“I’d rather stay with him myself.”
“Of course, you stay with Adam if you want. That way I’ll have Lupita all to myself.” He winked at the large woman. As he kissed his wife’s cheek, Seth was vaguely aware that Morgan wasn’t even looking at him. He frowned slightly when she turned away quickly.
Seth and Lupita sat at the breakfast table. “There really is nothing wrong, is there?”
“No, nothing. I am just an old mother hen and I wanted to be safe. I am sorry I did not clean up the mess before Morgan saw it. It is good to eat with you again, to see you again.”
“Lupita, I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done for Morgan, and Adam, and for me. I knew you’d come when we needed you.”
“Of course, I come. Is everything all right now, between you and the señora?”
“It’s coming along. It isn’t easy to forgive what I did to her.”
“She must see how much you love her.”
“No, I don’t think she does. Sometimes I think she does. Maybe she doesn’t trust me. I just try to wait and be patient.”
“Wait! You do not need to wait. You should not wait. She is your wife. Take her.”
Seth smiled indulgently. “It’s not like that. I’ve lost rights…”
“Rights! She is a woman and you are a man. And besides, you love each other.”
“I want Morgan to make up her own mind when she wants to come to me.”
“She can’t make up her own mind. I know Morgan very well. All her life she has had people tell her what to do. She has never had a chance to be her own self. At first, she spoke the words of her mother, and then she had an uncle to control her, and then she had you. Even in California, she was pushed and pulled by others.”
For some reason, Seth felt a need to defend his wife. “She made up her own mind when she asked me to marry her. That took courage.”
“Yes, I know all about that. Even then she bought someone to control her. I am sure she sensed that you were a strong man. Another woman might have told her problem to everyone. Then she would have had her choice of many men. But Morgan has always been too sheltered to make choices.”
Seth sipped his coffee. Lupita was right.
“Now she needs someone to help her.” She nodded her head toward the stairs. “She loves that little boy. But if someone does not help her, she will let him rule her life. She is a little girl herself.”
Seth sat silently for a moment. He had always been too involved with Morgan to look at her clearly, like Lupita did. Seth had always blamed Morgan’s mother, but he’d never realized that he filled the same place Mrs. Wakefield once had.
“I thought I might go home tomorrow.”
“So soon?”
“Yes. The boy is fine. He does not need me, but Jake and Paul do.”
“Lupita, I wish you’d stay. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you, and you know what you’ve always meant to me.”
“I must go home. Soon, I hope the three of you will come home, too.”
“Yes,” Seth grinned. “I’d like that. It would be nice to be on my own place again. I hope we will go. Maybe when Gordon gets back, I can leave. I’ll bring my wife and son with me. Morgan hasn’t really … accepted me as a husband, yet.”
“Accepted! These modern men! In my day, women did not choose their husbands; their parents told them who their husbands would be. That is what should have happened here.”
“What if Morgan had gotten Jake instead of me? Then where would I be?”
She turned to snap at him and then saw his teasing eyes. “We are too long at this meal. We both have work to do. Let’s get started.”
Seth kissed her on the cheek as he left for a long day on the ranch.
Lupita again spent her day with Adam and Morgan, talking and quietly laughing together. Lupita didn’t like the worried look Morgan’s eyes always held when she looked at her little son. The older woman could not convince her that he was out of danger.
At dinner, Morgan again refused to leave Adam. Seth saw the alarm and fear in her eyes and he agreed. He, too, was not completely satisfied that Adam was really well.
Seth and Lupita ate dinner alone and enjoyed talking about the Colter ranch. Seth was entertained by the stories of Morgan’s pregnancy.
As Seth led Lupita to her room, they stopped to look in on Adam. Morgan lay curled up on the cot.
“No, don’t wake her.” Seth put a restraining hand on Lupita’s arm. “Let her sleep.”
“She should sleep in her own bed. There is no need for her to stay in here all night. Her son is fine.”
“Let her stay. She needs the reassurance that he’s well. When she wakes, she’ll see him. Then she won’t worry.”
