She’d needed to keep the threat fresh in her mind, because the passage of time breeds complacency. Given enough distance from them, we start to forget how badly pain hurts and how scary fear feels, and when that happens, we lose our edge. I could understand that.
But… “You’re not in this alone.”
“I know. That’s the problem. They’ve already killed several toms, including one of your enforcers.”
Leo. We’d found his head stuffed and mounted on the wall of the cabin the hunters had lured Abby to with her human roommate as bait.
“After they get me, they’ll go after someone else. If they can’t get me, they’ll go after someone else. We can’t let that happen. I can’t let that happen.”
Did she think killing the first three hunters made their entire sick club her responsibility? “Abby, you can’t hold yourself at fault for what the hunters do. This is my territory. I’m responsible for killing them and catching the stray, and I will never let any of them near you.”
“I know you won’t.” She stared up at me, and her eyes were swimming with an overwhelming mix of fear, trust, and determination.
I pulled her into a hug. The printout floated to the floor, face down. “They’d have to go through all of us to get to you. Luke and Isaac included.”
“I know.” She laid her head on my chest. Moisture soaked through my shirt from her damp curls, and suddenly I was humiliatingly aware that she was still pressed against me. Half naked. “But I need to remember that I’m capable of defending myself. You need to remember that too.” The warmth from her breath made my heart beat harder.
“I’ve never forgotten.” I inhaled the clean scent of her hair and my arms tightened around her, pressed flat to her warm lower back. “I saw what you did to those hunters. That’s why I offered you this job in the first place.”
“Bullshit.” She pulled away to frown up at me, and I felt the sudden distance as if the earth had split between us. “You offered me a job because you didn’t think I’d take it.”
“That’s not—” But I bit off the lie, determined not to insult her with it. “Okay, that’s true, but I meant the offer as a compliment. I wanted you to know that I saw what you were capable of, and that I respect the skill. You’re this fierce little ball of fur and claws, and I pity any idiot who goes up against you.”
Her frown deepened. “That makes me sound about as vicious as a hissing kitten. I’m not a child, Jace. That was the point of keeping the stupid printout.” She knelt to pick it up, and her forehead furrowed when her gaze focused on the image. “Sick bastards…”
“Hey.” I pulled the paper from her grasp. “I’m not going to leave your side until we’ve buried the last of them in at least a dozen shredded pieces.”
“You’re going to stay with me every minute?”
“Every single”—agonizingly platonic—“second.” My tongue suddenly felt thick and clumsy. “I swear I will be with you every second of every day, until everyone in the world who wishes you harm is dead and buried. And I know you’re not a child.” She’d made that very clear. But it didn’t matter, because Abby was Brian’s fiancée, and I could not take another man’s fiancée.
Even if she clearly wanted to be taken.
I had alliances in place, people dependent upon me, and responsibilities to uphold, and just because Abby obviously didn’t understand the consequences of what she was asking for didn’t mean I could ignore them.
“Do you know?” She bit her bottom lip, and I couldn’t have looked away if a tornado had ripped through the cabin at that very moment. “Prove it.”
There she went, playing a woman’s game again, and suddenly, I was certain I was going to lose, even with the wisdom of hindsight on my side. She was an adult, and I was an adult, and she wanted me, and I wanted her, and was there really anything else that mattered?
I was starving for a taste of her, and a starving man can’t think straight. A starving man is a mindless force driven by impulse and need, and at that point, a starving man would have made me look rational and patient.
You won’t be able to take this back, a voice whispered from deep in my mind as I bent toward her. That voice was right. Abby wasn’t a temporary scratch for a casual itch. Alphas and tabbies do not hook up. They get married, and start families, and run territories.
But Abby was already taken. If I touched her again, I’d be crossing a line I’d sworn never to even approach again.
Yet the moment my mouth met hers, all the warnings and consequences faded into blissful silence. There was no longer room in my head for anything but Abby.
EIGHT
Abby
Jace kissed me, and my entire life seemed to grind to a halt, as if the planet had suddenly stopped rotating. His hands grazed my jaw to cup my head, his fingers sliding gently into my hair. Chills followed in the wake of his warm touch.
He tilted my head to one side and his mouth opened against mine. A satisfied sound slid up my throat, and I stood on my toes, wordlessly asking for more. Then brazenly taking it.
My head spun. All of the rules, and warnings, and consequences blew away like dead leaves in the wind, and what remained was fresh, and new, and green. I could breathe without that claustrophobic feeling in my chest—the wedding is coming, you’re all out of time, the wedding is coming—for the first time in years.
I wanted to touch and be touched, and that had never happened with anyone other than Jace. That was a fucking miracle, all on its own, and I jerked back with surprise at the realization.
Jace’s hands stayed at the back of my jaw, his fingers still curled into my hair. “You okay? Is this okay?”
“Yes. Don’t stop.” I turned to kiss his palm. “Please.”
His heartbeat spiked. “You sure?”
“So sure. I just…” I could feel my face flush. “You’re the only person I’ve ever kissed, and...” I shrugged. “I like it.”
His eyes widened. “Brian never…”
“Just on the cheek.”
