My excitement must’ve gotten the best of me. I pointed to what I thought was a penis. “Is that his…”
The technician laughed. “No. That’s actually a whole foot.”
Gia had turned her head and was watching me instead of the screen. Her face glowed and she looked so beautiful. Without giving it any thought, I leaned down and kissed her forehead. “Okay. So maybe I do sort of think it’s a boy.”
The technician finished scanning Gia’s belly and then printed off a few pictures. “First refrigerator pictures, Mom,” she said handing them to Gia. “I’m not supposed to give any results or anything, but everything looks great. Why don’t you get dressed, and I’ll have the group PA pop in to answer any questions you might have today since you’re not due to see the doctor at this visit.” She handed a bunch of paper towels to Gia. “To clean up the gel.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
The technician left us alone in the room, and Gia wiped a few tears, then began to wipe off her belly. I took the paper towels from her hand and cleaned up the mess. It had seemed perfectly natural to do, but after I’d done it, I noticed Gia was looking at me funny. “I could’ve done that.”
I tossed the paper towels in the garbage, and when I turned back around, Gia sat up on the exam table. Her gown that had been untied and pushed up, fell open. She had on a black lacy bra, and her tits were practically spilling out of the cups. Gia traced what my eyes were glued to and looked down. “I’ve gained six pounds so far, and it all seems to have went to my boobs.”
I swallowed. “Pregnancy definitely agrees with you.”
She put her hand on her belly. “I’m not looking forward to getting fat.”
Apparently her swollen breasts made me delirious. Because the thought of a curvy Gia with a big, round, full belly and a little sag to her perky tits actually had me getting hard in the doctor’s office. “You’re going to be fucking sexy pregnant.”
She thought I was trying to make her feel better. Standing from the exam table, she pointed to the chair behind me. “You’ll have to keep lying to me as I start to waddle. Can you hand me my shirt?”
Even though her gown had just been wide open, Gia turned her back to me to change into her shirt. She wasn’t normally modest about her body, so it made me think she really did think she wasn’t attractive pregnant.
A knock at the door came before I could set her straight. The PA entered and extended her hand to both of us. “I’m Jessica Abbot. I’ll be seeing you from time to time over the course of your pregnancy. Usually it’s after a sonogram or calling you with lab results. I just took a quick look at your sonogram and everything is measuring to the due date we originally anticipated. Your baby looks happy and healthy. Are there any questions you have for me today, about the sonogram or otherwise?”
Gia shook her head. “I don’t think so, no.”
“Okay. Well, you can keep up with your regular, non-pregnancy activities. Work, sleep, sex—all as usual.”
Gia glanced at me and then to the PA. “Is it normal for pregnancy to…affect your libido?”
“Yes. Very. Many women experience a decrease in their sex drive during their pregnancy. Often it’s in the first trimester and then it comes back with a vengeance toward the end.”
“Oh.”
I looked over at Gia. Her face was turning pink. She was embarrassed to ask something…maybe because I was standing next to her. I pointed to the door. “Do you want me to give you two a minute to talk?”
Gia shook her head before taking a deep breath, then turned back to the PA and said, “I think I have the opposite problem.”
The PA smiled. “Oh. I’m sorry. I misread what you were asking. Yes, it’s definitely normal to have a heightened sex drive. Every woman’s experience is individual to that particular pregnancy, and some will have an increased sexual appetite that fluctuates, whereas others might have no desire for the entire pregnancy. But you’re young and healthy, so there’s no reason not to enjoy yourself if the urge is stronger than normal.”
Fuck. Gia just told this woman that she was horny. All. The. Time.
“So…any kind of sex is okay then? I won’t hurt the baby?”
What the hell was she getting at?
“As long as you aren’t physically challenging yourself too much, yes. Your partner won’t hurt the baby, if that’s what your fear is.” She glanced at me and then back to Gia. “It’s actually a common concern in couples. So I’m glad you’re asking if it’s been weighing on your mind.”
