She paused, her back arching. “I, ah, don’t think I can take you like this. You’re too big.”
Too much need roared through him to allow her to set the pace, anyway. Keeping her gaze, he slid his hand down her torso to reach the tight knot of her clitoris.
She gasped and gyrated against him. “I don’t think I can wait.”
That made two of them. But he’d dreamed of this moment for five lonely, long years, and he had to prolong it as much as possible. “You remember our first time?” he asked, brushing his thumb along the little bundle of nerves.
“Yes.” She gasped, arching against his thumb, her head falling back.
“I was so afraid I’d hurt you,” he murmured, pinching gently with two fingers.
She made a sound full of need and demand. Her eyes fluttered closed, the graceful line of her neck exposed. “You didn’t hurt me. It was amazing.”
He’d hurt her a little, which was inevitable, and even causing her that simple pain had broken his heart. “I dream about that night sometimes, and it’s like I’m back in that moment. Until I wake up alone.” He dreaded the heartache that followed upon waking fully each time. But now wasn’t the time for emotion or regrets. There’d be plenty of moments for pain later.
Her eyelids flipped open, and her eyes softened. “Me too.” Dropping forward, she scraped her nails down his chest, her sex grinding along his shaft. “Now, Nate.” To emphasize her point, she pinched his nipple.
He smiled, reached up, and pinched hers.
She gasped, and her body shuddered. Sexy and feminine. Desire darkened her eyes to nearly black.
Desperate with the need to taste her, he wound a hand around her neck and drew her down. She sighed against his lips, and he took over. Holding her in place, his mouth covered hers, and he delved deep, demanding what he needed.
She was the only woman in the world who’d ever taken him outside of himself and away from his bloody life. The effort to touch her physically without allowing his emotions to reawaken strained his muscles, but he had no choice. Plus, she’d left him. Maybe this was only sex to her.
If so, he’d take the moment and keep it.
Her mouth responded to him with sweet fire. So he went even deeper, angling her head for better access.
Thunder cracked outside, and he ignored the sound. The woman destroyed him, always had, and pretending he gave a shit about the world right now would require concentration.
His was entirely centered on the little wildcat digging her nails into his shoulders and rubbing her clit along his dick. Sensations bombarded him from every direction, all smelling like gardenias and feeling like pure heaven.
She levered back, her lips hovering over his, her breath heating his mouth. “Please, Nate.”
He’d never been able to deny her. Instinct and need took over, but he’d never hurt her. “Tell me if I’m too much,” he ordered hoarsely. Flipping them back over, he covered her and quickly nabbed a condom from his discarded jeans and rolled it into place.
Her slim fingers curled over his shoulders, and she widened her legs, arching up against him.
It was too fast. Yet he paused at her entrance and slowly tried to enter her. Tight. Hot. Wet. So damn wet. He made it almost an inch in before she stiffened. So he kissed her, going deep, withdrawing and then working himself back in.
Her nails bit into his flesh.
“You’re tight,” he whispered, the roaring of his blood filling his ears. He’d forgotten her fragility or the desperate need it created in him to protect and defend. The muscles in his biceps and triceps vibrated as he held himself back, as he held himself in check.
She chuckled, need filling the sound. “It’s been five years, Nate.”
He paused, his head jerking up. His heart thumped. Hard. “What?”
Confusion and then alarm crossed her face. Her mouth worked, but no sound emerged. She gave an apologetic half shrug, scraping her nipples against his chest.
He shook his head, the world silencing. She couldn’t have meant… “Five years since we were together,” he said, making sense of the moment.
She blinked, the thoughts smoldering across her face, in her expressive eyes.
His dick swelled, only halfway to home. “Audrey. You haven’t been with anybody else?” How was that even possible?
She sighed and widened her legs, bringing her knees up. “No.”
The world screeched to a full stop. What did that mean? Had she hoped they’d get back together? “I don’t understand.”
