It went straight to voicemail just as I was swallowing back another wave of nausea. Fuck, what was wrong with me? There wasn’t a bug going around and even if there was I’d have been surprised if I’d caught it. I rarely got ill, but there was always a first for everything.
After several minutes the dizziness passed and I wondered if I should just call Emmie and tell her I couldn’t make it. I didn’t want to get anyone else sick if I really did have a bug, yet at the same time I didn’t want to miss out on the fun. This Christmas party was important to Emmie and her family, and now that she considered me a part of her family, I wanted to be there.
Sighing, I reached for my hairdryer, determined to make it to the party.
With my hair done and a nice green dress on, I finished up my makeup. Putting on just a little gloss, I nearly jumped out of my skin when my cell buzzed. It was a text from Mieke and I smiled at the goofy picture of my daughter that was in my messages. She was standing with her new friends and cousins in front of a Christmas tree in Emmie’s living room.
Shaking my head, I closed my texts and briefly saw the date on the screen along with the time. It didn’t immediately hit me, but for some reason I glanced back down at the date…
Holy shit.
Zander
She was running late and I was running out of nerves. I knew if I’d looked in a mirror right then I’d see that my eyes were complete green. It was probably why most of my bandmates were sticking to the opposite sides of the room. Even Emmie was shooting me strange, questioning looks that I tried to ignore.
Stuffing my hands into the dress pants I’d decided to wear, instead of the usual jeans I preferred, I glared out the glass wall that looked at the Pacific Ocean. With all the lights on in the huge living room, I couldn’t see the crashing waves as they hit the beach, but I knew they were there. They mimicked the feelings crashing through me right at that moment.
Was it too soon? Was I moving things too fast? Had I been suffocating her?
The questions kept coming, each one of them sending my fucked-up head into even deeper chaos. I was probably moving too fast, but Annabelle had seemed happy over the last several months. She smiled all the time, laughed like she was the happiest she’d ever been in her life. When I wrapped my arms around her at night and pulled her close, she would cuddle against me and breathe me in deeply as if she never wanted our connection to end.
I’d promised her I’d wait until I knew she was ready, until I’d proven to her fully that she was my world and nothing else except her mattered. I wasn’t sure if I’d done that yet. Fuck, it had only been a few months. It could take years before she was truly ready for a bigger commitment with me. Yet there I was, stressing over what I wanted to do right at that second.
Soft, warm hands touched my arm and I relaxed a little as I wrapped my arm around Mieke’s slender shoulders. “Any word from your mom?”
“I sent her a text about an hour ago, Daddy. Relax. She’s just running a little late. Everything is going to be alright, okay?” She reached up and kissed my cheek, squeezing my hand as she did so.
Mieke was the only one who knew what was going on, the only one who knew why I was acting like the crazy man I’d always been accused of being. There were no smiles from me that night; no making others laugh. I was lost in my own head and I would stay lost until I had Annabelle in my arms again.
“There you are!” I heard Emmie call out with a laugh and turned to find her stepping away from a small group that included Nik, Axton, and Dallas.
She hugged the newcomer before stepping back and my breath froze in my lungs at the breathtaking sight of Annabelle in the green dress and black ballet slippers. She looked perfect, but there was something in her sky-blue eyes that told me she wasn’t feeling well.
I dropped a kiss on top of Mieke’s head without glancing at her and moved across the living room toward the only thing that brought me peace. She was talking in a quiet tone with Emmie but quickly closed her mouth when she saw me coming toward her.
The little redhead faded away, probably going back to her husband as I reached Annabelle and wrapped her tightly in my arms. Her hair was pulled back into a sexy little up-do thing and I buried my face in her neck, inhaling her clean, delicious scent like a dying man taking his last breath. I felt her shiver and couldn’t help the way my body hardened for her.
“Hey, stranger,” she murmured with a little sass in her tone.
