“You’re so pretty,” she blurted out, and then flushed even redder. “I mean, you’re all so pretty. It’s a little overwhelming.” She gulped and stepped back, shooting Killian a worried look as she realized how much she’d fangirled.
Killian was too busy staring at me. I almost blushed at the intensity of his gaze and gave him a quick warning look before I turned away.
“So, what first?” Brandon asked.
I opened my mouth to suggest a tour but Killian cut me off. “Skylar needs to lay down vocals for a final track on the album. I think you should both sit in so you can hear for yourselves how special this album is going to be.”
Before I could respond that I didn’t know how comfortable I was recording solo material in front of the guys, Micah said, “Perfect. Let’s do that. Eve, lead the way.”
She giggled and nodded. I couldn’t help but grin as Brandon and Micah fell into step on either side of her as she led them past reception. They were too charming for their own good and someone as adorable as Eve only brought out the devil in them.
When they disappeared around the corner, Killian said, “Shall we?”
I nodded and fell into step beside him. “You need to not look at me like that,” I said under my breath.
His hand rested on my lower back but he maintained a professional distance. “Like what?”
“Like you want to throw me to the floor and have your way with me.”
“I thought you liked that look.”
“I do,” I admitted. “Very much. But not when we’re trying to keep our relationship a secret from people, including my ex-bandmates.”
We turned the corner and saw Micah and Brandon up ahead with Eve. Micah shot us a look over his shoulder and I gave him a reassuring smile.
Once he’d turned back around, Killian replied, “It’s hard to hide how I feel when your ex insists on calling you ‘his girl.’”
I stopped, letting my friends disappear out of sight again. I looked up into Killian’s dark eyes. “Then remind yourself that I’m not his. I’m yours.”
He glanced down either end of the hall and determining we were alone, he slid his hand from my back to my ass and stepped into me. Bending his head, his lips almost touched mine and my mouth tingled in response. My breath mingled with his as a flush of arousal moved through me. “I wish we were alone,” he murmured, squeezing my ass. “I had only my hand for company last night.”
I smirked to cover the desire heating up between my legs. “And what did you fantasize about?”
“I didn’t fantasize. I remembered.” Lust gleamed in his eyes. “I replayed every touch, every lick, every bite, every fuck. Your tits in my hands as you rode me. Your ass in my hands as I rode you.”
My breathing faltered. “If you don’t stop talking, it’ll be obvious what we were up to when we walk into that studio.”
“We’re not up to anything. I’ve barely touched you.”
“And yet,” I stood on tiptoe to brush my mouth against his and whisper, “I’m wet and flushed.” I glanced down at his crotch. “And you, Mr. O’Dea, are sporting wood.”
The haze seemed to clear from his eyes and he cursed, letting me go. Throwing me an aggravated look, he gestured down the hall. “You go. I’ll catch up.”
My smile was full of mischief. “You’re acting like it’s my fault. You started it.”
I laughed at his glare and walked away, only to glance over my shoulder to find him watching me. Watching me predatorily with a promise in his gaze.
I shivered, very much looking forward to him acting on that promise.
When I reached the studio, Eve looked behind my shoulder as I stepped inside. “Where’s Mr. O’Dea?”
“Oh, someone stopped to ask him something. He’ll be here in a minute.” I smiled at Oliver. “Hey, did Eve introduce you to the guys?”
“Aye, all intros have been made,” Oliver said congenially. “You ready to lay down ‘In the Wind’?”
Of all the songs the guys got to hear, it would have to be that one. I gulped, feeling nervous. “Sure.”
“What’s this one about?” Brandon asked. He and Micah took seats at the deck and I walked toward the booth door.
I blew out air between my lips and it sounded shaky even to my ears. “It’s about my mom.”
Silence fell over the booth and I pushed inside. I had to forget that the guys were here. I had to forget that everyone was here. I’d already recorded this song, but my mind wasn’t in the right place and neither Killian nor I were happy with it. Hence I was back to rerecord it.
A thought struck me and I pushed open the door to tell Oliver I didn’t have my guitar when Killian walked into the studio.
With my guitar case.
How? I blinked up at him like an owl as he held it out to me. “I forgot to ask you to bring it, so I had Autumn run over with it. I hope you don’t mind.”
“No.” I shook my head as I took it from him. “Thanks.”
He placed a hand on the side of the booth, essentially blocking me from everyone else’s view. He lowered his voice to whisper, “Forget we’re all here. It’s just you and your guitar.”
Hoping I could do that, I disappeared back into the booth and got set up. I didn’t look out into the studio at all. I settled on the stool, put the headphones on, made sure the mic for the guitar was set right, and I began to sing about losing my soul when I lost my mom. About letting it drift into the wind and being lost at sea.
I sang it with all the grief I’d felt the last two years.
As I finished the lyrics—“But it’s always out of reach”—I looked up and locked eyes with Killian. It wasn’t true anymore. Somehow, he’d helped me find my soul again. It would never be whole, but I think that’s what life was about. You started out with a pure, whole soul and life took hits at it. It charred it, bruised it, and sometimes even smashed it to dust. But there were ways to hold on to it and to even piece it back together in new ways. To add patches of light to a shadowy bruise, to stitch a crack with a little thread of joy.
