it off in a minute. But since it was S: I turned pale and phoned
Granville.
I have always been as soppy as any old lady over my pets and I suspect
ma of my colleagues are the same. I listened apprehensively to the
buzz-buzz at t far end, then the big voice came on the line.
"Bennett here."
"Hello, Granville, it's . . ."
"Jim!" The boom of delight was flattering.
"Where have you been hiding yourself, laddie?"
He didn't know how near he was to the truth. I told him about Sam.
-.~.
"Doesn't sound much, old son, but I'll have a look at him with
pleasure. ~ you what We've been trying to get you over here for a meal
why not bring the little chap with you?"
"Well . . ."A whole evening in Granville's hands it was a daunting
prospect.
~Now don't mess about, Jim. You know, there's a wonderful Indian
restaurant in Newcastle Zoe and I would love to take you both out
there. It's about time we met your wife, isn't it?"
"Yes . . . of course it is . . . Indian restaurant, eh?"
"Yes, laddie. Superb curries mild, medium or blast your bloody head
off.
Onion bhajis, bhuna lamb, gorgeous nan bread."
My mind was working fast.
"Sounds marvellous, Granville."It did seem fairly Secure He was most
dangerous on his own territory and it would take forty-five minuteS,
driving each way to Newcastle. Then maybe an hour and a half in the
restaurant I should be reasonably safe for most of the evening There
was just the bit at his house before we left that was the only worry.
It was uncanny how he seemed to read my thoughts.
"Before we leave, Jim, we'll have a little session in my garden."
"Your garden?" It sounded strange in November.
"That's right, old lad."
Ah well, maybe he was proud of his late chrysanthemums, and I couldn't
see myself coming to much harm these.
"Well, fine, Granville. Maybe Wednesday night ?"
"Lovely, lovely, lovely can't wait to meet Helen."
Wednesday was one of those bright frosty late autumn days which turn
misty in the afternoon and by six o'clock the countryside was blanketed
by one of the thickest fogs I had ever seen in Yorkshire.
Creeping along in our little car, my nose almost on the windscreen, I
muttered against the glass.
"God's truth, Helen, we'll never get to Newcastle tonight! I know
Granville's some driver but you can't see ten yards out there."
Almost at walking pace we covered the twenty miles to the Bennett
residence and it was with a feeling of relief that I saw the brightly
lit doorway rising out of the mirk.
Granville, as vast and impressive as ever, was there in the hall with
arms outspread. Bashfulness had never been one of his problems and he
folded my wife in a bear-like embrace.
"Helen, my pet," he said and kissed her fondly and lingeringly. He
stopped to take a breath, regarded her for a moment with deep
appreciation then kissed her again.
I shook hands decorously with Zoe and the two girls were introduced.
They made quite a picture standing there. An attractive woman is a
gift from heaven and it was a rare bonus to see two of them in close
proximity. Helen very dark and blue-eyed, Zoe brown-haired with eyes
of greyish-green, but both of them warm and smiling.
Zoe had her usual effect on me. That old feeling was welling up; the
desire to look my best, in fact better than my best. I cast a furtive
glance at the hall mirror. Immaculately suited, clean shirted, freshly
shaven, I was sure I projected the desired image of the clean-limbed
young veterinary surgeon, the newly married man of high principles and
impeccable behaviour.
I breathed a silent prayer of thanks that at last she was seeing me
stone cold sober and normal. Tonight I would expunge all her squalid
memories of me from her mind.
"Zoe, my sweet," carolled Granville.
"Take Helen into the garden while I see Jim's dog."
I blinked. The garden in this fog. I just didn't get it, but I was
anxious about your dog ?" | "Why do you call Phoebe Phoebles?" I
countered swiftly.
`~. I! ~ TT_ I_~__~ ~:- 6~_A-f "T'll ~-t m`~ en~'inment Hang on Vets
Sam to give the thing much thought. I opened the car door and the
beagle trots into the house.
My colleague greeted him with delight.
"Come inside, my little man." Th he hollered at the top of his
voice.
"Phoebles! Victoria! Yoo-hoo! Come and in cousin Sam!"
The obese Staffordshire bull terrier waddled in, closely followed by
the Yorki who bared her teeth in an ingratiating smile at all
present.
After the dogs had met and exchanged pleasantries Granville lifted Sam
in his arms. .
"Is that what you mean, Jim? Is that what you're worried about?"