I pulled back just enough to see her beautiful face. “Hey. Miss me today?”
“More than you will ever realize.” She lifted a hand to cup the left side of my face and I was surprised to see her fingers trembling. “There’s something I have to tell you.”
Everything inside of me froze. The look in her eyes was full of a fear I didn’t understand mixed with worry and maybe a little bit of excitement. “Tell me,” I rasped out, terrified of what was going to leave that mouth I loved to kiss.
“I love you,” she breathed, making my heart stop for two full seconds before it started pounding against my ribs once more.
In the time we’d been back together, I’d told this woman every day how much I loved her, but she hadn’t once repeated those three little words. I’d been feeling the loss of them, but knew that I had to earn them back. Hearing them now, I felt like she was offering me the world on a silver platter. It was everything I’ve ever wanted wrapped up in her silky voice.
“I love you, too.” My voice was choked with emotion and my eyes stung with tears that I didn’t try to hold back. “I love you so damn much, Anna.” I pulled the little present I’d been playing with in my pocket all day out and offered it to her. “Merry Christmas, baby.”
She started to say something else but then looked down at the little box I’d placed in her hand. Her mouth snapped shut and she carefully pulled the little silver ribbon free before opening it.
Around us, everyone went completely silent. I didn’t even think the babies in the room were whining anymore as all eyes turned to Annabelle as she pulled the gold band from the little box. It wasn’t the ring that Gram had given me for Annabelle’s seventeenth birthday, but it would match it when I slipped that little wedding band on her finger the day I married her.
That is, if she accepted this particular gold band with the five-carat princess-cut diamond that Mieke had helped me pick out earlier that week.
I watched Annabelle closely, watching for her reaction, needing to know if I’d just fucked everything up or made us whole again. Tears filled her eyes and her chin trembled. One large tear spilled from first her left eye and another followed from her right. They came slowly at first but soon were pouring out of her gorgeous eyes. Lifting her tear-filled eyes from the ring in her hand, she turned them on me, questioningly.
I cleared my throat twice before I could get it to work so I could speak. “I’ve been losing my mind for the last month, baby. I don’t mean to rush you. I’ve promised you I’ll give you as long as you need and won’t stop until I’ve proven to you how much you mean to me. None of that has changed, and if you say no now, I’m not going to give up. Fuck, babe, I don’t ever want to let you go. Please, I love you so damn much. Will you marry me?”
“Z...” she breathed, shaking her head. It felt like a lead ball fell into the pit of my stomach, and I fought back a wave of despair and pain. Then she laughed, a happy almost bell-like sound that echoed throughout the room, and she threw her arms around me. “Yes, Z. Yes.”
I didn’t hear the cheers or the claps or even the congratulations as they filled the room from our friends and family. All I heard was her soft sob of yes as she buried her face in my chest and held onto me like I was her lifeline. I held onto her for several long minutes. No one dared to approach us as we soaked up that moment of pure joy.
After a while, Annabelle lifted her head and smiled shakily at me. “I still need to talk to you.”
“So talk,” I encouraged, wiping away her tears with my thumbs. Nothing she had to say cou
ld dim the high I had rushing through my veins right then. I had everything that I wanted, everything that I would cherish right there in my arms.
Annabelle bit her lip and looked down at the ring still sitting in the box for a moment before slowly lifting her eyes again. “I think I’m pregnant,” she whispered so softly I nearly didn’t hear her.
The words and their meaning hit me dead center in the chest, and for a moment I couldn’t breathe. When at last I was able to suck in a deep breath, I wrapped my arms around the woman I loved and swung her around twice, kissing her tear-salted lips as I laughed with a happiness that went soul deep. If I’d thought I couldn’t be any happier after having her say she would marry me, I was wrong.
If she was pregnant —and somehow I could almost feel that she was —I would be the happiest man who walked the Earth. I would get to watch her stomach grow with our child this time around. This time she wouldn’t have to go through a single second without me beside her. I would love our baby more than any father had ever loved his child.
