Lupita spoke first. “Paul, you come in, too, and welcome Morgan back.”
“Her! It’s because of her that Seth left. It’s not right when a man has to leave his own home. We should get the sheriff for what she’s done. Get tired of your lovers, did you, honey?”
Defeated entirely, Morgan turned to leave. “It’s no use, Lupita. I’ll go.” Then she saw the gun in Lupita’s hand, aimed at the two men. “Lupita! No! It doesn’t matter. I’d rather leave than cause all this trouble. Please.”
“You’re right. Get out! We don’t want you.” Jake took a step toward her, in spite of Lupita’s revolver. “He almost died because of you. When he got over all the wounds, he was still sick. Sick over your treachery.”
Lupita stepped between Jake and Morgan. “Jake, we have known one another a long time and I’d hate to use this, but one step closer to her and I’ll shoot you in the leg.” Lupita’s eyes were hard. “She has a right to be heard, a right to tell her side of what happened.”
“She has no rights! She almost killed him!”
“I mean it, Jake. Not one more step. Now you two sit there and listen.” She gestured with the gun to the couch.
“Lupita, this isn’t going to work. You can see they hate me. No matter what I say, they’ll never believe me.”
“The note! We saw the note you wrote Seth. How could you run off with that Montoya when you had Seth?”
Morgan had turned to the bedroom, to get her bags. She just wanted out of the house, away from these people—two men who hated her unfairly and a woman who was ready to shoot someone for her. Jake’s accusation brought her back to reality. It was the same as the night Seth had come to her room. She had begged him to listen to her, but he had been too selfish to bother. That night began to come back to her … all of it. She whirled on the two men.
“I’ve had enough of the Colter men to last me the rest of my life! You accuse me of treachery? Did it occur to you that your precious Seth ever did anything wrong? Yes, I wrote a note to Seth, a note I thought was going to save his life. Yes, go ahead and look at me in disbelief.
“I don’t know why I bother with you. Yes, I do! I am sick of being accused of things I didn’t do.
“The night of the party, I waited and waited for Seth. I hardly talked to anyone; all I wanted was for him to come to me.” Morgan laughed.
“When he did come, he threw himself into a rage because I had dared step outside with Joaquín. You were right, Jake, when you said it was foolish to want Joaquín rather than Seth. I never even considered Joaquín. Never. I loved Seth and no one else. After Seth stormed out, I followed him. Joaquín went with me—to help me find him, he said. After several hours of riding, Joaquín took me prisoner in a strange house, tied and gagged me.”
The first flush of Morgan’s anger was gone now, leaving her weak. She sat down, staring at the empty fire-place. When she continued, her voice was quieter. “Joaquín said he’d kill Seth unless I wrote the note. He said that if Seth believed I’d run away, he’d hate the Colter ranch and sell it to him.”
“Why? Why would Montoya want this little place?”
Morgan didn’t look up. “Something about water rights. He said Seth could cut off the water from the Montoya ranch at any time.” She missed the looks of confirmation exchanged between Jake and Paul.
“But after I wrote the note, he came back to tell me that he had killed Seth. I knew then that Seth had died hating me.” She was silent for a while.
“What happened?” Jake’s voice was gentle.
Morgan looked up at him and smiled an ironic smile. “Oh, very little, actually. Joaquín paid a Frenchman to remove me. The Frenchman took me and three other women across the country and sold us to a brothel owner in San Francisco. She auctioned us off to the highest bidder, after what you might call an unveiling ceremony.”
Morgan laughed. Her speech became higher and more rapid. “I was lucky. A man bought me and was good to me. He never touched me. I was happy, after all the horror.
“Then Seth appeared. He was alive. He came to my room. He made love to me. I was so happy, happier than I’d ever been in my life. I told him how much I loved him. Then the accusations started. He believed Joaquín, not me. He would not listen to me at all. He wanted to know why Joaquín had left me. He found out about the brothel, but he thought I had worked there as a whore. He … he…”
Lupita was on her knees in front of Morgan, gathering her in her ample arms. “Get out and leave her alone. She’s been through enough. And I hope you both feel what I think you feel.”
