“But why did you have to do it?”
“Damn it, Tina! I was filled with rage when I saw how he’d hurt you. And when I found out he was the same man who’d shot Ahmad—I had to do it. The man would have died anyway and without a chance. Besides, I was already told I was to die a slower death, so if the man had won, he would have saved me from that.”
“What do you mean, you were supposed to die? Is that how you were burned—you were to be roasted alive?”
“Yes.”
“But why?”
“As I said last night, Tina, it’s a long story. Could I please have some food first?”
She nodded without saying any more, and left the room. But she didn’t have to leave the tent, for there was a large tray of food awaiting her on the table. That Amine, Christina smiled, she’s always one step ahead of me. Christina brought the food into the bedroom and insisted on feeding Philip herself. She knew it hurt him to move his arms.
She ate also and waited until he was satisfied before saying anything more. There were so many questions to be answered. Why would anybody want to kill Philip? And how could she have forgotten a whole day?
When they were through eating, Christina took the tray out, then came back and hurriedly donned a skirt and blouse. Philip watched her without saying anything. When she finished, she sat down on the bed beside him.
“Are you ready now?” she asked.
Philip told her the whole story. She was angry at first—when she learned that she had been used to bring Philip to his death. But then she felt sorry for Hejaz, who had lived all those years filled with hate. Perhaps it was better that she had been drugged through everything. She couldn’t have borne seeing Philip suffer.
When he told her how he’d escaped, she thanked God that Amair had had the courage to help him. She knew Philip hadn’t mentioned the anguish and pain he must have suffered beneath the burning sun. The only thing was, she couldn’t thank Philip for rescuing her. That would be admitting she’d rather stay with him, because her captors would have sent her back to John. And she just couldn’t tell him she loved him, when he didn’t love her.
Christina looked at Philip with great tenderness. He had suffered so much for coming to rescue her. She saw new hope—maybe he did love her! “Philip, why did you come after me?” she asked.
“You’re mine, Tina. Nobody takes what is mine.”
Christina stiffened. She got off the bed and walked slowly from the room. So that was all she was to him. She was property to be used until he tired of her, but nobody could take her away. She’d been a fool. What had she expected him to say—that he had come after her because he loved her? That he couldn’t bear to lose her?
But then she halted. She had no right to be angry at his answer. She was expecting too much. At least Philip had said she was his, and that was what she wanted to be. She only needed time—time to make him love her, time to give him a child to bind them together.
Christina needed something to do to take her mind off Philip. She went over to the cabinet and took out one of the books he had given her, then she settled down on her temporary bed and began to read.
After a few moments, Rashid walked into the tent. When he saw Christina, his mouth fell open in surprise. Christina was equally surprised, for Rashid didn’t usually just walk into their tent, not after Philip had warned him against it.
“What—what are you doing here?” Rashid asked after an unusually long silence.
“I live here—where else would I be?” she laughed.
“But you were…. How did you get here?”
“What’s the matter with you, Rashid? Has no one told you what happened? I was abducted and Philip was nearly killed by your uncle, but he escaped and brought me back.”
“Is he here?”
“Of course he’s here. You’re acting very oddly, Rashid. Don’t you feel well?”
“Rashid!” Philip called from the bedroom.
“There, you see?” Christina said, for she had a funny feeling that Rashid didn’t believe her. “You had better go in, for he can’t come out.”
“What is the matter with him?”
“He is badly burned, so it’s better for him to stay in bed for a while,” Christina returned.
Rashid hesitated a moment and then walked into the bedroom. Christina followed and sat down on the bed beside Philip.
“Where have you been, Rashid?” Philip asked calmly.
“Why—I have been searching the desert for Christina. I came back the night she was taken, and Syed told me what had happened.”
“And didn’t Christina just tell you what happened?”
“She mentioned my uncle.”
“Tell me something, Rashid. Didn’t you know of the hatred your uncle had for our father?”
“Yes, but my uncle is an old man. I did not think he would try to do something about it,” Rashid answered, a bit nervously.
“When you told Ali Hejaz that our father had died, he then directed his hate to me!”
“I did not know that,” Rashid whispered.
“As a result of your loose tongue, Christina was used to lure me to your uncle’s camp. She was beaten by one of his tribesmen, and your uncle almost succeeded in killing me.” Philip paused and regarded Rashid intently. “In the future, Rashid, I would be grateful if you’d refrain from mentioning my name or anything that concerns me to your uncle—or anyone else, for that matter. If anything should happen again to disrupt my life as a result of you, I won’t take it kindly. Is that clear?”
“Yes,” Rashid answered nervously.
“Then you may go. I need rest.”
Christina watched as Rashid left the room, then she turned to look at Philip. “Don’t you think you were a bit hard on him? It wasn’t really his fault.”
“Must you always defend Rashid? The blame could fall on many—Amair, who set me free, but abducted you in the first place; Amair’s father, who agreed to the abduction; Hejaz, for his hate; and Rashid, for innocently giving out information about me. Let the blame fall where it will as long as nothing like this ever happens again. Will you not agree to that, Tina?”
