She couldn’t do it. Her first priority was to her people. She was their queen now, and she had to protect them, even if it meant disregarding her own wishes.
“They will leave in three days,” Em said.
“Good.” August’s smile seemed forced. “I have nothing else, if you don’t.”
She stood and said a quick good-bye to the warriors. The Ruined followed her out.
“You shouldn’t let Cas go at all,” Jacobo said as they walked down the dirt road. “We should keep him prisoner until we don’t need him anymore.”
“He’s not worth anything as a prisoner,” Ivanna said. “Besides, there’s no use destroying the potential of an alliance. We don’t need it now, but you never know.”
“Ruined aligning with Lera,” Jacobo said with a snicker. “That’ll be the day.”
Ivanna shrugged. “I’m just saying that Emelina is smart to stay on good terms with them.”
“Thank you,” Em said, unable to keep the surprise from her voice. “Would you and Mariana start feeling out the Ruined for me? Find some who would be interested in going up north with the warriors?”
“Sure,” Mariana said. Ivanna nodded, and they turned to follow Jacobo and Davi back into the center of town.
Em looked at Aren. “That was strange.”
“Not really. I think you made the right call too.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. You’d be doing Jovita a favor by killing Cas. Besides, he’s not that …” Aren scrunched his face up. “He could be worse, I guess.”
“Wow,” Em said with a laugh. “I think that’s the nicest thing I’ve ever heard you say about a Leran.”
“Don’t go spreading it around.” He paused. “He told me you and he never consummated the marriage.”
“He did?”
“He thought you’d already told me. Which you should have, by the way.”
“Oh. Well …” She shrugged, avoiding his gaze.
“I was worried about that, you know. I thought you were traumatized by having to have sex with him. You could have told me you were too scared.”
“I was not scared! I was … uncomfortable.”
“I don’t blame you.”
She was definitely not too scared at the moment, though. She scanned the area, and found Iria walking away from the cabin. Em waved good-bye to Aren and jogged to catch up with her.
“Can I ask you a question?” Em asked as she fell into step beside her.
“I’m volunteering to join the team going north, if that’s what you were thinking.”
“No, but that’s not a bad idea. I was actually wondering, uh, if you have any of the Juner herb. Or if you’ve seen a place nearby where it’s growing.”
Iria came to a stop, a grin spreading across her face. “Going to make use of those last three days, huh?”
Em’s face flushed. “Uh, well …” Yes, she was. But the last thing she needed was a baby, and the Juner herb prevented pregnancy.
“There’s a field of it outside of town, northeast. I saw it on our ride here.”
“Do you … do you think you could show me? I don’t actually know what it looks like.”
Iria’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh. Sure. We can walk. It’s not far.”
“Thanks.”
“Your mother didn’t show you?” Iria asked as they walked. “Or does it not grow in Ruina?”
“It does. I don’t think it was a priority for her. I know a bunch of herbs that will kill you, though.”
“Well, that’s helpful too, I guess.”
NINETEEN
“GOING SOMEWHERE?”
Aren jumped at the sound of the voice. Iria stood at the entrance of the barn, gathering her windblown hair into a ponytail. When he didn’t reply, she pointed at the horse he’d saddled.
“I’m … going to check something,” he said.
“To check something,” she repeated, suspicion in her voice.
He swallowed down a wave of nerves. He wanted to check if Olivia had killed all those people yesterday. He’d fled like a coward when she killed the first one, and had no idea if they were all dead. Maybe she’d left some injured. Olivia knew, of course, but he couldn’t bring himself to ask her. He didn’t want to go anywhere near her.
A wave of panic crashed over him as Olivia’s words replayed in his head: I guess you’ll be marrying me, then. How could he marry someone who killed without a hint of remorse? Not just without remorse, but with absolute glee, on occasion. What would she do when she got angry with him? He might lose a limb every time they fought.
He let out an almost hysterical laugh, and Iria looked at him with concern.
“Do you want some company?” she asked.
Yes. The word sat on the tip of his tongue. He wanted her to come. He wanted to tell someone what Olivia had done. Someone who wasn’t Em. He hadn’t figured out how to talk to Em about her sister yet.
“Whatever you see … will you keep it a secret?” he asked. “Just until we can figure out what to do.”
Surprise and concern lit up Iria’s face, but she nodded in agreement. He helped her saddle another horse and they rode out of the barn and through the town. He looked over his shoulder as they passed the statues of the ancestors in front of the courthouse. He didn’t like those statues. Their eyes followed him wherever he went.
The sun was sinking at his left shoulder, casting an orange glow over the area, and he focused straight ahead, pretending he didn’t feel the eyes of the ancestors boring into his back.
It was almost dark when he pulled the horse to a stop. The cluster of tents next to the road was still there.
Bodies littered the ground. Flies buzzed around the corpses. She’d killed them all.
Aren slid off his horse. He knew his boots hit the ground because he heard it, but his body had gone numb.
You could have stopped it. The voice in his head scream-whispered the words to him.
“What happened?” Iria gasped. She dismounted her horse and ran toward the bodies. She came to a sudden stop and pressed the back of her hand against her nose.