Sheepishly, the two men rose and walked toward the front door. Then Jake turned and went back to Morgan. He gently pushed Lupita away and took Morgan in his thin arms. His voice was husky. “We’ve all done you a wrong, Morgan. I know Seth and I know his father. Under their calm faces, they’re jealous men, often given to yelling first and then asking questions. I’m right sorry we made the same mistake.” He pulled away from Morgan and looked at her, his hands on her shoulders. “Can you forgive us? Will you stay here with us?”
Morgan smiled at the old man. “I don’t know, Jake. I hadn’t planned to come back to the ranch. Frank insisted that I…”
“Of course she’ll stay. We have a baby on the way. A little boy just like Seth.” Lupita smiled broadly.
“It’s a girl,” Morgan answered her. “A nice, sweet, little girl.”
“A baby!” Paul was astonished.
Jake recovered from his own astonishment. “Yes, a young ’un, you numbskull. Morgan’s going to have a baby. We’ll teach him to ride a horse, brand cattle…”
Morgan laughed. “It’s going to be a girl and I’d like to get her into the world before you start teaching her how to ride a horse.”
“He’ll learn to use a rope, too, just like his pa.”
“She will learn to make pastry, just like her mother. Lupita, I’m starved.”
Everyone laughed together. “Babies need lots of food for growing. Let’s feed this one.”
It was a happy group that sat down to dinner. Lupita quietly put the gun back in the cupboard where she always kept it for emergencies. It was good to have laughter in the house again. If only Seth would come back. She offered a silent prayer to her favorite saint for his safe return. “Maybe he will come before the baby is born,” she whispered.
“But, Jake, I can’t stay here. What if Seth comes back? I don’t want to see him. I don’t ever want to see him. Not after what he did. I begged him, Jake, begged him to listen to me.”
“Now, girl, don’t get so riled up. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. First thing you need is for someone to help you with the baby. Who else you got?”
There was no one. She couldn’t go back to her Uncle Horace and Aunt Lacey. Seth’s parents would take her in, but that would be the same as staying on the Colter ranch.
“You see, you know there’s nothing else to do. So stop worrying and eat somethin’ for that boy.”
“Girl,” Morgan added absent-mindedly.
After the first few days on the ranch she began to relax. The house was familiar and the people cared for her. She began to think more about her baby. Her stomach seemed to stretch a little each day. She rubbed the mound often, glad of its presence.
“Cecilia. What do you think of that name, Lupita? I’m going to name her something very feminine. I get so tired of people’s comments about my name.”
“Cecilia is a good name. Another tortilla? They’re hot.”
“I don’t know why I’m so hungry. It seems that no matter how much I eat, I just get hungrier.”
Lupita smiled as Morgan coated the tortilla with freshly made butter. She poured her glass full of milk. “You’re eating for two now.”
“Yes, I guess so.” Morgan’s mouth was full. “I guess I should worry about getting fat, but somehow, I don’t care. I feel sort of like a … a big pillow, just content to do nothing. I don’t even worry about Seth coming. It seems nothing matters to me. I just want to hav
e Cecilia.”
Morgan looked up as Jake came into the kitchen from outside. “Are you still eating, girl? Did you know it’s time for the noon meal and you’re still eating breakfast?” He turned to Lupita. “She’s going to pop her skin. Why do you let her eat so much?”
Morgan held up her arm and looked at it. Jake was right. The skin was tight and almost shiny. Her ankles and legs were the same way. Somehow she didn’t care. She smiled up at Jake. “I’m glad it’s lunchtime, because I’m hungry.”
Jake watched her with growing concern as she ate constantly throughout the meal. After lunch, Morgan announced that she planned to take a walk. Jake was relieved to see her get away from Lupita’s stove.
Later, as Jake was in the barn, he saw Morgan make her way slowly past the open door. “Morgan,” he heard Lupita call. He watched in disbelief as Lupita fastened a cloth bag to Morgan’s back. “In case you get hungry,” he heard Lupita tell her.