Gia bit her bottom lip. Her pink face turned bright red now. “What about sex…without a partner?” She motioned between the two of us. “We’re not… and I wanted to ask my doctor at the last appointment, but he’s a man and he’s older…and I’d like to use a….”
While I was completely lost on what the hell Gia was getting at, apparently the secret code she was speaking made sense to the PA. “Oh. I’m sorry. Yes, absolutely. You can safely use a vibrator or any other toys that you’d regularly use. Not an issue at all.” The woman dug into her pocket and pulled out a business card. “I totally understand why asking that question to Dr. Daniels might’ve been difficult. He’s a wonderful doctor, but I get it. Please…call me any time you want to discuss anything.”
The two of them chatted away for a few more minutes, but I didn’t hear a fucking word of it. My brain was totally stuck on the fact that Gia was horny and about to go to town on herself with her vibrator.
“Is everything okay?” Rush hadn’t said one word since leaving the doctor’s office, and we were halfway to my house.
“Fine.”
“Did it freak you out to go with me? I’m sorry if it was too much to ask.”
“No. I appreciate you asking me.”
Seeing his knuckles turn white from the death grip he had on the steering wheel and listening to his curt responses didn’t make me feel like he appreciated going.
I stared down at the ultrasound pictures and tried to talk myself into believing that I was paranoid and that nothing was wrong. But I felt like I’d made a big mistake relying on Rush. It was a lot to ask of anyone, and I really needed to learn to stand on my own two feet. For the last few weeks, I’d been weighing the pros and cons on Rush’s offer to help me, to stay at his house until after the baby was born. Today made me realize it wasn’t a good idea. He had a big heart, and I believed that his offer was sincere, but it was unfair to burden anyone with my problems. I needed to set him free. As much as the thought gutted me, I knew it was the right thing to do. Like having a covered wound that hurts when you touch it, once I’d decided it was time to rip the Band-Aid off, I thought it best to do it in one quick tear. So when we pulled up to the house, I took a deep breath and turned to face Rush.
“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. And although your offer was extremely generous, I’m not going to be staying out here after our summer share is up.”
Rush had been staring out the window straight ahead even after he’d pulled to the curb. He finally turned to me. “What? Why?”
“I need to do this myself, Rush. If I’m here with you, I’m going to just keep leaning on you, and that’s not fair to either of us.”
He looked back and forth between my eyes. “I want you to lean on me.”
I touched his arm. “I know you do. Because you’re a good man, Rush. But it’s only going to make it harder to walk away at some point. And I will keep you from moving on. Look at what happened the other night when you tried to be with another woman. You’re the most loyal man I’ve ever met. I realize now that you aren’t going to move on with me out here, even though you want to. And, honestly, neither will I.” I felt tears welling in my eyes. “So I think it’s time. Sometimes you have to let go of the things you never really had.”
Rush’s head hung with his eyes shut, so I used the opportunity to get out of the car before he saw me break down. “Thanks for taking me today, Rush.”
I made it to the door holding back my emotions, but by th
e time I tried to put the key in the lock, the unshed tears had blurred my vision, and I dropped my keys on the floor. I bent down, but a large hand scooped them up before I could.
Rush’s voice was close behind me when I stood, but I couldn’t turn around.
“I’m an idiot,” he said with a strained low voice. It made my tears fall faster. I stared straight ahead at the door.
“No. You’re not. I’m the idiot.”
“You said I’m the most loyal man you’ve ever met. That’s my biggest fear. That I can’t live up to that. That part of me is just like my father. You see me the way you want to see me. Not as a man who’s fucked a dozen different women each summer and never wondered that I might be hurting them in the wake of walking out the door the next morning.”