“Wow, that was awesome, Skylar,” Oliver’s voice crackled through the headphones and made me jump. “I don’t think we need another run at that.”
I jerked my gaze from Killian to Brandon and Micah. Brandon’s eyes were wet with tears and Micah looked conflicted.
After I packed my guitar away, I ventured out of the booth only to drop the case against the wall as Brandon came at me. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my head. “That was stunning, Sky. Fucking stunning.”
I smiled and hugged him hard. “Thank you.”
He pulled back, his eyes washing over me. “Music heals, yeah?”
Tears burned in my nose and I nodded. “It’s definitely helping.”
Reluctantly, he let me go and I gazed past him at Micah.
He glanced at Killian. “Give us the room.”
Killian’s expression hardened, but he looked at me for the answer.
Even though I was afraid of what Micah had to say, I nodded.
I could tell this did not make Killian happy, but he asked everyone to give us privacy. We shared a long look as he was the last to leave. I gave him a reassuring nod.
Then I waited.
Micah took a step toward me, anguish all over his face. “I didn’t get it.”
“Didn’t get it?”
He shook his head. “I loved Angie. I miss her. It kills me what happened to her and Bryan, but I didn’t get it. Until now.” He gestured to the booth, his voice suddenly hoarse. “That is some song, Sky. It’d make a grown fucking man want to cry.” Micah’s eyes narrowed on me. “That’s what you felt this whole time? That’s what you were going through?”
My God.
A tear slipped down my cheek before I could stop it.
It really shouldn’t have surprised me that it would take my song to finally communicate my feelings to Micah. The guy understood music more than he understood anything.
“That’s how I felt up un
til three months ago, yes.”
He scrubbed a hand over his head. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t get it.”
“Don’t be. I’m sorry I didn’t try harder to make you understand.”
“I forgive you,” he burst out, striding over to grab my shoulders. “Sky, I forgive you.”
Relief moved through me and I nodded, choked on my emotion. Finally, I managed, “Thank you.”
We shared a sweet moment of silent understanding and then worry clouded Micah’s expression. “Be careful with him.”
Knowing instinctively that he was talking about Killian, I hoped I could relieve him of his concerns. “Killian cares about this album. I trust that he’ll do what he can to protect it and me.”
“That’s not what I meant.” Micah dropped his hands from my shoulders. “He’s the friend you were talking about.”
Anxious that he’d guessed right, I tensed, not knowing what to say to dissuade him.
He smirked unhappily. “It was the way you looked at him when you finished the song.”
Shit. Had anyone else picked up on that?
“He cares about you too. Or at least he’s possessive of you. The guy looks at me like he wants to rip my head off.”
“Micah—”
“Don’t lie to me, Sky. Just be careful. This is your label now and he’s . . . I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I won’t.”
“You will if he makes the same mistake as me.”
“What mistake was that?”
He shrugged, looking forlorn. “I knew you were miserable and I stood by and did nothing about it because I was a selfish asshole who didn’t want to lose my band.”
That old hurt flared to life.
“I guess we both chose the band over each other in the end.” Micah sighed. “I’m letting all that shit go and you should too. But you shouldn’t ever forget. This time you pick a guy who cares more about your happiness than he does about his own. Promise me you’ll do that.”
A part of me loved him for saying that but another part resented him. Because I knew, deep down, it was a promise that would take me from Killian.
“Sky, promise me,” he insisted.
Knowing he was right, knowing it was right, I whispered, “I promise.”
* * *
MY SIGHS OF ECSTASY WERE short and breathless as I rose and fell over Killian. His hand caressed my right breast, his calloused fingertips causing delicious prickling sensations across them both, while his other hand held my left hip tight in his grip.
Mine lay pressed upon his hard chest as I rode him, our eyes connected the entire time our bodies were. His gaze burned with want, need, possession, as the tension tightened inside of me. I moved slowly over him, his thickness gliding in and out in teasing, languorous strokes that took us toward oblivion on an exquisitely slow roller coaster ride uphill.
“Killian,” I moaned, feeling my climax edging closer. I slid my hands down his chest, my thumbs dragging over his nipples.
His expression grew tauter and he practically bared his teeth at me. “Harder,” he grunted, pulling on my hip.
I shook my head, grinding down into him.
“Skylar.” He squeezed my breast. “More.”
“I like this.” I panted as the coiling tension reached breaking point. My hips moved faster of their own accord as my body suddenly hungered for instant satisfaction now that it was so near.
Bliss shattered through me and I stilled over Killian before I shuddered around him on a broken cry of release.
The air whipped around me as I found myself flipped onto my back on the bed with my hands held at either side of my head. Killian caught the waves of my orgasm, driving into me in hard, fast thrusts. I felt the heat catch hold of the sparks of my climax until it blazed bright into another orgasm.
“Oh my God . . .” My head fell back on the pillow and I lost sight of the ferocious look on his face as he slammed into me.
