I leaned back on the sand and closed my eyes. I could almost feel her warmth in my arms as we danced.
“YOU REALLY DO look beautiful tonight, Libby,” I said as I held her closer to me.
Smiling, she looked up into my eyes. “Thank you.” My hand was against her cool skin as I slowly moved it up and down her bare back. I wanted more than anything to press my lips against her sweat-shined skin. I could almost taste her on my lips.
The song we danced to ended and another one began. When it started playing, I had a hard time catching my breath. Cascada’s “What Hurts The Most” was playing as Libby and I stared at each other as I held her in my arms. When the beat increased, we just stood there. Lost in each other’s eyes. I wanted so desperately to tell her how much I loved her. How much I wanted her.
Libby’s eyes began to fill with tears as she began to turn away from me. I grabbed her arm and stopped her.
“Libby …” I whispered as I removed my grip from her arm. I didn’t want to tell her how I felt in a damn nightclub. She turned and walked off as I stood in the middle of the dance floor.
Closing my eyes I sucked in a breath and blew it out. I’m always fucking hurting her. Always.
I WASN’T SURE how long I lay on the beach thinking, but I made up my mind on what I had to do. This whole time I had been pushing Libby away for fear of hurting her. What I needed to realize was that by not being honest with my own feelings—and fears, I was hurting her even more. Sitting up, I sucked in a breath of the salt air.
Standing, I wiped off the sand from my shorts and headed back to the house. Standing at the bottom of the stairs, my heart pounded as I lifted my leg and headed up the stairs. Each step felt like my legs grew heavier and heavier. The idea of totally opening up and telling Libby everything, only to have her walk away, scared the hell out of me.
Pushing my hand through my hair, I walked up to the bedroom where Libby was staying. I leaned in closer and heard her and Grace giggling. I raised the left corner of my mouth and smiled. Two of the most important women in my life sat on the other side of that door. Lifting my hand, I was about to knock when I heard Libby.
“If he loved me, he wouldn’t be doing this to me, Grace. My heart can’t take anymore.”
The air immediately left my lungs as I heard the hurt in Libby’s voice. Closing my eyes, I dropped my hands to my sides. By telling Libby the truth, I would be hurting her again and that was the last thing I wanted to do. My father’s words flooded my mind. I had two choices and I knew which choice I was going to make. I turned and made my way back down the stairs. It felt like it took me forever to get to the pool house. I walked in and shut the door behind me.
I STOOD OUTSIDE the door to the pool house and listened closely. Taylor had come into our room and said Luke had been standing outside the door and was about to knock when he turned and headed back downstairs.
I wanted desperately to know what he wanted. He might have just wanted to talk to Grace. I placed my hand on the door and whispered, “Luke?”
Closing my eyes, I waited for his response.
Nothing. I reached down and opened the door slowly. The light from the moon lit up the room. I let out a gasp when I saw him sleeping. Making my way over to the side of the bed, I gazed down upon him. Smiling, I placed my fingertips to my lips. I wanted to feel his lips on mine more than anything. I took a few steps back and sat down in the chair and watched him sleep.
Maybe Luke couldn’t move on from me sleeping with Zach? Was that the reason he was holding back? A tear slowly made its way down my cheek. I reached up and wiped it away. Would he ever be able to tell me how he felt about me? Or was there too much between us now?
Closing my eyes I slowly stood. I looked at Luke again before turning and heading back into the house. Quietly shutting the door, I walked to my bed. My phone had been charging on the side table. Picking it up I found Zach’s name displayed on my screen.
Zach: I’ve missed you Libby. Please call me.
I inhaled a shaky breath. I’d given Luke so many opportunities to tell me how he felt about me. I wasn’t sure what to do anymore.
Me: Can I call you tomorrow?
Zach: I have a family function with my father but I’ll text you when I can talk.
Me: Okay.
Zach: Night, Libby. I miss you.
I closed my text messages and sighed. Dropping back onto the bed, I thought about Zach. Did I do the right thing by responding to him? Did I even miss Zach or was he a means to try and forget Luke?