I turned around and found tears in Rush’s eyes, too. Reaching up, I wiped one cheek with my thumb, then the other. “They were consenting adults. You didn’t promise them anything or lead them on. Loyalty is pledging the truth to yourself and others. You were always truthful in what you wanted from them. But what you’ve given me is also your truth, and it’s because you are so loyal that I have to be the one to walk away.” I put my hand over his heart. “You pledged to be there for me in here. And if I stay, you will be. Because your loyalty is unwavering. That’s the reason I have to go, because it’s your loyalty that won’t let you be the person to walk away.”
Rush looked down and took a few deep breaths. I knew showing me how vulnerable he is wasn’t easy, so I didn’t push. When he looked back up, he stared straight into my eyes. “You’ve always really had it.”
“Your loyalty?”
He shook his head. “You said, sometimes you have to let go of the things you never really had. You’ve had my love since day one. You’ve had me since day one. I was just too chicken-shit to admit it.”
My heart started to beat faster. I tried to stop it, afraid of allowing myself to get my hopes up for fear that he was saying something other than what I wanted to think he meant. But inside of my chest thundered like a runaway train.
Rush cupped both my cheeks. “Gia Mirabelli, I’m so fucking in love with you, that I can’t think straight. There’s no way in hell I’m letting you leave. Not from this house. Not from The Heights. Not from my life. It scares the shit out of me, but I realized today seeing that little boy on the screen, that I’m not just in love with you. I’m in love with that little alien you have growing inside of you already. I want it all. I want the fucked-up dolls in my closets. I want to hold your hair back when you’re puking your brains out. I want to eat Chunky Monkey with you out of the container while we lie in bed naked at two in the morning. And I definitely, most definitely, want to be the one to take care of you when you have a heightened sexual appetite.”
Tears streamed down my face. Of all the things he’d just pledged, for some stupid reason, I got stuck on the ice cream. Maybe it’s because deep down I already knew he wanted to hold my hair back and take care of me, but I thought he might be nuts for thinking he was going to want me as the months passed. “I’m going to be big and fat from all that Chunky Monkey.”
He took a step closer and ran his hand along the curve of my hip. “Bring it on. I’ve been imagining you about fifty pounds heavier and round while I jerked off the last few days. I think I might keep you that way after the pregnancy.”
I laughed, yet as crazy as he sounded, I knew he was telling me the truth. “I think you’re a little insane.”
His beautiful face turned serious again. “I’m sorry I’ve been pushing you away and making you feel bad. But I’m done being a pussy. I want you despite all of my own fears that have nothing to do with you, and despite the fact that you probably deserve someone better than me. Please forgive me, and tell me you’ll stay and be with me. Really be with me this time.”
I didn’t have to think about the question. Although I probably should’ve given him some warning that my response was going to be more than just vocal. I jumped up and into Rush’s arms, causing him to stumble back a few steps and almost fall as he staggered off the front porch. “Yes! Yes!” I planted a kiss on his teeth when he opened his mouth to laugh.
Shaking his head, he said, “Can we move this inside now? I’m thinking it’s about time we seal the deal on this relationship.”
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. I’d told Rush to make himself comfortable while I locked myself into the bathroom to get control of my nerves. I’d been with this man. He’d already seen my body naked and went down on me. And not ten minutes ago he’d professed his love for me and the unborn child of another man. Yet I was literally shaking. I brushed my teeth, rinsed my mouth and stared at my reflection a few more minutes. “He said he loves you. Now what are you waiting for?”
A soft knock came at the door. “Everything okay in there?”
“Yes. I’ll be right out.”
Ten minutes later, when I was still inside trying to will my legs to leave the bathroom, there was another knock at the door. “Gia?”
It sounded like he was right on the other side of the door. I walked over and leaned my head against it from this side. “Yeah.”
“I’m nervous, too. If it helps any.”
My shoulders loosened. “You are?”
“Yep. You scare the living shit out of me.”
I smiled, but still didn’t open the door. “Why are we so scared of each other right now, Rush?”
“Because when you finally accept that you found the one, it’s terrifying that you might lose them and then there’d never be another.”
I think my heart actually swelled in my chest a little. “Oh my God. That’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard anyone say.”