That didn’t mean I would love Mieke any less. Nothing could ever make me love my daughter any less. She was the stars in my sky while her mother was my moon, both of them lighting up the darkness I’d been living in for most of my life. Another baby would only make our family complete.
“You’re happy?” Annabelle murmured when I set her on her feet again.
I kissed the tip of her nose. “Happiest man in the world, Anna. I love you, baby.”
Her face softened. “I love you too, Z.”
Playlist
“Outcast” by Shinedown
“State of my Head” by Shinedown
“Broken” by Seether (ft. Amy Lee)
“Let Me Go” by Avril Lavigne (ft. Chad Kroeger)
“Breaking Inside” by Shinedown (ft. Lzzy Hale)
“If You Only Knew” by Shinedown
“Call Me” by Shinedown
“Like I’m Gonna Lose You” by Meghan Trainor (ft. John Legend)
“Ashes Of Eden” by Breaking Benjamin
“Burn With Me” by Amaranthe
“Let It Go” by James Bay
“Fire N Gold” by Bea Miller
“Poison” by Rita Ora
“Say You Love Me” by Jessie Ware
“Let Your Tears Fall” by Kelly Clarkson
“Sorry” by Art of Dying
“What Sober Couldn’t Say” by Halestorm
“Last Regret” by Casey Donovan
MORE BY TERRI ANNE BROWNING
THE ROCKER SERIES
Book 1: The Rocker Who Holds Me
Book 2: The Rocker Who Savors Me
Book 3: The Rocker Who Needs Me
Book 4: The Rocker Who Loves Me
Book 5: The Rocker Who Holds Her
Book 6: The Rockers' Babies
Book 7: The Rocker Who Wants Me
Book 8: The Rocker Who Cherishes Me
Book 9: The Rocker Who Shatters Me
Book 10: The Rocker Who Hates Me
Book 11: The Rocker Who Betrays Me
THE ANGELS SERIES
Book 1: Angel's Halo
Book 2: Entangled
Book 3: Guardian Angel
THE LUCY AND HARRIS SERIES
Book 1: Catching Lucy
Reckless With Their Hearts
Reese: A Safe Haven Novella
You can follow Terri Anne Browning here:
www.facebook.com/writerchic27
www.twitter.com/AuthorTERRIANNE
www.terriannebrowning.com
Coming Soon!
The Rocker Series continues with its final book, Forever Rockers.
Now turn the page for exclusive sneak peeks into two awesome books.
Blood & Loyalties by Ryan Michele
Jag by Stevie J. Cole
BLOOD & LOYALTIES
By
Ryan Michele
CHAPTER 1—CATARINA
“You stupid fucking bitch!” Antonio seethed like a pussy as he looked up from the filthy-ass floor of the bar, holding his throbbing crotch.
I laughed, tossing my head back for good measure. Bitch was the worst he could come up with? I had been called worse than that at work when I lost a client’s millions on a bum deal.
I lifted the pointed heel of my black, stiletto boot and plowed it hard into his windpipe, crushing it as he gasped for breath, his eyes wide with fear. He needed to be taught a lesson about fucking over a Lambardoni. It didn’t come without repercussions, and I wanted to be the one to teach him.
Unfortunately, I knew my bodyguards had called my brother Val. They always did when shit with me happened, and if I didn’t get on with it, Val would ruin all my fun. I was more than capable of handling this weak, pathetic asshole. Val should know that. He and my other brother D had trained me to fight and shoot a target with precision, but something about being “the sister” gave them the right to be overprotective and overbearing, even if I was older than both of them.
As I removed my foot, one of his hands wrapped around his throat as the other continued to grip his aching crotch. The stupid fucker didn’t know whether to grab his balls or neck, his arms flailing in both directions as he rolled from side to side, trying to ease the pain. He gasped for breath, the look of confusion in his eyes laughable. I did pack one hell of a powerful knee thrust, though. No doubt his balls were shoved so deep inside he could taste them in his mouth.
