My heart cracks in two as the door slams and locks.
Tears roll down my cheeks as I turn, lifting the bundle into my arms. He seems to be doing well and is already drifting off to sleep in his mass of towels. I look down at him, and something explodes in my chest. The poor, poor baby. I send a prayer out for Rae, and then I press the tiny form to my chest. I sob until my tears run dry.
I have to get out of here.
I just have to.
~*~*~*~
The baby is screaming.
He didn’t rest long, and I don’t know how long he can go on like this before he’ll die. My heart is pounding, and I keep flicking the kettle to boil over and over, keeping it hot as I wait for York to come back. I have to get free. I can’t let him take this child and do whatever it is he’s planning on doing to him. I can’t, and I won’t. I’ll save this baby if it’s the last thing I do.
It seems like it’s been hours, when in reality it has probably only been minutes. My heart hasn’t stopped pounding. Over and over, it feels like it’s being ripped from my chest and then stuffed back in again. I’m in pain, I’m tired, and I’m still covered in Rae’s blood.
Rae.
I hiccup. I pray that she is safe in the hospital right now, getting the treatment she deserves. I pray York took her and didn’t just dump her somewhere else. He wouldn’t, would he? It’s his sister, if there’s anyone in the world he cares about, even just a little, it’s Rae. Right? I don’t know anymore. I know nothing. All I know is I have to suck it up and get myself and this tiny, innocent baby boy out.
And I will.
The door clicks.
For a second, I think I’m hearing things. I glance quickly down at the wrapped baby. He seems a little pale, and I’m worried for his safety, but he’s bundled and ready to go. I clutch the kettle in my hand; it’s just finished boiling again. I know the damage it’ll do, and I hate that I have to do it, but dammit, I will. I will do whatever it takes.
I won’t be afraid anymore.
The door opens and York steps in, still covered in blood. He looks angry, wild even, and I know in that second, I’m making the right choice. I notice rope in his hands. I don’t want to know what he was planning on doing with that. I grip hold of the kettle handle so tight my fingers hurt, and I stand up. For a moment, York doesn’t pay any attention to what’s in my hands, because his eyes are focused on the baby, and he looks wild with rage.
I act quickly.
He doesn’t see it coming. I pop the top open and launch the water at him. The howl of pain he makes, I’ll hear for the rest of my life. It’s a scream of agony that I wish I never had to witness. He drops to his knees, hands clawing at his face as the water turns it instantly red, the skin already peeling off in places. It’ll damage him forever. Scar him for life. I wish I could say just like me, but I never wanted to become this monster.
I turn, reaching down for the baby when his hand lashes out, curling around my ankle. He jerks backwards, and I fall to my stomach, hitting the ground with a thump hard enough to knock the wind out of me. He moves quickly, even screaming in pain, and flattens me with his body. No. No. Please. No.
“I’ll fucking kill you,” he roars so loudly my ears ring. “Oh, God. I’ll fucking kill you.”
Something hits me so hard over the back of the head, I spin instantly. No. He’ll kill me. I have to fight. I have to get out of here, dammit. I take a shaky breath and start bucking with all my might, trying to dislodge his body from mine. I claw, I scratch, I kick, and I bite anything that comes close enough to do so. His fingers tangle into my hair, and he jerks my head back, reaching for the kettle.
No.
“You’ll wish you were never fucki—”
A loud bang echoes through the room, and suddenly my head is released and York’s body slumps over mine. Something warm travels over my back, and I know even before I hear the voice that it’s blood.
“Baylee?”
Jack.
Oh. God.
“Get him off her, fuckin’ now.”
Maddox.
Oh. God.
“Someone get an ambulance, there’s a baby in here!”
Krypt.
The body is lifted off me, and tears burst forth, rolling down my cheeks in waves. I sob so hard it hurts. Big arms curl around my body, lifting me off the ground and pulling me close.
