“Hi, Tech Bear. I assume you guessed it’s me.”
It was Raven.
“I knew it was you. You’re even cuter than I imagined,” he typed out.
“You aren’t so bad yourself,” she replied.
Damien’s heart slammed against his chest. He really didn’t want to screw this up. This girl, his fated mate, the woman of his dreams, was out there on Fate Mountain, just waiting for him. He needed to be with her. He needed to touch her, to smell her, to feel her, to claim her, and make her his forever.
He knew Raven. He knew the little elf rogue he’d been playing video games with for seven years. She wasn’t your typical Internet date. She was something else entirely. This woman was sharp and witty and quick and could cut like a knife with a laugh in her voice. As much as her spunky attitude attracted him, it also scared him. He could screw it up and be without her forever.
“I’d like to take you out for a nice dinner tonight,” he said, thinking that it was a safe bet.
“I don’t know,” she replied almost immediately. “I didn’t realize you were a cop.”
“Is that a problem?” he asked.
He knew she was a bit of a punk, but he didn’t think she would have a problem with his profession, especially since they were both techies.
“Not really. It’s just that the straight-laced, button-up type has never been my thing.”
“I’m not that straight laced,” he said. “You know what I’m like online, Raven.”
“I do. That’s what scares me.”
“It’s me who should be scared,” Damien retorted but then added “LOL” after just to be safe.
“Yes, you should be scared, Tech Bear Paladin. Since when do paladins and rogues belong together, anyway?”
“That’s a good question,” he said with a laugh.
Rogues and paladins as players were almost completely opposite. She did have a point with that. But the fact that rogues and paladins were so different was what made him so attracted to her. His mouth was practically watering as he typed out his reply.
“Opposites attract. Or so they say.”
“Maybe they do. And maybe they don’t. But I still haven’t decided if I’m going to go out with you or not,” she typed. “I’m busy right now.”
Damien fidgeted in his chair, feeling extremely uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation. All he wanted, all he needed, was to meet her. He knew that once they were in the same room, breathing the same air, sharing the same space, the heat of their bodies mingling as one, he knew she would come around. She had to. She was his mate.
“I’m busy right now too,” he said. “Official police business. I’m tracking down a hacker.”
He regretted saying it as soon as he did. It was classified information, but he couldn’t help it. He wanted to share everything with Raven, even if he hadn’t met her yet.
“That does sound important,” she said. “I should leave you alone, then.”
“I’m just kidding. There’s no hacker. I’m just trying to impress you. I really want to meet you.” He pressed Send, feeling like a total nerd.
“I want to meet you too,” she finally replied.
4
Raven stared at her phone, unable to believe that she had just agreed to go out on a date with the very police officer who was trying to track her down.
She couldn’t have had any worse luck. Of all of the people in all of the police departments in the entire world, she was best friends with the one who was after her. She could tell that he was trying to trace her IP address.
Every time he followed one of her trails through her diversion networks, she got a ping on her computer. She knew he was after her, and it was only a matter of time before he traced her IP address.
Raven was good. She was really good. But she had the distinct impression that Damien was just as good as her. Plus, he had a heck of a lot more equipment, and the entire police force behind him, not to mention Corey Bright’s random-probability generator.
The truth was, Raven didn’t know exactly how the random-probability generator worked. That was why she needed to get access to it. She believed that if she input the information she had about her mother, the random-probability generator would give her some clues to go on.
When a person goes missing without a trace, the human mind can’t fully comprehend why they didn’t come back. Raven had been living with that her entire life. The mother she knew as a child was not the mother that the people in the foster care system kept trying to tell her she was.
The few memories Raven still had of her mother before she had been put into foster care were warm and caring and full of love. Her mother used to cook the most delicious brownies Raven had ever tasted. The memory of her mother’s cooking still made her mouth water. She remembered the scent of chicken noodle soup simmering on the stovetop on cool autumn days. She remembered the feeling of her mother’s embrace at night before she went to sleep and the soft sound of her voice singing lullabies as Raven drifted away into dreamland. There was no way that that woman had just left her daughter.
The fact that Raven had been living with such cognitive dissonance for so long had given her an identity crisis that had lasted her entire life. On one hand, she knew her mother wouldn’t just leave her. On the other hand, everyone told her that she had.
There was no way that a child would end up in foster care if the parent wasn’t neglectful. How could Raven reconcile her memories of her mother with the messages everyone gave her? The two things just didn’t seem to coincide. It didn’t make any sense, and Raven would never accept that the loving woman who had cared for her when she was a child just got up and left one day. Her final words to Raven were, “I’ll always come back for you.”
Raven still believed those words, and she would never stop believing them. But that didn’t help her current situation one iota. In fact, it made it a hundred times worse. Damien Fellows was the police department’s technology expert. He was the one whose computers she’d broken into. He was currently after her. If he found out what she’d done, which was a felony, she’d probably end up in jail for a long time and never find her mother.
