When a Part of me Died
Sigh..... it was one of those days that I wished I could be all alone, where I could release all the burdens off my shoulders. Ironically, I found myself sitting in one of those traditional coffee shops with a cup of tea in front of me, looking at the sky and how peaceful it was; the only thing that annoyed me was a gray Persian cat that was running all over the place. I didn't mind her being there; I just wish she stopped all the running around. When I just decided to drink the tea a young man-early twenties began approaching me with a look on his face, as if he recognized me while I was in doubt of who he might be. when he stopped directly at my table "Hi Greg, do you remember me?" he said.
Looking at him I knew I had seen him somewhere but I was still clueless "sorry but my memory is not in shape today" I replied, in any other day with a better mood I would have definitely remembered him, I mumbled in my head.
"I’m Joseph, I was your neighbor. I know I was younger when we moved out, that’s probably why you don’t recognize me. What about a reminder?” I looked at him and nodded, awaiting the reminder he had offered, "I am the one who drew the elephant on your car".
I laughed, remembering him, he was just 13 years back then and he used to make fun of my weight all the time.
"Hope you are not planning to make fun of me now, Joseph" I spoke openly conveying I remembered him perfectly well.
"Not at all, I am all grown up" he replied
"I can see that" I said whilst appearing how much taller he became.
"What are you doing in here?" he asked.
"Trying to relax"
"Hope I am not bothering you?" he queried in a natural tone.
"Not at all Joseph, I’m quite bored to be honest. Maybe you can cheer me up” I answered, trying my best to liven up a little
Looking at me Joseph hesitated to ask on what happened to me. I just kept quiet drinking my tea, when he curiously asked, “Have you ever made wrong choices?"
I stared at him wondering what he meant. "What I mean is in choosing your life partner" he continued.
It didn't need much of intelligence to realize that he was in doubt of his choice or should I say choices. Looking on how manly he had become, there must have been many females running behind him. I nodded my head in agreement, of what he had asked
"How did you know? Was she your first?" he asked.
Having two questions in the same time, I decided for some reason to answer the second question first. This could be a debatable matter, I think I did that because the human mind works revised ways, as in when the mind gets multiple questions it acts with the last one first dealing with the first question last.
"Well my first choice was my best, it was god’s wish that we are not together now" I replied, just when I was about to answer the first question, he chased me with another question "if you aren’t together anymore that means you made a wrong choice" confusedly he ask. With this question, I stopped to think, that this might have been the reason of my burden, I didn’t realize it earlier because of my denial so I thought of speaking it all out "would you like to listen to my story and judge my choice if you have time?" I asked.
"sure" he replied, I straightened myself as if I was going to give him a lecture or even give a speech in public "if you get bored at any moment tell me and I will stop" I commented.
Joseph nodded his head accepting.
“When I was in high school I was full of life, did things that boys in my age wouldn’t do just for the sake of experience or even fun, I never concentrated in my classes or home works. The only time I would do so was when exams got close by. After school, I joined a hotel management institute. Carrying my old school habits with me, as the exams were close by, for a change I decided to study in the library located near my home. Just because it was quite and it was my first time ever to visit one, it was around 10am as soon as I entered the librarian looked at me and asked me to come back at 3pm! I was curious; why only that time?
This is when I came to know that morning until 3pm is for females only and male timing starts after that. I went home and never went back until Thursday, as per the librarian that is the only day, which is gender mixed as they work half day, thought it would be fun flirting around while studying it might help me more, looking at all the beautiful girls who would be there.
It is Thursday, and as I entered to the library I looked around and got shocked; there was a divider between the male and female sections, I tried to study for couple of hours after this shocking fact and I couldn't do so, it was boring more then I ever thought. So I decided to leave, getting out of the library door reaching towards the main gate is when I saw her.
The prettiest girl I ever saw passing that gate, walking towards the library door. I suddenly found myself doing the moonwalk; she had a smile on her face looking at me, I was still walking backwards when she passed by me and for the first time I ever saw eyes like hers. We exchanged a less then a second eye contact, for some reason it felt like the world suddenly started moving slower, her eyes were as if raindrops fell on green leaves, sparkling as the sunlight passes through them. I felt my heart was about to explode it was beating so fast. That was the first time in my life to hear my heart beats.
