“Jessie, you go and take a look for me please, I can’t do it.” Panic was tearing at my insides. I had to know, but at the same time I didn’t want to know. Lord knows this is a can of worms I couldn’t deal with right now. Why couldn’t my life be simpler than this? One day I get attacked by an egotistical maniac and then the next, I’m sitting in a living room waiting for my pregnancy results. Life couldn’t get much better than this!
Jessie rises from her seat and walks into the bathroom. She comes out holding the little stick and I can’t gage her reaction. She’s giving nothing away making me jealous of her straight poker face.
She sighs turning over the stick. “Looks like you’re going to be a mom.”
I look at the two pink lines feeling the shock of this worse than what happened yesterday. It was all too consuming.
“When are you going to tell, Jake… oh shit, was it that night in the hotel?” she asks.
I quickly nod my head as it was the only time Jake and I had been together intimately since my period.
“Oh shit, I got you knocked up, didn’t I?” She starts laughing, but the situation is far from funny.
“Jessie, this is a catastrophe. Do you know how pissed Jake is going to be when he finds out? He made this big thing about wearing condoms all his life because of what happened with Matthew, and now I’ve gone and fucked it all up. He put his trust in me that I was on the pill, and now look what I’ve done. Oh God, what am I going to do?”
“Well, you can always have an abortion.”
“Jessie, hell no. Never!” I protest.
“Well, that’s settled then. You’re going to be a mother, like it or not.”
I know what she says is true, the baby’s coming and there is nothing I can do about it. This situation just puts me back to where I started. How can I go to Jake now after finding this out? I couldn’t do that to him.
“So, when are you telling Jake? You have to tell him at some point. I hate to tell you, but in about three more months it will be a lot harder to hide.”
I sigh, “I know, I just need a little time.”
“Ana, always with the time. How much time do you need?”
“I need to get my head wrapped around this, Jessie. I’ve only known about the baby in the last few minutes. Give me a break.”
She winces, “Sorry. I didn’t mean it to sound as harsh as it did. You do whatever it is you feel you have to. I won’t back down on my word. I’m here for you, no matter what.”
I was grateful for that. “Thanks, Jessie.”
“Listen, I was going to hit the gym. You’re welcome to come with me as long as you take it easy. Jerry’s out with a client today and I’m meeting him later tonight. He’s taking me to a fancy restaurant in DC.”
“Wow, sounds awesome. I’ll be fine, you go ahead. I think I’ll go shopping and clear my head.” Maybe I need to buy some shoes again. It worked for me last time.
Jessie heads off after having a little bit of what she cooked earlier. I just nibbled on some toast as I still felt shitty as hell.
When I was ready, I went to Tyson’s, trailing through the shops. My mind wasn’t really in it. I was going through the motions trying to think about what was happening to me and what this would mean for Jake and I.
I was coming out of a clothes store when I spotted Jerry linking arms with a blonde woman. She looked a little younger than him, about my age. She laughed at something he said, and he pulled her in for a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I stood there fuming. This looked more to me than a client, the little shit.
I saw him clasping onto a jewelry bag and that was it. My feet went stomping towards him before my brain could engage. He saw me coming and smiled.
“Ana, hi, how are you?”
“Don’t Ana hi me, Mr Show Me The bleedin Money. What do you think you’re doing?”
“Jerry, who is this?” The blonde lady asked.
“Yeah Jerry, care to explain who I am to the lady?” He can see how upset I am and tries to calm the situation.
“Ana, there’s been a misunderstanding. This is my sister, Jessica. Jessica; this is Ana, Jessie’s best friend.”
Oh shit, could the floor swallow me up now? “I’m so sorry, it’s just that Jessie said you were out with a client and then I see you here looking intimate with another woman and I just put two and two together.”
“That’s okay dear, it’s easily done,” Jessica said.
She smiled at me and I was grateful that it didn’t seem she was angry with me.