“Yes,” Christina smiled meekly.
“Good, let’s talk of it no more. Now, would you kindly bring me two full skins of wine? After I fall into a drunken stupor, you can do me the service of removing this damn grease.”
“But you need that to take away the pain.”
“I can think of a few things I need, but this grease isn’t one of them. The pain isn’t as bad as it was, but the grease is driving me mad.”
“Oh, well, I could remove it now if you’d like,” she ventured innocently.
“No! I will take the wine first. The pain has lessened, but it has not disappeared.”
“Yes, master, whatever you say,” she teased, and quickly left the room. Well, at least his disposition is getting better, she thought.
TEN DAYS HAD passed since Philip brought Christina back to camp. Ten days of pain, complaints, and frustration. Ten miserable nights in his lonely bed. The pain was completely gone now, leaving only dark-brown skin that would start to peel in a few days. Hopefully, he would look like his old self soon. And tonight—tonight he would lure Christina back to his bed. Tonight he would have her again after waiting too long.
Philip felt like a child waiting for Christmas Eve. Christmas was actually only a few days away. But he would have his present tonight, and the anticipation was hard to bear. He could have taken Christina this morning, but he wanted it to be just right, so she could have no possible excuses.
Philip had resumed his regular routine today, including taking Christina to bathe. Seeing her in the pool had been an extreme test of his willpower! But now, evening had come.
Christina was curled up on the couch across from Philip. She was sewing a small robe for little Syed and was almost finished, but her mind kept wandering. She wondered what the matter with Philip was. He was well now, but she was still sleeping on the couch.
An unwanted thought kept coming back to her—what if he didn’t want her anymore?
Well, she would soon know one way or the other, for tonight she was determined to sleep in his bed.
“Philip, I’m going to bed,” she said.
She got up from the couch and went into the bedroom as she had done these last ten nights—to take off her clothes and put on one of Philip’s robes to sleep in. But tonight she wasn’t going to wear his robe and she wasn’t going back into the other room.
As Christina removed her blouse and laid it on top of her clothes chest, she felt a draft as the curtains opened. But she didn’t turn around. She started unbraiding her hair. She did it slowly, for her fingers were shaking nervously.
This was the moment she had waited for. She knew Philip was in the room with her, but she didn’t know what he was going to do. He could just get into bed—asking nothing of her—or he could come to her. Oh, God, let him come!
Suddenly Christina felt his presence behind her. She slowly turned to face him, her eyes soft and loving, his filled with intense yearning.
“Christina.”
She came to Philip and put her arms around his neck, pulling his lips down to hers. His arms crushed her against him. As he lowered her onto the bed, she wondered if she would ever be this happy again.
After making love, Christina lay with her head on Philip’s shoulder. With her finger she traced little circles in the curls on his chest. She was assured of one thing now—Philip still wanted her. And as long as he wanted her, he wouldn’t send her away.
She was too elated to sleep, and she found it surprising that she felt no guilt after having given herself so willingly to Philip. But why should she feel guilty about giving herself to him? She loved him, and it was only natural to want to make him happy. She wanted to give herself completely to the one she loved. And it was only an added bonus that when she gave herself to Philip, he in turn gave her the greatest pleasure in the world.
What was marriage, anyway? It was just a signed contract for civilization to see. Well, she wasn’t exactly living in civilization, and it was what she felt that mattered. To hell with the civilized world! It was not here to condemn her, and she didn’t plan on returning to it.
But she must think of John.
“Philip, are you awake?”
“How can I sleep with your fingers teasing me?” he replied jokingly.
Christina sat up in the bed and faced him. “Philip, could I write to my brother to let him know I’m all right?”
“Would that make you happy?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“Then write to him. I will have Saadi deliver your letter, only don’t tell your brother where you are, my sweet. I don’t think I’d care to have the whole British Army charging up this mountain.”
“Oh, Philip, thank you!” she cried and leaned over and kissed him tenderly.
But Philip circled his arms about her and wouldn’t let her go. “If I’d known what results it would produce, I’d have let you write your brother sooner,” he chuckled. He rolled over with Christina in his arms, and all their thoughts disappeared.
The following morning, Christina awoke knowing that something was urgently important. Then she remembered she was going to write to John this morning. Excited, she started to get up. Then she felt Philip’s hand resting lazily between her breasts, and a different excitement consumed her.
Philip still slept, and there was nothing important enough to make her leave his side. Christina wondered fleetingly if she should wake him, but then his eyes opened slowly and he smiled at her.
“I’d have thought that you’d be writing your letter already,” he said sleepily as his hand moved slightly, cupping a soft, rounded breast.
“You were sleeping so peacefully that I didn’t want to disturb you,” she lied. “Are you hungry?”
“Only for you, my sweet.” He smiled and brought his lips down to her other breast, sending fire coursing through her body.
“I wouldn’t want to deny nourishment to a hungry man,” she whispered, and wrapped her arms about him as he mounted her.