Aren reached for his horse. His legs wobbled beneath him. He needed something to hold him upright.
His mother was probably saying something in his head, but he couldn’t hear anything but the roaring in his ears. He was partly responsible for this. He should have never followed Olivia to kill those men at the cabins in Ruina. He should have never killed with her. Look at what he’d caused.
“Aren.” Iria was in front of him. He hadn’t noticed her walking to him, but there she was, close enough to touch. “What happened?”
An unexpected tear fell down his cheek. He quickly wiped it away.
“Aren,” Iria said softly. She reached for his hand. Her skin was soft and warm next to his, and he gratefully closed his fingers around hers.
“Olivia,” he whispered.
“She killed them? Why?”
A hysterical laugh bubbled up in his throat. Why? Why did Olivia do anything? She hated humans.
Aren looked up at Iria. He’d thought he hated them too. He was relieved to realize he was wrong.
“Does Em know?” Iria asked. He shook his head. “We need to tell her.”
“It’s already done. I didn’t stop Olivia.”
“The Vallos people could retaliate. They already hate Em for killing their princess. They don’t need much of a push to launch an attack.”
“Right.” It was stupid of him not to think of that earlier. They were technically in enemy territory right now.
“Hey, Aren.” Iria put both her hands on his cheeks suddenly. He blinked, every sense in his body standing at alert. “Are you all right?”
He definitely wasn’t, so he didn’t say anything. He stared at her instead. He could still make out her features in the dim, dying light. The freckles across the bridge of her nose. The curve of her lips. Her dark eyes.
“I’m sorry I didn’t stop her,” he said, because he needed to say it
to someone.
“Could you have stopped her?”
“Maybe. I ran away instead.”
She nodded and didn’t tell him it wasn’t his fault. He was glad. It would have been a lie. He liked that she didn’t lie to him.
“Let’s go back and tell Em.” She dropped her hands from his face. “She’ll know—” She turned to her horse and stopped talking abruptly. “Aren,” she breathed, pointing at something. He followed her finger. In the distance, an army marched north. Headed straight for Sacred Rock.
Em stopped in front of the house, lifting her head to look up at Cas’s window. It was closed, but she could see the edges of light around the curtains. The sun had set not long ago, and the chill in the air was making her even more nervous.
She knocked on the door and Galo answered. Violet and Mateo sat at the table, cards in front of them, and they said hello as she passed through.
Her footsteps were quiet as she walked up the stairs to Cas’s room, but she could tell he heard her coming as soon as she opened the door. He was sitting on the edge of the bed instead of against the pillows, his feet flat on the floor. His eyes were bright and full of life again. He looked even better than he had that morning.
“Hi.” She shut the door behind her. The room was lit by one lantern on the bedside table, casting a soft glow across the bed.
“Hi.”
She moved closer to him until her knees brushed against his. He tilted his face up.
“The warriors want you all gone in three days,” she said, because she didn’t know what else to say.
He reached for her hand, lacing their fingers together. He didn’t respond to that.
“And there are other things I should talk to you about,” she said softly.
He put his other hand on her neck, pulling her face closer to his. “Whatever it is, I don’t care.”
She pressed her lips to his, softly at first. His hands circled her waist, and he parted his legs, pulling her closer to him. His fingers slipped beneath her shirt, tracing the bare skin of her back, and it didn’t matter that she had something to tell him, because she’d forgotten how to talk.
She climbed into his lap, letting her knees rest on either side of him. Her lips left his for a moment, and he leaned forward to catch them again.
She’d kissed him before. She’d kissed him in this bed before, even. But this was different. This was her body on fire, her brain turned to mush. This was nothing but him and the heat of his breath on her mouth.
She found the bottom of his shirt and tugged on it until he lifted his arms. She pulled it off.
His gaze met hers briefly before he kissed her again. She would remember the way he looked at that moment forever. Eyes blazing, chin tilted up to kiss her again.
He bit down gently on her bottom lip and she practically went limp in his arms. His fingers found the buttons of her shirt and he slowly released them. His hands skimmed her bare shoulders as he pushed the shirt off. She wore nothing underneath the shirt. Her lips curved up as he took in a sharp breath.
She ran her fingers into his hair, curling them around the soft strands. His hands were against her bare skin and she suddenly decided to never put her clothes back on. She’d spent far too much time with Cas with her clothes on.
He grabbed her around the waist and pressed her into the mattress. She wrapped her legs around his hips, her fingers skimming his firm back.
His lips weren’t against hers anymore, they were on her neck, then trailing lower, until sparks were shooting through her body.
His fingers fumbled with the buttons on her pants and she laughed as he sat back on her legs and tried to pull them free.
“Do you want some help there?” she asked, reaching for them.
He brushed her hand away. “No.” He released the top button. “You have no idea how many times I’ve thought about taking your pants off. I’m doing it myself.” He released the second button.
“How many times?” she asked.
He freed the last button and grabbed her pants around the waist. “A few.” He dragged the pants down her legs and dropped them off the bed. “Not as many times as I relived that night I unbuttoned your dress.”
“Yeah?”
