‘It might never be practicable,’ I said.
‘Depending on the outcome of Sammael’s strategy, naturally... However, supposing the outcome is auspicious: I know what you did to Amelakiveh, and I suspect you have something similar in mind for your soulscaper, if she’s agreeable.’ He raised his brows. ‘Haven’t you?’
‘You are impertinent!’ I snapped. Beth must have told him about Amelakiveh. The boy’s transmutation was at best an indiscretion, at worst a heresy. He was supposed to have been a holy sacrifice, after all. Instead of suffering the sacred death, for which he had been raised, we had prolonged his lifespan instead and taken him into our home like a pet. We had transgressed on two counts: unauthorised transmutation and abuse of a revered ceremony. Still, I could not believe our actions were unique. Other delectable patron children, offered in holy sacrifice, must have been the subjects of similar transgressions over the years. Who knew what went on in the highest rooms of the atelier courts? Oddly enough, I had never considered introducing Rayojini to the benefits of an intimate friendship with Beth and myself. My interest in her had always been something out of the ordinary, something which transcended desire and gratification; a feeling I hoped was reciprocated. However, Avirzah’e’s suggestion did deserve consideration, if only because it might solve any problems concerning eloim security. Could Sammael object to Rayojini’s presence in our life if she was allowed the transmutation and absorbed into our community like Ramiz and Tamaris? Unfortunately, I did not know, and could not guess, how Rayojini might react if I revealed my true nature to her. She was such an independent creature; it was likely she’d furiously resent the way in which she’d been manipulated over the years. Telling her the truth might estrange her from me completely. As a human needing sustenance, the Parzupheim - who alone could grant valid permission for her change - would expect her to remain in Sacramante, which I knew would go against her roaming instincts. Unless, of course, I went travelling with her myself. As I thought about it, the idea became more attractive. Yet another of Avirzah’e’s insidiously seductive suggestions.
He had given me a couple of moments to mull over his words. ‘I do not wish to sound impertinent,’ he said. ‘Please believe that your contentment and security are foremost in my mind.’
Beth, sitting on the floor at my feet, reached out to touch my skirts. ‘I am agreeable if you are,’ he said.
I sighed. ‘Oh very well! Find Rayojini and speak to her, Avirzah’e. Do what you can.’
He held out his hand to me. ‘Sister,’ he said.
I leaned forward and curled my fingers around his. ‘I cannot call you brother, Avirzah’e,’ I said. ‘It is too... unlikely.’ There was a moment’s silence.
‘The message you sent me,’ Beth said, as if he had only just remembered it. ‘What did it mean?’ I realised he had been waiting for this moment since I’d walked in.
Avirzah’e was still holding my hand. I was afraid he would simply melt into me, if I spoke plainly. I pulled away from him. At that moment, of course, he knew.
‘Sammael taught me many things,’ I said. ‘He spoke to me about - and demonstrated too - the suppressed nature of eloim in this world. Since this education, I have been forced to change my opinion about... certain things, that’s all.’
‘The mutual sup?’ Avirzah’e said carefully.
I shrugged. ‘We spoke of that, yes, and I now believe it is something we should consider for the future. It could only improve our relationship with humanity, if we still need to share their world.’ I was beginning to feel slightly disorientated and breathless.
‘And what else?’ Avirzah’e asked. This was just what he enjoyed most; a game of words. I wanted to be calm, objective and frank; it was impossible. My eyes skittered away from Beth and Avirzah’e’s attentive stares.
‘You conjoined with him!’ Beth exclaimed bluntly. ‘You did, didn’t you! After all you said!’
‘Do not look at me like that,’ I replied. ‘You went your own way, impetuously, without me.’
‘With a stranger, though! Gimel, how could you!’
I felt absurdly unfaithful. ‘You should have been more patient,’ I said defensively. ‘Anyway, Sammael can hardly be termed a stranger. He is father to us all, in a way.’
Beth shook his head. ‘I should have been with you,’ he said.
‘But you weren’t! Did you worry about my absence when you conjoined with Avirzah’e? No!’ I hesitated. ‘You have conjoined, haven’t you?’
