My chest tightened. “What the fuck does—”
This time Deloris lifted her hand.
“Bryce, please.”
“It’s simple, darling, you or I’ll send for my whore.”
The muscles in my neck clenched.
“Maybe both? Perhaps you’d like to see what happens when—”
“Alton said she’d move back after the party.”
“I didn’t say I was having her brought here to stay, only to prove my point. She can return. Surely she’ll still be able to walk.”
“Stop. I’ll be there.”
“What did she just say?” I screamed at the computer.
“…my good girl. Be sure to tell my mother how much you appreciate her company.”
“Yes. I need to get ready.”
“You do that. I’ll see you soon. I’m sure you’ll enjoy our afternoon plans.”
“Goodbye, Bryce.”
Silence filled the line.
Deloris’s eyes met mine.
My jaw ached as I said, “He needs to suffer.”
“I’ve been thinking…”
“MRS. FITZGERALD.”
My eyelids were so heavy, so incredibly thick. Yet I knew the voice. I concentrated on opening them. Slowly at first, I allowed just a slit of light. It was there, the world beyond my closed eyes. I blinked once and then twice.
Light blue walls. White trim. Monitors and beeps.
I blinked again.
“Praise the Lord! Mrs. Fitzgerald. You going to open those eyes today?”
My lids fluttered as she came into view. “J-Jane? Is that you?”
“Yes, yes! Ma’am, I’m here. I’m with you.”
I let out a long breath and closed my eyes. So tired.
Jane was here? Why? This wasn’t my home. I wasn’t in my suite.
That reality had been made painfully clear each time I’d awakened over the last few hours, or was it days? Maybe it was weeks? When had time lost its meaning?
I sucked in a deep breath as my tongue darted to my rough, crusty lips, snagging the flaking skin. “I-I’m thirsty.”
A straw appeared at my lips.
“Here you go, Mrs. Fitzgerald. You drink.”
I did. Slurp after slurp. I sipped the cool, clear liquid filling my mouth, covering my tongue and coating my throat. Each drop was heaven, like rain to parched Georgia clay.
When she pulled it away, I slowly opened my eyes. She was real. Jane was real. Her lovely brown skin glowed. I sought out her knowing eyes.
For the first time, in what seemed like a lifetime, my cheeks rose and lips parted. “You’re the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen.” I lifted my heavy hand, searching for hers.
Warmth enveloped mine as she took it and squeezed. “Ma’am, you’re a mighty good sight yourself.”
I shook my head. “I-I doubt that.”
The room beyond Jane came back into view. Sterile. That had been one of the words going through my head in recent memory. “How? What happened?” I lowered my voice. “Jane, did I take those pills?”
“Not the ones I took. I still has them.”
“Then…” I tried to remember. “I don’t understand.”
“Ma’am, you get better. That’s all that matters. You’re talking. Wait until Miss Alex sees you.”
My smile faded. Miss Alex, my daughter. I’d dreamt about her, but it wasn’t real. I couldn’t remember how long it had been since I’d seen her. Then again, my memories were fuzzy, distant, out of reach. “Maybe one day. Alexandria is busy with her life.”
“No, Mrs. Fitzgerald. She’s been here—every day. She’s been takin’ care of you. She’s the one who’s been bossing around your nurses.”
“I-I thought it was a dream.”
“No dream. It’s real.” Jane squeezed my hand.
My heart leapt as the beeps of the machines created an even rhythm. I tried to think. If Alexandria had really been with me, could Oren have been too? “Whom else, Jane? Whom else has come to see me?”
Jane shrugged. “I don’t know exactly. Mr. Fitzgerald and Mr. Spencer, they come with Miss Alex.
“Ma’am, your head… does it hurt?”
I assessed my head. “No, it doesn’t.” Squinting my eyes, I asked, “Why would Alexandria be here with Mr. Spencer?”
“They… well, they engaged. There’s a big party tonight at the manor to announce it, all official-like.”
