And then he knew.
He couldn’t keep fighting her. Didn’t want to try.
Screw the strings. The messy complications. The future. All the reasons he’d used to keep a distance between them that was driving him insane.
His fingers sifted into her curls as he coaxed her head back. Their eyes met. Held. “All I want is you.”
She blinked, looked closer, as if she couldn’t believe what he’d said or what she saw. When she answered, her voice had gone rough with emotion, her eyes dark with need. “God, I’ve missed you.”
He bowed down and, finding her lips open and waiting, welcoming to the thrust of his tongue, swept her into his arms. The weight of her in his hold, her soft, eager kiss, the gentle pressure of her fingers grasping and releasing at his shoulders as he carried her back to her room were sustenance to his starving soul. A balm to his battered heart.
He needed her. All of her.
Setting her to her feet within the bedroom, he broke from their kiss. Pressed his brow against hers and closed his eyes. Less than two weeks had passed since he’d last entered this space that acted as sanctuary to the woman in his arms, but tonight it felt as though he’d been away forever. Too damn long, and his own damn fault.
No more.
Hands moving to the buttons of her blouse, he parted the silk panels by increments until they hung free and finally slipped to the floor. She was beautiful standing there, staring up at him with those soulful green eyes, her fingers trembling as they worked the buttons of his shirt.
Silently, slowly, they removed each other’s clothing until they both stood naked, breath coming ragged between them. But he wouldn’t rush. No matter how much a part of him wanted to toss her to the bed and drive himself deep within her as fast he could, a greater part of him needed more. Needed to feel the heat of her skin against his own, the beating of her heart, the delicate frame of her within his hold. Needed all that was Cali. All he’d been missing.
Her fingers skimmed light over his chest, shoulders, neck, and then up to his jaw. A butterfly touch—too tentative and yet perfect. Peering up at him, she whispered, “I need you, Jake.”
A ragged groan escaped him as he buried his nose in the curls tumbling over her shoulder, held her tight against him. “Sweetheart, you don’t even know.”
Cali lay back upon the bed then, all pure, bare, soft skin, stretched out beneath him as he covered her with his body. With urgency a torrent through his veins, hard to the point of pain, he settled in the cradle of her hips.
“Cali,” he gritted out, wanting to explain—to give her something—only no words would come. How could he explain what he didn’t understand himself? All he knew was that the sensible, reasonable solution had made him miserable, and now he simply could not be without her for another day.
She shook her head, lips parting to take his kiss, arms circling his neck to draw him down to her.
He drew back, notching the wide head of himself at her opening. Then nudged forward, his teeth clenched through the exquisite agony of his overcharged nerves, penetrating the body he’d gone too long without.
Sweet, sweet Cali. She was heaven. Salvation. Decadent and essential all at once, gasping her pleasure as she took him within her.
Her lips pressed at the hollow in the center of his chest, so soft breath caressed his throat with whispers and sighs that heightened his every sense, drove his need to near desperation.
Her body arched as he pushed into the snug clasp of her, burying himself to the hilt, reaching…reaching…seeking a closeness, a union he couldn’t quite fathom, but sensed just beyond his grasp.
A thin sheen of sweat covered their skin, slicking the glide of flesh against flesh. He was lost in the rhythmic thrust and retreat, the hungry kiss of her body as his groin brushed hers with one intimate caress after another, the breathy, satisfied sounds she made at the nudging of her womb with his every stroke.
Cali’s soft pleas came steadily, her body translating the broken mindless words that fell from her lips.
More…. Like that…. Again….
She was close, and every part of his being focused on taking her there. Making her feel good.
Seeking the erect tip of her nipple, he drew it into his mouth, alternating suction with teasing licks, each pull driving her cries and answering spasms higher. His teeth closed over the tight bud, and with the point of his tongue he pushed the tender peak against the roof of his mouth.
“Oh, Jake….”
He felt her keening response in every point of contact between them. She seized harder with every thrust and lick of flesh. Clutched tighter with each retreat, until he couldn’t take it any longer. He withdrew slowly, and as he sank deep again rocked his groin, trapping her clitoris between their bodies.
His lips lowered to her ear, brushing the outer shell with his words. “Cali… Cali… Cali…let go, baby.”
Her hands clutched against him, she arched back, her body constricting time and again. Swallowing her sweet cries with his kiss, he felt tension gather at the base of his spine. Sensation pulled inward, pulsing hot through his body toward one central spot.
This was what he needed. Wanted. Had waited for. The reason he couldn’t eat, sleep, or breathe without thinking of her. Because he needed this.
To connect.
Join.
Hold.
Possess.
His mind was blanked of anything beyond his body merging with hers, again and again, until one coherent thought rose above the rush of his blood past his ears.
Mine. Mine. Mine.
He let go. The restraint he’d clung to so ferociously shattered under the hammering of his hips. He roared, body quaking, lungs burning with his release into the silky hold of her body.
Forehead resting in the crook of Cali’s neck, his body still lodged within her, Jake felt the racing beat of her heart, the heat rising off her skin, the lingering ripples of her climax. It was satisfaction of the purest and most complete variety. Relief so deep it permeated every cell of his being. It was the restoration of peace of mind… Bliss… Oblivion.