Jake started to give his opinion of Morgan’s food needs, but thought better of it. Whenever he spoke out, Lupita ignored him and Morgan smiled sweetly at him and then went on eating. She already ate more than the other three of them put together.
As Morgan’s size increased, so did her placidity. She had not been so calm since she’d left Trahern House. Nothing bothered her. The emotions that had once raged inside her no longer concerned her. She thought of nothing but food and the baby’s name. All of them were names for girls.
She spent mornings with Lupita. Whenever she forgot what she was supposed to be doing, and stared into space, Lupita quietly finished her task for her. After lunch, she walked. She walked for hours, very slowly and awkwardly. She never had a definite path in mind or even seemed to remember later where she’d been. Lupita always made sure her knapsack was filled with food, and Morgan always returned the sack empty.
As the weather grew colder, Jake tried to stop her from her long walks, but she never seemed to hear him. He couldn’t understand her dreaminess, and he was worried about the way she looked.
Morgan’s entire body swelled and stretched. After the first few months, she could no longer get her feet into her own shoes. Lupita brought her an old pair of huaraches to wear. Morgan still wore Lupita’s clothes. The Mexican cotton blouse that had once swallowed her tiny frame now nearly burst at the seams. Her plump shoulders and bosom strained against the embroidered fabric.
One day as Jake and Paul watched her heading toward the trees for her daily walk, Paul commented, “A duck. She looks just like a duck.” They both laughed at the apt comparison. Morgan heard their laughter and waved.
“She’s somethin’.” Jake watched her go. “Even if you told her to her face she looked like a duck, she wouldn’t care. Sometimes when you talk to her, she don’t even hear you.”
“Women! I never understood them, especially one that changes as much as Morgan. She’s all sweet when Seth’s here and then she comes back spittin’ fire. Now she’s like one of the hens, just settin’ on her eggs.”
Jake grinned, showing his near-toothless gums. “That she is, a hen on her nest.”
January of 1851 was very cold, and there were some days when Lupita made Morgan stay in the house and forget her walk. Morgan was just as content to sit by the fire, nibbling on bizcochitos and empañaditas, as she was walking.
The baby became more and more active. Morgan rubbed her enormous stomach and was pleased with each kick. She never thought of the actual birth, only of the time when she’d hold her daughter in her arms.
In the ninth month, Morgan stopped her walks altogether. Her hands were swollen too badly to sew and her feet no longer fit the old huaraches.
Jake became more nervous with every passing day. “When’s that baby going to be born?” he demanded.
Neither Morgan nor Lupita paid any attention to him.
“You women don’t seem to understand that that child is very close to being my grandchild. I’m worried. I’ve seen lots of women going to have babies, but never one to gain as much weight as her.”
Morgan smiled at him. “Lupita, you know what I’d really like to have? Strawberries. I can taste them, so red and juicy. In Kentucky, we used to have the sweetest strawberries. And peaches! The juice would run down your arm. I think I could eat a bushel basket of peaches. And—”
“See! That’s what I mean. It just ain’t healthy for a woman to eat that much, or even a man to eat that much. She’s so fat now somebody has to help her in and out of the chair. That baby’s going to smother to death. Lord! If that baby ain’t born soon, I’m goin’ to go crazy.” He grabbed his coat and stormed out into the cold air.
As Paul watched him go, pipe in hand, he heard Morgan. “And blackberries. I’d risk a body covered in chiggers for a pint of blackberries right now.” He laughed to himself.
Lupita had begun to sleep in the big house. When she heard Morgan stirring in the bedroom, she was quickly in the room with her. Morgan was trying to change the bedclothes.
At the sight of Lupita, she began her explanation. “I guess Jake is right—I do eat too much. My stomach hurts and when I finally did go to sleep, I woke up again to find I’d wet the bed. I hope you won’t tell him; he’ll worry even more.”
Lupita went to Morgan and guided her to a chair. “Now sit down and I’ll change the bed. Does your stomach still hurt?”
“Yes, it … oh… Lupita. The baby! Lupita, it’s the baby, isn’t it?”
“Yes. Very soon now you will have a new baby.”
“I’m so glad. Victoria. How about Victoria?”