But at the same time, this crazy website had matched them. Supposedly, they were fated mates.
Raven turned off her phone and started pacing around her small living room. Her Doc Martens slapped on the hard linoleum floor. She wanted to go out with Damien. She did have feelings for him. As confused and muddled as Raven was in her life, and with her own identity, one thing she did know was that she’d been attracted to Tech Bear Paladin for as long as she could remember.
Tech Bear Paladin was one of the best players in the game, aside from her, anyway. He was the best raid leader, with the sexiest voice. He always had the best jokes, and he was also a whiz at completing quests. There wasn’t a single quest in the game that Tech Bear Paladin hadn’t solved. That made her think for a moment that maybe Damien would be able to help her find her mom. She tapped her lip, thinking.
But no, that would mean she’d have to tell him the truth. How could she tell him? There was no way she could tell him. He was a cop! He’d arrest her on the spot and throw her in jail.
Even so, she still wanted to go out with him. She’d already agreed to go to the lodge for dinner tonight. That was probably the stupidest thing she’d ever done in her entire life. She picked up her phone and turned it on, intent on blowing him off by telling him she just couldn’t make it tonight.
But when she brought up the screen from their text conversation and read his funny, sweet texts over again, she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Her heart throbbed, and her knees were weak just thinking about him. She tapped over to Mate.com and opened up his profile.
He was so freaking gorgeous. How was it that she’d been matched with a guy that hot? Not only was he hyper-masculine, totally responsible, owned his own home and car and had a job on the police force, but he was funny and smart and all of the things that Raven had imagi
ned that she would want, if she could even bring herself to think about wanting someone.
It all felt so completely hopeless. What was she supposed to do? Pretend? Lie? She knew she couldn’t tell him the truth. That was out of the question.
Her only option was lying.
Or she had to blow him off. She couldn’t bring herself to do it. She didn’t want to hurt his feelings. That was the last thing she wanted to do. They’d been friends for such a long time. Even if it was just an avatar on the screen, she knew Tech Bear Paladin. She knew he was a good guy.
Maybe she could just go out with him once and then never go out with him again. She could act like a bitch and try to push him away, make him think that she was a horrible person, and then he could just blame her horribleness. She wouldn’t have to hurt his feelings, because he’d never want to see her again anyway. That seemed like as good a plan as any as she paced back and forth through her studio apartment. She collapsed on her futon with a groan and lay down, staring at the popcorn ceiling.
She only had a few hours before she had to be at her date, and the indecision was killing her. At this point, she had no choice but to go. She was just going to have to try to find a way to make him hate her.
Raven took a quick shower and wrapped herself in a towel. As she stood staring at her closet, she realized she had absolutely nothing to wear. She hadn’t been shopping for new clothes in as long as she could remember, having spent most of her time working on her freelance jobs and trying to find evidence of what had happened to her mother.
Now she regretted that decision. She was going to go meet the man who was supposed to be her fated mate looking like a homeless person. Rifling through her flannel shirts and black dresses, she let out an exasperated growl.
She finally grabbed one of her black mini-dresses and threw it on her futon. It was going to have to work, because she didn’t have anything else even halfway decent to wear on a date. With that decided, she rifled through her chest of drawers and pulled out a pair of black leggings to go with the black dress.
She pulled on some underthings and slipped the dress over her head. After she had her leggings up and then pulled on her Doc Martens, she looked at herself in the full-length mirror on the sliding door of her closet. After she put on her usual makeup—red lipstick and black eye liner—and twisted her dark braids up into a bun on top of her head, she decided she was ready to go.
On the way out the door, Raven grabbed her fluffy winter coat and her messenger bag. She looked like a dork, but she was trying to blow him off anyway, not make him fall madly in love with her. With a groan, she trudged out to her car through the soft snowflakes that had begun to fall in the evening air. She let out a long breath that puffed out into the cool air, and opened her car door.
Raven might not have had a lot of clothes, but she did have a decent car, and she was proud of that. She slid into her brand-new Toyota Camry and shut the door. On the way over to the lodge, she contemplated going home no fewer than forty-seven times. By the time she parked in the parking lot of the Fate Mountain Lodge, she had a nervous pit in her stomach that she feared would make her throw up all over her date.
That wasn’t the way she should feel on a date with her soul mate, was it? Because if it was, this whole soul mate thing was not all it was cracked up to be. She grabbed her bag and slid out of the car, totally confused by everything.
As she trudged up the front walk of the lodge, her Doc Martens crunched on the gathering snow.
Inside the lodge, she was greeted by the front attendant, who smiled at her and welcomed her to Fate Mountain Lodge. The lobby was warm and inviting, with holiday decorations all around. Thanksgiving was coming up fast, and there were pumpkins and turkey streamers and the cornucopia overflowing with little decorative gourds to celebrate the season.
Raven didn’t have a whole lot to be thankful for, unless you counted her date with Damien. And she wasn’t exactly sure if she should be grateful for it or if she should be terrified.