“Someday you will remember my words.”
“Lupita, did I ever tell you how pretty you are when your eyes flash like that?”
“You!” She couldn’t stop her giggle. How easy it was for this big handsome man to reduce her to an eighteen-year-old señorita!
Lupita fell asleep quickly, but Seth tossed about in his big empty bed for a long time.
The sun was barely up when Seth awoke. He pulled on some pants and padded towards Adam’s room. Morgan was asleep, one arm hanging off the side of the cot. He kissed her mouth. Her eyes fluttered open. Seeing Seth so close to her, she put her arms up to him, pulling him closer. As his lips fastened onto hers, she heard Adam’s plaintive voice: “Mama. Mama.”
Instantly, she was wide awake. She rolled quickly away from Seth to the other side of the cot and went to comfort her son.
Seth laughed. “I never thought my own son would become my enemy.”
Morgan’s face was serious. “He’s still a very sick child. He needs me.”
Seth turned away. “I need you, too,” he whispered. He looked back, chiding himself for his selfishness. “I’m going to take Lupita home. It’ll be a slower trip than before, so I’ll probably be gone for at least a week.”
Morgan was hardly listening. “You want something to eat, Adam? Lupita made some apple juice for you.”
“Morgan, did you hear what I said?”
“Something about a week?”
“I’m going to be gone a week, to take Lupita back to the ranch.”
“Yes. Well, don’t leave before I say goodbye to Lupita. I owe her a great deal.” She turned back to Adam.
Seth left the room angrily. Just when I thought things were going well, she doesn’t even seem to know I’m alive. I liked it better when my presence made her throw things.
Morgan ate breakfast with Adam while Lupita and Seth ate downstairs. Seth avoided all discussions about Morgan. One of the hands hitched a wagon while Lupita said her goodbyes. Morgan wanted the older woman to stay in case Adam’s fever returned, but this time Lupita didn’t even argue with her. She shrugged. Let the young ones solve their own problems, she thought.
“I am glad I do not have to ride a horse again.” She frowned, as though in pain.
“After two days on this thing, you’ll wish you had a soft saddle to sit on.”
They traveled for two days in the springless wagon, over hole-riddled roads. When they reached the ranch, at sunset on the second day, they were hot and dirty and tired.
Jake and Paul ran to meet them. Seth picked up the little man and whirled him around. His grip nearly crushed Jake’s frail body. “Just as skinny as he always was. When’s he gonna get some muscles? He looks like a girl.”
Paul shook the big man’s hand. “I reckon the boy’s all right.”
Seth beamed. “Thanks to Lupita here.” He put his arm around her ample shoulders.
Embarrassed, Lupita pushed his hand away. “You be careful or you might hurt yourself, trying to get your arms around me.”
“Hurt myself! Why, Lupita, you’re no bigger than a tadpole.”
She looked at him as if he were crazy.
Seth winked at Jake and then swooped Lupita into his arms and ran with her to the house.
Jake’s chest
puffed with pride. “That’s my boy,” he declared.
They had a lot to talk about at dinner. Lupita didn’t tell the entire story, but she said that Morgan and Seth were together again. Jake entertained them with more stories of Morgan’s pregnancy. “We was scared to death she’d fall down an arroyo. The way she was built, she’d still be rollin’.”
Seth shook his head. “I just can’t imagine Morgan like that. Are you sure you aren’t exaggerating, maybe just a little?”
“Well, let’s just say that after the seventh month, she quit usin’ the back door.”
Seth frowned, not understanding.
“It was too small. She had to go in and out the big front door.”
They all shared in the laughter.
Seth spent two days on the Colter ranch. Jake and Paul ran the place competently, and he could find no fault with any aspect of their management. Seth told them of the more complex problems of running the Three Crowns. “You could put the Colter ranch in the house, maybe just in the dining room.”
“The little girl’s sure gonna hate givin’ all that up, ain’t she? All them servants and all?”
