He shook his head. “Jill—”
“No, you have to listen to me. This”—I pointed at the folder—“means nothing. You’re different. You’re better than this.”
He looked at the folder, his expression bleak. “How can I be different or better when the proof is right there in front of us?”
“You can be different because anything else is unacceptable.”
His gaze snapped back to me. “So whatever you say goes, is that how you want to play this?”
“Pretty much.”
“And last night . . .”
“Last night was a little glitch.”
“I wouldn’t use the word glitch to describe what happened. I could have hurt you—I could have killed you.”
“But you didn’t. And I’m still here. I’m not running away because I believe in you. Everything’s going to be okay.”
I meant it, too. I’d never been a major optimist in my life, but one of us had to be. I had to find out what Matthias knew, how to fix this and make it so Declan could be different from the others. But I didn’t understand—if there was a way, why wasn’t it common knowledge to prevent disasters like the ones in the folder?
His expression tightened. “It might be a good idea if I left. Sorted through this on my own.”
The panic I felt deepened. “No. That’s a seriously bad idea.”
“You’ll be better off without me, Jill. And if you’re not going to leave, maybe I should.”
“No, Declan. Please—” My voice cracked. “Say you won’t leave me. Say you’ll stay with me no matter what.”
He was silent for a long moment, studying my face. “Why do you want me to stay?”
“Because I—” I swallowed hard. “I need you. I think I’d be lost without you.”
“I get the feeling that Matthias would be happy to help you find yourself if you let him.”
I glared at him. “Fuck Matthias. Seriously.”
That earned a full, deep laugh from him. “I think he’d like that, actually. Just try not to bleed around him.”
I was surprised how emotional I was getting over this. I prided myself on being fairly tough, considering everything that had happened. I might not have Declan’s muscles, but I was a survivor. I did what I had to do. But this had thrown me. It hadn’t occurred to me—even after the close call with Declan’s violent side last night—that he’d suggest leaving me. “Say it, Declan. Please. Say you’re not going to go anywhere.”
His Adam’s apple shifted as he swallowed hard and stared at me for a long moment. “Fine. I’m not going anywhere.”
I inhaled. “Promise me.”
“I promise.” He shook his head and a humorless smile played at his lips. “I’m all yours, come what may.”
I grinned shakily. “You and me till the end.”
“Let’s just hope it doesn’t come to that.” He drew closer to me, took my face between his hands, and looked deeply into my eyes. “You scared the shit out of me last night.”
“Bleeding from my eyeballs isn’t a very good sign, is it?”
“No, it sure the fuck isn’t.”
I wanted to touch him so badly, but I kept my hands at my sides. While I didn’t want to believe what he’d said—that being a dhampyr went hand in hand with what happened between us—I didn’t want to play with fire. I didn’t think the motel could take any more damage.
I frowned. “Did you say that one of the dhampyrs you found is still alive?”
“Yeah. It’s a female, too. She’s in her early thirties. An impressive age, given what I’ve recently learned.”
“Show me.”
He went to the file folder and sifted through the papers for a moment before he pulled one out. “The source I was talking to said she’s being kept at a vampire-run amusement park not too far from here.”
“Being kept?”
“As a prisoner.”
I drew in a breath. “How can you say that so calmly?”
“Which part? The dhampyr being kept against her will or the fact that there’s an amusement park run by vampires?”
“The first part. Although the second is equally as disturbing.” I looked at the handwritten piece of paper. Declan’s penmanship left a lot to be desired. Attached to the location and name, which was Jade Connolly, was a picture. “This is her?”
“According to my source.”
She was pretty, with freckles on her nose, and long flowing red hair. She didn’t look like much more than a teenager in this picture, so I figured it was probably taken at least ten years ago.
I chewed my bottom lip as I stared at the picture. “Wouldn’t she be in danger from the Amarantos Society? She’s female.”
“From what I’ve heard, the dhampyr must be less than two years old in order for the immortality ritual to work properly. Unlike Sara, she’s in no danger from them.”
I almost jumped right out of my skin when there was a sharp knock at the door. Declan pushed me behind him before he moved toward it, glancing out from the curtained window before opening the door.
“How did you know we were here?”
“Hey, Dec.” It was Noah’s familiar voice. “Great to see you, too. Lovely day today, isn’t it? Matthias told me where you two lovebirds were holed up.”
Declan opened the door wider so I could see Noah standing there wearing jeans and a tan T-shirt under a leather jacket.
“Jill!” He was smiling. “You look—well, uh, you look pretty good all things considered.”
“Thanks,” I said dryly. “I feel like a million bucks.”
He stepped into the room and glanced around at the damage and bloodstains. “Is this one of those theme motels ? Like this is the death and carnage room?”
I grimaced. “Not exactly.”
“Then I’m hoping you didn’t pay with a credit card because they are so going to charge the shit out of you if you did.”
I tried to keep my hope at seeing him from rising too much. “Have you found out anything about the Nightshade since last night? About Declan’s serum?”