“That boy is a fool,” Jace growled. Then he bent toward me and tilted my face up, and that was the kiss that changed my life. The kiss that opened my eyes and woke up my body, and showed me exactly what I’d been missing. That kiss was gentle, but it built with steady intensity toward a frantic climax that left me breathless, and astonished, and eager for more.
I’d never felt so desired in my entire life.
I kissed Jace back, taking my cues from him, and a primal sound of satisfaction rumbled from deep in his throat. His hands trailed over my cotton-clad shoulders, then guided my arms around his neck, where my fingers intertwined out of some instinct I hadn’t known I’d possessed. I only knew I didn’t want to let him go.
His tongue greeted mine, teasing lightly, and when I realized I could tease too, he made that sound again. It was more feline than human—a carnal growl of pleasure and fulfillment. He nibbled my lower lip, and I slid my hands into his hair as he kissed a slow, hot trail over my chin toward my neck, waking me up inch by blissful inch.
“Jace,” I whispered when his tongue reached my collarbone, and when he froze, I realized I’d broken whatever spell had possessed him. He took an abrupt step back, and the sudden loss of him shocked me like a bucket of cold water thrown over my head. “What’s wrong?” I asked, and his expression was carefully, horribly blank. “Am I messing this up?”
“You’re doing this exactly right.” His voice was the barely restrained rumble of a man about to lose control, but he didn’t look mad. He looked ravenous.
A tantalizing heat unfurled within me. He was telling the truth; I wasn’t the problem.
Yet there was a problem.
“You’re perfect. But I can’t do this again, Abby.” He turned away from me, and my heart fell into my stomach with an ice-cold plop. “Things are different now.”
Again? Now?
He was talking about Faythe, and that had ended badly for him. “But I’m not…” Faythe. Taken. In love with s
omeone else.
“I can’t put my needs above the needs of the Pride.”
“You need me?” I whispered, stunned.
Jace turned to me again, and his eyes had shifted. The feline pupils were impossibly dilated—a testament to how desperately he was clinging to what little control he had left. “But it doesn’t matter,” he insisted. “I can’t have you.” Yet he reached for me without seeming to realize what his hands were doing. His fevered gaze trailed down from my face, and his pulse raced so fast, I got dizzy from the head rush. “I can’t even…”
He blinked, and I saw his willpower snap like a cord under too much pressure.
Jace took two steps forward, then his arms were around me. I gasped when he lifted me until my bare legs wrapped around his waist, and suddenly we were eye to eye. He kissed me again, and the angle was different.
Better.
Perfect.
I forgot about whatever pointless objection he’d been making. It couldn’t possibly matter, because nothing that felt this good could ever be wrong. I knew what wrong felt like. I’d had nightmares about wrong for years, and there wasn’t a single thing about Jace that didn’t feel exactly right.
His kisses grew deeper, bolder, and every stroke of his tongue made me want more. I slid my fingers into his hair and his hands cradled my thighs, a supportive touch that promised everything I could ever want, yet demanded nothing.
Jace worked his way down my neck, tasting, teasing. Electrifying me in ways and places I’d never even been aware of before. When his tongue flitted into the hollow between my collarbones, I groaned, and Jace tensed against me as if I’d flipped that regret switch again. He set me down, and the floor was a cold shock beneath my feet.
Conflict raged behind his eyes—a storm of rivaling needs. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, but I can’t let this happen.” Every muscle in his body was taut, and I found that intoxicating. Jace gave orders and kicked asses on a daily basis, and the thought that I’d put that tension in him made me feel powerful. Wanted. Needed.
“I have to…” Obligation battled desire in every word he said. In every movement he made. “You need to go home. To your parents.”
“You still want to get rid of me?” The heat that had built up again inside me dissipated in a sudden wash of cold shock.
“I don’t want to. I’m trying to do the right thing.” He swept one hand over his hair, then clutched the doorframe as if the solid reality of it were a lifeline. “If you stay here, we’ll… I’ll…”
“No!” I reached for him, and he backed away, fleeing from my touch, even as his gaze seemed caught on my fingertips. “You said you wouldn’t leave my side!”
“Abby, this is dangerous.” His gaze found mine and I couldn’t have looked away if I’d tried. “I see you, and I want to touch you. I touch you, and I want to taste you, and then….” He shrugged miserably. “Propriety aside, this isn’t fair to Brian, and it damn sure isn’t fair to either of us.”
Oh. Brian.
I held up my left hand with a small smile.
Jace frowned at my bare finger. “Taking off the ring doesn’t make the problem disappear. And the fact that I’m thinking of Brian as a problem should tell you what a dangerous frame of mind I’m in. This will end badly. I’ve been here before, and I can’t do this again.”
I stood on my toes to kiss him, and he groaned and pulled me closer. “I’m not going to marry Brian,” I whispered.
Jace stood up straight. “What?”
“I just told him. Like, fifteen minutes ago.”
He glanced at the open bathroom door, and I realized he’d heard me on the phone but clearly hadn’t caught much of the conversation. “You’re serious?”
“So serious.”
