“Kotyonok, what did I say?” I could hear him moving behind me, but I couldn’t turn to face him. I couldn’t handle what he had just said. I couldn’t handle any of this.
He had proposed to me—or in true Adrian fashion, had commanded it—something I didn’t think would ever happen with us. Even though it was what I wanted, I couldn’t give him what he wanted in return.
My tears blinded me as I moved around the bedroom. I couldn’t look at him, couldn’t tell him that as much as I would have loved to have given him more little Theos to fill this big, beautiful house with, I couldn’t.
He caught me around the waist and carried me back to the bed. “You’re maddening, you know that? Do you take pleasure in twisting me like this?”
“Of course not,” I whispered. “I love you.”
“Then why haven’t you said yes?” There was real pain in his voice now, his eyes pleading down at me for an answer that I wasn’t sure I could give him right then without breaking into a million pieces at his feet.
Sitting on the end of the mattress, he pulled me between his legs before locking them behind my knees so I couldn’t run away. Clasping my hands in both of his, he lifted them to his lips then placed them on his chest, holding them there. “Talk to me, Victoria. I don’t know what I did wrong if you don’t tell me.”
I tipped my head back, trying to hold back the tears, but they fell anyway. “It’s not anything you did. You’re perfect. I love you. It’s me. I’m the defective one. I can’t …”
I felt his heart stop under my fingertips, his body stiffening. “You can’t, what?” His voice was lower, as if he were afraid to speak any louder. As if he were afraid of my answer.
“I can’t give you what you want,” I told him, finally forcing myself to look at him. I had survived telling him about my illness, but I didn’t think he understood the full extent of what it meant. Of what my body could and couldn’t do because of it.
“I want a lot of things, but what I want most is for you to marry me. Are you refusing me?” He tightened his hands over my fingers still resting on his chest. “Are you saying no?”
“I want to marry you,” I whispered, breaking a little more on the inside. “I want that so much it hurts to breathe. But, I can’t … We can’t ever have children. I can’t give you that, cuore mio.”
Understanding lit his eyes. “Because of your diabetes?”
I nodded, the tears falling in rivers down my cheeks.
He released a relieved breath. “Fuck, love, I thought you were telling me you wouldn’t marry me.”
“I would marry you tomorrow if I could,” I confessed, tracing my fingers over his heart that was beating wildly now. “I would love to raise Theo with you here in this house, but I can’t give you the rest, Adrian. We can never have our own children. My kidneys are already feeling the strain of my disease and there is a big possibility I will need a new one before I reach thirty.”
“I love you, not what you can or can’t give me. I don’t want a child if it means putting you at risk.” He lifted my hands to his lips again, pressing a deep kiss to the backs of each one, his eyes trapping and holding mine. “We will raise Theo as our own. That’s all I need, kotyonok. You and my brother’s son are all I will every need.”
My knees felt weak with relief and love for him. I fell against his chest, wrapping my arms around his neck as I kissed him, putting everything I felt into every brush of my lips on his.
He dropped his hands to my waist, pulling me up onto his lap. I automatically straddled his waist, feeling his still hard cock pulse against my inner thigh once, before he was pushing it up into my pussy.
Catching hold of my hair, he pulled on it until our gazes locked. “Marry me.”
“Yes,” I breathed, then moaned as he pushed deeper into me. “Yes, Adrian, I’ll marry you.”
He flipped me onto my back, then thrust into me roughly, as if he had lost the control he normally had over himself. “Fuck, I love you, kotyonok.”
I couldn’t repeat the words because I was too busy screaming his name as I came for the first time.
The first of many that night.
Epilogue
Victoria
The sound of happy chatter coming from the playroom had me pausing outside the door and peeking in. Theo’s dark hair was a little on the shaggy side and fell across his forehead as he pushed his favorite train along tracks that went around the outside of the playmat that took up nearly the entire room.
“Choo, choo,” he said as he came to Zayne, who was sitting in the middle of the tracks and blocking his cousin’s way. “That means get off the tracks, Z.”
“Me play trains,” Zayne complained. “Me turn.”
Theo pulled his second favorite train out of his back pocket and handed it over to the toddler. “Here, we can play together.”
“’Kay.” Taking the train, Zayne pushed the train along behind Theo as they went around the entire room.
“Is my son being a pain again?” Scarlett murmured softly as she came out of the kitchen with Zariah toddling along behind her.
I grinned at my twin as I shook my head. “No. He’s being reasonable for once.”
She rolled her eyes, but they glittered with happiness as she looked in at our sons playing together. Zayne, the spitting image of his father, could be a little monster at times, but Theo always took special care of him and his twin sister when they came over to play.
I never got tired of watching the kids together, could have stood there all day and never grown bored. But right then, I had a house full of guests and dinner to finish making.