Suddenly time went back normal and this is when I realized that she entered the library and disappeared behind those walls. I refused to go home without talking to her or having her number so I kept on waiting until she came out, holding to that thin-line of hope wishing luck would be by my side at that moment and that I might be able to talk to her. I wanted to wave or even hint to her, to meet outside the library but luck wasn't by my side at that time, her parents were waiting for her in the parking space.
I sat cursing my luck when an internal voice in my mind said “every Thursday” now i know what to do; I will be here next Thursday waiting for her. The days passed like years and it killed me I wished that I had a time machine I would had jumped directly to that day. Finally, after a long struggle it is Thursday and there I am along with the librarian who just opened the library doors at 8am. I sat on the car-park benches waiting for her, at 11:30am I finally saw her entering and what a luck she is not alone she had her friend coming along with her, which made talking to her privately seemed to be mission impossible. Her friend was like her shadow; to me she was like her bodyguard, even if I wanted to tempt her to allow me talk to her friend, it would have been impossible. She was short and I never had a good connection with short people including my cousins, they would turn aggressive towards me someway or another. Therefore, I had to come up with a plan to get around it, and I failed talking to her at that time also so I kept my head high and convinced myself that next week would be the day.
I went home and started thinking of what should I do to get around her friend if ever she comes with her the next time? I came up with a plan and hoped it would be successful. It is Thursday and I went back at the same time and waited just like I did the last time, but this time I had my friend with me. And as I expected her friend did come with her and also my luck showed up the library was full so they had to sit outside on the bench, walking confidently towards them I asked the girl I had my eyes on if I could talk to her. and her bodyguard friend interfered threatening to throw me with the soft drink she had in her hands, and here was my friend’s Steve queue to start destructing her.
He approached her and started flirting with her that she didn’t like, the plan succeeded but it turned the parking area to a battlefield of soft drinks. I took my chance gathered my strength and asked her to give me 5 minutes of her time and meet me at the mall next to the library where I would be waiting. I excused myself and walked towards the mall around 45minutes later she comes in suddenl
y my tongue started shivering and my heart was beating as fast as a Ferrari and there she was standing in front of me with those beautiful eyes, I tried talking but suddenly I felt so dump.
I had to gather all my powers and courage just to say, “Hi am Greg”.
and went back to silent mood she had an innocent smile mixed with her blushed cheeks “I am Diana” she replied, suddenly the mall was empty and she was shining like an angel, I don’t know how long I kept on staring before I hear a voice asking “what is wrong? “.
It was her voice; it shivered my body all over, I came back to earth just to answer her “I would like us to be friends maybe more” I didn’t say that directly, I don’t remember what I said before that. However, I do remember that I talked a lot before that and then handed her a small piece of paper that I prepared in advance with my cell number written.
She took it and ran when I kept on watching her go, few days had passed and didn't hear anything from her, then I started going back to the library for almost three weeks and she was a no-show. Kept my hopes tight that she will call, when my friend Steve used to tell me to forget her and that she won't call.
I kept on wishing for her to call until one day when I came back home I saw a letter with my name on it, “who would that be?” I asked myself I was not used to people sending me posts and I don't have mailing friends! I opened it and couldn't believe how stupid I was! I gave her the library ID card instead of that piece of paper. In the library card I found my key, she kept her number with a smiling face drawn on it, I didn't think twice before I call her and there she was on the other side I could hear her voice she was sleeping. She was an angel in everything. However, I didn't want to but I had to excuse myself and ask her if I could call her back when she is a weak? She refused to hang up and I just followed her.
We agreed to take it slow and get to know each other; we spent our days talking on the phone or even meeting up at the library, on some occasion, I had the chance of meeting up with her in a coffee shop or a restaurant. Days did pass before I realize that it took us almost six months before I tell her how much I loved her. I always thought that women are selfish beings until they become mothers. she was the one to change all that, she was the one who changed me to be the man I am now, I don't care about those sayings and lectures they give about respecting females and all.
Because all that I know is respecting females, is as if I am respecting her now. "Why did you break up then?" Joseph interrupted to ask curiously, "you will know everything if you still have time to hear me" I replied, he said nothing except that he nodded allowing me to continue.