Relief spread across his features, and for a second, he looked so happy that my chest ached. Then some new concern lined his forehead. “Does he know about this?” He ran his hands up my arms, and delicious chills followed his touch.
“He has suspicions, but you’re not the reason I called off the wedding, and that’s exactly what I told him. With or without you, I don’t want to marry Brian.”
“That won’t stop Ed Taylor from blaming me,” Jace said, and though that fact should have made him hate me, he only held me tighter. “My stepfather’s allies have just been waiting for an excuse to take my territory, and if the council thinks I’ve abused my authority to seduce another tabby—someone else’s fiancée this time—”
“Hey.” I put both hands on his face to make him look at me, and the short stubble on his chin was a foreign yet fascinating sensation. “You’re not the reason we broke up, and if I have to shout that from the roof of the lodge, I will. I ended it with Brian because I finally realized that all the time I spend dodging his phone calls and avoiding his touch would make for a really miserable marriage for both of us. So, you’re in the clear.” If anyone was in trouble, it was me. I’d kissed Jace first.
“And for the record...” My face burned with the admission perched on the end of my tongue. “You’re the only person in the world that I’ve wanted to be touched by in five years.” The heat flashing in his eyes gave me enough courage to say the rest of it. “I don’t know what that means beyond the fact that you make me feel beautiful, and powerful, and wanted. But four years spent avoiding the man I was engaged to has taught me that this”—I put one hand on his chest, and his heartbeat spiked beneath my fingers—“doesn’t happen every day. So, if you want to try this in spite of the political complications, I’m in.”
“You’re in?” The upward tilt of his lips said he was teasing me, but his intense gaze said he knew how much of a risk I was taking.
“All in. All of me.”
Jace studied my gaze for a second, and my own heartbeat thundered in my ears. Then he nodded firmly. Decisively. “I’m in too.”
“You are?”
“I am.” He leaned down for another kiss, as if to prove that he meant it, and my head swam. The moment felt surreal. Jace wanted me, and not just as the girl of the week. He wouldn’t risk his alliances and the fate of his Pride over a fling he planned to be over in a few days.
He was serious. He was risking everything for me.
But I was still lying to him.
Guilt swelled inside me and my smile faded. But if I told him what I’d done, he would hate me. I would lose him and everything else I’d ever cared about.
It was far too late to come clean and hope for the best. I had to stick to the plan. I had to keep covering up what couldn’t be fixed, then find a way to explain what couldn’t be ignored.
Finding out that Jace cared about me hadn’t given me more options. It had given me more to lose.
“What’s wrong?” He tilted my chin up and stared down into my eyes.
“Nothing. I’m just... I didn’t mean to make things difficult for you or for Brian.”
“We’ll make it work. How’d he take it?”
“He wasn’t thrilled, but once I pointed out that we were both really just using each other, there wasn’t much left to say.”
Jace’s arms tightened around me. “How were you using each other?”
“Well, it wasn’t intentional, but…” I shrugged. “He wanted to be an Alpha and a father.” Not that I could blame him. Toms had very few opportunities in that regard. “And I wanted a magic ring with the power to keep unwanted suitors at bay.”
His eyes widened. “That’s why you said yes to him?”
I nodded. “I know that makes me sound horrible, but I knew I’d have to get married at some point, and the sooner I said yes to someone, the sooner the others would leave me alone.”
“It was self-defense,” Jace said, and his simple recognition of the position I’d been in eased a fierce tension I hadn’t even realized I was feeling.
“Yeah, I guess it was.” I’d only been able to heal from my abduction on my own timeframe because being engaged officially took me off the market. “And Brian was sweet, and cute, and I
figured—worst-case scenario—I had the next four years to fall in love with him. But that never happened.”
That heat was back in his eyes when he pulled me closer. “In my experience, chemistry is either instant or nonexistent.” He leaned down for another kiss, and I wanted to melt into him. “I’d call this pretty damn instant.”
“You’ve known me all my life,” I pointed out.
Jace rolled his eyes. “When we met, I was a nine-year-old and you were a squalling infant.” He held me at arm’s length and gave me a lingering once-over. “Things have changed.”
“And when, exactly, did you realize that?”
“In October, when I showed up at that cabin to rescue you and you’d already killed all the bad guys. And looked great doing it. I’ve spent the two months since then trying to convince myself that I don’t want you, or that I can’t have you, or that you’re still just a kid. By the way, short skirts and late-night kisses very nearly blew all those arguments out of the water.”
“Very nearly?”
“I was trying to be a responsible Alpha.”
“And now?”
“Now I’m off the clock.” He lifted me again, and that time, my legs encircled him on their own.
“Alphas are never off the clock,” I said as his mouth trailed down my neck, and each breath I took seemed to stoke the flames kindling deep inside me.
That was what had been missing with Brian. That spark. The visceral certainty that nothing in the world was more important than touching and being touched.
“Then I’m on call,” Jace murmured against my skin. “They know how to reach me.” He kicked the bedroom door shut, then kissed me again as he carried me across the room, my legs still wrapped around his waist. In the middle of the floor, he looked up to scan the room, and I realized, at the same time he seemed to, that other than the desk chairs, there was nowhere to sit except for the beds.