She curled her hands into tight fists in her lap, stared at them. “After a while, the muscles in your hands begin to cramp, until it’s nothing but the cramp keeping you from dropping things. And then somebody comes along to help lift the burden, except your hands have been cramped so damned long around that rope, you can’t actually let go and it hurts as much to release as to hang on. And on top of that…you don’t trust that whoever this person is will really hold up their end—because nobody else has and why would they? It’s not their job. What if they drop it? And worse, what if you let go and then you can’t pick it up again?”
Riley raised her gaze to Liam’s, searching for understanding. “That’s what this is like for me. Holding the line, holding that load, keeping things together and trying not to drown—that’s been my life for as long as I can remember. And I hate it as much as I’m proud that I’ve managed it. I resent the hell out of the fact that I had to do it, but I don’t know how to stop, either. Because, for me, letting go, letting you or anyone else take some of that off me, is admitting I can’t do it all. And that makes me weak.”
“There’s nothing weak about you.”
“No, you never thought so. I couldn’t ever understand that.”
He knelt in front of her, taking her fists in his big, strong hands. “I’ve always seen your strength. That quiet endurance is something I recognize and respect the hell out of.” With unhurried motions, he uncurled her clamped fingers, stroking the tension out before pressing a kiss to each palm. “But you aren’t alone anymore, and you don’t have to hold that line by yourself. I won’t let you drop it. And I won’t let you drown.”
God, what did she do to deserve this man?
“I know. Deep down, I really do know that. I don’t know how long it will take me to be easy with that.” She took a breath, took the leap. “The fact is, loving you is the easy part. I’ve been in love with you most of my life. But I need you, and I don’t know how to deal with that. I’ve never known how to deal with that.”
Liam circled his thumbs on her palms. “Needing somebody isn’t something you’re supposed to have to deal with.” He gave a half laugh. “It’s not like having a root canal. Especially when the one you need needs you back.”
He needed her? The idea of that was as ludicrous as it was appealing.
“I have a hard time imagining the big badass Marine needing anyone.”
“Clearly we need to work on your imagination. I’m in love with you, Riley. Down-to-the-bone crazy about you. Maybe not for as long as you, but I’m there. We’ve got time to figure out the rest. I’d just ask one thing of you.”
Riley swallowed against the burn in her throat. “What’s that?”
“Don’t shut me out. I want to be there for you. All the way, not just in whatever areas you feel comfortable.”
“You’re the only one who’s ever gotten this far. I can’t promise I won’t fight about it. But swear I’ll work on it.”
“That’s good enough for now.”
Chapter 18
At the sound of the shot, Liam rocketed awake, the Ruger in his hand before his eyes had even fully opened. But no one stood in his room. Beside him, Riley still slept, whole and unharmed, other than the bruise that shadowed her cheek in the pale dawn light.
Shouldn’t have watched the surveillance video.
The only reason Judd had showed him at all was because Riley had kicked ass. But Liam’s brain had spent the night playing the footage on repeat, with every possible way the situation could’ve gone wrong. Easing back, he replaced the pistol on the nightstand and scrubbed a hand over his face, as if that would erase the images still bright in his mind.
Thunder rolled, no doubt the sound that woke him. Rain began to ping against the window and lash against the roof in gusts. He loved a good thunderstorm. He wished it were a normal day after a normal night, when he could sweet talk Riley into playing hooky and staying in bed, cocooned from the world.
But it wasn’t a normal day, and it sure as hell hadn’t been a normal night.
A full twenty-one hours had passed before they’d released her to come home. Despite the fact that the pharmacy was closed, pretty much all of Wishful had come by—a combination of concerned customers and general Lookie Lous, not to mention all the friends and family. Sharilyn had been near hysterical. Molly had intercepted her, calling Matthew McSweeney to take her home, once she’d been assured Riley was okay. Mitch and Reuben had helped maintain the perimeter, and Autumn had made sure they’d been fed. Wynne was stuck in New Orleans for work, but she’d called almost once an hour to check in. Everybody had been waiting for Riley to drop.