Wicked thoughts crept in my head. Using my best weapon of the moment—the hot ass boots my cousin Kiera had insisted I wear for the night—I picked a spot on his rib cage and began kicking it over and over, plowing into him, hoping like hell the blows would crack the fuckers. It was the least he deserved.
I moved with him at each turn he tried to make, hitting him dead in the same spot. He grunted and attempted to bat my foot away with his hands as he tried to hold himself at the same time. His less than stealthy attempts only made him look like a bigger pansy-assed bitch. It was amazing how much actual joy I felt from watching him struggle.
He tried to curl up in the fetal position, the dirt from the floor coating his clothes and both sides of his face. He groaned, taking each hit, but it didn’t feel like enough. The fucker didn’t even have the balls to really fight back.
“Catarina, what the hell happened?” Kiera said loudly at my side, trying to compensate for the music blaring in the distance. She was my cousin, best friend, and pretty much sister in every way that counts. Regardless, my focus stayed on the fucker on the floor as I stepped farther back from his withering body.
When Kiera and I had decided to come out to the club to let off some steam from a brutal week at work, I hadn’t realized I would be getting a hefty workout like this instead of on the dance floor.
I stared down at the man I’d thought loved me, who had said I was the one for him. The only one. Stupid. I should have known by now that the only reason men found any interest in me was because of my father and family. Each one seemed to want that pivotal “in” to the business, and for some reason, they thought I could get it for them.
I knew Antonio wanted to move up in the ranks with his family, but it wasn’t in the cards for him. That right there should have been a huge red flag for me, but I had trusted him when he told me if he couldn’t move up in his own family, he didn’t want to move up at all.
Lies. All fucking lies. One would think I had learned this lesson after twenty-nine years on this earth, but I kept falling for it: hook, line, and sinker. The word sucker was plastered on my fucking forehead, and the life that I craved so much was completely unobtainable. Not anymore. This would be it. This fucker would be the absolute last.
Being the daughter of a very powerful man came with a stiff price, the biggest being whom to trust, which I had learned—mostly the hard way—wasn’t many. Family was about the only ones I could, and damn if that didn’t suck ass with finding a love life.
Even women had proved too scarce in the honesty department. Most wanting to fuck my brother
s rather than actually get to know me. That was why Kiera and I had stuck together over the years. It was safer for everyone. No one else understood this life.
I wasn’t and never had been a weak person. Growing up in the Lambardoni family, it wasn’t an option. Between my father, uncle, brothers, and cousins, both Kiera and I had been taught with an iron fist—a loving iron fist—but still, a strong-gripping fist.
Glancing down at the floor, I couldn’t believe I had wasted my time on this man. I would have to thank my brother Dominic—D—for teaching me kickboxing. It proved handy, even if my technique was shit at the moment, but it was kind of hard to really show technique when the guy was on the ground.
The asshole growling under my feet thought he could profess his undying love for me and then go fuck some blonde whore in the bathroom. Mistake. Big mistake.
When he told me he was going to get drinks then headed in the opposite way of the bar, every flag in my head stood to alert. Val had taught me how to observe one’s surroundings, promising me it would come in handy one day, and that day was definitely one of them.
Throughout Val’s teachings, my eyes became sharper in viewing my surroundings and noticing key things that were out of place: a car parked somewhere it shouldn’t be or a person walking a bit to closely. I’d see it, and it would keep me on my toes.
Realizing Antonio turned down the hallway in his quest for drinks, I’d motioned for my full-time guard, Scraper—yes, that was his name—to follow him. He took off, only to report back minutes later that Antonio had a piece of ass in the women’s bathroom.
The pained expression on Scraper’s face sent me into action. I knew it was pained because of the betrayal to me, and I would be putting Antonio’s ass on a stick.