I was passing a playground and I looked over and saw this little girl on the swings. Her back was to me, but she had long blond hair and she was wearing a red shirt and a red hairband. I kept watching her and all of a sudden it was like time moved backward and I heard Allison’s voice say: “Push me higher, Beth! Higher!”
And I heard myself say, “I’m tired of pushing you. Learn how to pump your legs, Allison. I can’t push you forever.”
And I kept thinking Allison! Allison! And all of a sudden I yelled, “Allison!”
The girl on the swing stopped and turned. She looked right at me. Then she jumped off the swing and ran away. I don’t blame her. She probably thought I was crazy. Maybe I am.
Sometimes I think I see Allison or Doug in a crowd at the mall. But, of course, I don’t. It’s not real. It’s never real.
Published by
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a division of Random House, Inc.
New York
Text copyright © 1999 by Lurlene McDaniel
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eISBN: 978-0-307-43389-3
RL: 5.2, ages 12 and up
v3.1
To my beloved father,
James G. Gallagher
(1910–1998)
“Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed—in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet.… Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?”
I CORINTHIANS 15: 51–55
(NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION)
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Epigraph
Summer
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Winter
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Spring
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
SUMMER
1
“You know the worst thing about my family?” Beth Haxton didn’t wait for an answer from her friend and next-door neighbor, Teddy Carpenter. “They’re always in my face. I never have any privacy at home.” She released the basketball and watched it sail through the rusty rim anchored to the side of Teddy’s garage.
Saturday-morning sunshine warmed her back, and from down the street came the sound of a neighbor’s lawn mower. Teddy’s radio, tuned to a rock station, sat on the stone ledge that ran the length of the driveway. Beth’s family had lived next door to Teddy’s for years on Signal Mountain, overlooking Chattanooga, Tennessee. Their families were tight with each other, their mothers great friends. Beth and Teddy had played together, gone to school together, practically grown up together.
Teddy scooped up the ball and took aim. “Why do you need privacy?”
“You’re asking me? Don’t you remember all the times you used to complain about your brother?”
“Sure, he was a pain when he lived here, but I sort of miss him now that he’s not around.” Teddy flashed her a grin. “Plus there’s no one to blame my messes on. Mom automatically knows it’s me.”
Teddy’s older brother, David, had gone off to college in September, leaving Teddy alone with his parents. Now that it was June, David would be coming home for the summer, which meant that Teddy would get a dose of reality very soon. Then maybe he’d be more sympathetic, Beth told herself. She said, “I hate sharing the bathroom with Doug and Allison. She uses my shampoo and other hair stuff without ever asking. And as for Doug”—she rolled her eyes—“well, seven is a creepy age, let me tell you. He collects bugs and stores them in bottles on the windowsill.”
Teddy shot the ball, and it swished through the hoop. “Nothing wrong with keeping bugs. We used to catch a few ourselves.”
“Fireflies,” Beth said. “And we always let them go.”
Teddy dribbled toward the basket, jumped, and dunked it through the hoop effortlessly. “Two points for me!”
“No fair! You’re taller.”
“Too bad, shrimp.” He patted the top of her head.
Beth made a face at him, snatched the ball, and took a run at the basket. They were both fourteen, but Teddy had suddenly shot up, and he towered over Beth. It irked her because until his growth spurt, she’d always had the edge when they shot baskets.
Teddy asked, “What do you hear from Marcie?”
It was no secret that Teddy had a thing for Beth’s best friend. “She’s coming over this afternoon.” Beth slid him a glance in time to watch his Adam’s apple wiggle as he swallowed. “I may bring her over to shoot some baskets. If you’re nice to me, that is.”
“Aren’t I always nice to you?”
“It depends on how bad you want to see my friends.” She watched his face color. It wasn’t nice to tease him, but it was fun. “Oh, stop looking hyper. I’ll bring her over.”
“Do what you want. I may not even be home.”
“Sure,” Beth said. “Just like Allison won’t be using my stuff anymore.”
Teddy dribbled, made a run around Beth, and shot from outside. The ball swished through the hoop. “Do like I did when your family gets on your nerves. Pretend you’re an orphan and come out here and shoot baskets. That’s how I handled it when I felt picked on.” Breathing hard, he stood in front of her and looked down. “How do you think I got so good at this game?”
“And so humble,” she fired back.
Teddy laughed. “Want to go again?”
The honk of a horn interrupted them, and Beth turned to see the Haxtons’ van pulling into the driveway. “Rain check,” she said. “Allison and Dad are home from soccer practice. Got to run.”
“I got two goals in the scrimmage,” eleven-year-old Allison told Beth as she climbed out of the van. Her hair was sweaty, and dirt streaked her cheek. She kicked her soccer ball up onto the porch.