But she’d held up through all the questioning, the waiting, the inventory. As soon as the police were through, Liam had brought her to his mother’s house, wanting them both under one roof so he could keep an eye on them until the second thief was caught. Molly had given Riley something to help her sleep. She’d been so exhausted, she’d already been out by the time Liam got her upstairs and tucked into his bed.
With the gray from the rain, it was later than he’d realized. Careful not to disturb her, he pressed a kiss to Riley’s brow and slipped from bed. She needed the sleep. He’d just go down, start coffee, text Judd to see if there was an update.
As soon as he hit the hall, he realized someone had already started coffee. The rich scent of French roast perfumed the air and drew him to the kitchen.
Molly looked up from where she whipped something at the counter. “How is she?”
He thought of Riley falling apart in the shower. A purge long overdue. “Still tender yet. The robbery was pretty much the icing on the shit cake she’s been eating all summer.”
His mom gave him a long look. “How are you?”
Liam considered playing it off and opted for the truth instead. “I’d rather go up against insurgents again than face another phone call like that.”
She rubbed a hand down his arm. “There’s not much harder on a man of action than not getting the chance to act.”
“It was all over by the time I got there, and I couldn’t do a goddamned thing.”
“You did plenty. You taught her how to handle herself. The situation might’ve been a helluva lot worse than some stolen inventory if you hadn’t.”
“You’re up next.” He poured himself coffee. “And neither one of you is to be up there alone again. Ever.” He’d have a hard enough time letting them go anywhere alone for a while. “I want to do a full evaluation of the security system. When will we be allowed back in to work on the place?”
“Not sure yet.” She poured batter over thick sliced sourdough bread. “The Bureau of Narcotics is done with us for now. Riley and I got through the full inventory of controlled substances before we left. Hopefully, we’ll be back in later today or tomorrow.”
“I’ll get on the phone later and start rounding up additional crew as soon as we know. This whole mess is throwing the renovation schedule off, and Riley needs things to get back to normal as soon as possible.”
“Issuing orders already, Boy Scout?” Riley’s voice was rough with sleep. She shuffled into the kitchen, eyes at half mast, one of his button-down shirts hanging almost to her knees, a pair of his sweatpants puddling around her feet.
“Hey. What are you doing up already?”
“What? Thirteen hours isn’t enough sleep?” Yawning, she crossed to him, sliding an arm around his waist and reaching up to cup his face. “You had a nightmare.”
All freaking night. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“You didn’t. I’d been working on convincing myself to move for about an hour, but I kept losing the battle. Ambien is a great will-sucker. You’d already gotten up by the time I got my eyes to open. I wanted to check on you.”
After everything she’d been through, she was checking on him? Who was caretaking who here? “That’s my line. I’m fine.”
“Fine is sleeping with a pistol under your pillow?”
No reason
to mention the rest of the arsenal under the bed. “Until the one who escaped is caught, yes.”
“It wasn’t personal, Liam. He wasn’t after me.”
His eyes tracked over to the bruise on her cheek and he had to fight back the impotent rage that he hadn’t been there to stop it. “He hurt you.”
Her eyes narrowed. “And I gave as good as I got, exactly like you taught me.”
“Sorry. It’s going to take me a year or ten to forget the sight of a gun pressed your head.”
“You’re not going to let me out of your sight without an armed escort, are you?”
“Not for a while, no.” Liam waited for her to argue.
Instead, she heaved a sigh, brushed her lips over his. “Judd should never have showed you that surveillance footage.”
The doorbell rang.
“I’ll get it.” Molly was out of the kitchen in a flash.
“You know,” Riley walked her fingers down the center of his chest, “if you’re going to be on guard duty anyway, can you do it your dress blues? Maybe pull an Officer and a Gentleman and whisk me off to somewhere tropical, where they serve drinks with little paper umbrellas and have people standing by to fan us with giant palm fronds? Because that would really work for me.”