I nodded dumbly. .
"Good God, I could take a deep breath and blow the damn thing off!"
looked at me incredulously and smiled.
"Jim, old lad, why are you so daft aba -wn wen . . . mc ClCdl CU l
tti' ~t 5~ ) ~'t"" minute."
He disappeared and came back with a syringe and scissors. About half a
was enough to numb the part, then he snipped off the papilloma, applied
S01 styptic and put the beagle on the floor. The operation took about
two minus but even in that brief spell his unique dexterity was
manifest.
"That'll be ten guineas, Mr Herriot," he murmured, then gave a shout
laughter.
"Come on, let's get into the garden. Sam will be quite happy with r
dogs." ~ .
He led me out of the back door and we stumbled through the fog by a
rockc and rose bushes. I was just wondering how on earth he expected
to show I any thing in this weather when we came up against a stone
outhouse. He tier' open the door and I stepped into a brightly lit,
sparkling Aladdin's cave.
It was quite simply a fully fitted bar. At the far end a polished
counter wi beer handles and, behind, a long row of bottles of every
imaginable liquor.
fire crackled in the hearth and hunting prints, cartoons and bright
posters look down from the walls. It was completely authentic.
Granville saw my astonished face and laughed.
"All right, eh, Jim? I thou' it would be a nice idea to have my own
little pub in the garden. Rather co isn't it?"
"Yes . . . yes indeed . . . charming."
"Good, good." My colleague slipped behind the counter.
"Now what are y going to have?"
Helen and Zoe took sherry and I made a quick decision to stick to one
farely harmless drink.
"Gin and tonic, please, Granville."
The girls received a normal measure of sherry but when the big man took
i glass over to the gin bottle hanging on the wall his hand seemed to
be overcome by an uncontrollable trembling. The bottle was upended
with one of those lit optic attachments you push up with the rim of the
glass to give a single measure But as I say, as Granville inserted the
neck of the bottle into the glass I whole arm jerked repeatedly as
though h
e were going into a convulsion. It obvious that the result
would be about six gins instead of one and I was ate.
to remonstrate when he took the glass away and topped it up quickly
with more ice and sliced lemon.
I looked at it apprehensively.
"Rather a big one, isn't it?"
"Not at all, laddie, nearly all tonic. Well, cheers, so nice to see
you both."
And it certainly was. They were generous, warm people and veterinary
like ourselves. I felt a gush of gratitude for the friendliness they
had always ShOwn me and as I sipped my drink, which was chokingly
strong, I felt as I had often done that these contacts were one of the
brightest rewards of my job.
Granville held out his hand.
"Have another, laddie."
~Well, hadn't we better be get ting on our way? It's a terrible night
in fact I don't see us ever get ting to Newcastle in this fog."
"Nonsense, old son." He took my glass, reached up to the gin bottle
and again was seized with a series of violent tremors of the forearm.
"No problem, Jim.
Straight along the north road half an hour or so know it like the back
of my hand.
The four of us stood around the fire. The girls clearly had a lot to
say to each other and Granville and I, like all vets, talked shop. It
is wonderful how easy veterinary practice is in a warm room with good
company and a dollop of alcohol in the stomach.
"One for the road, Jim," my colleague said.
"No really, Granville, I've had enough," I replied firmly.
"Let's be off."
"Jim, Jim." The familiar hurt look was creeping over his face.
"There's no rush. Look, we'll just have this last one while I tell you
about this gorgeous restaurant."
Once more he approached the gin bottle and this time the rigor lasted
so long I wondered if he had some history of malaria.
Glass in hand he expounded.
"It's not just the curry, the cooking in general is exquisite." He put
his fingers to his lips and blew a reverent kiss into space "The
flavours are unbelievable. All the spices of the orient, Jim."
He went on at length and I wished he would stop because he was making
me hungry. I had had a hard day round the farms and had eaten very
little with the evening's feast in view, and as my colleague waved his
hand around and drew word pictures of how they blended the rare herbs
with the meat and fish then served it on a bed of saffron rice, I was
almost drooling.
I was relieved when I got through the third massive drink and Granville
squeezed round to the front of the bar as if ready to go. We were on
our way out when a man's bulk loomed in the doorway.
"Raymond!" cried Granville in delight.
"Come in, I've been wanting you to meet Jim Herriot. Jim,-this is one
of my neighbours likes a bit of gardening, don't you Raymond?"