“Mr Show Me the Money. I like that,” she smiled.
I laughed and apologized again as that was all I could do. I look at the jewelry bag again and Jerry spots me.
“My sister here helped me out today. I gave Jessie the client excuse to come here with Jessica. Can you keep a secret for me? Just until tonight?”
“Sure, as long as it’s a good one,” I winked. I could tell it was. I knew what he was going to say and I was over the moon for her.
“I’m planning to ask Jessie to be my wife. I know it’s a little soon, but I love her and can’t think of a world without her in it. I want to marry her and make her the happiest woman on earth. Just like the way she makes me feel.”
I gave him a big hug telling him that he must say that to her tonight, as she will be putty in his hands. I tell him his secret is safe with me before leaving him to be with his sister.
I make my way back home glad of the distraction from my own problems. Jessie was going to be engaged by tonight, I was sure of it. I couldn’t be happier for my best friend.
I smiled all the while she was getting ready and it made her really agitated. I loved the fact that I had one over her for a change and I clearly showed it. She kept asking me what the hell was wrong with me and I kept saying, “Nothing,” and laughing. She was mega pissed with me by the time she left for their meal.
Sure enough that night he asked her, and sure enough she said yes. She couldn’t wait to tell me the news before heading round to Jerry’s for lots of ‘pre-marital sex,’ as she called it. Jessie sounded like she was walking on the clouds and she deserved every bit of her happiness. I have no doubt that Jerry will be a good husband to her and the thought helped me sleep better that night.
Chapter 22
The next few weeks went by and it was torture. I felt so ill and alone it was unreal. Every morning I was sick and it didn’t stop until I slept. A couple of weeks after finding out I was pregnant, I went to the doctors to get the pregnancy confirmed and to have me registered with the clinic. The doctor stuck a probe up me, which was not pleasant at all. The only thing that took my mind off it was seeing the tiny little blinking dot of the baby’s heartbeat. I felt enamored despite the situation I was in. I was glad the baby seemed to be doing okay.
I got an estimated date for the 2nd July and she asked me how I was feeling. I told her that I had been terribly ill and it doesn’t seem to stop. I had lost quite a bit of weight and felt so tired all the time, but Dr Foster said I looked and seemed healthy enough. She suggested giving me tablets for the sickness, but I told her that I didn’t want to put anything in my body that could jeopardize the baby. She smiled at that one, but told me that I didn’t have to suffer in silence.
The situation with Jake was getting worse. The more the weeks went on the more we seemed to be growing apart from each other. I kept remembering what Jamal said to me about the flowers stopping—and now that they had, it frightened me to death. We hardly said a word to one another and I knew it was all down to me that the situation had gotten this far.
In the back of my mind I still thought about Alan and what he did. He was always going to be there in one form or another whether he is dead or not. The nightmares had stopped and I was glad of that. They were only replaced by Jake though, which seemed even more torturous.
A few people went on that trip to the Bahamas but I was too sick to go. Jessie didn’t go in the end either as Jerry couldn’t make it, so we just planned that wee
kend together. This began the craving for ice cream. Jessie seemed more than pleased about getting me craters of the stuff if it meant I kept it down. It was about the one thing I could, apart from maybe chocolate.
I tried to be there for Cindy’s birthday party. She had just turned eighteen and was as happy as ever with Matthew, which was great. What was not great was the fact I felt so sick. I had to make my excuses and leave early, as I didn’t know how long I could hold out before I puked, or passed out.
By the time I was eleven weeks, things seemed to be dying down a bit with the sickness. I was finding that I was still sometimes sick in the morning, but the rest of the day went in without a hitch. In fact, Jake was starting to look too damn irresistible to me. I even found myself staring at him at times fantasizing about what he could do to me.