“Oh fuck,” he cursed gutturally. “Fuck, Skylar!” His hips stilled and then his body jerked hard as his cock throbbed and swelled inside me. I felt the warm rush of his release and his hands eased their grip on my wrists as he relaxed into me.
A too heavy but delicious weight.
I rubbed my foot along the back of his muscular calf. “You have a problem with control,” I teased, my voice sounding smoky, lazy.
Killian lifted his head, his features slack with relaxation. “You fucked me the way you wanted to fuck me and I fucked you the way I wanted to fuck you. Fair is fair.”
I grinned because he had a point. “Okay.”
He gave me a quick, sweet kiss and then rolled off me, throwing his arms behind his head. “It’s been some day.”
It had been. After their visit to the record label, I said goodbye to Micah and Brandon, sad that I couldn’t see them to the airport. We promised to check in with each other and they promised they’d have Austin get in touch with me as soon as he was back in the land of modern technology.
“‘In the Wind’ sounds amazing.”
It was weird being proud of a song that was written with so much pain, but I did feel proud of it. Still, I needed Killian to know that’s not how I felt anymore. “I wrote a new song yesterday.”
“Aye?”
“Mmm.” I turned my head on the pillow to look at him. Was there ever a time in my life when this man wasn’t beautiful to me? I reached out and drew my fingertips along his jaw.
He side-eyed me curiously. “Can I hear it?”
“Yes.” I sat up and shimmied off the bed. I disappeared into the bathroom for a brief cleanup, and then I sauntered out into the living room with a swing in my hips.
“You’re going to sing naked?” Killian called after me, the sound of the bedclothes rustling in the background as he got up.
The apartment was warm and no one could see us up here, so I didn’t see the point in putting on clothes when I was impatient to sing my song. Part of it was nervous anxiety. I wanted to do this before I lost my nerve.
I sat on the chair and crossed my bare legs with my guitar on my knee as Killian walked out of the bedroom in his boxers. At the sight of me, he lounged against the wall with his ankles crossed. Although his posture was relaxed, his expression was dark, devouring and filled with emotion. His voice was hoarse as he said, “This image of you right now will be the last thing I remember the day I die.”
I smiled softly as my chest filled with love. “Yeah?”
Killian nodded, so serious. “Yes.”
For not the first time, I almost blurted out that I loved him. Then I realized after I stopped myself that it didn’t matter because the song I was about to sing was pretty much a love letter.
I strummed the opening chords, the sound light and upbeat. In my head, it was a melody that would crescendo with the chorus but I couldn’t achieve that with my acoustic. That didn’t matter in that moment.
All that mattered was singing to him.
“I was concrete standing still,
Cemented heart, bricked-over soul.
But there were cracks I couldn’t see,
Through them my song called out.
“The river heard me and it came for me.
“I was cold there forged in stone,
And you were colder on your throne
Of freezing waves that flooded me out,
To free my song upon you.
“The river heard me and it came for me.
It rushed me on toward a waterfall.
“I feel the wind on my skin breathing,
My heart is beating to the feeling.
I catch my soul as I free-fall,
Then your arms close tight around me
Right before we land.
“I’m alive and it’s all your fault,
Blood is pumping, burning hot.
Worse, I’m growing addicted to
Being awake, being with you.
“The river heard me and it came for me.
It rushed me on toward a waterfall.
“I feel the wind on my skin breathing,
My heart is beating to the feeling.
I catch my soul as I free-fall,
Then your arms close tight around me
Right before we land.
“You’re in my heart, you’re like a beat.
You’re the air I drink in breaths.
You’re the flood that set me free.
The waterfall I’d gladly drown in.
“I feel the wind on my skin breathing,
My heart is beating to the feeling.
I catch my soul as I free-fall,
Then your arms close tight around me
Right before we land.
“The river heard me and it came for me.
Now my song belongs to it.”
My fingers almost slipped from the strings as I finished, realizing what I’d put out there. The silence that rang through the apartment didn’t help with the sudden wave of uncertainty that knocked me back in the chair.
I couldn’t look at him.
It was like being foggy-minded with desire, having sex, and then realizing it was a mistake as soon as it was over.
What if I’d blown it with too many feelings?
“Skylar.”
Reluctantly, I drew my gaze from the floor to him. He was standing straight, no longer leaning against the wall, and my breath caught at what I found in him.
Shaking, I lowered my guitar carefully and got up to cross the room. His gaze dropped hotly down my body before coming back to my face as I halted before him.
Killian crushed me to him and kissed me breathless.
I held on for dear life, hoping the fierce desperation of his kiss meant I was not alone in my feelings. When he finally let me up for air, I said dryly, “I take it you liked the song?”
He cupped my face in his hands and whispered, “I loved it. I . . . I love you.”
My knees almost gave way, the emotion that rolled over me was so powerful. My arms tightened around his back and I pressed as close as I could to him as I whispered against his lips, “Thanks for not leaving me hanging too long. There was a moment there I thought I might have to jump out the window when I thought you didn’t feel the same way. I didn’t really want to do that butt-naked. It’s cold out.”