“What? Why? What happened to Lennox?”
“Her beau from New York?” Jane shook her head. “She came back. She’s doing what she need to do.”
I tried to lift my arm. “Jane, help me sit up.” My right arm was attached to a web of tubes. There were only two needles, but each one divided and split. I tugged again. “I want out of here. I need to see my daughter, to talk to her.”
She reached for the button and sat me up. “I was with her last night. She might not be able to be here today. She has that party, but, ma’am, she’ll do her best to come Sunday.”
“Sunday? What day is… try? What do you mean?”
“Mr. Spencer… he—”
No. I couldn’t let her do that. I pulled harder. The needles tugged against my skin and pulled at the tape. “Jane, get these out. I need to talk to her. She can’t…” I tugged harder. “This doesn’t need…”
Alarms sounded.
Beep! Beep!
Sirens wailed and lights flashed their echoes and flickers filling the room.
“W-what’s happening?” Jane asked as the door flew open. It bounced off the wall as person after person rushed into the small space, shouting orders.
“Ma’am, get out.”
“Miss Collins said—”
“Ma’am…”
A man in scrubs pushed Jane backward as others rushed toward my monitors.
“Please, let her stay!”
Jane’s big brown eyes opened wider as they backed her away.
“Wait! Jane, tell Alexandria…”
A woman pulled at my IV. I turned in time to watch her insert a syringe.
“Please, no. I want those out. Jane…”
Voices faded… the room disappeared.
Had it been real? Had I really talked to Jane?
Or was it make-believe? My mind playing tricks. Maybe it was a performance, a play, and the curtain had fallen. The scene was over… and now the theater was empty.
“J-Jane…” I tried to scream. “No!” The word didn’t come. My lips no longer moved.
So heavy. Everything was so heavy.
“Wake up, Adelaide, I’m here. You’re safe.”
As his gorgeous blue eyes filled my vision, small crinkles formed in their corners. I pushed back toward the pillow and admired the incredible man in my bed. More accurately, the man in the bed we were sharing.
I lifted my palm to his cheek and savored the abrasive beard growth. Before my thoughts could wander, I said, “I’m sorry, Oren. Did I wake you?”
Warm lips peppered my forehead as his masculine scent filled my senses. Cologne mixed with intensity. It was an addicting potion, one I needed to quit, but like every other addiction, I’d been too weak. That was part of my nightmare, the part that I didn’t want to do.
I inhaled, letting the magic scent enveloping us settle my taut nerves.
“I’d wake with you every day,” he said.
“I didn’t mean to… I was dreaming.”
Oren sat up and pulled me toward him. Resting my head on his chest filled my ears with the rhythmic beat of his heart. Without thinking, my fingers found their way to his fine, dark chest hair. I twirled the softness with my manicured nails as I relished his strong arm around my shoulder.
His deep voice rumbled through his chest. “It sounded a little less like a dream and more like a nightmare.”
I shrugged in his embrace. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Oren shifted, laying me back on the pillow and hovering above. “Adelaide, how many years have we been seeing one an
other?”
I extended my bottom lip, playing up my Southern charm. “Don’t you know?”
His nose came close to mine as warm breath skirted my cheeks. “I know the number of minutes. My point is that there’s nothing you can say that I can’t hear. You’ve heard my woes, my regrets. How, after that, could I ever hold anything against you?”
I lifted my lips to his. “You see, Mr. Demetri, I’m not a good woman. I’m an unfaithful wife. That’s a mortal sin. I’m doomed to hell. There’s nothing I can do about it.”
His features contorted. “Adelaide, that pains me. I’m the cause of your damnation, but I do believe there’s one recourse for salvation.”
“You do? And what would that be… confession?”
“You just confessed.”
“Then what can I do to do to find redemption?”
I knew the answer. I just didn’t want to say it.
He reached for my hand, bringing it out from under the blanket. “You replace this ring with mine.”