We had a presentation one morning and I couldn’t help but drool over him the whole time. In mid talk he caught me playing with a pen in my mouth and he hesitated somewhat, stuttering out his next words. I was like a horny bitch on a stick and I wanted Jake to lick me all up! Lord knows what the hell he was talking about. All I could do was watch every movement he made. It was almost like I had gone deaf the whole time I was there, as nothing—apart from him being in front of me—existed.
After the presentation, Jake called to me to stay behind as everyone went out the door. I felt I was in trouble about something, but I didn’t know what.
“So, what did you think about the presentation? Do you have any thoughts?”
Oops, busted. “No, not at all Jake. It was all very good.”
He didn’t stop there. “So what part of it did you particularly enjoy then?” he asked, smiling.
I started shifting from one foot to the other, but all that was doing was making my pussy throb for him. My God, I wanted him now more than ever. I know my desire for him is like nothing else, but this just seemed ten times more powerful. I felt I was going to explode at any minute.
I smiled, placing a finger on my lips forgetting how much this turned him on.
“All of it, Jake. You’re always very good at everything you do.” I felt I nailed it there. I was probably way more seductive than I should have been, but hell, if he wants me now, he can fucking take me, I don’t care.
“Ana, what are you up to?” He had this impish grin on his face as he looked across at my body.
“Is there something different about you?” he asked, thoughts ticking away in his head.
That was all it took to snap me out of it. “No, nothing, I have to get back to work unless you wanted to talk to me about anything else?”
He smiles noticing my indifference and shakes his head. “No, that’s fine; I’ll speak with you another time.”
I ran out the door as fast as my legs could carry me, dragging Jessie out of her seat.
“Ana, what are you doing?”
I pulled her into the coffee room but a lady called Katie was in there, so I dragged her to the toilets instead. Luckily no one was here so I was able to talk. “I need sex, Jessie... like desperately.”
She starts laughing, “Well don’t look at me for help. I’ve already told you, I don’t swing that way. Besides I’ll be Mrs Maguire in a few months.” She chirps out the last few words obviously deliriously happy at the thought.
“God, I need a drink and I can’t drink. Double shit with a cherry on top.”
“Just calm down, Missy. It’s your hormones; they’ll do that to you. Sometimes you just can’t help it.”
Can’t help it? I thought I was about to die I felt so consumed by it all. Just about anything and everything was turning me on. Even the thought about being the toilets did it for me. I just imagined Jake taking me in one of the cubicles. It just about nearly made me come on the spot thinking about it. Shit, I needed to calm down.
Later in the day I received an email from Jake asking me if I can get some murder statistics for the year, back to him by tomorrow afternoon. I emailed back telling him sure thing, but I was thinking it may be best to get in early tomorrow for a head start.
I rushed back home, stopping along the way to fetch some ice cream. That was another thing I kept dying for and the weirder the flavors the better. I bought some Banana Split, Cherry, and Chocolate Fudge Brownie. Boy was I going to have fun eating that when I got home.
I mixed a scoop of everything together, Jessie watching in mild disgust.
“You know all you have to do is ask and you can have some. I’m not that stingy. I don’t mind sharing, no matter how pregnant I am.”
“That’s okay; I think I’ll pass on that. Anyway, I wanted to tell you. Jerry and I set a date for the 17th July for our wedding. I’m hoping you would have had the baby for definite by then. I would like my maid of honor out of the hospital on my big day.”
She looked at me beaming and I screamed, hugging her closely. “Nothing would make me happier than that, Jessie. Well, apart from ice cream and sex of course. Whoa, hold up a sec, ice cream and sex. What a mind-blower that would be.” I pause for a minute imagining Jake licking Chunky Monkey off me and I shiver.
“I don’t want to know where your mind just went for a minute there.”
“Sorry?” I ask bewildered from my thoughts.
“Never mind, I’m ordering pizza. Do you want some?”
My face lit up, “Oh yes please, maybe I can mix it with the ice cream. Can you get pepperoni? I could really do with a pepperoni pizza right about now.”
Jessie stares at me and the ice cream, shaking her head. “Sure thing, Missy. Whatever the pregnant lady wants.”
