“We need to go back to Lera,” Galo said. “We never intended to stay in Vallos. We were going to wait until you recovered and then return to Lera and build an army in the south. You’re not really going to give up, are you?”
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do! Jovita controls the army and the advisers!”
“You have Violet, which means you have the southern province, if you want it. The people in the south are going to be loyal to her. We can’t let Jovita get to them first.”
Maybe Em would kill Jovita sooner rather than later. He’d actually have a shot at reclaiming his throne with her gone.
Em’s furious face floated through his brain, and he suddenly realized he understood the expression on her face. She was ashamed of him. She always took charge, always acted like a leader, always stood up for her people.
And what did he do? He sat in bed. He wallowed. He offered to give up everything for a girl he knew he couldn’t have.
He sucked in a sharp breath as an idea occurred to him.
A leader acted. A leader took control. A leader seized opportunities.
“What?” Galo asked.
“Em’s going to kill Jovita.”
“Can’t say I’m torn up about that.”
“No… .” Hope swelled in Cas’s chest for the first time in days. “Let’s go back to the fortress.”
“Why?”
“I’m going to kill Jovita first.”
TWENTY-TWO
AREN OPENED HIS eyes, squinting in the orange light flooding the apartment. He scrubbed a hand down his face as his surroundings came into focus.
Iria.
The memory of last night rushed into his brain and he jerked up to a sitting position. She was sitting on the ground next to the window with her knees pulled to her chest. She turned when he moved, concern flitting across her face.
Would it be strange if he ran out the door? He could escape in less than three seconds.
He looked down. He was in his underwear.
He would look pretty ridiculous running to the door in his underwear.
More ridiculous than sitting on the floor while Iria cleaned blood off of him? Probably not.
Iria stood. “How are you feeling?”
Humiliated. Insane. Worried he might have a more tenuous grasp on reality than he’d thought.
He pulled the blankets a little farther up his waist. He’d been in less in front of a girl before, but he’d never felt this exposed.
She sat down on the edge of the bed, tucking her leg beneath her. If he reached out, he could take the hand resting on the mattress.
Had he fallen asleep holding her hand last night?
And he thought he’d reached his embarrassment limit.
She was staring at him. He hadn’t answered her question.
“I’m fine,” he lied. He cleared his throat. “Thank you.” His glanced to where she’d been sitting by the window. “You stayed here all night?”
“It was only a few hours. Sun just came up. And I didn’t think I should leave you.”
He wanted to say thank you. He stared at the blankets instead.
“Do you want to tell me what happened last night?” she asked.
How could he explain what he barely understood himself? “I … feel strange.” What an understatement.
“Strange,” she repeated.
“Olivia’s been teaching me how to use my powers without growing weak. How to detach so it doesn’t affect me. But it’s like … it’s like it makes me detach from myself too.”
“Oh.”
His bloody clothes were in the corner. How many had he killed last night? He didn’t even know. He used to keep track of how many hunters he killed, but now the number would be staggering.
“Maybe you’re not meant to detach,” Iria said. “Maybe you need to feel it.”
“It makes me so weak. And people here need me to fight. I’m the strongest person besides Olivia, and everyone is counting on me.”
“No one is counting on you to kill. Just because it’s what Olivia wants doesn’t make it right.”
Her dark eyes were fixed on his, and he had the sudden urge to pull her against him and hug her. He almost wished she’d climbed into the bed with him last night. He might have put his arms around her and fallen asleep with her head tucked into his neck.
“Maybe you should talk to Em,” she said after a long silence. “Tell her what’s happening.”
“What’s Em going to do? This is my problem. It’s not like Olivia is forcing me into anything.” Saying those words out loud released something horrible inside of him. His hands trembled.
Olivia wasn’t forcing him to do anything.
Not yet, anyway. He wouldn’t put it past her to force him to marry her. He took in a shaky breath. He needed to talk to Em about that. She was the only one who could stop her sister.
“What if you got away for a while?” Iria asked. “I was thinking of joining the mission up north. You could volunteer as one of the Ruined. There’s no way Olivia will come with us, and you can use the time to get your head on straight.”
“I think it might be twisted permanently,” he said dryly.
She put her hand on top of his head and smiled. “It looks all right to me.”
He returned the smile, relief poking a tiny hole through the dread in his chest. “That’s not a bad idea. I’ll ask Em.”
“Good.” She dropped her hand.
“Uh, you’ll go for sure, right? I’d feel more comfortable if you were there. You’re the only warrior I actually trust,” he added hastily.
Pink rose up her neck and to her cheeks. He tried to hide his grin. He was fully aware that he made plenty of girls blush, but it was different coming from Iria. He could still make her blush after seeing him at his worst?
“I’ll be there,” she said.
He reached for her hand almost against his will. He hadn’t decided to touch her, but it was like his body had other ideas.
Her fingers curled around his, soft and warm. Relief coursed through his bones, like the mere act of holding her hand was going to cure him of everything.
“Thanks, Iria,” he said quietly.
“Anytime.”