A lump formed in my throat. “I-I—”
“Don’t say you won’t…or say you can’t… say not yet.”
“Oren, my future is set. It has been.”
“My love, you’ve already experienced damnation. It’s time for you to experience the life you deserve. You’ve been in hell. Let me give you a slice of heaven.”
I began to speak, but his firm lips captured mine, taking away my rebuttal.
“Not yet…” he encouraged. “You can say it.”
I shook my head. “I can’t hurt you any more than I have. I won’t give you false hope.”
“What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Don’t you deserve hope?” he asked.
“No. I don’t. I don’t deserve any of this. But Alexandria does.”
“She’s still in high school.”
“Yes, she has so much ahead of her.”
“And so should you.”
My eyes closed. It was my nightmare, the one I’d been dreading. “Oren,” I took a deep breath. Securing the sheet over my breasts, I moved to the edge of the bed. “I-I came to see you this last time for a reason.”
He moved behind me, his scruffy chin on my shoulder. “Adelaide, not the last. We have our entire lives. You can see me for whatever reason you want. The sky is blue. The grass is green. I’m available for you whenever.”
I shook my head. “It’s not fair.” I stood and paced, the sheet creating a flowing train that twisted around my legs as I walked back and forth. “I’ve been thinking about Angelina.”
“About Angelina? Why?”
“The two of you… you deserve to find that again. I’m holding you back.”
Oren stood, his voice booming. “What the hell?”
It was my nightmare. The man I loved… I knew he was capable of darkness—he had to be. He couldn’t have confessed to the things he’d said he’d done without a dark side. Yet, I’d never seen it.
Not until now.
As his features morphed I took a step back, anticipating the anger from my nightmare. The more I’d thought about this day, this goodbye, the more frequent the nightmares came. It was time. I had to face him. I had to face the change from Oren to Alton.
Maybe part of me wanted that. I needed to see it to truly walk away.
“Adelaide, I found that kind of love… in you. You are il mio amore. I don’t want any other woman.”
His love.
Tears filled my eyes. “No. This has gone on too long. For years—years that you could have been with someone out in the open, someone who could be with you day in and day out, and someone who could help you care for Lennox and Silvia. I’ve been selfish.”
As Oren reached for my shoulders, I flinched.
“Stop it,” he said, not letting me go.
“Please…”
“Adelaide, you know I’d never hurt you. I told you the truth. I wanted you to know what I’d done. Be honest with me. Is that the reason you want to end this, because of him? Because you can’t be with a man like me?”
A man like him… A loving, kind, and forgiving man. A man whose mere presence makes my heart beat faster and whose words melt my insides until there’s nothing left that could possibly stand without his strong arms. Was that what he meant?
No.
He’d asked me if I could live with a man who’d done dark, terrible things. A man who’d done what he needed to do, not only for his goals, but for his family and dreams. A man who’d done what my father had demanded.
I could live my life with him. I wanted Oren with everything in me.
Russell’s fate was sealed with or without Oren Demetri the day he threatened to leave me and take Alexandria.
I would live with what Oren had done. I could love him for the rest of my life, but that answer wouldn’t sever this relationship. It wouldn’t set this wonderful man free.
I lifted my chin. “I can’t. It was fun while it lasted, but no. I can’t.”
Oren’s hands dropped, their gentle grip leaving my shoulders and falling to his sides. “I thought…”
“You thought wrong. I’ve had a good time, but it’s time I work on my marriage.”
“He’s a pig. You’ll accept him over me?”
A thousand times no.
“Yes.” As his blue eyes lost their luster, it was confirmed. I didn’t deserve Oren Demetri. Straightening my shoulders, I walked to the bathroom. “Goodbye, Oren. Please leave.”
“Momma?”
I didn’t try to respond. It wasn’t any more real than Oren or Jane.
AS WE APPROACHED, I saw Jane pacing nervously outside Momma’s door.