I pulled the covers back and crawled under them.
Tomorrow. I’ll decide what to do tomorrow.
THE DAY WAS spent just hanging around the house. Grace and I went for a run on the beach early this morning. If only I could keep running until I knew what to do.
I sat at the kitchen table and listened to Maegan, Taylor, and Lauren all talk about plans for next school year. I glanced up when I heard Colt’s voice moving closer.
“I’m telling you, the system I designed will track all the vaccinations and send you monthly reminders. I just need to convince Scott to get on board with it.”
Lauren sat up, her interest obviously piqued. “What about my dad?”
Colt had a bottle of water pressed against his lips. He slowly dropped it to his side. I guess he was shocked Lauren was talking to him after the knock-down fight they had last night. “Um—I thought you were never talking to me again?”
I rolled my eyes. Oh gosh. Here we go again.
“You mentioned my father, I was just curious about what y’all were talking about,” Lauren said as she squared her shoulders. Lauren had every intention of taking over her father’s breeding business someday. She had mentioned to Grace and me how her father felt she couldn’t handle the business alone. Scott had felt that Colt had showed a great deal of interest in the horses and would make a great partner to take on the business with Lauren someday. Lauren had been livid the day she told us. In her eyes, she didn’t need anyone to help her run her family’s ranch.
Colt lifted the corner of his mouth. “What’s the matter, Lauren? You afraid your dad is going to like one of my ideas?”
Lauren stood and walked to Colt. She pointed her finger at him and began poking him in the chest as she spoke. “If you think for one second I’m going to take a step back while you wiggle your way into my family’s breeding business, you’ve got another thing coming, Colt Mathews. Stick with cattle, and leave the horses to me.”
Colt’s mouth dropped open and then he started laughing. “You’re threatened by me? Why Lauren? What did your daddy say? Maybe that you couldn’t handle it all on your own?” His eyebrow rose as if he knew something Lauren didn’t, which caused her to ball up her fists.
Luke cleared his throat. “Who wants to go grab an early dinner?”
Maegan, Taylor, and I all shouted out, “Me!” Everyone could see the fight that was brewing between Colt and Lauren.
“You won’t win, Colt,” Lauren hissed through her teeth.
Colt smirked. “I didn’t realize we had a contest going on, Lauren.”
Lauren placed her hands on Colt’s chest and pushed him. “Fuck you, Colt Mathews.”
Colt grabbed her wrists, “You wish you could, Lauren.”
Luke placed his hand on Colt’s shoulder, “Alright, that’s enough. Both of y’all just back the hell off each other. You’re both in college and there is plenty of time to sort all this out. Let’s get some dinner y’all.” Luke pulled Colt back some and began to lead him out the door. He glanced at me and our eyes met. We both smiled weakly.
Luke mouthed, After dinner? I nodded my head. Luke had asked to talk to me earlier today, but I had been avoiding him all day. I was scared to talk to him. Not knowing what he was planning on saying to me. I walked up to Lauren and laced my arm with her arm.
“Come on, let’s go get something to eat.” Taylor walked on the other side of Lauren and took her arm in hers.
Swallowing hard, L
auren whispered, “I hate him.”
Taylor and I both looked at her, as Taylor said, “No, Lauren, honey. I think you’re fighting your feelings for him.”
Lauren turned and looked at Taylor and then to me. She shook her head and whispered, “How can you love someone you hate so much?”
I stopped and took Lauren into my arms as she began to cry. Luke looked over his shoulder back at us as I motioned for him to keep going.
Maegan wrapped up Lauren and me in her arms. “We should have all signed in our blood not to fall for each other.”
I looked into Maegan’s eyes as she winked at me and then mouthed, Talk to him, Libby. Nodding my head I mouthed back, I will.
I STOOD UNDER the pier and looked out over the dark blue waters. The sun had already begun to sink beneath the horizon.
I slowly inhaled the sea air through my nose and then blew it out. I loved it down here. Something about the wind and the sound of the waves hitting the shore calmed my nerves and helped me forget.