Liam arched a brow and tried to keep his twitching lips serious. “You’ve given this some thought.”
“When you don’t have time to actually take a vacation, you spend a lot of time dreaming about them. Plus, the last time I saw you in your dress blues was when I was still trying to be mad at you, so I didn’t properly appreciate the view. And it’s a really excellent view.”
“Maybe if you’re a really good girl—”
“Even if she’s not, I think she’s demonstrated she could kick your ass, so I’d do whatever she wants.”
Liam shot Judd a Look. “Don’t encourage her.”
“Too soon,” Judd decided.
Never would be too soon to joke about that.
“Can I get you a cup of coffee?” Molly lifted the half-full pot.
“Don’t mind if I do.” He hitched himself up on one of the barstools. “I just came by to give y’all the update. Most importantly, we found the son of a bitch.”
Liam felt the tension drain from his shoulders. “Where?”
“Got picked up at the hospital in Lawley. He’d been admitted for a heart attack, just like Riley said. Thanks, Molly.” He took the coffee, blew on it. “Also, the assailant who was shot made it out of surgery. He’s gonna be fine thanks to Riley’s quick action.”
To keep his hands busy, Liam poured coffee for Riley, began to doctor it. “He better be thanking God she’s got a humanitarian streak.”
“I wasn’t going to let him die. He didn’t want to involve me from the get-go and kept insisting that they not hurt me.”
“If that really mattered to him, he would’ve intervened to stop the robbery from going down as soon as they realized you were there.”
“He wasn’t the one with the gun and was clearly not the brains of the operation. Thanks, Boy Scout.” Riley sipped at the coffee, made a low hum of appreciation.
“That might mitigate his sentence some, but it’ll be up to the judge. Both are going to make full recoveries in time for prosecution.”
“What about the drugs?” Molly asked.
“Shooter stashed them before he went to the hospital. There’s a team of deputies searching now, but it shouldn’t take long to unearth them.”
“Good. That’s good.” Liam rubbed the back of his neck. “Does that mean y’all are done with the pharmacy?”
“We are. Gotta check with the Bureau of Narcotics, but I don’t expect they’ll be far behind. I’ll confirm and let you know. Thanks for the coffee.”
“I’m about to make French toast. You’re welcome to join.”
Judd rinsed his mug out and set it in the sink. “Thanks, but I’m about to head home and crash. I’m officially off-shift and I have a date with my pillow for at least the next eight straight.”
“Thanks for coming by to give us the update, man.” Liam bumped fists with Judd, then pulled him in for a thumping hug.
He shot Liam a knowing look. “Figured you’d rest easier knowing the threat is contained.”
“He will.” Riley gave her own hug. “So will I. Thanks, Judd.”
After he’d left, Molly cranked up the heat under the griddle. “Well, I’d say this is excellent news. Things are moving apace. And crime scene or not, we’ve got the controlled substances inventory, and we can go ahead and get in touch with the insurance company, get the ball rolling there.”
Riley froze with the mug halfway to her lips, all the blood draining out of her cheeks.
Liam automatically braced a hand at her back, ready to catch her. “What’s wrong?”
“I forgot,” she whispered. “How the hell did I forget?”
He eased the coffee out of her hands and set it on the counter, turning her to face him. “Forget what?”
“The insurance.” She pressed her face into his throat and whimpered.
A flood, a theft, and a near hostage situation, and it was the insurance that was sending her over the edge? Liam stroked her back and met his mother’s baffled gaze over the counter.
“I know it’s a pain in the ass after the flood already, but it will be fine,” Molly said.
“No, it won’t.” Liam felt Riley brace herself, and when she lifted her head, tears glimmered. “There is no insurance.”