“What the hell’s going on in here? I suppose she got up to get something to eat.”
“Out! We are going to have a baby.”
“Oh.” Jake’s face became somber. “I’ll get the doctor.” He turned toward the door.
“I need no doctor meddling in this. I have felt the baby and he is in the right position. I’ve delivered too many to let some man tell me what to do. Now get out, both of you,” she said as Paul came in the front door. “I’ll call you when we have a new little Colter.”
The delivery was easy. It seemed only minutes before Lupita was saying, “There’s the head. Push again. Good. Slowly … ah.”
Morgan fell back on the pillows, her hair damp with sweat. “Victoria. Let me see my little girl.”
“Morgan, little madonna, your little girl is a boy. A very large and healthy boy.”
Quickly she finished washing the baby and wrapped him in a clean cotton blanket. Morgan put her arms out to the baby. Lupita finished cleaning the mother and checking to make sure there were no complications with the afterbirth.
She could hear Jake and Paul in the next room. “They’ll want to see you, now. Is it all right?”
“Yes. He’s beautiful, isn’t he, Lupita? Lots of hair, too. Look at his little hands.”
Quietly, Jake and Paul looked down on Morgan and her new son. “He’s going to be as big as his pa.”
“What’s his name? Cecilia?” Paul laughed.
Morgan smiled up at him. “Adam. My own sweet little Adam.” As she said the name, Adam screwed up his face, opened his mouth and let out a lusty yell.
“The baby is hungry. You will have to leave now and we will quiet him.”
“Hungry!” Jake was indignant. “He’s been eating like a pig for nine months and now he’s not ten minutes old and he’s hungry!”
They all laughed while Lupita shooed the men out. Morgan and Lupita were alone with the baby. It was some time before Morgan’s milk was enough for Adam’s huge appetite.
In the morning, Jake was relieved to see that Morgan ate only a normal breakfast. Lupita laughed at him. “You think your little girl is going to look like me? No. It was only the baby wanting so much to eat. She will soon be as slim as she was before. You will see. Already Adam gives her much exercise. He is a healthy baby.”
From the day of Adam’s birth, he never lacked for someone to give him attention. It seemed to Morgan that sometimes she had to fight t
o get to hold her own son. At first she had been almost afraid of him, but she soon realized his strength. He loved water and happily drenched his mother when she bathed him.
For the first three months, Morgan was content to stay in the house and see to the needs of her young son. But after a while, she began to grow restless. Gone was the placidity of her pregnancy. She began to ride for a short time each day and the weight she had gained melted off her, leaving her body smooth and slim once again.
As she studied her body at night, she found very little change. Her breasts were fuller because she was still nursing him, but her stomach was again flat and her legs were slim. She remembered her pregnancy as if it were a long dream, and she shuddered to remember the enormous amount of weight she had gained. “Oh well,” she murmured aloud, “at least there won’t be any more children.” The thought brought Seth to mind, and for the first time in months, she again felt anger and resentment. He had treated her unforgivably.
Lupita’s cottons once again swallowed Morgan. So, on one of his trips into Santa Fe for supplies, Paul returned with Mrs. Sanchez and several bolts of fabric. For three weeks Mrs. Sanchez stayed at the Colter ranch, and the three women sewed constantly on Morgan’s new wardrobe. There were two riding habits, several day dresses, and more dresses for shopping or visiting. Morgan had brought evening gowns from San Francisco.
Morgan wrote to Theron often, and he was delighted with the news of the baby. Theron and Jeannette were well. He had not hired another assistant. His clients still asked about her. As always, Theron begged her to return.
His letters always made Morgan a little sad. Although she was surrounded by people she loved and who loved her, there were times when she was lonely.
By August, 1851, Adam was six months old. He was a happy child and liked everyone. Frank came to visit and Adam was immediately taken with him. Frank carried him about on his horse and Adam laughed happily. Sometimes Morgan accused Jake and Paul of making fools of themselves over the little boy.
In September, Morgan turned twenty-one. Lupita planned a party. Morgan wore a deep blue satin gown that Theron had bought her. When she tried it on, she was surprised to find it loose.