“What happened?” I asked, rushing ahead of Suzanna.
Jane’s dark eyes overflowed with tears, leaving her cheeks damp. “Oh, Miss Alex, she was talking. She was good… so good.” She reached for my hands. “And then she got upset. She wanted to talk to you. I didn’t know you was coming. She pulled at her IVs. Alarms and lights. They all came running in… They gave her more medicine.”
“She was talking?”
Jane nodded. “Yes. I told her you were here. She thought she’d dreamed you.” A hint of a smile blossomed behind her sadness. “I told her that you was real. You are.”
“What’s this all about?” Suzanna asked, coming up to us.
Jane stood taller and wiped her cheeks.
“Momma was awake and talking,” I explained.
“And you’re upset? Why? Why aren’t we in there? What did she say?”
Jane turned toward her. “She asked questions.”
“What questions?”
“She asked who visited her.”
“Oh, Jane…” I said. “She’s going to be better.”
Jane nodded hopefully.
“What did she remember?” Suzanna asked. “Was she hallucinating?”
I turned. “Why would you assume she was hallucinating?”
“Dear, I’m not assuming. I know how delusional she’d been.”
Jane spoke to me. “Miss Collins, whatever they gave her knocked her out real fast. I’m worried it’s hurting her.”
I looked past her into the room. There were three people standing around her bed. “I’ll find out.”
Suzanna reached for my arm. “They are doctors and nurses. I’d assume they know more about her care than a maid.”
“Excuse me?”
“What?”
“Suzanna, thank you for coming here with me. I’d like some privacy as I speak to Momma’s doctors.”
“I didn’t come with you. You wouldn’t be here without me.” She adjusted the purse hanging from her wrist and turned back to Jane. “Why are you here? Do you not have enough work at the manor to keep you busy?”
“She has plenty of work. I asked her to come here. Momma asked for her.”
“She asked for you?” Suzanna asked, her nose wrinkling on the last word.
“Yes, ma’am, she did. Miss Collins, you let me know
what I can do for your momma.”
I reached for her hand. “Jane, come with me to talk to the doctors. You were there. You can tell them what happened.” I turned to Suzanna. “Be a dear…” My tone dripped with sugar, sweeter than Southern sweet tea. “…give us a minute. There’s a beautiful courtyard. If you go and have a seat, I’ll have a nice cup of coffee sent out there. Once we know what’s happening, I’ll come get you.”
“Bryce would not be pleased.”
My eyes opened wide and hands flew to my chest. “I’d hope not! I’m sure someone as empathetic as your son would be devastated that my momma was on the edge of recovery and took a downward spiral.” I leaned closer. “That is what you meant? Wasn’t it?”
“Well…”
I waved to a man in an all-white uniform. “Sir, could you please get my future mother-in-law a cup of coffee with cream and two sugars? She’ll be in the courtyard.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He turned to Suzanna. “May I show you the way?”
Her chin lifted. “Alexandria, I’ll be back in ten minutes.”
“I can’t wait.”
I reached for Jane’s hand and tugged her into Momma’s room. The bottom of the door scraped against the floor as it opened.
“I told you—” A man spoke without turning.
I stood taller. “Excuse me. Are you speaking to me?”
The man spun. “Oh, Miss Collins…”
“What happened?”
“Your mother had another incident. We had to medicate her.”
“Have you tried to find out exactly what happened?”
“She was talking,” Jane volunteered.
“We don’t need to ask. Your mother is closely monitored. The alarms told us all we needed to know.”
I took a step forward and gasped at the ties once again around her wrists. “Undo those restraints. What is your problem?”
“She was trying to remove her IVs. You don’t seem to understand that these are for her own good.”
“She is unconscious. Remove them now. I’ll sit with her and assure her compliance.”
“Ma’am, with the amount of medication she was given, she won’t be regaining consciousness for quite a while.”
My skin tingled as the incompetency unraveled my last nerve. “Then remove the restraints now.”