He released her hand, simply because it would be weird to keep it much longer. She climbed off the bed, but her gaze lingered on him.
“Your Ruined marks are coming back,” she said.
He stared at the thin white lines that intersected the scars on his chest. They didn’t look the same as they used to. They were lumpy and mangled from his burned flesh.
“Yeah. I have a lot of new ones.”
“Good. I didn’t like that they took that away from you too.”
He smiled at her and wished she hadn’t gotten off the bed. His fingers twitched to reach for her again.
“Um, I should go.” She turned away and strode to the door. “I’m going to try to get some sleep.”
“All right.” No. That wasn’t what he wanted to say. He wanted to ask her to stay. He wanted to tell her it would have been fine if she slept next to him in the bed. He wanted to tell her he felt better with her here.
He said none of it. “Bye,” he said as she walked out.
TWENTY-THREE
EM WAITED NEAR the wagon and horses in front of the barn, her heart in her throat. Part of her wanted to run to Cas and apologize. The other part of her wanted to smack him and tell him to stop being stupid. Had he really intended to give up everything for her?
He was headed her way with Galo, Mateo, and Violet in tow. Galo and Mateo walked past her to the wagon. Violet nodded at Em, chewing her lip like she was nervous. She climbed into the back of the wagon.
Cas stopped in front of Em. He didn’t seem angry. Or happy. In fact, the blank look on his face was maybe the worst expression she’d ever seen from him.
“I shouldn’t have asked to stay,” he said flatly. “I’m sorry I put you in that position.”
“Don’t apologize.
It’s not that I don’t want you to stay, it’s—”
“Please, don’t,” he interrupted. “Don’t explain it anymore.”
She nodded, taking in a shaky breath.
“I have a proposition for you,” he said.
“What’s that?”
“I want to kill Jovita.”
She reeled back. “What?”
“Let me kill Jovita. I can get access to her.”
“How?”
“We’re going back to the fortress,” he said, gesturing to the wagon. “I’m going to tell Jovita I realized she was right about the Ruined.”
“She tried to kill you. She may lock you away again, especially if she’s suspicious of your return.”
“Let me take them information. Jovita claimed I was insane because I didn’t want to kill the Ruined—if I return having changed my mind, with useful information about you, she won’t be able to lock me up again.”
“What information do you want to take them?”
“The diarchy. Your impending marriage to August. Your plan to kill her. I’ll tell them I discovered a plot to attack the fortress and kill Jovita within a month.”
“And if we don’t attack within a month?”
“She’ll be dead by then.”
Em shook her head. “It’s too dangerous. Jovita has a lot of supporters, and the information you have isn’t enough.”
“Then give me something. A map, a plan, something concrete I can take to Jovita. I’ll say I stole it.”
She shook her head. “I don’t know if I have anything that …” She let her voice trail off, considering the various maps and plans she had locked away at home. “I wrote a letter for the Ruined and warriors to take to the soldiers at Gallego City. It basically details our position here and pledges our continued support of Olso. There’s nothing too specific, but I do allude to getting rid of Lera leaders. And I put the Flores seal on it.”
“Perfect. I’ll say I intercepted a messenger.”
Em started to turn, then reconsidered and faced Cas again. “Are you sure? You can’t just walk up to Jovita and stick a knife in her gut. Her people may revolt and kill you.”
“I know. Give me time. A few weeks. Let me bring some of the advisers over to my side. With Violet’s help, we may be able to turn some people. At the very least, I can take control of the southern province. Then I’ll figure out the best way to get rid of her.”
“Or you can allow us access to the fortress and we’ll do it.”
“Too many people would die. If you brought Olivia in …” He shook his head.
“She might get carried away,” Em finished.
“Yes.”
“In the meantime, I can be your eyes and ears in the fortress. They’ll attack you again soon, you have to know that.”
“We’re counting on it.”
“Then let me find out when. You’ll be prepared and Jovita will be humiliated a second time. It will be easy for me to convince everyone she doesn’t deserve the throne. Maybe I can take it back and then order her executed for treason.”
“Could you do that?” Em asked quietly.
“Yes.”
She rubbed her thumb across her necklace. Having someone inside the fortress was more than she could have hoped for.
“If anyone found out you were giving information to the Ruined …”
“They would chop my head off,” Cas finished.
“You’d have to sneak out of the fortress at least a couple times to bring me information. Could you do that?”
“I’m sure I could figure it out,” he said. “And you understand that this all hinges on our agreement? That the Ruined don’t attack us?”
“Of course. Once you reclaim the throne, we’ll all go back to Ruina and leave you alone.”
“And if you marry August?”
“What do you mean?” Her cheeks warmed.
“Will you be able to keep that promise if you marry August?”
“I have no control over the warriors, but I promise I’ll never send Ruined to Lera to help. I’ll make that clear if … if I marry him.” The words stuck in her throat, and she swallowed hard. “I’ll get you that letter.”
She took off to her apartment. It was mercifully empty when she stepped inside, and she let out a sigh of relief. She didn’t want to explain this to Olivia.
