Emotions cloud my vision, making it hard to read through the last few pages. Rage. Sorrow. Fear. Despair. They chip away my resolve to refuse the president’s request and pull at the beliefs I have been taught to hold dear. When I finally finish my second read, I slide the papers back into the folder, fill my water bottle at the fountain, and climb onto my bike. Using the Transit Communicator to guide me, I head back to the University, taking the same path I used to get to the president’s office. The route isn’t the most direct, but getting back quickly isn’t my purpose. While I would prefer to destroy the papers the president gave me, there is a chance I will have need of the information they contain. Hiding them so I cannot be caught with them is my best option.
I spot a neighborhood where the roads and sidewalks are cracked and broken and the grass less green, and turn to enter it. The roofs of the houses sag in the middle. Boards across windows and doors signal a lack of materials to make repairs. Stairs are missing steps. Swirls of faded paint decorate the houses’ exteriors. The front yards are mostly dirt with a few patches of scraggly yellowish grass. If it weren’t for the hopeful budding of the healthy trees on the street, I would think this area had yet to be revitalized and that people did not yet live here. But they do. A rag doll sitting near the rotted front steps of a squat brown house with a porch that is carefully swept of debris and a metal shovel that is free of rust sitting outside another dwelling tell me that people are here.
Since coming to Tosu, I’ve realized that despite the best intentions of the government, it is almost impossible for a city this size to treat all citizens the same. Streets that government officials call home are repaired more frequently than those of people who do not hold influential jobs. But the run-down appearance of some areas notwithstanding, I have never seen another so poorly tended as this one. While that disturbs me, in a way I am glad. It’s clear that the government rarely if ever notices this street, so it could be a perfect place to hide the papers I don’t want anyone to find.
In the last rays of daylight, I study the dilapidated, graffiti-laden houses on either side of the roadway, ignoring those that show signs of habitation. A small one-story structure with boarded-up windows and a sagging roof catches my eye. The houses across from it show subtle signs of occupancy, but this one and the two on either side look as though nothing but rodents and small animals have gone near the front door in months.
Careful to keep to the grass so I don’t leave footprints in the dirt, I cross to the back of the house. The door in the rear hangs precariously from its hinges. I can see at least one spot where an animal has constructed a nest in the eve of the roof.
I lean my bicycle against the back of the house and walk to the door. The hinges let out a shrill protest as I shift it open. I go still and wait to see if anyone appears. When no one does, I walk inside into a small kitchen. Doors of cabinets are missing. In the center of the room, the remains of a collapsed table lie sprawled on the floor, surrounded by three wooden chairs. Leaves and twigs are scattered on the ground. Still, I search the rest of the structure to make sure this place is not in use.
The living room floor is coated in a thick layer of dust. The lone sofa in the room is so worn that springs poke through its cushions. I search the bathroom and two bedrooms. When I see no obvious signs of habitation, I pull my pocketknife out of my bag, then open the bedroom closet. Kneeling, I use the knife to prod around the floorboards. Several are loose. I pry up three, stand up to pull the folder out of my bag, remove the list of names, and tuck the rest of the papers into the spot I dug out. I replace the floorboards and pile the clothes stained with Damone’s blood on top of them. Then I close the closet door and hurry out.
I save the coordinates of this location on the Transit Communicator, then climb onto my bicycle and ride. When I reach the end of the street, I look back at the house where the papers lie hidden, knowing that if I return to retrieve them it will be because I have chosen to take up President Collindar’s charge.
And not just me. Because this task is not one that I can complete on my own. My father told me to trust no one. I have broken that edict more than once—often to my detriment. And if the president is right and there is no other way to end The Testing and the destruction to the country that might come, I may have to break it again.
Chapter 4
THE SKY IS dark as I cross under the arch that marks the entrance to the campus. Solar lights illuminate the roadways and the buildings that I pass. I see fewer students than usual. Many spend their Saturday evenings in their rooms, catching up on sleep or blowing off steam, but normally there are more than the handful of students I see going to and from the library or sitting on the benches outside the residences. The inactivity makes my heart race as I pedal across the bridge toward the vehicle shed. I store my bike and hurry around to the entrance of the residence.
“Cia.”
I jump at the sound of my name and squint into the shadows, looking for the source. For a moment I see nothing. Then a figure moves away from the trunk of the weeping willow tree into the faint moonlight.
Enzo. Of all the University students, Enzo is the one I think I most understand and the one I am more inclined to believe has my best interests at heart. He is not like the others, whose families have ties to the Commonwealth Government. He could not rely on his parents’ connections in order to get accepted to the University. Enzo worked for it. He, like me, wanted to come to the University to help better our country. That similarity and the lack of connection to those who currently lead the University are the reasons I cross the grass instead of going inside. If Enzo has been waiting outside the residence for me, the reason must be important.
As I walk toward him, Enzo looks around to make sure we are alone. When I reach his side he says, “Professor Holt is looking for you.”
I swallow hard. “Do you know why?” Does she want to know what I was doing in the city today? Does she suspect what the president has asked of me? Or is this about what happened last night?