“You don’t need to. I’ve been busy.” Shields drew over her eyes, keeping him out.
Everything in him wanted to push for an answer—to understand. Being inside her felt real and right. The thought that the moment might mean as much to her stole his breath. But even so, he’d lose her again.
Without question.
And that hurt more than the stab wound he’d once taken to the kidney. “Audrey—”
“Enough talk.” She arched against him and tightened her internal muscles.
His ears burned as she gripped his cock like a vise. The idea that he was the only man to have touched her, to have taken her, spurred the beast inside him to life. There was no holding back. Clamping her hip, his mouth covered hers, kissing her with more emotion than he’d ever be able to express.
His body took over. With a hard shove, he plunged inside her. She cried out into his mouth, her eyes widening, her body arching.
She took a deep breath, blinked several times, and relaxed into the bed. “Wow.”
Heated, internal walls clenched him fiercely, enclosing hard enough he needed to pound. Even his back muscles tensed when he held himself still. This was Audrey. “Are you all right?”
She smiled and scooted her butt even farther down. “Yes. Now move.”
No further encouragement was needed. He slid out and back in, the incredible heat caressing his length. Home. He was finally fucking home.
Slowly, watching her closely, he increased his pace, fighting everything he was to be gentle.
She sighed and met his thrusts. Passion glazed her eyes in an expression of trust and vulnerability. He needed her to remember him. Even if he died in three weeks, he needed to bury himself so deeply inside her that a part of him always lived there.
Fear had no place between them, and yet it nearly choked him. She was the one person he’d truly been himself with, and she had to keep a thought of him alive. He had to matter to somebody.
The power she still held over him should have given him pause, but not right now. Not when his body covered hers, when her sighs mixed with his, when those sharp nails bit into his skin.
Now was for feeling.
Harder, faster, he began to pound, gauging her, making sure he didn’t hurt her. Holding back, yet still experiencing as close to heaven as he’d ever reach. She bit her lip, need shimmering in her eyes. “Nate.”
At his name, he closed his eyes and thrust even harder. How many times had he awoken the last five years to the sound of his name on her lips, only to find the bed empty? Electricity danced down his spine, sparking his balls. He needed this. Needed her.
Reaching down, he brushed her clit. He remembered exactly how she liked to be touched, rough and fast. “Now, Audrey.”
She arched, screamed his name, and came with a rippling inside her that held him tight, demanding his own release. He shoved hard into her, hitting her G-spot, prolonging her orgasm until she whimpered in surrender.
Then he exploded.
Chapter 9
Audrey tried to roll over, her breath catching at the realization that she couldn’t move. Panicked, she kicked out. Pain radiated up her bad leg.
“Whoa, darlin’,” Nate murmured, his voice rough with sleep. “Hold on—we’re entangled.”
Oh. Oh yeah. Holy moly. She’d slept with Nate. “Okay.” Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm her racing heart as he untangled the sheets from around them. Nate. Sex. Holy crap on a cracker. What ha
d she been thinking? Nothing, that’s what. Not one thought of self-preservation had entered her sex-starved head. The clock continued counting down to the most dangerous moment of her life, one she’d engineered to take down the commander’s entire organization, and she’d just complicated the situation beyond belief.
Sheets untangled, Nate moved with sinewy grace to lean back against the headboard. Gentle hands lifted her to sit as he tugged her legs over his thighs. “I want to really see what happened,” he said.
Realization dawned. Light streamed in from the window, fully illuminating the bedroom. The intimacy of the moment tempted her to wish for something that could never happen. Too much had occurred between them, and they both had missions to complete that would most likely get them killed. Plus, it wasn’t like he’d declared love and asked to make a go of it. “No.” She tried to free her legs.
“Yes.” Gentle fingers tapped over the scars both above and below her knee. “How many pins in there?” he asked softly.
She swallowed. Sex was one thing, the intimacy of morning another one entirely. “Five.” Well, five now. “I’ll always have a limp.”