His cheery expression faded. “I’ve been trying. Really. But I’m not having much luck. I’m sorry, Jill. It’s just that the parachemist who developed it didn’t keep any notes other than those in his head, which, of course, Declan put a bullet through. I downloaded the computer files and some email exchanges between him and Carson before I left the compound, but there’s nothing that I’m finding very helpful.”
I felt a fresh well of disappointment flow through me, but I couldn’t say I was surprised. “And what about Declan’s serum?”
“Same people developed it as his original dhampyr serum. Nothing nefarious there.”
“Forget about the serum,” Declan said. “Jill had an issue last night that’s very serious.”
“I know.” Noah grimaced and shot me a pitying look. “Matthias already told me about it. Bleeding eyeballs are not a good sign, like, ever. Looking into removing the Nightshade is a lost cause. It’s too late for that.”
“So what I do I do?” I asked. “Just give up?”
“No, don’t be ridiculous.” He took a deep breath. “I’ve been thinking about this pretty much nonstop for the last week. I’ve decided the fusing potion is the best bet for your continuing survival. It’s what Dr. Gray said before the monster dhamp ate her.” He cringed and glanced at Declan, but he didn’t react at all to the mention of his birth mother’s violent demise. “I think if Jill takes a shot of it every two weeks like clockwork, it’ll keep things steady. I brought another vial of the fuser for you to keep in reserve.” He pulled it out of his pocket and placed it on the table. “Ta-da.”
I eyed it. So that was my Plan A. I’d been hoping for a nice and easy Plan B, but that hadn’t happened. Instead I’d met face-first with a brick wall. “I guess that’s that then.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t be more help.”
I shook my head and reached out to touch his arm. “I hoped for a miracle, but didn’t
really expect it. This will have to do.”
I didn’t let on how I really felt. That he was wrong, that Dr. Gray was wrong, and that the fuser wouldn’t make much of a difference in the long run. My days were numbered. I didn’t know how I knew it for sure, but I did. This was only duct tape to bind together a rusty car that was steadily falling apart. A human couldn’t survive long with poisonous blood flowing through their veins. I was already living on borrowed time.
Noah looked at Declan. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Like what?”
“Like you want to rip my head off.”
Declan snorted humorlessly. “I’ll try not to kill the messenger.”
“This messenger appreciates it.”
Declan’s eyes narrowed. “Didn’t realize how friendly you and Matthias were.”
Noah laughed nervously. “We’re not.”
“Friendlier than I thought,” Declan said pointedly, and Noah flinched.
Noah had been working as Matthias’s informant long before Declan knew anything about it. The news had not gone over very well. Declan had trusted Noah since he’d come onboard Carson’s research project and they’d forged a bit of a friendship. Declan didn’t trust easily—about as easily as I did—and when that trust was shattered, it was difficult to piece it together again.
“He’s dying, you know,” Noah said.
Declan’s flat expression didn’t change. “Can’t honestly say I’m too upset about that.”
“I know you don’t like the guy, but think about it, Dec. If Matthias bites it, then who’s going to stop Kristoff when he’s awakened?”
“I will.”
I looked at Declan. He hadn’t mentioned this to me before and I didn’t like the sound of it. “You’re going to stop an immortal, indestructible vampire.”
“Matthias did nearly thirty years ago. Even if he can’t be killed by normal means, I can find a way to lock him away again, and this time I’ll throw away the key.”
“Why don’t you just get him to bite Jill and then—” Noah began, but then stopped talking when he saw the unpleasant look on Declan’s face. “Oh, I see. You’ve already had this discussion, haven’t you?”
We’d had the discussion, all right. The one where Declan refused to let me even think about putting my neck on the line. And yet, here he was willing to do the exact same thing.
“How long do you think Matthias has?” My voice was tight. “He seemed to think it was only days. And he didn’t look so good.”
Noah shrugged. “No idea. Nightshade’s supposed to kill vamps right away, not give them a terminal illness.”
I walked over to the table, glancing at the file folder with all of Declan’s research in it. “Noah, what do you know about dhampyrs other than Declan?”
“A little. Not much. They’re rare. Like, really rare. And most of them are big, black-eyed monsters without the charming personality Dec has.”
If he was trying to break the icy feel in the room with some humor, he was failing miserably.
Declan moved toward me and grabbed the folder off the table. “I found another dhampyr nearby. A thirty-two-year-old female.”
“A female?” Noah brightened. “For real? Talk about a needle in a haystack.”
Declan glanced down at his notes. “The older the dhampyr is, the more unpredictable their violent natures become.”
“You’re worried about that?” Noah asked.
“The new serum isn’t working properly. There have been issues.” He didn’t look at me. “And I need to figure out a way to deal with them. And more serum isn’t the solution. I thought doing some research on others who’ve existed might help, but I haven’t found anything that I could use.” There was an edge of defeat to his voice that worried me.
No, he hadn’t found anything helpful. All he’d gathered was a pile of notes. Research material was great at giving an overview of a subject, but to really understand what was going on, he’d need to talk to one of the dhampyrs face-to-face.
I stood up from the table. “If Jade’s really being held prisoner at that vampire amusement park we need to rescue her. She could help us understand what’s happening to you.”
“You want to rescue her?”
