to bounce him. But what surprises me most isthat the thrush, Stella Starlight, keeps looking back at Hotlips likeshe notices him for the first time and is plenty worried by what shesees.
We have a short break after a while and I am telling Hotlips that theidea goes over real great, when Stella Starlight waltzes over. Hotlips'big eyes bug out and I can see him shaking and covered with goosebumps.
"You do not play like that before, Hotlips," she coos. "What did youdo?"
Hotlips blushes and stammers, "Eddie and I fix--" But I give him a kickin his big shins before he gives the whole thing away.
"Hotlips does some practicing this afternoon," I tell her, "to get hislip in shape for tonight."
She looks at me like she is looking through me, and then she turns backto Hotlips and says, soft and murmuring: "Please do not play too high,Hotlips. I am delicate and am disturbed by high sounds."
She waltzes away, and I scratch my head and try to figure out what thispitch is for. Hotlips is not trying to figure out anything; he just sitsthere looking like he has just got his trumpet out of hock for the lasttime.
"Hotlips," I say to him.
"Go away, please, Eddie," he tells me. "I am in heaven."
"You will be in the poorhouse or maybe even in jail if you tell somebodyhow we fix your playing," I warn him.
"I still feel funny feelings though, Eddie," he tells me, frowning,"like I cannot hit high notes now if I try."
"Then do not try," I advise. "One problem at a time is too much."
There is a commotion at the entrance on the other side of the dancefloor, where some people all dressed up come in. A woman is holding herhead and moaning and threatening to faint all over the place.
Frankie hurries over to us, running fidgety hands through his hair. "Forgoodness sake, play something," he almost begs.
"What gives?" I inquire.
"Flying cuspidors," Frankie says in a frantic tone. "They are all aroundthe place, like they are maybe mad at something, and a few minutes agothey buzz the ferry and get the passengers all nervous and upset. Ifthey do that again, business will be bad; maybe even now it will be bad.Play something!"
He hops out in front with his baton and gives us a quick one-two, and weall swing into "Space On My Hands," real loud so as to get people'sminds off things which Frankie wants to get people's minds off of.
Stella Starlight gets up to sing, but she looks more like she wouldrather do something else. She stares at Hotlips and at the trumpet onhis lips and begins to quiver like she is about to do a dance.
I remember she says she does not like high notes, and this song has somepretty well up in the stratosphere, especially for the trumpet section,which is Hotlips.
She is frowning like maybe she is thinking real hard about something andis surprised her thoughts do no good. Her face becomes waxy and there isa frightened look on it.
She quivers some more, as the notes go up and up and up. Then she letsout a shriek, like maybe she is going to pieces.
And then she does. Actually.
Right before our popping eyeballs she goes to pieces.
As each one in the band sees what is going on, he stops playing, untilfinally Hotlips is the only one. But the trumpet is in Hotlips' hand,and the music is coming from the recording machine we place under hischair. The notes are clear and smooth, and you can almost feel the airshaking with them.
But nobody notices the music or where it comes from. They are too busywatching the thrush, Stella Starlight.
She stands there, her face as white as clay, shaking like a carrot goingthrough a mixmaster. And then tiny cracks appear on her face, on herarms, even in her dress, and then a large one appears in her foreheadand goes down through her body. She splits in the middle like a crackedwalnut, and there in the center, floating three feet from the floor is asmall flying cuspidor.
Nobody in the room says anything. They just stand there, bug-eyed andfrightened like anything. Somewhere, across the room, a woman faints. Ido not feel too well myself, and I am afraid to look to see how Hotlipstakes this.
There is no sound, but I hear a voice in my mind and know that theothers hear it too. The voice sounds like it is filled with wire andmetal and is not exactly human. It says:
"_You win, Hotlips Grogan. I, as advance agent in disguise, tell youthis. We will go away and leave you and your people alone. We place amental block in your mind, but you outsmart us, and now you know ourweakness. We cannot stand high sounds which you can play so easy on yourtrumpet. We find ourselves a home someplace else._"
With that, the cuspidor shoots across the room and plows right throughthe wall.
"That's the engine room!" Frankie wails.
There is a sudden explosion from the other side of the wall, andeverybody decides all at once they would like to be someplace else, andthey all pick the same spot. The space ferry is pretty crowded, but wejam aboard it and drift away from the _Saturn_--musicians, waiters andpaying customers all sitting in each other's laps.
The _Saturn_ is wobbling around, with flames shooting out at all angles,and Frankie is holding his head and moaning. In the distance, you canjust about make out little specks of cuspidors heading for the wildblack yonder.
So all is well that ends well, and this is it.
Frankie uses his insurance money to open a rest home on Mars for ailingmusicians.
Hotlips is all broken up, in a manner of speaking, over StellaStarlight's turning out to be not human, but he consoles himself with agood job playing trumpet in a burlesque house where the girls wearcostumes made of glass and other brittle stuff.
* * * * *
As for me, Mamie gets me a job playing piano at the place where sheworks, and everything is okay except for one thing. When Mamie is aroundI cannot seem to concentrate on my playing. I feel a funny feeling in mystomach, like maybe it is full of supersuds or something, and my mouthis dry like cotton candy.
I think maybe it is indigestion.
Transcriber's Note:
This etext was produced from _Fantastic Universe_ August 1958. Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed. Minor spelling and typographical errors have been corrected without note.
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