Pushing away from the door, I bent to pick up my niece and positioned her on my hip as we went back into the kitchen.
Scarlett waddled behind me, looking both miserable and glowingly happily. She stroked her left hand over her abdomen lovingly, the huge rock on her ring finger nearly blinding me as it glittered in the overhead lighting. “I’m glad they get along so well. Makes me not worry so much when the twins come to stay with you for a few days while I’m delivering this one.”
I touched a hand to her distended belly, my heart melting when I felt my niece kicking against my hand. I couldn’t wait to meet little Ciana in less than a month. Even more, I couldn’t wait to get to spend a week with the twins. Theo loved our house, and we had settled into our little family with minimum issues, but I knew he got lonely sometimes.
Putting Zariah on the edge of the island beside the kitchen sink, I washed my hands then finished putting the antipasti together. My sister, along with Ciro and Papa, were having dinner with us tonight, something that had become a tradition over the last two years. Every Sunday, they came over to our house and we spent the entire evening together.
From the family room, I heard raised voices. Scarlett and I both shared a look.
“Do you want to see what they’re arguing about or should I?”
“It’s your turn,” Scarlett grumbled, opening the oven to check on the lasagna that would be done soon. “I went last week and had to put my husband in time-out while yours pouted like a child until you gave him dessert.” She straightened and shook her head. “They act more like children than the actual children.”
“If only their enemies could see the way they are on Sundays. They wouldn’t tremble in their boots so much,” I teased.
Scarlett’s lips twitched, fighting back a laugh. “Yeah, but come Monday, they’re back to being scary and deadly.”
Grinning, I wiped my hands off on a dish towel then hurried to the family room when I heard Papa’s voice rising above Ciro and Adrian’s.
“You two are insane. There was no way that was a foul. He’s just a pussy. Can’t take a little bump.”
“He pushed him back five feet; how is that a little bump?” Ciro growled.
“Just accept that the US is going to win this one, Vito. Stop being such a sore loser,” my husband told him, stuffing a handful of popc
orn into his mouth.
I stepped into the room, finding the three men spread around the room with their eyes glued to the flat screen that took up nearly half the opposite wall. A soccer game was on with Italy taking on the US team, and Italy was losing by two.
This was how it was whenever they watched sports together. Oddly enough, it was usually Adrian and Ciro who teamed up and argued with Papa. I thought that Papa secretly enjoyed verbally sparring with those two.
Seeing me, Adrian pushed to his feet and crossed the room to wrap his arms around me, pressing a tender kiss to the middle of my forehead and making me weak in the knees. “How are you feeling?” he asked quietly so only I could hear him.
I touched the tips of my fingers to his scruffy jaw. No matter how many times he shaved, it was back to being covered in scruff within a few hours. In the last few months, my doctor had been suggesting that dialysis might be something I needed in the near future, but for now, I wasn’t worried about it. “I’m good. Excited to tell them, though.”
Happiness shined out of his dark eyes. “Me, too, kotyonok.”
Turning in his arms, I glanced over at my father and brother-in-law. “Guys, play nice. Get washed up. Dinner will be ready in just a few minutes.” Standing on bare tiptoes, I kissed Adrian on the lips then went back to get dinner finished and help set the table.
Twenty minutes later, everyone was sitting at the long table in the dining room, plates full of delicious smelling lasagna, salad, and crusty garlic bread. Everyone was eating and laughing, and I was so happy I knew I was going to cry.
Adrian, sitting at the head of the table, reached out and took my hand, before calling everyone to attention.
“Victoria and I have news we want to share with you.”
From the other end of the table, Papa turned from talking to Theo. Those two adored each other, and Papa treated him just as much like a grandchild as he did Zayne and Zariah. It had eased something in my soul when he had been so accepting of Theo, something I hadn’t even known needed soothing until I had seen them interact together. Our relationship had only strengthened since I had married Adrian and adopted Theo.
All eyes now on us, Adrian lifted my hand to his lips before speaking again. “This past week, Victoria and I finalized the last of the paperwork for the adoption. We’re going to Russia tomorrow to pick up our daughter.”
“Oh, Tor.” Scarlett was the first to speak, tears already filling her eyes. “I’m so happy for you.”
Tears filled my own eyes, spilling from the corners.
I got to my feet when she stood to hug me, wrapping my arms carefully around her. “I’ve been dying to tell you,” I whispered in her ear. “But I wanted to surprise you.”
She sniffled and laughed. “This is definitely a surprise. I’m so excited. I’m going to be an auntie again.”
Behind me, Papa and Ciro were congratulating Adrian with pats on the back and hearty handshakes.
As I turned, Papa pulled me into his arms for a tight hug. “Congratulations, tesoro. I know how much you’ve been wanting this.”