A persistent beeping and the tickle of soft curls slipping over his shoulder woke him. Cali groaned, knocking the alarm to the floor, and then dropped back beside him, arms tucked up against her chest.
Tuesday morning, sometime. Knowing the way she worked, he couldn’t even guess when. “What time is it?”
“Five,” she answered, stretching long, with one hand fisted high above her head. “I fell asleep without resetting the alarm and…and I didn’t know you’d still be here.”
He ran his palm over the rough stubble of his jaw, propped himself on an elbow to face her. “Sorry I am?”
“No,” she answered hesitantly, her focus on the sheet between them, where she traced little circles with her index finger. “But I thought sleepovers were against the rules.”
He nodded his acknowledgment at that. But the truth was he’d been breaking his rules since the minute he’d met her—the only time things hadn’t worked was when he’d stopped. And being without her had been hell. “Maybe we should forget about the rules.”
The hint of a smile played at the corner of her lips as her gaze lifted to his. “Really?”
“Yeah. You won’t be here forever, but while you are…. Let’s see what happens if we just do what feels good.”
An impish glint lit her eyes as she shifted closer, bringing her naked lower body into contact with his. “You mean drop out of society because we never leave this bed again?”
He flipped her onto her back, pinning her down with his body. “Or maybe something less drastic. We can break to order food delivery.”
“Keep your strength up? Smart.” Her knee skimmed up his side, higher and higher still, until her lower leg snaked across his butt. “You’re going to need it.”
How the hell had he thought he could let her go?
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CALI set down her sandwich and brushed a few stray cr
umbs with the side of her hand. “Okay, I think we’re good.”
Across the report-littered desk, Trish considered her top page of notes, tapping her pen against each bulleted item. “Yep. I’ll get onto Neal about pulling in his date. You handle Carl.” Then, slumping back in her chair, she grabbed her soda cup and took a sip. “We’re going to get ulcers, working through lunch like this every day.”
Cali shook her head. “That’s slacker propaganda. I’d get an ulcer if I tried to eat with so much left to be done.” Besides, working lunches and early starts left more time free in the evenings for her other activities.
Trish shook her head. “Look at that grin on you! You’re a sick puppy. You know that, right?”
It was potentially true, but Cali waved her off with a laugh. “Like you’re any better!”
Trish was still picking at her chips, taking a minute to relax before jumping back into the fray. “So, this isn’t the first borderline obnoxiously wide smile I’ve seen stretched across your face this week. In fact, I’d say they’re becoming something of a standard with you these days. Dish it up, Cali. Where’d he take you this week?”
“We went to the symphony one night. But we’ve…umm…been getting a lot of take-out.” This time Cali had to look away. Trish didn’t need to know just exactly how close to reality her hedonistic fantasy had become. They ordered in, ate in bed, ate on the floor… Once, Jake had even eaten his dessert off her.
Heat surged her system at the memory of cold, wet ice cream contrasting with the heat of his mouth—
Oh, God, Trish was still there. Crinkling her nose with disapproval as she studied her nails. “That’s it? I thought Dr. Romance was all about the trendy Chicago hotspots. I’m bored.”
Cali rolled her eyes, thankful her friend’s distraction by her manicure had kept her from catching on to just how not boring an evening at home with Jake was. They talked forever. Laughed so much she thought she’d have a washboard stomach from it before the month was through. And then, at the end of the night, he just held her. Ran his hand over her back, fiddled with her hair…and fell asleep with his arms wrapped tight around her.
“Wow,” Trish interrupted with a raised brow. “That sigh sounds serious.”
Cali felt the heat washing over her skin at the thoughts and feelings that had come in to her head. What could she say without giving herself away?
“O… M… G! I knew it! Chicago is so going to be your favorite city. Every time you see a movie filmed here, or have to coordinate with this office, you’re going to get that faraway look in your eye, remembering your lusty affair in the Windy City. So romantic,” Trish gushed, completely wrapped up in her fantasy—until she noticed Cali had frozen in place. Brow furrowing, she flattened her hands on the desktop, as if to steady them both. “Wait. You are still planning to go, aren’t you? London’s still calling, right? Cali? My career girl idol, please tell me you aren’t considering selling everything you’ve worked for short for some stud in a white coat.”
Cali laughed, shaking her head as if she was shaking off nonsense.
Only Trish wasn’t buying. “Cali, you’ve been busting that backside of yours for years. Priorities, girl!”
“I know. And I’m not giving anything up. I just haven’t spent a lot of time thinking about what’s happening next.” Until Trish had verbalized a scenario she didn’t want to contemplate, she hadn’t let herself think about it, for once focusing on the now rather than the end goal. She’d been taking each day, each night, as it came. Falling into Jake’s arms, falling into his bed, falling into something deeper than she’d thought possible. But, no matter how good things seemed with Jake, she knew better than to assume it meant anything had really changed. Only knowing hadn’t stopped her from wishing. “I mean, Amanda still hasn’t given me my next assignment. For all I know, it could be here.”