He caressed her flesh, his gaze gray and strong. “I’m sorry.”
She shook her head. “Not your fault. Never was.”
“You don’t blame me?” Incredibly long lashes rested against his skin when he closed his eyes and exhaled. “You should.”
“No.” She reached out and cupped his stubbled jaw, waiting until he focused on her before speaking. “None of this is your fault—it never has been. You’ve always done your best, and you’ve always sacrificed everything. I know I let you down, and I’m sorry.” But she had to continue on her current path in order to make things right. If she shared with him, he’d try to stop her.
He turned his face into her palm with a soft kiss. “Let me get you out of here.”
“No.” She dropped her hand.
He sighed, studying her. “Tell me they made you work for them.”
“They didn’t.” She let the truth show in her eyes.
“Then why?” His voice emerged rougher than freshly laid gravel before trucks pounded each stone into submission.
She slid her legs off his. “They agreed to treat me, to make me better, if I worked for them. The second I regained mobility, I went to work for the senator.”
“But you’re better now. You can leave.” Nate shoved away from the bed, dangerous and naked. Frustration cut harsh grooves along his generous mouth.
Regret and hurt ticked down her spine. She carefully stood, pausing to make sure her leg held. “I don’t want to leave now.” She meant every single word. For nearly five years, she’d suffered, healed, and planned. It was time to take down the commander, and only she could scream the battle cry. From day one she’d known the power of the organization and that the only way to beat it was from the inside. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too.” Nate ran a rough hand through his hair.
She wanted to level with him. But she and the senator had meticulously planned for three years, and Nate would complicate things. Sure, he would be a huge asset in a fight, but with his emotions in play, he’d go too far.
Audrey sucked in air. Even so, one of her main goals was to protect her mother. Whether it made sense to anybody else or not, she had to try. Nate wouldn’t agree, nor should he. “What’s the plan now?” Audrey asked.
He glanced at the floor. “Do you have a cat?”
“No.” Had he lost his mind?
“I keep hearing a cat,” he mused.
She forced a smile. “Mrs. Abernathy downstairs has a tabby named Chester. You must hear him.” Man, the guy had amazing hearing. “Though Chester doesn’t usually make much noise.”
“I hear his heartbeat. Chester is chasing something. I’ll have to block the noisy feline.” Nate reached down and drew on his jeans. Sinewy muscle shifted at the graceful move.
She swallowed, heat rushing directly south. Even in the devastation of the morning after, her body wanted him back in bed. Now. She had to focus on something else. “Tell me about Jory.”
Nate turned, his jeans unbuttoned, his chest broad, devastation stamping his chiseled face to be smothered like a candlewick under a blanket. No expression remained. “We have a video of a woman shooting Jory and of him falling to the ground.”
Pain slashed into Audrey’s center. She wanted to move forward, but something dangerous in Nate’s eyes stopped her. “When? How?” She shook her head, her mind reeling. “I’ve never heard a word about Jory being shot.”
“Shane thinks he saw another video in which Jory moved, but Shane had a head injury, and the other video has never been found.” Nate’s voice remained monotone as he grasped his shirt to tug over his head. “We’ve looked everywhere, and the only place this could’ve happened is at the commander’s Virginia base. Jory has to be there.”
Nothing should’ve happened to Jory. He was a sweet, very gentle giant in a dangerous world. Tears pricked the backs of Audrey’s eyes. Sure, the guy had been trained to kill, but he’d been so kind to her. Always.
While she hadn’t gotten the chance to really get to know Matt, Shane, or Jory, what she’d seen, she’d liked. They acted as a solid unit, and they’d do anything for each other.
Watching the Gray brothers had made her wish beyond anything else for a sibling to have and love.
But all she had in the world was her mother.
The woman who’d tested and helped train the Gray brothers.