“Well, rah, rah,” Beth said without enthusiasm.
“You coming to my game next Saturday?”
“We all are,” their father interjected. “We like watching you play.”
Beth knew it would be useless to argue. Hers was a family that did everything together—Allison’s soccer games, Doug’s T-ball games, her own middle-school track events. “Support,” Paul Haxton, her father, called it. Boring, Beth usually thought. The only time it was fun for her was whenever Marcie came to the fields with her family and they flirted with the older guys.
“Wash up,” Carol Haxton said as Beth and Allison trekked into the kitchen. “And Allie, take off your cleats. You’re making dents in the floor.”
“Oops, sorry.”
Beth sighed dramatically. Their mother had to tell Allison the same thing after every soccer e
vent. You’d think the girl could remember it by now.
Doug bounded into the kitchen. “I’m hungry.”
“Lunch is almost ready.”
He headed for the pantry.
“No snacking,” their mother called over her shoulder.
“Aw, Mom, I’m starving.”
“Why don’t you eat some of those bugs you’ve been saving?” Beth suggested.
Doug stuck out his tongue at her.
“Mom, Doug’s acting jerky,” Allison said in a singsong voice.
“All of you stop it,” Carol Haxton said sharply. “Honestly, can’t you get along for a day? Having the three of you in the room together is like having a pack of dogs fighting over a food dish.”
Doug scooted out the door. Allison plopped her cleats into the mudroom. “I’m taking a shower.”
“Stay out of my shampoo,” Beth warned. She turned to their mother. “She uses it all the time, Mom. Why can’t she buy her own?”
“Sharing with her occasionally won’t ruin your life, you know.”
“Sharing? She almost sucks every bottle dry!”
Her mother set a salad bowl on the table. “I’ll speak to her. Set the table, please.”
“It’s Allison’s turn.”
“Didn’t she just go up to shower?”
“She owes me a turn,” Beth grumbled.
“I talked to your aunt Camille this morning.”
“How’s she doing?” Camille was Beth’s mother’s sister, and she lived in Tampa, Florida, with her husband and her daughter, Terri. Beth’s mother was close to her younger sister, and hardly a week went by when the two of them didn’t phone one another.
“She’s fine. Busy as ever running Terri places. Did you know that your cousin won an essay contest at her school and is headed to Tallahassee to read it in front of the governor at a special luncheon?”
Beth mumbled an appropriate response.
“Actually, Camille and I were discussing an idea, and I’d like to get your thoughts on it.”
Beth froze. When her mother used that tone of voice, she expected trouble. “Like what?”
“We talked about the possibility of Terri’s coming for a nice long visit this summer. She can stay in your room and sleep on the cot. You can do things with her and all your friends—I think the two of you would have a great time together. Tell me, what do you think?”
2
“What did you tell her?” Marcie sat cross-legged on Beth’s bed, eyes wide with curiosity. And sympathy.
“I asked if we could talk about it some other time.” Beth flopped backward on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. “Geez—can you imagine being stuck with Terri half the summer? It would be a nightmare!”
“Maybe she’s changed.” Terri’s family had come to Beth’s over the Christmas holidays when both of them had been twelve. But Terri had acted totally snotty toward Beth’s friends, so no one had liked her.
“I doubt it. She’s so spoiled rotten that nobody likes being around her. She doesn’t have any friends in Tampa.” Beth’s family had visited with her aunt’s this past Christmas, and as far as her hanging out with her cousin was concerned, it had been a disaster. “I’m telling you, Marcie, Allison acts more mature than Terri. Terri threw a tantrum at the mall because her mother wouldn’t let her buy this way expensive sweater. I was totally embarrassed.”
“Didn’t her mother do anything?”
“Tried to reason with her. Kept saying, ‘But, Terri, honey, you got three new sweaters at Christmas. You don’t need another.’ ” Beth sat up. “Terri whined and carried on until her mother caved.”
Marcie shook her head. “My mom would have grounded me for a week if I acted that way in public.”
“Mine too. Even Doug knows how to behave in the mall.”
“But now you’re going to be stuck with her.”
“It sure looks like it.” Beth sighed. “I like Aunt Camille and Uncle Jack, but Terri is something else.”
“Maybe she’s so spoiled because she doesn’t have any brothers or sisters. If you don’t ever have to share, then you don’t learn the concept.”
“What am I going to do? Mom and Aunt Camille are sisters and best friends. They even had a double wedding!”
“That’s sort of romantic sounding. We aren’t sisters, but we could do that too.”
“Mom will probably insist I wait until Terri gets married first,” Beth said glumly. “As if any guy’s ever going to ask her.”
Beth had heard the story a hundred times about how her mother and Camille had been pregnant together while their husbands were in the army. Of how she’d been born and then “just three weeks later” Terri had been born. “Camille had a beautiful little girl because I had a beautiful little girl,” Beth’s mother always joked.