Later, Amine called for entrance just as Christina and Philip came out of the bedroom. When she entered with the morning meal and saw the contentment on Christina’s face, she was very happy for her friend.
“It is going to be a nice day, I think,” Amine remarked cheerfully as she set the tray of food down on the table.
“Yes, it’s a beautiful day,” Christina sighed contentedly as she sat down on the couch. She blushed deeply when she saw Philip looking at her quizzically, for she had not been outside the tent yet and would have no idea what kind of day it was. “Ah—how is little Syed?” she blurted out, trying to hide her embarrassment.
“He is fine,” Amine smiled knowingly. “He follows his father everywhere now, and Syed is happy to take him along.”
“I’m glad,” Christina replied, gaining back her composure. “That’s the way it should be. Oh—I’m almost finished with little Syed’s robe. I’ll bring it to you later.”
“You are so kind, Christina.” Amine smiled timidly. She had never before had a friend like Christina, who was so good to her and generous with her time. She loved her dearly and would do anything for her. “I will see you later.”
Philip regarded Christina all through breakfast, making her nervous and embarrassed. When they finished eating, he finally spoke to her.
“I used to write to Paul before I went back to England, so everything that you’ll need to write your letter is in my chest. I’ll go and tell Saadi what he must do, and be back later.”
As soon as Philip left the tent, Christina rushed into the bedroom. She was filled with happiness to be able to let John know that she was all right. She found the box containing writing supplies and went back into the main room. She sat down and after a few minutes started the letter.
To My Beloved Brother,
Forgive me, John, for not writing to you before now, but it didn’t occur to me to do so until just recently. Let me begin by telling you I am perfectly well in both body and spirit, and that I am truly happy.
You probably thought me dead, since three months have passed. I am so sorry if I have caused you anguish, but that is what I wanted you to think. At first I didn’t know what was to become of me, so it was better that you did not know I was alive. But now everything has changed.
Do not think badly of me when I tell you that I am living with a man. I don’t wish to tell you his name, for that doesn’t matter. What does matter is that I love him and I want to stay with him. We are not married, but that doesn’t matter, either. As long as I know that he wants me, I will be happy.
This man that I love is the same man who took me from you, and at first I hated him. But being with him from day to day slowly turned that hate into love. I didn’t even know it had happened until two weeks ago when he was almost lost to me. But since then I have learned that I want to stay with him forever. I don’t know if he loves me or not, but as time passes, I pray that he will.
Perhaps in the future he will marry me, but even if he doesn’t, I will stay with him until he no longer wants me. I would tell you where I am, but he doesn’t wish it. I know in my heart that someday I will see you again, John. Until I do, please don’t worry about me. I am happy here, and I do not want for anything.
John, I pray you, don’t judge me harshly, for I cannot help what I feel in my heart for this man. I would do anything for him. Please understand this and forgive me if I have caused you pain. You know that I wouldn’t do so intentionally. He wanted me, and so he took me. As he says, it is the way of this land, and now I love him and want him more than anything. Understand this for my sake.
I love you,
Crissy
Christina leaned back and sealed the letter. She was satisfied with what she had written, but she couldn’t let Philip see the letter. She started to leave the tent to find Saadi, when Philip came in.
“If you’re finished
with your letter, my sweet, I’ll give it to Saadi. He’s waiting outside.”
“No,” she said a bit too quickly. “I’ll give it to him.”
Philip looked at her critically. “You haven’t told your brother where you are, have you?”
“Philip, you asked me not to, so I didn’t. I give you my word. If you will not trust me now, then you never will.”
“All right. You may give the letter to Saadi,” he said, and opened the entrance cover for her.
Saadi was waiting on his horse. Christina handed him the letter and whispered, “Go with God.”
He smiled down at her sheepishly, his eyes filled with admiration, then he kneed his horse and started down the hill. Christina stood and watched him until he was out of sight. Then she turned to Philip, who was standing beside her, and placed her hand nervously on his arm.
“Thank you again, Philip. I feel much better now that John will know I’m all right.”
“Doesn’t that warrant another kiss, my sweet?”
“Indeed it does,” she returned. And she put her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her lips.
CHRISTINA WAS CURLED up on the couch absentmindedly staring at the chipped glass cup in her hands that contained her morning tea. She was trying desperately to remember what Philip had told her this morning before he left. It had been so early, and she had been so tired from the night before, that she hadn’t come fully awake to listen to him.
He had said something about going to sign a treaty with Sheik Yamaid Alhabbal to ensure that the two tribes would not conflict over the water they shared. He would be making arrangements for a meeting of the tribes to celebrate their renewed friendship. He would be gone for the entire day and possibly the night as well.
It all seemed so vague that Christina wondered if she could possibly have dreamed the whole thing. But if it had been a dream, where was Philip? He had not been in bed when she finally awoke. And Amine told her later that she had seen him talking to Rashid very early by the corral and that Philip had then ridden out of camp.
Suddenly Christina felt very lonely. Philip had never been away from her for a whole day before, except that time when she was stolen from him. It was still early morning, and she missed him already. What the devil was she going to do with herself today?