But as she stood in the doorway of the lodge’s five-star restaurant and looked around the room for her date, all of that slipped away. As soon as their eyes met across the room, Damien stood abruptly from his seat, sending his chair screeching backwards across the polished wood floor.
He crossed the room in an instant and was standing before her, reaching to take her hand. He towered above her petite frame. His blue eyes twinkled as he smiled down at her. Raven gazed into his eyes. They drew her in, deeper and deeper, until she almost forgot where she was. His hand was warm and strong around hers as they shook in greeting.
“Raven,” he said breathlessly. “I would have recognized you anywhere.”
“Tech Bear Paladin,” she whispered, barely able to speak.
“You don’t look like your avatar,” he said.
“Really?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. “You mean I don’t look like a six-foot-tall elf rogue?”
“No. You look better. You look perfect.”
He wrapped her hand through the crook of his elbow, and led her through the dining room to his table by the window. It was one of the nicest seats in the house, and it looked out onto the view of Lake Fate in the distance.
The silver waters of the lake sparkled in the glowing sunlight. As the sunlight kissed the horizon, it turned orange and pink and yellow as it bled into the hazy blue of the fading day.
Damien pulled the seat back for Raven to sit. When she was situated, he sat across from her, his smile never leaving his face. It made Raven more uncomfortable with each passing second because she was falling fast, drowning in the blue pools of his eyes. His smile just pulled her in and wouldn’t let her go. Her heart whacked in her chest, beating harder and harder with each breath.
The waiter came to the table and gave them their menus before filling up their water glasses. A basket of crusty French bread sat in the center of the table. Raven grabbed a piece, tore off a chunk, and threw it in her mouth. She needed something to do to avoid falling headfirst into the sea of the unknown that was Damien.
She couldn’t believe that she was sitting here looking at Tech Bear Paladin after seven years of playing Dragon Lands with him online. The events of her life were beginning to startle even her.
“How long have you been on Fate Mountain?” he asked with a curious tone in his voice.
“I’ve been here about three months,” she said.
“What made you decide to move to such a small town?” he asked, picking up a piece of bread himself.
“I grew up in Portland mostly. I just decided I wanted a change of pace. I work online mostly, so I don’t have to be in town.”
Her explanations sounded legitimate enough. It wasn’t as if she were going to tell him the real reason she’d come to Fate Mountain. She couldn’t tell him now or ever.
She asked herself again why she had agreed to go out on this date. But every time she looked into Damien’s face, she remembered.
“How long have you lived on Fate Mountain?” she asked.
“I’ve been here since the rest of the Bear Patrol moved here after the Great War. That must’ve been, what? Five years ago?” he said, throwing another piece of bread in his mouth.
“Do you like it here?” she asked.
“I love it. I own my own house down on Elm Street. A four-bedroom with a big backyard. Perfect for raising a family. I even have my own office for all of my tech equipment. I could show you sometime, if you want.”
“That’d be cool,” she said.
She was supposed to be making him hate her, not accepting invitations to go to his house! This date wasn’t going at all according to plan.
How was she supposed to make him hate her? She already liked him way too much. He was too nice, too cute, too charming. She had to blow him off, but she didn’t know if it was even physically possible.
Everything about his warm smile and beautiful eyes was drawing her to him, and she wanted to let him. She imagined what it would feel like to have
his big hands on her body.
When he’d led her across the dining room, she could feel the power and strength in his arm. If only she could see this thing through the way a normal person would. But she couldn’t. She wasn’t a normal person. She was hacker and a foster child with a mother who’d gone missing twenty years ago.
Raven was anything but normal. She couldn’t have the kind of life that Damien was suggesting. A life with a four-bedroom house on Elm Street with kids in the family and a man like Tech Bear Paladin as her mate.
Her heart hurt just thinking about everything she couldn’t have. The waiter walked up a moment later and asked if they were ready to order. Raven hadn’t even looked at the menu yet.
“What are the specials?” she asked.
“We have this Keenan special Pacific crab with zesty lemon sauce and potatoes au gratin.”
“I’ll take that. And a glass of Chardonnay,” Raven said, handing the waiter her menu.
“I’ll take the same. And a pint of Fate Mountain lager,” Damien said.
The waiter took their menus then brought them their drinks a few moments later. Raven sipped her Chardonnay, barely able to look at Damien’s gorgeous face. She replayed all of the times they’d played Dragon Lands together. All of the times they’d saved each other in battle. All of the times they’d shared loot. All of the times they’d stayed up late, joking and talking about all the silliness in the world, and how they were above it all.
They had been partners in crime online in the fantasy world. Too bad they couldn’t be that way in real life.
5
Damien gazed at Raven across the table, holding back his bear with all of his strength. The petite little goth girl was the cutest thing he or his bear had ever seen in his entire life. Damien had been all around the world and had seen corners of the Internet that most civilized people would never want to see, and he still knew that Raven was the goddamned sexiest woman he’d ever laid eyes on.