Seth didn’t want to discuss with anyone—even himself—the possibility that Morgan might not want to return with him. She and Adam had been happy at the Three Crowns without him, and she might want to stay there. If that’s where she wanted to stay, then he’d stay with her. He needed to be near her, and his son.
On the morning of the third day, he hitched the wagon and prepared to leave. Lupita packed an old Indian basket with food for him to eat along the way, and several boxes more to take to Juan Ramón. Seth tied a milk cow to the back of the wagon, a gift to the farmer who had helped when Adam was ill.
After goodbyes, the three watched him go. “I don’t understand all this to-in’ and fro-in’. Why don’t the three of them come back here and live, where they belong?” There was no answer for Jake.
Seth stopped in Santa Fe and bought Adam a little metal toy train from one of the passengers on a wagon train. People were still streaming out to California.
He decided to buy some fabric for Morgan, and as soon as he walked into the store, he saw Marilyn Wilson.
“Seth! How are you?” she purred. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you.” She possessively took his arm and rubbed her overly ripe breast against it.
“Hello, Marilyn.”
She missed the coldness in his voice. “You’re just as handsome as always. I heard you were in California. I imagine that’s real excitin’.”
He looked her up and down. Her dress was a gaudy taffeta of red and green stripes. Her hair wasn’t too clean. “You would probably like the gold fields.”
Again, she missed his tone. She was encouraged by his looking at her body. “I guess you knew about my shop. My daddy bought it for me.”
“No, I didn’t know.” He could hardly look at her without remembering the lies she’d told the night of Montoya’s party. If I had known, he thought, I would not have come in here.
“But your… Mrs. Colter”—she spat out the words—“was here.”
“Was she? She never mentioned it to me.”
“Oh? Well maybe she also forgot to tell you about the man she was with. Very good-looking. And the little boy—he seemed to resemble the man. She was probably just taking care of him, although she did say he was her son.”
Seth laughed at himself. How could he ever have believed this woman’s lies? “Gordon is a friend of ours and Adam is my son.”
“Well, Seth, love,” she had her hands on his arm, “if that’s what you think. Of course, Joaquín left town about the same time as your wife, and I’ve always wondered—”
“Good day, Marilyn.” He left the store. He felt dirty for ever having touched the woman.
After Seth left, Morgan began to spend all her time with Adam. She fed every meal to him, allowing no one else to feed him. At night, she awoke frightened and was frantic until she was sure Adam was all right. During the day she’d sit for hours, just staring at him while he slept, holding his hand.
Roselle constantly tried to get her to go outside. She was pale and had lost weight. After the first few days, she wouldn’t allow Carol to clean Adam’s room; she wanted to do it herself. She didn’t go to the kitchen to cook any longer, but gave Roselle instructions about what to prepare. Adam had lost his appetite, and Morgan needed to coax and plead with him at every meal.
Seth was surprised to find the front door locked during the day. When Martin opened it, Seth thought the man looked older, and sad.
“It’s good to have you back, Mr. Colter.”
“It’s good to be back. Could you have Donaciano carry a bath to my room? Is Morgan out riding?”
“No, sir, she’s with Master Adam.”
Seth raised his eyebrows. ‘Master’ Adam? He bounded up the stairs, three at a time.
He stopped at the door and stared at the sight that greeted him. The room was airless, dark, and smelled bad. Morgan, her hair pulled once again into a tight little knot, was coaxing Adam to eat. “Please, sweet-heart, eat something. For Mommy.”
“No!” Adam yelled the word at her and pushed the cup away, nearly upsetting it.
“Morgan?” Seth’s voice was a whisper. She turned. He gasped at the sight of her. She had on the same dress she’d been wearing when he left, and there were food stains all over it. But her face was what frightened him: her eyelids were drooping, and the bluish circles under her eyes were now almost purple. Her skin was pale. She had an expression of great weariness.
“When did you get back?” Her voice was hoarse.
“Just now. What’s going on here?”
“I’m trying to help Adam get well.”