Avirzah’e laughed. ‘I wish you could hear yourself, Gimel!’ He mimicked my voice. ‘I’ve done it, have you?’
‘Stop it!’ I said.
Avirzah’e shrugged. ‘Well, it is hardly a subject to be coy about.’ He lay back luxuriously on his cushions, gazing at me through slitted eyes. I felt as if I was simply a character in one of his plays. ‘Yes, Beth and I conjoined,’ he said, and pointed lazily to the observatory. ‘Up there, among the stars. We became at one with the past, and with the future. Now, we are at peace within ourselves.’
His smug expression made me angry; enviously angry. He and Beth must have fondness for each other; therefore their conjunction had involved more than simple experience. It must have been a journey, a wondrous adventure, a shared instant of life. Conjunction with Sammael, for all its wild intensity, had not been like that for me. I had not become light beneath the stars with a lover. Avirzah’e had stolen that experience from me, and part of me would grieve its loss forever. In my ignorance, I had never imagined that anybody could come between Beth and myself. I had been unprepared for it, although I knew Avirzah’e would have been quite happy to pair with me instead of Beth, if I had been the willing party. I had a choice now. I could view him as an adversary or as a potential partner; it was entirely my decision. Avirzah’e would accept either role without overt complaint. But whatever I decided, Beth would still be his. My pride wanted me to walk out of there and leave them to it, but my heart spoke otherwise. I knew Avirzah’e wouldn’t make this easy for me. He was a proud creature himself. Beth was simply a malleable reed bending between two strong currents; I could expect no useful support from him. The situation would require some thought. I remembered my father’s words and vowed to make no rash decision.
‘The journey has tired me,’ I said into the silence, and stood up. ‘I need to return home and refresh myself.’
‘Gimel,’ Avirzah’e said, not moving. ‘Have you learned nothing?’
I stared down at him. He was utterly relaxed, stroking his throat. His shirt was hanging open. I could see the mark upon his chest. His fingers strayed to the wound and scratched its surface. The room filled with the perfume of his blood, the less definable perfume of his willingness to submit, and my mouth instinctively filled with fluid. I could feel the hunger frenzy within me waiting, just waiting, to be released. My decision. I could still walk out of here.
Avirzah’e undermined my resolution. ‘If you are hungry,’ he said, ‘let me nourish you. Feed, Gimel. Finish this education Lord Sammael began for you. Isn’t it the real reason you came here?’
The room swam before my eyes, and I had to sit down again quickly. I felt as if I was about to faint, and my stomach had begun to contract painfully in time to the rhythm of my heart.
‘Gimel,’ Beth said and slipped his hands into my own. ‘You are cold.’ We looked at each other for a few long moments, and I could see he understood how I felt. If I wanted to leave, he would take me home. There was no compulsion on his part. I squeezed his hands with numb flesh.
‘Show me,’ I said slowly. ‘I have to see it.’
He let go of my hands. I knew he was not hungry. I knew he had recently supped, but for my benefit, Beth pulled Avirzah’e’s shirt down past his shoulders and kissed a small mouthful of ichor from the wound on his chest. I had expected to feel as if I was witnessing an obscenity, something unnatural, but the sight of eloim feeding from eloim seemed bizarrely mundane. It was as if a memory had resurfaced in my mind; a remembered in
stinct. Beth wiped his mouth and looked at me inquiringly. The hunger had quietened within me. No urgency now, but a gentle need to taste. I kneeled down upon the floor and allowed Avirzah’e to pull me against his body. I felt like a human infant being pulled to its mother’s breast; mindlessly seeking the teat, smelling out the place where the skin was broken. His arms tightened around me, and I heard him gasp as I began to suck. The taste was intoxicating, so different from the thick, sweet fluid of the human body. I had an urge, almost, to suck him dry. His spine arched at the moment when pleasure became pain. I was virtually delirious when Beth wound his hand in my hair and pulled me away. I gasped like a swimmer who has been underwater too long, whose instinct is to try and breathe fluid. Air tasted raw and gritty in my throat. I clawed and snarled; a feral thing pulled away from her prey. My chin, my throat, the front of my gown was spotted with Avirzah’e’s blood. He lay beneath me, panting, perhaps dazed. Fiercely, I fought my way out of Beth’s hold, who cried out when I threw myself on Avirzah’e again. There was no need for him to worry. It was the mouth I sought. The kiss. The kiss. Avirzah’e weakly wrapped his arms around me. I wept into his hair.