She grabbed the letter from the desk drawer in her bedroom, turning it over to make sure the green Flores seal was still intact. It was. She turned and jogged out of the apartment.
She extended the letter to Cas as she approached him. “Don’t forget to break the seal before you get back to the fortress. Otherwise you might have a hard time explaining how you know what it says.”
He nodded and pulled a folded-up piece of paper out of his pocket. “I’m going to try to get away in five days. I’ve marked on that map where I’ll be.”
She unfolded the paper and looked at the rough sketch of the fortress and land in between.
“Can someone meet me in five days? I’ll relay information then,” he said.
“I can do it.”
“If I’m not there, try to come the next day. If I don’t show up either day, assume I’m dead or something went wrong.”
She folded the map back up and clutched it a little too hard. “Please be careful, Cas. Jovita’s not an idiot. She’ll be suspicious of you.”
“Of course she will. But I’m sure she’ll appreciate being told she was right.”
“Don’t—” She cut herself off, unsure if he wanted her opinion about this.
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t be nice to her. Or to anyone. Go in there and threaten to execute everyone for treason.”
His eyebrows shot up. “I don’t think that will earn me any friends.”
“You need their respect, not their friendship. Don’t cower when you go back. You’re their king. Remind them of it.”
He held her gaze for a moment. “I will.” He began to walk past her and she grabbed his wrist, pulling him to a stop.
“I don’t want to marry August,” she whispered. His eyes darted to hers. “I have to make smart choices, but it’s not what I want. You’re the only one I want.”
He shook her hand off, and for a moment she thought he was going to walk away. But he turned, grabbed her around the waist, and roughly pulled her against him. She wrapped her arms around him.
He put one hand on the back of her head, holding it steady as he pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Thanks for the push.”
He released her and quickly turned away.
Cas sat in the back of the wagon with Violet, their legs hanging out the open back door. Mateo hung a blue shirt as a makeshift flag on top of the wagon, and it flapped in the breeze as the horses plodded through the forest.
He ripped open the letter as they neared the fortress. Em’s handwriting was messier than he’d expected, the letters loopy and running into each other. It made his chest ache. He slipped the letter into his pocket.
“I can’t decide if this is brave or stupid,” Violet said.
“I guess we’ll find out.” The sun was sinking lower in the sky, and he lifted a hand to shield his eyes. “Thanks for sticking with me.”
“Don’t make me regret it.” She grinned and bumped her shoulder against his.
He had to force his smile. “I’ll try.”
“I see the fortress!” Galo called from the front of the wagon. “I think we’re being watched. They’re letting us get close. Do you want to go to the front or back?”
“Front,” Cas replied. “Stop a good distance from the gate and we’ll walk the rest of the way.”
Galo obeyed, and the horses came to a stop a few minutes later. Cas offered Violet his hand as they jumped out. The gates of the fortress loomed ahead of them. The wall had been almost fully repaired while he was gone. Five guards stood in front of the gate.
“Behind me,” Cas said to his friends. Galo, Mateo, and Violet lined up behind him.
One of the guards had an arrow pointed at him, and Cas lifted his hands in surrender as he walked. “I don’t think you want to shoot your king!”
The guard slowly lowered his bow. “Your Majesty?”
“Nice to see you again, Jared,” Galo said from behind him.
“We didn’t know you’d be returning, Your Majesty,” Jared said. He whispered something to the other guards. The gate opened. One quickly hurried inside.
“Why wouldn’t he return?” Galo asked. Jared just swallowed.
“Should I wait here?” Cas asked, stopping a few paces from the guard.
“Um …” Jared looked behind him, obviously flustered. “The order was not to let anyone in without Jovita’s approval… .”
“He’s your king,” Galo spat.
“It’s fine,” Cas said. “Best to be cautious. I’ll wait here.” Jared. Loyal to Jovita. He repeated the name several times in his head. He needed to memorize it.
His cousin burst through the gate, utter disbelief on her face. Danna and Julieta followed her. People flooded the courtyard behind them. Jovita yelled for them to go back inside, but no one moved.
Jovita let out an annoyed breath and stomped to Cas. “Cas.” The scar on her cheek twitched. “I thought …”
“You thought perhaps I was still locked in my room? You did make it very hard for me to leave.”
Silence fell over the crowd. Shock colored a few faces.
Jovita narrowed her eyes at him. “I thought you abandoned your kingdom. Considering you ran away in the middle of the night like a criminal.”
“I was poisoned. I thought it best that I leave while I recovered.”
Gasps rippled through the crowd.
“Are you all right, Your Majesty?” Julieta asked.
“I am, thank you. Galo took care of the guard who did it.” Cas strode forward, sidestepping Jovita. “Advisers, follow me.” He looked over his shoulder to see Jovita rooted in place. “Now.”
The guards rushed to open the front door for him, and he walked inside and straight to the meeting room. He took the seat at the head of the table. Violet sat next to him, and the other advisers took their seats around her. Cas motioned for Galo and Mateo to stay in the room. They both hovered near him.