“Professor Holt has been interviewing everyone in the residence to see if anyone has information as to Damone’s whereabouts.”
“Maybe he went to visit his family,” I say, hoping Enzo doesn’t hear the strain in my voice. Many Tosu City students use their free hours on the weekends to spend time at home. The action isn’t encouraged by University staff, but neither is it condemned. Their being able to visit those they love is just one more aspect that separates those of us from the colonies from the students born in Tosu City. Even Enzo has taken time away from his studies to make the trek to the south side of the city to see his family.
“I told her that I spotted Damone this morning from my window. He had a bag over his shoulder as he came out of the vehicle building with his bicycle. Professor Holt is checking to see if Damone went home.” Enzo looks toward the bridge as if searching for answers. After several long moments, he quietly says, “I couldn’t sleep last night.”
Five words. Enough to make my pulse pound.
My heart ticks off the seconds as I wait for what comes next. Ten. Twenty. Finally he says, “My bedroom window next to my desk faces the back of the residence. Normally I don’t bother to look outside. But I did. I saw Damone.” His head turns toward me. “And you.”
“I . . .” I what? I wasn’t there? I was, and Enzo and I wouldn’t be having this conversation if he had any doubt that it was me he saw in the moonlight. “What did you see?” My voice sounds harsh. Panicked. I’m both. If Enzo has lied about what he said to Professor Holt, I will have two choices: run or be Redirected. Maybe that is why he is telling me now. To give me a chance to flee.
“I saw Damone and you fighting. I was going to come help, but by then my help wasn’t necessary. Damone is dead, and I’m not sorry. He shouldn’t have attacked you. He shouldn’t have even been here in the first place. It’s people like him that made my father agree to help change things. He and my brothers—” Enzo looks back to the horizon. Taking a deep breath, he
says, “Look, I’m not telling you this to make you afraid. I just want you to know that I could see you and Raffe. If I could, someone else might have. Professor Holt is talking to everyone inside the residence. You need to be prepared.”
“Why are you telling me this?” I ask. “You could go to Professor Holt, tell her what you saw, and collect your reward.”
“I’m not Damone.” Enzo’s voice trembles. “He and Griffin want to be important. I want to make a difference. I promised my family I would. They’re counting on me. Selling you out to Professor Holt wouldn’t make them proud or help them. They are fighting against what she stands for. I am too.” Enzo takes several steps toward the residence and turns back to face me. “I don’t know why you were out of the residence last night or why you let Raffe help you. He’s one of them. I think you and I are on the same side. So be careful. Okay?”
For a moment we just look at each other. Enzo watching me for signs of agreement. Me waiting for . . . I don’t know. Something that tells me he really is on my side. That he is not repelled to know I am responsible for taking a life. That he can be trusted to aid me if I see no other way to end The Testing than to follow the president’s command.
Whatever he sees on my face must be enough of an answer because without another word, he turns and leaves me standing under the willow, struggling to think through what he has told me. Is it safe for me to stay, or should I pack my bag and run now while I still can?
Part of me wants to flee. If I could talk to Zeen, I know he would tell me to run. But he still isn’t answering. I want to believe that he hasn’t been able to find a place isolated enough to contact me. To think otherwise would shatter me. My brother is smart and resourceful. I just have to be patient. But I cannot wait to hear from him before formulating a plan. If I were to run, Tomas would go with me. The two of us are resourceful. We would have a greater chance of survival than most. Our survival of The Testing proves that. Running would mean I wouldn’t have to face the choice I have been given.
For a moment I look at the bridge. I imagine what it would be like to leave behind this place and everything I know. Then I turn and walk to the residence. Because there is too much at stake. I might not be able to stop what is to come, but I cannot leave without trying, or without learning what has become of my brother.
The sight of two officials in ceremonial purple greets me as I walk through the entryway of the residence. Enzo is nowhere to be seen. The minute the officials see me, the one on the left takes a step forward and says, “Malencia Vale?”
I try to keep the concern I feel off my face as I nod.
“Professor Holt asked that you report to her in the main common room once you arrived. She’ll be glad to know you are safe.”
While I am not sure Professor Holt will feel delight upon seeing me, I thank the official for his message. I then head in the direction of the common room, hoping I did not make the wrong decision when I chose to stay instead of run.
I walk down the hall to the large room that we use for residence gatherings, studying, and relaxing in between classes. Professor Holt is seated near the large stone fireplace. Her squared shoulders, her short cap of red hair, and the crimson color of her clothing give her an undeniable air of authority. Across the room, several upper-year students are standing in small groups. It only takes one of them noticing my approach for Professor Holt to turn toward me. Her almond-shaped eyes narrow behind her thickly framed glasses before she turns back to the students gathered nearby. A look from Professor Holt sends them hurrying out the door, leaving the two of us alone.
Forcing a smile, I say, “You asked to see me, Professor Holt?”
I stand motionless while Professor Holt studies me. My heart hammers as I think of Enzo’s words, the lie he swore he told, and the gray paper in my bag. In my mind I picture Professor Holt’s name written in firm black letters beneath that of Dr. Barnes. Would she understand the purpose of the list if for some reason she asked to see the contents of my bag? And what would she say if she saw the gun and the transmitters?