“I’m surprised you don’t. If we talk to her, question her, she could help you figure out what to expect. Maybe she’s different from the others, which is why she’s still alive.” Suddenly it sounded like the best idea I’d had in a very long time. “Besides, no one should be kept anywhere against their will. Your informant said she was a prisoner there. Why would they be keeping her?”
“An adult female dhampyr?” Noah said. “Shit. A female her age has blood that can cure a vampire’s aches and pains and severe injuries. The female dhampyr has always been revered, almost like a goddess. Her blood is even painted the color of gold in some illustrations I’ve seen to show how valuable it is. Her blood wouldn’t be able to give actual immortality, but she’d be able to heal—” He stopped talking and looked at me. “She’d be able to heal Matthias.”
A breath caught in my chest. “How do you know all of this?”
“Consider it a bit of a side project I’ve been working on. I’d hoped it would benefit a friend of mine before he decided he hated my fucking guts.” Noah flicked a glance at Declan. “Oh, and by the way, Molly’s fine. I set her up with a family who love cats, even one-eyed flea-bitten bitches like yours. No offense.”
His voice was distant to me now because I was trying to sort out what he was saying. Jade, the dhampyr, wouldn’t have blood that could imbue true immortality like a child’s, but her blood would be able to heal Matthias and give him his strength back.
Then he could go and stop Kristoff when he was awakened. And Declan could put going after the vampire king out of his mind. I didn’t want Declan to die. Dhampyrs weren’t immortal. They might be able to heal horrific injuries in record time, but they lived the same lifespan as a human. Less by the sound of it.
A glance at the dhampyr in question made me realize that he’d been following my train of thought and the expression on his ragged face wasn’t one of approval.
“You’d offer up this dhampyr to Matthias and let him drink her blood to heal him?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said without hesitation. “In a New York minute. Are you in?”
“I’m not sure I feel quite as strongly about Matthias’s recovery as you do.”
“Then do it for purely selfish reasons. She can help you, too.” I turned to Noah. “Tell Matthias we’re going to get her tonight.”
“Awesome.” Noah nodded, although he looked nervous. “I love amusement parks. Do you think they have a Ferris wheel?”
7
THERE WAS A FERRIS WHEEL. A BIG ONE. TO THE LEFT of the expansive beachfront grounds of “FunTown,” the full moon shone high above the Pacific Ocean.
I hadn’t known what to expect of an amusement park owned and operated by vampires. I guess I thought it would be something horrible. Something with an aura of danger and death about it.
I did feel dread at the sight of it. But it was coming from me, not the park itself. I’d even been to this one a while back with my sister and her two daughters. It had been during the day then. We were here an hour after sunset due to the fact that Matthias was going to be joining us. Yes, it was me and Declan. Noah and Matthias were arriving in another car. All of us together at the park. Somehow my love of cotton candy and arcade games wasn’t the first thing on my mind tonight.
We were going to rescue the dhampyr. And she was going to help heal Matthias and figure out what was going on with Declan. Finding her and safely getting her the hell out of here as quickly as possible was the only thing I wanted to focus on.
“Stay in the car,” Declan advised as he shifted the car into park in a spot a couple dozen feet away from the entrance walkway to FunTown.
I just looked at him. “I want to help.”
“It’s too dangerous.”
&nbs
p; He’d gone out for the better part of the afternoon in search of more dhampyr information. Despite his emotionless ways, he seemed to be in a foul mood tonight. It was another sign that his serum was not working as well as originally advertised.
We wouldn’t be returning to the motel room again. I felt a bit of guilt at what the maid would think when she opened the door on the damage and bloodstains we’d left behind. But it couldn’t be helped. Declan left a stack of bills on the ruined bed that would cover most of the damage.
I put my hand on his thickly muscled arm. “It’s going to be okay. Once we get her, she’ll be able to help us. And there’s no way I’m waiting in this car.” I frowned at the strained expression on his face. “What is it?”
“You don’t get why I’m trying to keep you from all of this, do you?”
“All of what?”
“Everything. Vampires, death and destruction, pain . . .”
“Because all of that stuff sucks ass?”
He shook his head. “Sometimes I feel as if I kidnapped an angel and dragged her into the belly of hell.”
I stared at him before I smiled. “I never knew you were so poetic. But if you’re calling me an angel, I think you’re a bit delusional.”
He twisted his fingers into my long black hair, looking at it for a moment, before his gaze locked with mine. “The more I try to protect you from all of this, the deeper you sink into it.”
I knew Declan had me on a bit of a pedestal. I represented a normal life to him—a normal woman who’d been forcibly taken from her regular life and plunged headfirst into his. And he was right in some ways. I had one of the most average lives of anyone I knew. Didn’t mean it was all that happy. I had the scar on my left wrist to prove that. The deep depression I’d sunk into after the deaths of my parents five years ago caused me to take a razor blade to my wrist one horrible night.
The pain had given me second thoughts, but the scar was there to remind me that hope was not something I wanted to lose again. That moment when I touched the blade to my wrist and pressed down to see the blood well up was, emotionally, far bleaker than anything I’d had to face since meeting Declan. That darkness had come from inside of myself, not outside. Big difference there.