“Trying to—!” He tried to control his rising anger as he went to the window and threw back the curtains. The sunlight revealed the room to be even dirtier than it had first appeared.
Morgan followed him to the window and closed the curtain. “No. You mustn’t. It hurts Adam’s eyes.”
Seth grabbed her shoulders. “Morgan, how much sleep have you been getting?”
She looked away. “Enough.”
He pulled her chin up so she met his eyes. “Answer me.”
“Adam needs me sometimes in the middle of the night. Aren’t you going to greet your son?” She turned away and smiled at Adam.
For the first time, Seth looked at his son. Except for having lost a little of his tan, he looked healthy. Seth smiled at his son. Adam turned away and picked up a spoon by his bed and began to bang on a little metal tray. “Mama!” he demanded.
Morgan looked at Seth in explanation. “That’s for when he wants me.”
“What happened to his learning to talk?”
“He’ll learn to talk. Right now, he just needs time to recover.”
“Morgan, he should be outside. In the sunshine.”
“No! I told you sunshine hurts his eyes.”
“Well, it never did before.” He stepped nearer Adam. “You want to go with me on a horse?”
Adam looked up at his father with a bored expression and then turned to his mother and began to whine, “Mommy.”
Morgan lifted the covers and put her hand underneath.
“What are you doing?”
“Checking his diaper.”
“But he hasn’t worn a diaper in a long time—just the few days he was sick.”
“But he’s still weak, Seth, very weak.”
Adam threw Seth a look of hostility and continued his whining.
“I think you ought to leave now. Adam needs his rest.”
He had been dismissed! He turned and left the room before rage began to control his thinking. He stormed into the kitchen where Roselle and Martin were drinking coffee together. “What the hell’s going on here? I leave for one week and what do I come back to? A shell of a wife in a filthy dress who hasn’t slept in a week, and a son who whines and demands! What happened to the little boy I left here, the one who smile
d and laughed? Do you know what she was doing when I walked in? Begging him to eat! My little son, whose whole life is controlled by food! She’s up there pleading with him to eat.
“He’s finally learned to say no, and from what I heard, he says it quite often. And that goodamn spoon on a tray—”
“Mr. Colter, we know. We’ve been watching it all happen.”
“Well, something has to be done about it. Maybe I’ll be able to reason with her at dinner.”
“Then you’ll be dining downstairs?”
“Of course, we will. Where else would we eat?”
“Mrs. Colter no longer uses the dining room. She takes all her meals in the nursery with Master Adam.”
“When did you start all this Master Adam?”
“Mrs. Colter thought it was more fitting to the young sir.”
“Young…!” He spun around and left the room. He doubted he’d ever been angrier in his life. He had to calm himself. After a bath and a shave, maybe he would feel like reasoning with her.
When he’d finished, he was still angry, but he realized that some of this was his fault. Lupita was right. Morgan needed someone to control her life.
She was sitting beside the bed, reading to the little boy. Adam was frowning, so unlike his old dimpled self.
“Morgan, are you ready to go down to dinner?”
“I’ll stay here. Adam may need me.”
He lifted her under her arms. The dress was wet. “How long has it been since you’ve had a bath?”
“I don’t know. I guess I’ve been too busy lately.”
He pulled her to him, his arms around her. “I don’t care. I still love you. Come eat dinner with me and then I shall personally give you a bath.”
Behind them, Adam made a whining, petulant noise.
Morgan tried to pull from Seth’s grasp. He held her, but she looked at him with fierce eyes. “Let me go!” she snarled at him. Surprised, he dropped his hands. She went to her son’s side, feeling his forehead. She sighed in relief.
“Morgan, he’s not sick any longer. He’s perfectly healthy. All he needs is to get up and run, maybe ride a horse.”
Morgan faced him, hands on hips, her face shrewish. “Ride a horse! The doctor said his illness was caused by some insect bite. He probably got it while riding a horse. Now, if you want to stay here, be quiet. I have a sick child to care for, and he needs my attention.”