I hugged him back, burying my tear-stained face in the jacket of his suit. “Thanks, Papa. I’m so excited. And nervous.”
So, so freaking nervous.
Becoming Theo’s mother had been one of the happiest days of my life. That day, as we had signed the papers and the judge had proclaimed me his mother, he had shyly climbed onto my lap.
“Can I call you mama now?” he had timidly asked.
I had blinked back tears as I had pushed his hair back from his eyes and kissed the top of his sweet-smelling hair. I had taken over caring for him from the second Adrian and I had set our wedding date.
“If that is what you want to call me, Theo, then I would be honored for you to call me mama. But if you don’t feel comfortable calling me that, that’s okay, too.”
He had wrapped his little arms around my neck and had held on to me tightly. “I love you. I want you to be my mama.”
My heart had never been so full as it had been that day.
But taking care of Theo was one thing. He was out of his toddler years and in a private grammar school now. Our daughter was only a few months old, and I was scared I was going to be out of my depths. What if I fucked it up? What if she didn’t like me? What if she hated me? We had only met Sofia once, when she had barely been a month old, and I had fallen in love with her as soon as she had been placed in my arms.
But that didn’t mean she was going to love me back.
Papa cupped my cheek with one hand. “You’re going to be a wonderful mother, Victoria. I know you don’t remember your own, but she was an amazing mom. She was like a momma bear with you girls and Cristiano. Just as you are with Theo. And as you will be with your new daughter.”
I hugged him again. “I love you, Papa.”
Ciro hugged me next, something that always surprised me whenever he did. I knew I wasn’t his favorite person in the world, but he still cared about me.
I gave him a squeeze then stepped back, right into Adrian’s arms.
“The next time you come for dinner, my little family will be complete,” I told everyone.
“Wait! You need a baby shower,” Scarlett cried as Ciro helped her take her seat again. “Crap, Tor, how am I going to get this organized in a week.”
“Call my mother,” Ciro said with a smirk. “If she can put together a wedding like ours in a week, a baby shower won’t be a problem.”
“You’re right.” She beamed up at her husband. “And I need to call Allegra and Nona, and …” She broke off to stuff a piece of bread into her mouth. I could see her making mental notes even as she chewed. “Don’t worry, Tor; I’ll make sure you have the best baby shower ever when you get back.”
Later that night, once everyone was finally gone and Theo had been bathed and put to bed, I fell onto our bed, knowing sleep wasn’t going to come easily. I was too excited. I would get to hold our daughter soon. Get to hug her and kiss her and rock her to sleep every night.
Adrian came out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his waist, momentarily distracting me from my excitement.
A sexy smile lifted his lips as he dropped down beside me on our bed. “I finally have you all to myself.” He kissed me slowly and sensually, making every thought in my head evaporate. “I love you, Mrs. Volkov.”
I combed my fingers through his damp hair. “I love you more, Mr. Volkov.”
“Your father was right,” he murmured, stroking a hand down my belly, but stopping shy of the top of my sleep pants. “You are an amazing mother to Theo, and you will be the same way with our Sofia.”
“Stop it,” I whispered, fighting happy tears for what felt like the millionth time since the final paperwork went through. “If you make me cry again, I’m going to dehydrate.”
“I love making you so happy you cry, kotyonok.” He brushed another kiss over my lips. When he pulled back, his face was solemn. “I promise you, you won’t ever have to cry sad tears again.”
“You can’t make that promise, Adrian. You know you can’t stop everything from hurting me.” I grimaced, allowing myself to think of my brother for the first time all day. “Hasn’t the last two years shown you that?”
“But I hate to see you sad, love.”
“I’m not sad right now, though, am I?” I pushed thoughts of Cristiano and everything that had happened to the back of my mind, pulling my husband down on top of me. I let his weight and warmth ease the ache I always got when I thought about my beloved brother. “Let’s not think about sad things. In fact, let’s not think at all. We’re taking Papa’s jet to Russia in the morning. We can sleep comfortably on there while Elissa tends to Theo. Make love to me all night, cuore mio.”
“Whatever you want, kotyonok.”
Playlist
Crying in the Club by Camila Cabello
Periscope (ft. Skylar Grey) by Papa Roach
Now Or Never by H
alsey
At My Best (ft, Hailee Steinfeild) by Machine Gun Kelly
Don't Kill My Vibe by Sigrid
Coming Home by Falling in Reverse
Shape of My Heart by Theory of a Deadman
Lies in the Dark by Tove Lo
Your Song by Rita Ora
What Ifs (ft. Lauren Alaina) by Kane Brown
I Can't Breathe by Stitched Up Heart
Break A Little by kristen
Let Down by Palisades
I Have Questions by Camila Cabello
Terri Anne Browning, His Mafioso Princess
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