“I’ve got you. It’s okay, I’m here. I’m here, baby. You’re safe. You’re okay.”
I clutch Jack, crying so hard I can no longer make any noise, my body just shakes.
“I’ve got you. No one will ever hurt you again. I’m so sorry.”
I nuzzle in closer, pressing my face as hard into him as I can, thanking God they made it in time. I don’t open my eyes, even when the ambulance arrives and I’m loaded in the back with the baby. I just keep my head down and my eyes squeezed shut. I don’t feel relief, I just feel ... Well, nothing right now. It’s all just too much, and my body can’t take it anymore.
So, I hang onto Jack, and I just let it all come out.
But there’s one thing I do know for certain, and I can finally feel it deep, deep into my soul.
I’m free.
CHAPTER 29
NOW – BAYLEE
“Rae?” I croak.
Jack enters the hospital room, and before he’s even had the chance to speak, I have demanded to know an answer. He’s been trying to find out what happened to Rae. I asked the second I was checked over and given the all clear. Nobody seemed to know a good deal, so Jack went out and tried to find out more for me.
“Hey.”
Jack’s voice is soft.
Too soft.
I meet his eyes, and I can see it even before he opens his mouth again.
“No,” I croak, pressing a hand to my chest. “No. Jack.”
Jack moves closer, cupping my face gently in his hands. “I’m so sorry. I’m so incredibly sorry. She was dropped off, but she bled out. There was nothing they could do.”
My body starts shaking. “She was just a girl, she had her whole life ahead of her.”
“I’m sorry.”
Jack pulls me into his arms and holds onto me as I cry for the girl lost. She might have been a lot of things, and a giant pain in the ass, but she was just a troubled young girl who never had a good chance to make anything of herself. She didn’t deserve this. She deserved to live a full life. At the very least to be free.
Maybe she is free now.
I’d like to hope she is.
“What’s going to happen to her baby?” I sob, looking up at Jack.
“He’s doing well in the nursery. He’s a little small, but healthy. The doctors don’t think the drugs bothered him, considering she only started using them in the last few weeks of her pregnancy. So it’s looking positive. I have asked Molly to find out more. She’s doing that.”
I nod, taking a shaky breath in. “She didn’t deserve to go out like that, Jack. She never even got to hold him.”
“I know, baby. Life is a fucking ugly thing sometimes.”
“W-w-w-was it my fault? Should I have done more?”
“Hey,” Jack demands, cupping my face in his hands. “Look at me.”
I look up at him, holding his eyes. “Don’t ever let me hear you say that again. You did everything you knew how for that girl. Right up until the end, you fought for her. You know it, deep down, that you did everything you could.”
“It wasn’t something I did when I delivered the baby?”
“No. I spoke to the doctor myself. He assured me even if she had delivered the baby here, she would have had the same complication.”
“But she might have lived,” I whisper.
“We can’t change that, honey. It fuckin’ sucks, but we can’t change it. You did the best you could.”
My heart starts racing. “Am I going to get into trouble?”
“Fuck no. Of course not.”
“Jack?” I croak.
“Yeah?”
br />
“Hold onto me, okay?”
“Okay, baby.”
He wraps his arms around me, and he holds onto me. So tightly I can barely breathe.
Exactly how I need it.
~*~*~*~
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Shania asks, adjusting my pillow yet again.
“Shan, I swear, I’ll scream if you don’t stop doing that,” I mutter to her.
“Don’t you start on me, woman. You had a hard time a few days ago, I’m just making sure you’re okay.”
I smile gratefully. “I’m okay.”
She narrows her eyes at me, just as Molly walks into the room followed by Matilda.
“I agree with her,” Molly says. “You had a hard time, stop arguing and let us help you.”
“I’m not even injured,” I point out to the three girls now staring down at me.
“Woman,” Matilda wiggles her finger in my direction. “Don’t start your arguing.”
I roll my eyes.