“Oh yeah?” he said. “Well, come out here and let me do romantic things to you, beautiful.”
Taking a deep breath, I unlocked the door and opened it. His smile made my knees weak as he extended his hand to me. Placing my hand in his felt monumental, like it was my heart I was surrendering. Rush had been so sweet, so open, yet none of those things made me relax like when he abruptly yanked my hand and tugged me against him hard. The little rough around the edges felt like my Rush again. My Rush.
Pressed up against him, he brought both my hands behind my back and locked them there in one of his. His other hand gripped the back of my neck, and his mouth sealed over mine.
I yelped between our joined lips when Rush scooped me into his arms and carried me over to the bed. Somehow we managed not to break the kiss while he set me down and climbed on top of me. All of the nerves I’d felt just a few minutes ago were pushed out by the carnal desire I felt for this man. The kiss that had started off warm and tender, quickly heated to hot and wild. Rush used one knee to nudge my legs open and then ground his hips down. The feel of his hard cock pressing against my center made me moan. I couldn’t wait for him to be inside of me.
Sensing my need, Rush broke the kiss and pulled back. My head was literally dizzy. He never broke our gaze as he tugged off his shirt and then slipped mine over my head. His tongue ran along his bottom lip as he looked down at my bra. When his gaze returned to meet mine, he swallowed before speaking. “Do you need gentle, baby?”
I shook my head.
A wicked grin spread across his face. “Thank fuck.”
Rush shed the rest of our clothes so fast that it felt like one of his hands stripped me and the other ripped off his pants. Settling back on top of me, he rubbed his bare cock up and down between my legs, and then pressed hard against my clit. I thought I might come from just the friction. The gleam in his eyes told me he knew exactly what he was doing to me. But two could play his game. I spread my legs as wide as they could go and slipped my hand down between us to grab him. Realizing my hand couldn’t wrap fully around his girth, I was thankful how much this man turned me on because I was ready for all of him.
Our eyes were locked as he pushed inside. He rocked his hips, easing his hard, thick, len
gth in and out a few times. I gasped when he bore down and sank deep inside of me.
Rush stilled, and I felt his body begin to shake. “Fuck, Gia. Fuck. This is where I’ve wanted to be since the day I met you. Deep inside you, just like you are inside of me.”
He took my mouth in the most beautiful kiss as he glided in and out and then returned to watching me. The green of his eyes darkened to near gray as his thrusts became more and more powerful. I had sex before, but never knew until that moment that I’d never been made love to. Our bodies became one, but it was our hearts and souls connecting that made the act so much more than physical. Everything else in the world ceased to exist except us.
Rush’s jaw clenched and he growled, “I want to fill up this sweet pussy over and over again, every fucking day.”
That was it. Whatever last bit of control I had was completely annihilated hearing the desperation in his voice. Waves began to crest. My entire body hummed with need. Tears of joy crowded my eyes. Rush reached down and lifted one of my thighs into the air allowing him to drive even deeper into my body. I moaned as my orgasm ripped through me, and Rush responded by fucking me harder and harder. He roared as he bucked one last time and planted himself as deep as he could possibly go before coming inside of me.
After, he kissed me gently as he continued to move in and out, telling me how beautiful I was and how much he loved me. It dawned on me that I hadn’t told him it back. Even though I was certain he knew, it was time. “Rush?” I whispered.
“Hmmm?” He trailed a path of tender kisses from my ear down to my neck and then up and over my chin before our lips met.
“I love you, too.”
His smile split from ear to ear. “Well, that’s good. Because I love you, too. But not Tee-Oh-Oh, too.” He climbed down my body and planted a kiss on my belly. “Because I love you, Tee-W-Oh, two.”
I loved exploring her when she was fast asleep.
As I circled my index finger around her nipple, I swore her areola looked bigger and darker than yesterday. Her body was changing every day, like a flower slowly blooming. And fuck…I loved it so much. I loved Gia so much.