the seventh commandment.
'Thus having satisfied myself as to the nature and extent of _his_sanctity and holiness, I softly ascended the stairs, and resumed my seatin the parlor. In less than ten minutes afterwards, the whole familywere summoned together around the family altar, and then my excellentand pious father poured out his pure spirit in prayer, returning thanksfor having been 'preserved from temptation,' and supplicating that allthe members of his household might flee from fleshy lusts, which waragainst the soul; to which my chaste and saint-like mother responded ina fervent 'Amen.' From that evening, the kitchen wench with whom myfather had defiled himself, assumed an air of bold insolence to everyone in the house; she refused to perform any of the menial servicesdevolving upon her, and when my mother spoke of dismissing her, myfather would not listen to it; so the girl continued with us. She hadevidently obtained entire dominion over my father, and did not scrupleto use her power to her own advantage; for she flaunted about in showyribbons and gay dresses, and I had no difficulty in surmising whofurnished her with the means of procuring them.
'I still continued to attend the church of the Rev. Mr. Flanders. Heused to preach excellent sermons, so far as composition and style ofdelivery were concerned; his words were smooth as oil; his manner fullof the order of sanctity; his prayers were fervid eloquence. Yet, when Ithought what a consummate scoundrel and hypocrite he was at heart, Iviewed him with loathing and disgust.
'I soon became sensible that this reverend rogue began to view me withmore than an ordinary degree of interest and admiration; for I may say,without vanity, that as I approached my fifteenth year, I was a verypretty girl; my form had begun to develop and ripen, and my maidengraces were not likely to escape the lustful eyes of the elderly rouesof our 'flock,' and seemed to be particularly attractive to that agedlibertine known as the Rev. Balaam Flanders.
'So far from being flattered by the attentions of our minister (as manyof our flock were,) I detested and avoided him. Yet his lecherousglances were constantly upon me, whenever I was thrown into his society;even when he was in the pulpit, he would often annoy me with his lustfulgaze.
'A bible class of young ladies was attached to the church, of which Iwas a member. We assembled at the close of divine service in theevening, for the study and examination of the Scriptures. Mr. Flandershimself had c
harge of this class, and was regarded by all the youngladies (myself excepted) as a 'dear, good man.' When one of us wasparticularly apt in answering a question or finding a passage, he wouldplayfully chuck the good scholar under the chin, in token of hiscommendation; and sometimes, even, he would bestow a fatherly kiss uponthe fair student of holy writ.
'These little tokens of his amativeness he often bestowed on me; and Ipermitted him, as I considered such liberties to be comparativelyharmless. He soon however went beyond these 'attentions' to me--he firstbegan by passing his hand over my bust, outside my dress, and, growingemboldened by my suffering him to do this, he would slide his hand intomy bosom, and take hold of my budding evidences of approachingwomanhood. Once he whispered in my ear--'My dear, what a delicious bustyou have!' I was by no means surprised at his conduct or words, for his_faux pas_ with my frail mother convinced me that he was capable of anyact of lechery. I also felt assured that he lusted after me with all theardor of his lascivious passions, and I well know that he waited but foran opportunity to attempt my seduction.--I hated the man, both for hisadultery with my mother, and his vile intentions towards myself--and Idetermined to _punish him_ for his lewdness and hypocrisy--yes, punishhim through the medium of his own bad passions, and in a manner thatwould torture him with alternate hope and despair; now inspiring himwith rapture by apparently almost yielding to his wishes, and thenmaddening him by my resistance--at the same time resolving not to submitto his desires in any case. This was my plan for punishing the hoarylibertine, and you shall see how well I carried it out.
'I did not discourage my reverend admirer in his amorous advances, buton the contrary received them in such a manner as might induce him tosuppose that they were rather pleasing to me than otherwise. This I didin order to ensure the success of my scheme--I observed with secretsatisfaction that he grew bolder and bolder in the liberties which hetook with my person. He frequently accompanied me home in the eveningafter prayer meeting; and he always took care to traverse the mostobscure and deserted streets with me, so as to have a better opportunityto indulge in his licentious freedoms with me, unobserved. Not contentwith thrusting his hand into my bosom, he would often attempt to pursuehis investigations elsewhere: but this I always refused to permit him todo. He was continually embracing and kissing me--and in the latterindulgence, he often disgusted me beyond measure, by the excessivelibidinousness which he exhibited--I merely mention these things to showthe vile and beastly nature of this man, whom the world regarded as apure and holy minister of the gospel. Though old enough to be mygrandfather, the most hot blooded boy in existence could not have beenmore wanton or eccentric in the manifestations of his lustful yearnings.In fact, he wearied me almost to death by his unceasing persecution ofme; yet I bore it with patience, so as to accomplish the object I had inview.