~*~
The admission was like lancing an infection. A quick, sharp pain, and then the words spilled out in a flood, with barely a pause for breath. “I screwed up and missed the renewal payment, and it’s lapsed. I found the bill right before the robbery. I guess it got lost in all the shuffle and chaos from the flood and my mom coming back and...I know it’s no excuse. It’s a titanic screw up, especially when people are depending on me for their livelihood. Jessie and Ruby have been all worried since Walgreens opened, and I’ve been telling them everything will be fine, but it’s not fine. I barely made payroll last month. And I kept thinking things would turn around, that I’d find a way to fix it, but it just got worse and worse, and then the flood, and then I couldn’t tell you because you trusted me not to run the business you spent over thirty years building into the ground, and now I’ve destroyed everything.” Riley sucked in a shuddering breath, and felt the hot burn of tears spilling over. “I’m so sorry, Molly.”
On the opposite side of the counter, Molly looked heart-broken and horrified. And it felt every bit as horrible as Riley had known it would to have let her down.
“That’s why you went for the gun. Because you were trying to keep them from getting away with the stock.”
Shoulders hunched, Riley nodded once before dropping her eyes.
“Are you fucking kidding me? You risked your life because of some damned insurance?”
Riley’s head snapped up and she glared at Liam. “I risked my life to save my business. That was thirty or forty grand they walked out with—and whether the police find it or not, it’s evidence. I can’t recover from that with all the other debt I took on trying to stay afloat, so yes, goddamn it, I took a risk.”
“A risk that could’ve gotten you killed!” Breathing hard, he made a visible effort to reel himself in. In softer tones, he said, “Do you have any idea what that would do to me?”
“Yes. Yes, I know exactly, because I felt the weight of that possibility every single day you were deployed. And I spent twelve years being furious that you put yourself in harm’s way. So if you need to be mad about this, be mad. I absolutely understand that. But maybe you could save it for later, when my professional life isn’t falling apart, because I’m pretty much at my limit.”
Liam let out a long, slow exhale. “Sorry. Not dealing too well. My issue. I shouldn’t be taking it out on you.”
When he reached for her, Riley didn’t hesitate. She snuggled into him. “I’ll train harder if it’ll make yo
u feel better.”
“We’ll talk about that later.” He brushed the hair back from her face, used his thumbs to wipe away the tears. “Other problems to fix right now. I made you a promise the other night, and I intend to keep it. How bad is it?”
“Not sure it could be much worse. Strangely, it’s not even the money I’m most upset about.” She turned her head to look at Molly. “It’s that I disappointed you.”
“Okay just…wait a minute.” Molly took a few deep breaths before coming around the counter and taking Riley by the shoulders. “Honey, you haven’t disappointed me. And you haven’t screwed anything up. I took care of the insurance bill weeks ago.”
Riley blinked. “You—what?”
“You had a lot on your plate with the flood, and Liam was doing his level best to distract you, which I fully supported, so when I found the bill, I went ahead and paid it. I couldn’t find the line of credit info, so I just paid it out of pocket. Business as usual. I didn’t see any reason to bother you with it. But God, I wish I had.”
“There are no lines of credit,” Riley murmured. Her heart thrummed a desperate tattoo against her breast. “The policy hasn’t lapsed?”
“No, it hasn’t. What do you mean there are no lines of credit?”
“I’m not ruined.” Riley’s knees went to Jello, and she had to grab hold of the barstool. “Oh, thank God. Thank you.” She launched herself at Molly, wrapping her in a tight hug. “Thank you, thank you.”
“I’m just glad you’re okay.” Molly framed her face with both hands. “I’d never forgive myself if something had happened to you. What do you mean there are no lines of credit, honey?”
Riley scrubbed the tears from her cheeks.
“I don’t use them. After all the debt I clawed my way out of with my mom, I don’t use it unless I absolutely have to. So I never opened any for the business.”
Molly stared at her. “You’ve been running the pharmacy for over a year without a revolving line of credit? And actually keeping it in the black?”