Section Five
Gimel
‘…that I who erst contended with gods… am now constrained into a beast…’
Paradise Lost, Book IX
Sammael was sitting in my salon when I returned home. He had taken a pile of my books from the shelf and was looking through them. I was not happy to find him there, feeling distinctly shaken and dishevelled after my visit to the Tartaruchi stronghold. I had not conjoined with Beth or Avirzah’e, but the supping had become mutual and had culminated in a rather abandoned session of fleshly pleasures. I was astounded at myself, and needed time to reflect.
Sammael smiled sweetly when he saw me and made no remark on my appearance. ‘Gimel, I have come here for privacy,’ he said. ‘I hope you don’t mind.’
‘Not at all,’ I replied. ‘Treat my home as if it were your own.’ Tamaris had followed me into the room to fuss about me and I sent her off to prepare my bath. I sank wearily onto one of the couches, short of breath.
‘I will have to prepare myself,’ Sammael said.
‘For what?’ I scratched at my head; my scalp felt gritty.
‘Gimel, I am going to remember my true form. Whatever has come from Elenoen will undoubtedly to be attracted to me if I resume a more spiritual contour. It is the only way.’ He paused. ‘Have you a place where I will not be disturbed for a few days? It might take some time for me to accomplish the transformation. I have been in this body for so long.’
‘Of course,’ I said. ‘There is a room I use for projection, at the top of the house. It should be ideal for your purposes.’ In the wake of recent events, I found it hard to concentrate on the grave difficulties facing our race. The taste of, and my need for, Avirzah’e’s blood was more real to me. All I wanted to do was relax into my bath and relive everything I had experienced in the Tartaruchi stronghold. Sammael looked vaguely irritated, sensing he did not have my attention. I was being very selfish. Sammael was not as confident as he sounded. He needed to talk to me. ‘Are you strong enough?’ I asked him. ‘Remember you haven’t been out of your tower for very long, and the journey to the Strangeling was exhausting. Perhaps you should wait.’
He shook his head. ‘Impossible. Now I know that Elenoen has intruded upon this world, I shall have to deal with it immediately. Anything could have been sent through. Anything.’
‘You are hoping it is Mikha’il, aren’t you,’ I said gently.
Sammael smiled at me with chagrin. ‘You are perceptive.’
I leaned back against the couch and closed my eyes. ‘No, not that. I understand your feelings.’
‘My hope goes beyond mere personal feelings,’ Sammael said. With my eyes closed, no longer distracted by his physical appearance, I sensed that, if he spoke the truth, his hope did not extend very far beyond personal feeling. Why should he feel ashamed of that? If his relationship with Mikha’il had been anything like what I had experienced that afternoon, I understood completely why it was so important to him.
‘You are hoping to win him over?’ I asked. ‘Surely, for that reason, he would not be sent here.’ I opened my eyes and sat up straight.
Sammael was not looking at me. ‘It isn’t easy for eloim from the old world to manifest here,’ he said. ‘It takes time. I am different from all other eloim on Earth, as you will have noticed. I do not suffer from the effects of time, as the ancients do. Manifestation in this world was also far easier for me than for those that followed me. Mikha’il has the same advantage. We are brothers, remember? I know he will be contaminated by propaganda about me. He does not share my independent spirit, but there is still a chance I can open his eyes.’
‘And if you do, what then?’ I asked. ‘What is going to happen to us afterwards? Even if you can remove the threat from Elenoen, we still have other problems to deal with - the rightful occupants of this world, for example.’
He looked at me steadily. ‘I don’t know what will happen afterwards. It’s impossible to predict at this point... Have you decided what you’re going to do about the soulscaper?’
A timely change of subject. I nodded. ‘Yes. Avirzah’e Tartaruchi will deal with the problem. You don’t have to worry.’
‘I am very sorry about having to change your plans. I know how much they meant to you.’
I shrugged. ‘It can’t be helped.’