'I have often, upon the Sabbath, looked at that man as he stood in thepulpit; how pious he appeared, with his high, serene forehead, hiscarefully arranged gray hair, his mild and saint-like features, hissnow-white cravat, and plain yet rich suit of glossy black! How calm andmusical were the tones of his voice!--How beautifully he portrayed thehappiness of religion, and how eloquently he prayed for the repentanceand salvation of poor sinners! Yet how black was his heart withhypocrisy, and how polluted his soul with lust!
'One New Year's evening--I remember it well--my parents went to pay avisit to a relative a short distance out of the city, leaving me incharge of the house; the servants had all gone to visit their friends,and I was entirely alone. I had good reason to suppose that the Rev. Mr.Flanders would call on me that evening, as he knew that my parents wouldbe absent. I determined to improve the opportunity, and commence mysystem of torture. Going to my chamber, I dressed myself in the mostfascinating manner, for my wardrobe was extensive; and glancing in themirror, I was satisfied of my ability to fan the flame of his passionsinto fury. I then seated myself in the parlor, where a fine fire wasburning: and in a few minutes a hurried knock at the door announced thearrival of my intended victim. I ran down stairs and admitted him, andhe followed me into the parlor, where he deliberately took off hisovercoat, and then wheeling the sofa in front of the fire, desired me tosit by him. This I did, with apparent hesitation, telling him there wasnobody in the house, and I wasn't quite sure it was right for me to stayalone in his company. This information, conveyed with a well assumedmaiden bashfulness, seemed to afford the old rascal the most intensedelight; he threw his arm around me, and kissed me repeatedly, then hishand began the exploration to which I have alluded. I suffered him toproceed just far enough to set his passions in a blaze; and then,breaking from his embrace, I took my seat at the further end of thesofa, assuring him if he approached me without my permission, I shouldscream out. This was agony to him; I saw with delight that he wasbeginning to suffer. He begged, entreated, supplicated me to let himcome near me; and at last I consented; upon condition that he shouldattempt to take no further liberties. To this he agreed, and seatinghimself at my side, but without touching me, he devoured me with lustfuleyes. For some minutes neither of us spoke, but at length he took myhand, and again passed his arm around my waist. I did not oppose him,but remained passive and silent. 'Dear girl,' he whispered, pressing meclose to him--'why need you be so cruel as to deny me the pleasure oflove? Consider, I am your minister, and cannot sin: it will therefore beno sin for you to favor me.'
'Oh, sir,' I answered, 'I wish you were a young man--then I couldalmost--'
'Angelic creature!' he cried passionately--'true, I am not young, butLove never grows old--no, no, no! Consent to be mine, sweet deliciousgirl, and--'
'Ah, sir!' I murmured--'you tempt me sorely--I am but a weak giddyyoung creature; do not ask me to do wrong, for I fear that I may yield,and how very, very wicked that would be!'
'The reverend gentleman covered my cheeks and lips with hot kisses, ashe said--'Wicked--no! Heaven has given us passions, and we must gratifythem. Look at David--look at Solomon--both good men;--they enjoyed thedelights of love, and are now saints in Heaven, and why may not we dothe same? Why, my dear, it is the special privilege of the ministryto--'
'Ruin us young girls, sir?' I rejoined, smiling archly. 'Ah, you haveset my heart in a strange flutter! I feel almost inclined--if you aresure it is not wicked--very sure--then I--'
'You are mine!' he exclaimed in a hoarse whisper, with frenzied triumphgleaming in his eyes. I never saw anybody look so fearful as he didthen; his form quivered with intense excitement--his features appearedas if convulsed--his eyes, almost starting from their sockets, wereblood shot and fiery. I trembled, lest in the madness of his passions,he might forcibly overcome me. He anticipated no resistance, imaginingthat he had an easy prey; but, at that very instant when he thought hewas about to intoxicate his vile soul with the delicious draught ofsensual delight, I spurned him from me as I would have spurned the mostloathsome reptile that crawls amid the foetid horrors of a dungeonvault.--That was the moment of my triumph; I had led him step by step,until he felt assured of his ultimate success: I had permitted him toobtain, as it were, glimpses of a Paradise he was never to enjoy; and atthe very moment he thought to have crossed the golden threshold, toenter into the blissful and flowery precincts of that Paradise, he washurled from the pinnacle of his hopes, and doomed to endure the bitterpangs of disappointment, and the gnawings of a raging desire, never tobe appeased!
'Thus repulsed, my reverend admirer did not resume his attempt, for myindignation was aroused, and he saw fierce anger flashing from my eyes.I solemnly declared, that had he attempted forcibly to accomplish hispurpose, I would have dashed out his brains with the first weapon Icould have laid my hand to!