“Please, take a seat.” Professor Holt waves me into the faded armchair across from her.
I sit, wishing I could have found a plausible reason to stand, since I had the advantage of height and the ability to run. Sitting with my bag on my lap, I am very aware of being at the mercy of Professor Holt and the University if the answers I give are not correct.
Professor Holt leans back in her chair and asks, “Have you been experiencing any problems in your classes or with your internship?”
The subject matter catches me off-guard. I blink twice and consider her seemingly innocuous words. After being assigned to the Government studies program, my fellow students and I were given class schedules. I was assigned nine classes—the most of any first-year student. Failure to keep up with the course load is monitored closely. Some students who struggled have already been Redirected out of the University. According to my guide, Ian, I have been watched more carefully than my peers for signs of difficulty. There was something about me that Dr. Barnes and Professor Holt found troubling long before my untracked disappearance from campus this morning. Something that goes back to The Testing. Even with my returned memories, I have not been able to puzzle out what that something is. And not now, with Professor Holt staring at me, waiting for an answer.
My admitting my workload is difficult could give her an opening to doubt my abilities as a student, but saying I am managing my schedule with ease is a lie. One she will certainly call me on. Without understanding her agenda, I carefully say, “It’s a challenge to keep up with all of the work, but I’m determined to succeed.”
“I’m sure you are.” Professor Holt’s smile fades. “Damone Pyburn was determined as well, but he appears to have vanished from campus. He has not been seen since last night. When your friends could not find you, I was concerned you might have disappeared as well.”
Her eyes flick to the bracelet on my wrist. A sure sign that my whereabouts were never in doubt. I wonder if Damone’s bracelet is currently able to be tracked and if Professor Holt knows he is at the bottom of the chasm that surrounds this building. Or does the tear in the earth go too deep for her and Dr. Barnes to trace with a short-range transmitter?
Giving her an embarrassed smile, I say, “I apologize if I caused anyone to worry. I had some questions about a project I’m working on and decided to go to the president’s office to get some answers.”
If Professor Holt looks for the lie in my words she won’t find one.
Nodding, she says, “I appreciate your dedication to your studies, as I’m sure the president does. And, of course, you left before I requested that students remain in the residence so that I could discuss Damone’s unusual disappearance with all of you individually. So, you had no way of knowing that you went against my explicit instructions.”
“I would never have left had I known I was instructed to stay on campus.”
Her lips purse. “Well, now that you’re back, perhaps you can tell me whether you had cause to speak with or spend time with Damone Pyburn before he went missing.”
I consider my words carefully as I say, “Despite our being on the same team during Induction, I don’t know Damone very well. He made it clear that he wasn’t interested in being friends with colony students, so we rarely if ever spoke.”
“And yet you saved his life—twice.”
Only to end it later.
I stifle the urge to shift in my seat and say, “It was the right thing to do for my team.”
“And you always do the right thing.”
“No,” I answer honestly. “Growing up, I was taught that it’s impossible to know what the right thing always is. The best you can do is to try to do what you think is right for yourself and the people around you.”
Professor Holt stares at me for a minute as if trying to read hidden meanings in my words. Finally she says, “I have been told that you were absent from the residence twice today.”
Blood pounds in my ears. Cautiously, I nod. “I went into the city.”
“The first time was with Raffe Jeffries. Yes, I spoke with him earlier. He gave me an account of your outing. Perhaps you’d like to give me yours.”
What to say? I do not know the explanation Raffe gave Professor Holt for our leaving campus. If my answer does not match the one he gave, Professor Holt will question everything I have said thus far. And I have used my internship to cover my journey to the city this afternoon. I can’t use the same excuse for Raffe and me going out this morning.
Hoping Raffe didn’t tell an elaborate story, I say, “Raffe knows I haven’t had much of a chance to explore Tosu City. We ran into each other before breakfast and he volunteered to show me around.”
Professor Holt tilts her head to the side. “What time did you and Mr. Jefferies meet?”
Breakfast starts at seven-thirty. “Around seven, I think.” Most students don’t get up on the weekends until after the allotted time for breakfast has already begun, so the time I quoted gives less of a chance for her to question why other students didn’t see us. I can only hope the logic Raffe used to give his answer was the same I employed to create mine.
“Are you certain that time is accurate?”
I’m certain it is not, but I cannot change my answer now. Instead I force a laugh and say, “It might have been just before or just after. I wasn’t watching the time all that closely.”
“Mr. Jefferies said the two of you planned to meet this morning, but you implied it was a spontaneous trip.”
I feel color fill my cheeks and I clutch my bag as my mind races, trying to decide how best to explain the discrepancy. Out of the corner of my eye, I see someone hovering in the doorway of the common room. Turning, I lock eyes with him. His long dark hair frames his pale face and deep green eyes.
“Do you need something, Mr. O’Donovan?” Professor Holt asks. Her tone is clipped, indicating her displeasure at being interrupted.