I insisted he take further sustenance from Tamaris, and then had her show him to my tower room. Meanwhile, I took my bath, and as the refreshing, fragrant water lapped over my skin, I spent a brief time indulging in delicious memories of all the wonderful new sensations I had experienced in Avirzah’e’s house, in the arms of Beth and his lover. Then, I went to my bedroom to sleep, instructing Tamaris to wake me in three hours’ time.
Upon waking, I felt alert and spry, and able to apply myself to external matters once more. The wound on my chest itched a little and I had Tamaris anoint it with salve. Remembering what Sammael had told me about how supping repeatedly from the same area caused a messy injury, I decided that, if this was going to become a regular habit, I would have to devise a way to minimise discomfort and damage. Perhaps Avirzah’e, Beth and I were too rough with each other; we would have to experiment.
I tried to contact Amelakiveh once more, but with no success. Neither could I fix myself on the presence of Rayojini. Had Amelakiveh brought her to Sacramante yet? And, if not, where were they? Avirzah’e intended to search for my soulscaper that night. I had no doubt, given his widespread information network, that he would find her if she was in the city, but I was concerned that I could not contact my dependant. Had he been intercepted, or damaged? I confided in Tamaris, who offered to search the area herself. It had been prearranged that Amelakiveh would install Rayojini somewhere close to the atelier courts. Tamaris was sure she could find him: eloim-fed humans had a peculiar affinity for each other. By following her intuition, Tamaris would perhaps find Amelakiveh and Rayojini before Avirzah’e did.
‘If you locate Amelakiveh, bring him here immediately,’ I told her.
I intended to go into deep trance for a few hours while Tamaris was away, in the hope of finding something out for myself, but in the event, did not have the time. After only an hour, Tamaris returned to the house, triumphantly bringing Amelakiveh with her. I sensed a certain animosity between them; he had not wanted to come. Strange. Did he resent anyone other than Beth or me issuing orders? He had always been a difficult creature to fathom. I interviewed him formally in my salon.
‘Where have you been?’ I demanded. ‘Why didn’t you contact me?’
Amelakiveh, apparently in penitence, sank to his knees before me. ‘Forgive me, my lady,’ he said. ‘Your soulscaper is a difficult woman to control. I have had to remain constantly by her side. It has drained my energy. I intended to contact you tomorrow, after I had rested.’
‘Where is Rayojini n
ow?’ I asked, satisfied with his explanation. There had been a lot of interference in the aether recently.
‘At this moment, she is with the patron family Tricante. They are old friends of hers. We are staying at The Temple Gate inn, a few minutes’ walk away from here.’
‘How is she?’
He smiled. ‘She is in good health and fired with curiosity for her quest. I have made sure her interest has been kept at peak level.’
‘I have no doubt of that,’ I replied, ‘but there has been a change of plan. Someone will be visiting Rayojini tonight, in order to persuade her to leave the city. I would appreciate it if, in the morning, you could augment this person’s persuasion with your own. Get her out of Sacramante, Kiveh.’
‘What?’ Amelakiveh jumped to his feet, all deference fled. ‘Why?’
‘All I can tell you is that there have been new developments. We can no longer use the soulscaper. You must get her away from here. Far away.’
‘I’m not sure she will do as I suggest. She is strong-willed...’
‘I know that, Kiveh! I know it will be difficult, but there is no alternative.’ I hesitated. ‘Naturally, she must not be harmed, in any way.’
He turned away from me, rubbing his jaw in thought. I realised I was facing an alarmingly independent soul. Had he wriggled off the leash somewhere between Khalt and Bochanegra? For some absurd reason, I suspected he had plans of his own for Rayojini, plans I had just obstructed. Was it possible he had become emotionally attached to her?
‘What are you going to do then, if not use the soulscaper?’ he asked me.
I narrowed my eyes at his turned back. Perhaps it had been unwise to tell him as much as I had about eloim affairs. ‘I do not think that is your concern, Kiveh.’
He turned round and faced me. ‘I only ask because I am worried about you.’
‘There is no need, I assure you.’ I reached out to caress his face. ‘You have done well, my beloved. I am sorry it has been for nothing. We were not to know, still...’