'Humbled and abashed, he retired to a corner of the room, where heseated himself with an air of mortified disappointment. Yet still hekept his eyes upon me; and as I knew that his desires were raging asviolently within him as ever (tho' he dare not approach me,) I devisedthe following method of augmenting his passions, and inflicting furthertorture upon him:--In my strugg
le with him, my dress had become somewhatdisarranged and torn; and standing before a large mirror which wasplaced over the mantle-piece, I loosened my garments, and whilepretending to examine the injury which had been done to them, I tookespecial pains to remove all covering from my neck, shoulders and bosom,which were uncommonly soft and white, as you, my dear, can testify. Thesight of my naked charms instantly produced the desired effect upon theminister, who watched my slightest movement with eager scrutiny: heceased almost to breathe, but panted--yes, absolutely _panted_--with theintensity of his passions.--Oh, how my heart swelled with delight at theagony he was thus forced to endure! Affecting to be unconscious of hispresence, I assumed the most graceful and voluptuous attitudes I couldthink of--and he could endure it no longer; for--would you believeit?--he actually fell upon his knees before me, and groveled at my feet,entreating me, in a hoarse whisper, to kill him at once and end historments, or else yield myself to him!
'My revenge was now accomplished, and I desired no more. I requested himto arise from his abject posture, and listen to me. Then I told him allI knew of his hypocrisy and wickedness--how I had become aware of hiscriminal intercourse with my mother, which, combined with his vileconduct and intentions in regard to myself, had induced me to punish himin the manner I had done, by exciting his passions almost to madness,and then repulsing him with disdain. I added, maliciously, that my ownpassions were warm and ardent, and that my young blood sometimes coursedthro' my veins with all the heat of sensual desire--and that were a man,young and handsome, to solicit my favors, I _might possibly yield_, in athoughtless moment: but as for _him_, (the minister) sooner than submitto _his_ embraces, I would permit the vilest negro in existence, to takeme in his arms, and do with me as he pleased.
'All this I told the Rev. Mr. Flanders, and much more; and afterlistening in evident misery to my remarks, he took himself from thehouse. After this occurrence, I discontinued my attendance at his churchand bible class. When my parents asked me the reason of mynonattendance, I refused to answer them; and at length they becameenraged at what they termed my obstinacy, and insisted that I should notfail to attend church on the following Sabbath.--When the Sabbath came,I made no preparation for going to church; which mother perceiving, shebegan to apply the most reproachful and severe language to me. Thisirritated me; and without a moment's reflection, I said to her angrily:
'I can well conceive, madam, the reason of your great partiality to theRev. Mr. Flanders; your many _private interviews_ with him havewonderfully impressed you in his favor!'
'Wretch, what do you mean?' stammered my mother in great confusion, andturning pale and red alternately.
'You know very well what I mean, vile woman!' I cried, enraged beyondall power of restraining my speech, and perfectly reckless of theconsequences of what I was saying. 'I was a witness of your infamousadultery with the hypocritical parson, and--'
'As I uttered these words, my mother gave a piercing scream, and flew atme with the fury of a tigress. She beat me cruelly, tore my hair andclothes, and being a large and powerful woman, I verily believe shewould have killed me, had not my father, hearing the noise, rushed intothe room, and rescued me from her grasp. He demanded an explanation ofthis extraordinary scene, and, in spite of the threatening looks andfierce denial of my mother, I told him all. He staggered and almost fellto the floor, when I thus boldly accused her of the crime of adultery;clinging to a chair for support, he faintly ejaculated--'My God, canthis be true?'
'It is false--I call Heaven to witness, it is false!' exclaimed mywretched and guilty mother--then, overcome by the terrors of thesituation, she sank insensible upon the carpet. My father summoned aservant to her assistance; and then bade me follow him into anotherroom. Carefully closing the doors, he turned to me with a stern aspect,and said, with much severity of tone and manner:
'Girl, you have made a serious charge against your mother; you haveimpugned her chastity and her honor. Adultery is the most flagrant crimethat can stain the holy institution of marriage. If I believed yourmother guilty of it, I would cast her off forever!'
'I laughed scornfully as he said this, whereupon he angrily demanded thecause of my ill-timed mirth; and as I detested his hypocrisy, I boldlytold him that it ill became _him_ to preach on the enormity of the crimeof adultery, after having been guilty of that very offence with hiskitchen wench! He turned deadly pale at this unexpected retort, andstammered out--'Then you know all--denial is useless.' I told him how Ihad witnessed the affair in the kitchen, and reproached him bitterly forthe infamous conduct. He admitted the justness of my rebuke, and when Iinformed him that Mr. Flanders had attempted to debauch me, he foamedwith rage, and loaded the reverend libertine with epithets which weredecidedly uncomplimentary. Still, he doubted the story of my mother'scrime--he could not believe _her_ to be guilty of such baseness; but heassured me that he should satisfy himself of her innocence or guilt,then left me, after having made me promise not to expose him inreference to his affair with the servant girl in the kitchen.
'Upon leaving me, my father immediately sought an interview with mymother, who by this time had recovered from her swoon. She was in herchamber; but as I was naturally anxious to know what might pass betweenmy parents, under such unusual circumstances, I stationed myself at thedoor of the room, as soon as my father had entered, and heard distinctlyall that was said.'