I don’t know what I’d do without them, even if I do fuss. They’ve been here every single day, helping me out, making sure I’m fed and getting enough rest. I don’t know where I’d be without them. If they’re not here, Jack is, by my side a hundred percent. I also don’t know what I’d do without him.
“Have you heard anything more about the baby?” I ask Molly.
“Yeah, as far as I know, he’ll go into the adoption system or the foster system. There is no more direct family.”
That poor baby.
My heart breaks for him.
“I wish I could do more,” I say, feeling my heart sink.
I may never be able to have children, and the idea of an innocent baby having to go into the system, waiting for someone to love him, makes me want to cry. My scars ache at the very thought of it.
I’d do anything for a baby of my own someday. Anything.
“Yeah,” Molly agrees. “It’s so sad.”
“Have you heard anything more about Rae’s funeral?” Shania asks softly.
“Yeah, it’s in two days. Nothing big, but enough for a few to be able to say goodbye.”
“How are you feeling with that?” Molly asks.
I shrug. “My heart is broken for her. I wish I could have done more. I think it’ll hurt for a while.”
Matilda leans forward and squeezes my shoulder. “We’re here if you need us. You know that, right?”
“I know,” I whisper. “Thank you so much.”
“We’re going to head out now, and let you get some rest,” Shania claps her hands together. “Call us if you need.”
I smile at them, and even though it wobbles, I keep it there.
“Love you guys. Thank you.”
They all give me a hug, and when they’re gone, I roll to my side and let a few lone tears slide down my cheeks. I’ll always be sad Rae never got the life she could have had. I don’t know what happened to York, all I know is he’s dead and that’s all I’m allowed to know. As for the little baby, I think of him the most. Wondering if he’ll have a good life. Wondering if he’ll end up just the same as Rae.
That breaks my heart even more.
A small sob escapes my lips, and I close my eyes, hugging my knees to my chest.
I don’t hear him come in, but I feel his big body slide behind mine, tucking me into him.
Jack.
The only person I’ll ever need.
I swore I wouldn’t let anyone in again after York, but Jack had a way of working himself into my heart, to the point I couldn’t imagine myself without him.
I couldn’t imagine my life without him.
“It’s going to be okay, beautiful,” he murmurs, pulling me closer. “I promise you it’ll be okay.”
And for the first time, I believe him.
I truly believe him.
~*~*~*~
“Goodbye, beautiful girl,” I whisper, running my fingers over the headstone. “I hope you find the peace you deserve.”
Taking a deep breath, I turn and walk away from Rae’s gravesite. Molly is waiting for me in the car because Jack had to leave a few minutes ago. We’re going back to the clubhouse for a cookout, which I’m looking forward to, to take my mind off the pain of the last few days.
Rae is at peace now. Which she deserves. More than anyone.
It’s finally time for me to take a step forward and move on with my life. And that’s exactly what I’m doing. I promised myself when I walked away from this cemetery today I’d do it leaving my past behind. I’d grieve for the lost girl, for the man I once loved, but I’d leave them here. I’d leave them, and the pain of my past, buried in the ground, and I’d start again.
Begin with the man I know will make me happy.
“Hi.” Molly smiles warmly when I climb into the car.
“Hi.” I smile back.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, I think I just might be.” I smile.
“I’m glad. Come on, everyone is waiting for you. We’ll cheer you up.”
I reach over and squeeze her hand, and she gives me a warm smile. The drive to the clubhouse is quiet. When we arrive, I climb out, feeling a sense of home as I stare at all the bikes lined up. These men quite literally saved my life. I owe them everything. I could never have imagined I’d get so attached to them. They’re the best people I know.
Every single one of them.
“There she is.” Jaylah smiles the second I step through the front gates. “Come on in, honey. How are you?”
“I’m good, thank you,” I say to her, letting her hug me close as we walk into the house.
“I’m glad. So glad.”