Dinner had been interesting. Colt and Lauren retreated to their corners. Then we all pretended everything was okay and back to normal. We were getting good at pretending.
I knew the moment he walked up behind me. I could feel his energy. I closed my eyes.
I can’t do this anymore.
I’d never love anyone like I loved Luke, but my heart couldn’t take the pain any longer.
He stepped closer, and my breathing increased. I longed for his touch, for his lips to softly brush against mine, and for him to whisper he loved me.
“Hey, Lib.”
His voice made my heart drop and my stomach flip.
Taking a deep breath, I turned to face him. “Hey, Luke.”
His smile was forced. Something was on his mind, like something was on mine.
I started walking along the beach, and Luke followed. My phone beeped in my pocket, and I pulled it out. It was Zach.
Luke let out a laugh, and I looked over at him. He was walking next to me but looking straight ahead.
“Do you remember the time we put salt in your mom’s sugar container and Alex put three huge scoops in her oatmeal?”
Luke somehow always talked me into doing his crazy pranks with him.
Smiling, I nodded my head as I said, “Yeah, I remember.”
Luke started talking about how he’d gotten grounded for that prank as I opened up Zach’s text.
Zach: Libby, I’m so glad you texted me back. Baby, I understand you were confused, but I’m here. I’m waiting for you if you want to make this work.
I quickly hit the Home button on my phone and pushed it back into my back pocket. My heart was pounding.
Shit. I shouldn’t have responded back to Zach.
No, I did the right thing. Didn’t I?
My head was spinning, and Luke was talking about damn pranks.
I stopped walking and turned to him. I shook my head. “I really need to be alone right now, Luke. I have to think, and I can’t think with you living in the past.”
His smile dropped, and he nodded his head. I turned and started walking away from him.
“Libby, wait. Please.”
The moment his hand touched my arm, I felt the most amazing rush sweep through my body. I almost wanted to whimper with the way his touch affected me. Zach’s touch never did this to me.
I looked into Luke’s eyes. He had the most beautiful green eyes. I could see why women melted when he looked at them. I quickly looked away.
I can’t do this anymore. I can’t.
My eyes burned with the tears I fought to hold back. “Luke, I can’t stand here and pretend like nothing is wrong. Everything is wrong, and I … I need to move on with my life, and I can’t with—”
He held up his hand and shook his head. I stopped talking. His eyes searched my face and then moved to my lips. I instinctively licked them, and he snapped his eyes back up to mine where he searched them intently.
I held my breath and waited for what he was about to say.
“Libby, I have something I need to tell you.”
Swallowing hard, my heart slammed against my chest. Was he going to tell me he was moving on? I didn’t want to let him go. I didn’t want to be with Zach. I wanted Luke. Closing my eyes, I inhaled a shaky breath.
Luke placed his hands on the sides of my face and my eyes opened. I frantically searched his face for a sign of what was about to come from his lips. My breathing picked up and I became acutely aware of everything around me. Ocean waves crashing at our feet as the warm water surrounded us. The smell of Luke’s cologne filled my senses as the warm ocean breeze blew my blonde hair around. Birds flying over our heads searching for their evening meal.
“I love you, Libby. I’ve loved you for so long and I’ve been an idiot for pushing you away. If I could go back in time, I swear to God, Libby, I’d never hurt you. I’d tell you every single day how much I love you.” Luke closed his eyes and slowly shook his head. He opened his eyes again and began softly moving his thumbs against my skin. I placed my hands over his and smiled as I felt my tears slide down my overly sensitive skin. “Libby, I’ve laid in bed at night and dreamed of feeling your soft skin against mine. Dreaming of my lips exploring every single inch of your body. I’ve wasted so much time trying to figure things out and all I’ve done is hurt you in the process. I’m tired of running, Lib. I’m tired of feeling like I’m drowning in a sea of doubt and fear. I want to figure this out—together.”
A small sob escaped through my lips as Luke leaned down closer. His lips barely brushed against mine. “Please tell me I’m not too late, Libby.”