Chapter 23
I’m standing on the stage in a crowded theatre. The stage is dimly lit and Jake is hovering over me. I close my eyes forgetting that there are people watching us. I want him so much it hurts. I don’t care if people watch; I just need him like I need oxygen.
I’m wearing a purple gown and Jake has a suit and bow tie. He looks sexier than ever in it—if that’s at all possible. I just want him to ravish me as hard and as fast as possible. He moves in closer to me and pushes me up against the edge of the stage. He throws my hands up high above my head and gently traces his hands down my arms, toward my torso and down to my waist. I cry out in pure ecstasy. Having him close like this doing the things he’s doing is all I have been dreaming about.
He lifts my gown up deliberately taking it slow to prolong the agony I feel. I just want him inside me it burns. His hand moves up my thigh and squeezes the top, edging closer to my panties. I moan like I do every time he squeezes my thigh. He tugs on my panties and they rip apart in his hands.
I’m suddenly lifted up into the air and positioned so he could enter me. I know we’re being watched and I just don’t give a damn. As I always said, I’d take him anytime, anywhere, as long as I felt him near me. Inside me.
I feel his cock thrust his way into my throbbing pussy, and the scream that escapes me radiates across the theatre. I’m so loud, and I so don’t care. He just feels way too good.
He starts pounding into me hard like his life depended on it. I feel I’m getting close, real close. I know I’m going to fall apart just like I do every time with Jake. I’m just about to come when I wake up moaning and crying into my pillow at the loss. My hand is on my breasts squeezing and my finger makes its way down to my clit. I start to rub myself there so I can feel my release when the alarm goes off.
“Damn fucking alarm,” I shout, throwing the thing on the floor.
“Ana?” I hear Jessie shout, knocking on my door.
“Come in, Jessie. I’m okay.”
Jessie walks through and looks at me quizzically. She has a smirk on her face, so I can tell she’s up to mischief.
“I wonder what you were dreaming about just then. ‘Oh Jake, please Jake I need you. Jake, please fuck me.’ Does that sound familiar to you?”
Oh God, now I’m talking in my sleep? “Oh shit, how much did you hear?”
“Enough, dear girl. You definitely need that seeing to. What are
you doing up so early anyway? You don’t normally get up at this time?”
“I need to get in early so I can get these statistics done for Jake. I know it won’t take me that long, but I just wanted some quiet time to get it under way. I thought getting in early would give me a head start.”
She smiles at me, heading for the door. “I’ll see you in a bit then,” she says, making her way out.
When I got into work I was as thirsty as hell. As soon as I dumped my bag on the desk I went over to the kitchen. Not a lot of people were about as it was early, and all the admin staff were still due to come floating in.
I took a huge gulp of water and let the coolness trickle down. I walked over to the sink and didn’t realize it was wet. I went flying, but I was saved by a set of powerful arms—Jake’s arms. He looks down at me and my heart beats like a drum. I managed to gain some composure as he pulls me up.
“Are you okay? You were lucky I came by when I did.”
I stared, I couldn’t help it. I wanted to pounce. I felt so turned on just by being in his presence, that any sound couldn’t be heard by the heavy beating of my heart through my ears.
I studied his face and his eyes, those eyes that make a wild animal melt just by looking into them. He had forgotten to shave this morning, so he had a five o’clock shadow. And boy did it not help make him any less sexy. In fact, he was even hotter with it, if that ever was at all possible.
He wore a white crisp shirt that accentuated every tone and muscle in his torso. He was like the famous naked male statue of David—perfect in every way.
I couldn’t help licking my lips, he just looked super sexy. If we were not in the kitchen at work, I would demand he take me anywhere and anyhow he wanted. I just needed to feel him inside me so bad I ached. The ache had been around for days, especially since yesterday. What the hell was wrong with me?
“Ana?” He moved closer, a frown forming across his face.