We get inside, and everyone is sitting around, just seemingly waiting for something. I narrow my eyes and glance at all of them, before turning to Jaylah. “Is everything okay?”
She smiles, and there is something behind that smile. “Everything is perfect.”
I blink. Confused.
“You’re going to need to close your eyes for me now, honey,” she’s practically bouncing, she’s so happy.
“What’s going on?”
I glance at Matilda, then Molly, then Kaylee, but they all remain straight faced. All the other bikers are just kind of lounged around, watching.
“Close your eyes.”
I do as Jaylah asks and close my eyes, wondering what the hell is happening. I keep my eyes closed, squirming a little, as I wait for whatever it is that’s happening.
“Keep your eyes closed.”
Jack.
“Jack?” I whisper. “What’s going on?”
“Trust me, baby. Put your arms out.”
With trembling hands, I do what he asks, putting his arms out. A second passes, and then something warm is placed in my arms. I know what it is before I open my eyes and glance down. My lips are already trembling when I do. Wrapped in a tiny blue blanket, and sleeping soundly in my arms, is Rae’s baby.
“Jack?” I croak, trying to fight back the tears. “What’s happening?”
“We pulled some strings. The joys of having friends in all kinds of places. He had no family. And because you took care of Rae for so long, and were listed as her caretaker in some places, they agreed to give you guardianship. If you want it. You can adopt him as your own. I know how much it hurts you, that the option to have children has been taken away from you, and I couldn’t leave this little guy alone out there, not when you fought so hard for him. There is a reason he was placed in your life, and I think that reason is he’s meant to be yours. I know you might not be ready, and it’s a big thing, but I love you, Baylee. I love every single fucking piece of you. And I want this. I want you. I want him. I want us all together.”
Tears are running down my cheeks as I look up at him. “Jack,” I whisper. “You ... you ... you ...”
He steps closer, running a thumb down my cheek. “Don’t say anything, just tell me that you love me too and you want this. Because I want it, Baylee. More than anything in my life. I want all of it. And
I want all of it with you. I know it’ll be hard, and we haven’t been together long, but I feel it, right here,” he slaps a hand over his heart. “I know you’re the one for me. So, tell me you’ll do this with me. And even if you aren’t ready to do it with me, tell me you’ll do it for him. He needs a person like you in his life.”
I stare down at the tiny baby, with his tuft of black hair, and more tears run down my cheeks. He’s perfect. He’s absolutely perfect.
“I want him,” I whisper, looking up at Jack. “But mostly, I want you. I love you, too, Jack.”
“Oh,” Jaylah croaks out. “I’m going to lose it. Give me my new grandbaby, and hug my boy.”
She takes the tiny baby from my arms, and I step forward, wrapping my arms around Jack.
Jack.
The man who didn’t give up on me when everyone else did.
Jack.
The man who believed in me even when I didn’t.
Jack.
The man who stood by my side and wouldn’t take no for an answer.
Jack.
My own personal hero.
“I love you,” I whisper, nuzzling into him.
“I love you, too.”
I step back, looking up into his eyes. “This isn’t going to be easy. It’s a baby. We haven’t even had a chance to date...I mean-”
“Hush,” Jack says, pressing a finger to my lips. “We might not have been together long, but you’re my person, Baylee. I know it as surely as I breathe. Sure, I didn’t want kids so soon, but I believe that baby is here for a reason, as are you. I’m going to throw caution into the wind, and say fuck it, because I’ve never met anyone I need in my life as much as I need you.”
I hiccup and another tear rolls down my cheek.
“And besides,” he grins, kissing my nose. “I think after what you’ve been through, poop, diapers, bottles, and lack of sleep should be a walk in the park. Don’t you think?”
I laugh softly, and cup his face. “I don’t know who gave you to me, Jack, but I’ll be grateful for the rest of my life.”
“Okay, enough of that soppy stuff, give me that baby and let’s give him a name!” Molly cries, stepping forward and taking the baby from Jaylah.