Beth had heard how she and Terri had shared a crib, had been pushed in identical strollers, and had taken baths together every night until they both turned two and the army tour of duty ended. Then Terri’s dad landed a job in Tampa, and Beth’s father got a job in Chattanooga. Every Christmas, one family or the other made the ten-hour drive to visit. But now her mother wanted Terri to spend almost a month with them. How was she going to survive?
The sound of a lawn mower starting up made Beth scoot off the bed and go to her window. She looked down to see Teddy pushing a mower. “Come here, Marcie,” Beth said, raising her window.
Together they leaned out and watched Teddy follow the mower across the slope of his backyard. He wore denim shorts, no shirt, and a baseball cap. “Should I whistle?” Marcie asked.
“He’s showing off his bod just for you. Are you impressed?” Beth elbowed her friend.
“Not much of a bod. Unless you like scarecrows.”
The two girls began to giggle, then were convulsed with laughter. Beth couldn’t help thinking that if her cousin had been as much fun to be with as Marcie, having her visit wouldn’t have been a problem. But she wasn’t. No, indeed, she wasn’t.
“Have you given any thought to what I asked you about Terri’s visiting?”
Beth and her mother were at the grocery store, in the produce aisle, when her mother asked the question Beth had been dreading.
“You know, Mom, Terri and I don’t have a lot in common.”
“I realize that the two of you aren’t close like Camille and I are, but you’re the closest thing to a sister Terri will ever have, you know.”
Beth had heard many times that Camille and Jack had been unable to have another baby. “Terri should have a friend in Tampa to be her almost-sister. Like Marcie is to me.”
“But you and Terri are blood relatives. That should count for something. And you know what they say,” her mom added with a teasing smile. “ ‘You can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your relatives.’ ”
“That’s what you always say about me and Allison.” Beth pursed her lips. How could she make her mother understand that she and Terri had nothing in common beyond their bloodlines?
“Listen, honey.” Her mother put a hand on Beth’s shoulder. “I’m not going to force you to spend a few weeks with Terri this summer. But I’d really appreciate it if you did let her come. I think Jack and Camille need some alone time.”
Who wouldn’t? Beth thought. Having Terri around constantly would make anybody crazy. “Oh, all right,” she told her mother grudgingly. “Invite her.”
Her mother squeezed her shoulder. “Thank you, Beth. I appreciate your doing this. I’ll call Camille and tell her, but it would be really nice if you’d write Terri a note and invite her. It would make her feel that this was less of a put-up job, if you know what I mean.”
Beth nodded. “When should I invite her?”
“How about mid-July through the first week in August? That way you’ll still have plenty of time before school starts again. Will Marcie be around?”
“She’s going off on vacation the whole month of July,” Beth said with dismay. Which meant she would have to entertain Terri on
her own.
“You know your dad and I’ll plan some activities. How about a day up at Fall Creek Falls?”
“How about Dollywood?” Beth’s family hadn’t been to that theme park in ages.
“A good possibility.”
“And Six Flags in Atlanta?”
“Don’t get greedy,” her mother said with a laugh.
Beth shrugged. “It was worth a try.”
Her mother forged ahead with the shopping cart. Beth felt mollified. If she had to have her cousin hanging around for part of her summer, then at least she’d keep Terri busy. Alone time had to be avoided. That way they wouldn’t be able to get on one another’s nerves. The things I don’t do for family, Beth told herself, and trotted off to join her mother in the cereal aisle.
When David got home from college, the Carpenters invited Beth and her family over for a barbecue. David brought along a pretty blond girlfriend named Shelby from Atlanta, and on the evening of the cookout, they sat in a backyard swing, holding hands and talking in low whispers.
“What’s it like having your brother home again?” Beth asked Teddy.
“You mean King David?” Teddy looked disgusted. “He hardly has time for me. We used to shoot baskets together, but now there’s Shelby. I guess that’s the problem with being the youngest—everyone forgets about you when the oldest comes home. You’re lucky, Beth.”
“How so?”
“You’ll get to leave the others behind because you’ll get to move out first.”
“How lucky can I be if I have to have Terri stay with me for three weeks?”
“I’ll hang with you.”
“That would be good.” The wind had picked up, and dark clouds had gathered above the trees.
“Your father’s company still having the picnic on the fourth?” Teddy asked.
“Just like every year. Want to come?”
“My dad’s taking me and some of the guys from the basketball team down to Six Flags for the weekend.”
“Sounds like fun.” Beth felt a twinge of envy. With Marcie gone and Teddy away, she’d be bored stiff at her father’s company’s annual picnic. So far her summer wasn’t shaping up to be a winner. She actually found herself wishing for school to start.