I placed my hands on his strong arms and whispered, “Kiss me. Please kiss me so I know I’m not dreaming.”
The smile that moved across Luke’s face caused my knees to weaken. Was it finally happening? Was Luke finally giving himself to me and allowing me to give myself to him? He pressed his lips to mine as we moved our arms around each other. My lips felt as if they were on fire. My fingers pushed into his hair as he pulled my body closer to him. Our kiss started off slow and easy, but quickly turned into raw passion. Our tongues moved and explored each other as we kissed liked we couldn’t get enough of each other. I wanted to crawl into his body and stay there forever. I was never going to let him go. I was never going to forget this moment.
Luke slowly pulled his lips back from mine and leaned his forehead against mine. “Libby,” he whispered. His breathing was fast and short. “I’m sorry … I’m so sorry it wasn’t me.”
Closing my eyes, I knew what he was talking about. “If I could go back in time, I would have never—”
Placing his lips back to mine, he kissed me again. It was slow, passionate and filled with love. Pulling back some, Luke whispered against my lips, “Let me love you, Libby.”
I let out a soft low moan, but then a thought occurred to me. The idea of Luke walking away caused my heart to begin beating harder within my chest. “I want you too, Luke. But my heart can’t take it if you were to push me away again.”
Time stopped the moment I saw the tear slowly begin to move down his cheek.
“I swear to you, Libby. I’ll never walk away from us again. I want to be forever yours.
Smiling, I reached up and wiped his tear way. “Yes. Love me, Luke. Please.”
LIBBY AND I walked back to the beach house. We stopped outside the pool house and Libby leaned against the door, smiling that smile that stole my heart so many years ago. “I feel like I’m dreaming, Luke. I don’t want this to be a dream.”
Placing my hand on the side of her face, I brushed my thumb against her cheek. “I promise you, you’re not dreaming.”
Smiling bigger, Libby bit down on her lower lip. I’d dreamed of making love to Libby for the last few years. I wasn’t about to rush this. I wanted to erase all memories of her night with Zach. And the only way to do that was showering her body with love and attention. I reached down and picked her up as I pushed open the door to the pool house
. Walking in, I kicked the door shut with my foot.
I slowly slid Libby down my body, making sure she felt how much I wanted her. Before her feet could touch the ground, I pressed my lips against hers and kissed her gently. “I’m going to love you all night long, Libby.”
I saw the lump in her throat as she swallowed. Her lips parted slightly and I couldn’t wait to have them wrapped around my dick one day. Today was not that day. This was going to be all about Libby. I was going to learn every square inch of her body. What she liked and what she didn’t like. What made her toes curl and what made her body hum.
I glanced up and looked at the wrought-iron bed. My dick jumped at the idea of tying Libby up and fucking her senseless.
Not yet. Now was about making love to her. Making up for all the lost time.
“Libby,” I whispered as I reached for her shirt and lifted it over her head as she raised her arms. Tossing her shirt to the side, I took every inch of her in. Her body was amazing. She had just the right amount of curves. Her muscular build was from years of running and hanging with us guys at the gym. Her breasts were begging to be sucked. I reached my hand up and placed it on her chest. Her soft cool skin beneath my hand rose and fell with each deep breath she breathed in. Smiling, I moved my fingertip along the edge of her blue lace bra. I cupped her breast and moaned when it fit perfectly in my hand. Rubbing my thumb across the lace fabric, I felt her nipple getting harder. She dropped her head back and moaned.
Reaching behind her back with my other hand, I unclasped her bra in three fast movements. She lifted her head and raised her eyebrow up at me. Smiling, I pressed my lips against her lips, sucking in her bottom lip as I retreated. Her bra dropped to the ground and she stood before me with the most perfect breasts I’d ever seen.
“Motherfucker,” I whispered as I leaned down and began sucking and pulling on her right nipple. Libby’s hands quickly moved to my head as she ran her fingers through my hair. When she stopped and tugged, I swore I had to fight coming in my pants.