The man replied with a fat chuckle.
"Right, old boy! Splendid garden, this!"
Granville seemed to know a lot of large, red-faced hearty men and this
was one more.
My friend was behind the counter again.
"We must just have one with Raymond."
I felt trapped as he again pressed my glass against the bottle and went
into another paroxysm, but the girls didn't seem to mind. They were
still deep in conversation and seemed unaware of the passage of time or
the ravages of hunger.
Raymond was just leaving when Tubby Pinder dropped in. He was another
enthusiastic horticulturist and I wasn't surprised to see that he was
large, red faced and hearty.
We had to have one with Tubby and I noticed with some alarm that after
another palsied replenishment of my glass he had to replace the empty
gin bottle with a fresh one. If the first one had been full then I had
consumed nearly all of it.
I could hardly believe it when at last we were in the hall putting on
our coats.
Granville was almost purring with contentment.
"You two are going to love this place. It will be a joy to lead you
through the menu. Outside the fog was thicker than ever. My colleague
backed his enormous Bentley from the garage and began to usher us
inside with great ceremony I installed Helen and Zoe in the back,
clucking solicitously over them, then ~ helped me into the passenger
seat in front as though I were a disabled old ma tucking my coat in,
adjusting the angle of the seat for maximum comfort showing me how the
cigar lighter worked, lighting up the glove com partment enquiring
which radio programme I desired.
At last he himself was in residence behind the wheel, massive and com
pa Beyond the windscreen the fog parted for a second to show a steep,
almost vertical grassy bank opposite the house, then it closed down
like a dirty yellow curtain cutting off everything.
"Granville," I said.
"We'll never get to Newcastle in this. It's over thirty miles He
turned and gave me a gentle smile.
"Absolutely no problem, laddie. ~ be there in half an hour, sampling
that wonderful food. Tandoori chicken, the spices of the orient, old
son. Don't worry about a thing I really know the roads. No chance of
losing my way."
He started the engine and drove confidently off, but unfortunately
instead taking the orthodox route along the road he proceeded straight
up the grassy bank. He didn't seem to notice as the nose of the great
car rose steadily trig but when we had achieved an angle of forty-five
degrees Zoe broke in gently from the back.
"Granville, dear, you're on the grass."
My colleague looked round in some surprise.
"Not at all, my love. The ~ slopes a little here if you remember." He
kept his foot on the throttle. ;4 I said nothing as my feet rose and
my head went back. There was a p when the Bentley was almost
perpendicular and I thought we were going ~ backwards, then I heard Zoe
again. ~, "Granville, darling." There was a hint of urgency in her
tone.
"You're going up the bank."
This time it seemed her husband was prepared to concede a little.
"Yes . . . yes, my pet," he murmured as we hung there, all four of us
gazing up at the fog-shrouded sky.
"Possibly I have strayed a little on to the verge."
He took his foot off the brake and the car shot backwards at
frightening speed into the darkness. We were brought up by a grinding
crunch from the rear.
Zoe again: "You've hit Mrs Thompson's wall, dear."
"Have I, sweetheart? Ah, one moment. We'll soon be on our way."
With undiminished aplomb he let in his clutch and we surged forward
powerfully. But only for two seconds. From the gloom ahead there
sound.
dull crash followed by a tinkling of glass and metal.
"Darling," Zoe piped.
"That was the thirty miles an hour sign.
"Was it really, my angel?" Granville rubbed his hand on the window. '
know, Jim, the visibility isn't too good." He paused for a moment.
"Perhaps it would be a good idea if we postponed our visit till another
time."
He manoeuvred the
big car back into the garage and we got out. We
covered, I should think, about five yards on our journey to
Newcastle.
Back in the garden bar, Granville was soon in full cry again. And I
was for it because my earlier trepidation had vanished entirely. I was
floating happy haze and I offered no resistance as my colleague jerked
and twit.
more samples from the gin bottle.
Suddenly he held up a hand.
"I'm sure we're all starving. Let's have some ~Zoe, sweet," he said.
"We can use the big can of saveloy sausages if you would sHjhs wife
lePft for the kitchen and Helen touched my arm.
"Jim," she said.
"Saveloys ... ?"
I knew what she meant. I have a pretty good digestion but there are
certain thingS I can't eat. A single saveloy was enough to bring my
entire metabolism to a halt, but at that moment it seemed a