“Or it could be in London,” Trish said, all trace of joking gone.
“Yes. Or it could be London,” she conceded, with less optimism than the statement merited.
Trish’s features hardened into a stern mask. “A month ago you wouldn’t have even—” She looked away, blowing out an exasperated breath before looking back. “Does he even love you?”
Cali stared back at her, shoulders stiffening. “That’s none of your business, Trish.”
“Okay, fine. You’re right. Our friendship didn’t grow out of feminine confidences and broken hearts. It grew out of a mutual desire to kick corporate ass. We’ve been cheering each other on, offering advice and support, for years. So how about this? I suggest you figure out if this guy loves you before your sudden ambivalence re your career has you toasting someone else’s departure to Heathrow.”
“Trish—”
But she was already walking through the door, a hand waving over her shoulder. “Yeah, yeah. You know it’s because I care. I know we’re still friends.”
Cali went to the window, pressed her forehead against the glass and stared out at the cityscape beyond. This job was important to her. It had been the only important thing for too many years to suddenly have second thoughts when she was so close to achieving her goal. Of course second thoughts hadn’t exactly been the issue. More like avoidance altogether.
The last two weeks with Jake had been incredible. Everything she’d never even thought to hope for and more. His caring was obvious, demonstrated in a million little ways…but, as intense as what they had seemed to be, it was still new. Topics like the future were glossed over in only the most general way. Sure, he’d mentioned things she’d love to see—like the evening drive into the city at the height of fall, and fat flakes swirling past the rough-hewn stones of the old Water Tower during a new snow. Things he knew she wouldn’t be around to see unless she stayed.
Why was she even thinking about this? London was her dream. What she had to do for herself.
But the way he made her feel when he let his guard down…there was nothing like it. It was the kind of feeling that made a career girl rethink her commitments to herself.
There was only one problem.
A part of her wondered if the only reason Jake could be so wonderful, so open, was because he knew she was leaving. She didn’t want to believe it, but this man was commitment-averse in ways she could only begin to fathom, but already knew to fear.
Before the incident with Pam she would never have believed what had happened afterward possible. Even now it seemed unreal. Impossible that Jake was the same man. But he was. Which, when she allowed herself to think about it, made the fact that she’d fallen so helplessly, completely in love with him all the more terrifying.
Jake cracked another egg against the glass rim of his bowl and tossed the shell into the sink. After wiping his hand on the dishtowel slung over his shoulder, he scooped up the mound of grated white cheddar and sliced spring onions, then whisked them into the eggs with a fork.
A little seasoning, and into the skillet for a scramble. Pushing the eggs around, he watched them firm and fluff until they were done.
He caught movement from the corner of his eye and turned to find Cali, leaning against the door frame, wrapped in the Oxford shirt he’d worn the night before. Her eyes were puffy from sleep, and her cheek still held a crease from her pillow, but she was so sexy.
“Morning, beautiful.”
Her mouth twisted into a scowl as she shook her head at him. “You need to get your eyes checked. I can’t believe I slept so late. How long have you been up?”
Two slices of multigrain popped from the toaster and Jake dropped them onto plates, smearing a dollop of marmalade across the golden top of each. “An hour?”
Cali yawned, stretching up on her toes with one arm over her head. Panties. No bra. And two little buttons doing a poor job of keeping her decent in front of a man with very indecent ideas.
A glob of marmalade slithered down his thumb from the spoon he held frozen in midair. She got to him. He’d seen her like this every morning, and usually a few times throughout the
night, and yet a teasing glimpse of the lower curve of her breast, or the sliver of flesh exposed by the gap at the bottom of his shirt held him transfixed, body stirring, brain plotting the quickest way to get her wrapped around him again.
His gut clenched every time he thought about how close he’d come to losing her—throwing her away. He’d been an idiot of epic proportions. But no more.
And only an idiot wouldn’t take advantage of the sexy little sweetheart gift wrapped in a half-open Oxford in front of him.
Cali glanced up, sensing the change in the air, the thickening tension. Jake stood, propped against the counter by the sink, looking insanely sexy, with worn jeans riding low on his hips and nothing more than a dishtowel draped over his shoulder on top.
“Come here.” The cocky smile spread over his sensuous lips had her heart skipping in her chest and awareness surging hot through her veins. She stepped into the muscular cradle of one extended arm. Jake licked the sticky bit of marmalade from his thumb and leaned down to kiss her, slipping his tongue into her mouth for a shared taste of seduction.
“Mmm, sweet,” she whispered as he pulled back to lick at the corner of her mouth. His hands moved to her hips, and in one swift motion he’d set her on the counter in front of him.
Desire lanced her core. One kiss and she was aching for him.
Her phone rattled against the counter behind her, Amanda’s text message alert pinging in the background. Cali pushed her fingers into Jake’s hair, pulling his mouth down to hers for another taste of him.
“Don’t you need to get that?” he asked, his wicked smile brushing her lips.
“Later,” she whispered. “It’s Saturday.”
Jake pulled away with a scolding tsk. “Yeah, like that’ll stop you. Read it. You’ll think about it—no matter how distracting my efforts—until you’ve checked it.”