She and Nate would never see eye to eye on that issue. “I’m so sorry about Jory.” The idea of Jory being killed would destroy Nate. How was he even standing? “Do you really think he’s alive?”
“I don’t know. But if he is, the commander has him, and I have to find him,” Nate growled.
She shouldn’t say anything. She really shouldn’t. “There may be another compound somewhere.” The words burst out of her like gun pellets. Maaaan. One night of great sex, and she started telling him things she shouldn’t. Things that would get them both killed.
Nate’s chin slowly lowered. “Where?”
Butterflies on cocaine winged in her abdomen. “I don’t know, but I’ll find out.” It was the least she could do. If Jory had been shot by a woman in the commander’s employ, there was a good chance Audrey’s mother had held the gun. Though, maybe not. Just shooting somebody like that spoke of temper, of feeling and not thinking. That did not sound like Isobel Madison. Or maybe Audrey just couldn’t bear it if her mother had killed Jory. “Tell me about the kill chips.”
Anger blazed across Nate’s face. “They’re lodged near our spines, and if the correct code isn’t entered into the correct computer with wireless communication to the chips, they explode in three weeks.” Nate reached back and absently rubbed his shoulder. “I have to get the codes.”
She thought she’d felt fear before, but the claws raking through her gut held poison. A chip ready to sever Nate’s spine? How was this even possible? Brilliant but deadly. “Can’t you take them out?”
“No. If they’re touched with anything, they explode.” His tone remained matter-of-fact.
Audrey poked a bruise on her wrist, her mind reeling. “How delicate are they? I mean, if you’re hit just right, what happens?”
“They blow up.” Nate rubbed his whiskered chin. “We’ve taken nearly five years to prepare and find the commander, and we don’t have anything yet. No codes, no computer program, no idea how to survive this without turning ourselves in.”
“You can’t.” Fear bit into her. “If you turn yourselves in, he’ll never let you go. Ever.”
“I know.” Determination made Nate’s jaw look like carved stone.
Her mind reeled. “How long have you known about the chips?”
He shrugged. “They were implanted a year before we escaped.”
She stilled. “So you knew about them? When we were together?”
His gaze shuttered closed. “Yes. I didn’t see the need
to worry you.”
He’d never really opened up to her, had he? A kernel of hurt pricked her heart that he hadn’t confided in her. She was tough enough to take the truth, but it was too late to worry about that now, and she still wanted to help him. “Whatever. I have doctor appointments later this week and will see what I can find out.”
“No.” Nate slid his hands into his front pockets. “I’m not here to put you in danger. Give me the layout of the base here, and I’ll take it from there.”
If he only knew. The need to confide in him tried to push words out, but she didn’t want him to stop her. Darn it. Nate deserved the entire story before he took on the commander. Maybe she should bring Nate into the fold with the senator. But first she needed to get the full plan from the senator before she approached Nate, because the guy would definitely be a hard sell—and something had to happen soon. She nodded. “Okay. I’ll get the layout.”
He shook his head, warning twisting his lip. “Don’t lie to me, Audrey. We both know I could have you contained, away from here, within seconds.”
She gasped, heat spiraling into her cheeks. “And we both know I could have you contained, at the base, within seconds, don’t we?”
Nate stiffened. His chin lifted at the threat while his cock hardened instantly, biting into his zipper. The threat was meant to throw him off balance, but the obvious lie inherent in the words calmed him. The challenge she threw down spurred him on. “I don’t think you’ll call the commander.”
She lifted her chin. “Won’t I?”
“No. Although, when did you start calling him by his first name?” The Audrey Nate remembered had been scared to death of the military leader.
She blew out air and leaned down to fetch a robe from under the bed. She shook the plush material out, frowning at the wrinkles. “Asshat didn’t seem appropriate.”
So she still didn’t like the guy. “If you can’t stand him, why are you working with him?” Nate asked.
“I explained that.”
But there was more. There had to be. “Audrey?”