He pressed his hands into the mattress on either side of her head, his hair falling into his eyes as he looked down at her. She wore only a scrap of fabric now, and her entire body lit up as he settled between her legs.
“So many times,” he whispered, leaning down to kiss her.
She wrapped her arms around him, holding him as tightly as she could. If she held him tightly enough, maybe he wouldn’t have to go. Maybe they could do this every night for the rest of their lives.
His fingers were curling around her thigh and pushing up to her hip when she heard the scream.
Cas went rigid, his head snapping to the window. Another scream.
Em darted off the bed, grabbing for her shirt and pants. She threw them on and ran for the door.
“Stay here,” she called over her shoulder.
She didn’t wait for a reply before sprinting out the door. Galo was downstairs with Mateo and Violet, and she repeated the same instructions to them.
Ruined and warriors streamed out of their homes as Em sprinted to the center of town. Aren and Iria were running from the opposite direction.
“Vallos soldiers!” Aren yelled.
Em turned, facing the direction where dark figures were approaching from the south. Horse hooves pounded the dirt. The blade of a sword caught the light of a torch.
She hadn’t expected an attack from the Vallos army so soon. It was inevitable, considering they’d invaded a town and she’d killed their princess, but they weren’t strong enough to take on the Ruined themselves. Why would they storm into town without backup from Lera?
“Kill them all! Every one of them!” Olivia’s voice rose over the noise. She strode out of her house with Em’s sword, her face calm. She handed over Em’s sword. “The warriors are waiting for orders.”
Em turned to find August and his warriors gathering in the town square, dressed in red and swords already drawn. She cupped her hands around her mouth.
“Attack! No prisoners!”
TWENTY
AREN’S CHEST SEIZED as Em called out the order. He and Iria rode as fast as they could, but the Vallos army had a head start. They barely made it back to Sacred Rock before the soldiers.
“Kill them! Kill them all!” Olivia screamed.
The Vallos soldiers were retaliating because of what Olivia had done. He couldn’t blame them. They already hated the Ruined because Em killed their princess. He would have done the same.
Warriors raced past him, Em shouting orders to them. A sea of red streamed across his vision.
“Aren!” Olivia’s furious voice rose over the chaos around him. He blinked. She stood several paces away, her coat billowing in the wind. “Are you going to stand there, or are you going to join me?”
Every instinct in his body told him to run. He’d never wanted to run from a fellow Ruined before.
Iria shot past his vision, calling over her shoulder to another warrior. She cast a frantic look at the advancing Vallos soldiers.
He snapped to attention. If he didn’t fight, too many would die. Iria might die. He couldn’t change what Olivia had done, but he could protect his friends.
He jogged to Olivia. She grabbed his hand and roughly made him turn, so he was facing the army of Vallos soldiers. Warriors scattered out of the road, leaving nothing between Aren and the approaching horses.
The Vallos soldiers were dressed in black, torches bobbing in the darkness. There were several hundred of them.
Olivia squeezed his hand. He swore he could feel her power coursing through him. He’d never felt that with any other Ruined. He didn’t even know if it was possible.
Horse hooves beat against the ground. They were close enough that he could hear the yells.
“Detach,” Olivia said. “I can feel
the emotion coming off of you. Don’t make me do this all myself.”
He nodded. He cleared his mind, beating down the swell of guilt.
Two men at the front of the line toppled off their horses. Olivia had started.
“Take the left,” she said.
He narrowed his eyes. He was strong. He felt nothing. He could do this.
Why couldn’t he do this without blood?
Blood sprayed from the men as he tore into their chests. Olivia was so much cleaner. Why wasn’t he clean?
The men on the left side began to fall, one at a time. His Ruined power sizzled in his body, sending fire through every limb.
The men were closer now. He couldn’t get to all of them before they got too close.
A Vallos soldier was right in front of his face. Aren gasped, the world suddenly coming into sharp focus around him. His ability to detach slipped through his fingers.
The soldier made a fist and Aren leaned back to avoid it. It grazed his cheek. He focused on the man’s neck.
Aren had meant to break his neck, but instead blood spurted from it. Everything was red. The soldier clapped his hand to it as he fell to his knees.
Aren’s body felt heavy from using his magic, and he closed his eyes for a moment. He’d lost Olivia’s hand and he had to work harder to detach this time.
“Aren!” Olivia’s voice cut through the chaos and he opened his eyes just in time to see a soldier running straight toward him, sword drawn.
Aren tossed him aside. He forced the noise out of his head and focused only on the soldiers in front of him.
Bones broke. Heads rolled through the dirt.
He could hear Olivia laughing.
He tried to laugh. Nothing.
But there was more blood. Soldiers were running away from him. Olivia picked a few of them off.
He wiped his arm across his forehead. Everything was wet.
He looked down. Blood.
Pain seared across his flesh, and he cocked his head as he watched the new Ruined mark on the inside of his wrist split open. Weakling. They were shooting it at them.
But he couldn’t even feel it. Shouldn’t he have been able to feel it?
Ruined around him screamed, but he and Olivia stood their ground. The Vallos soldiers didn’t have nearly as much Weakling as the fortress did, and pieces of the herb fluttered to the ground.