Oh, God. No. He’d been with me.
A flash of panic went through me and I waited for my body to respond, but it didn’t. I needed to see Cody.
“Don’t.”
I would have flinched if I could’ve moved. The sound of Edward’s voice was a slap.
“We can’t talk about it in here. She might hear us. Just…”
“I know.” Kendra sounded closer. I felt pressure on my hand.
So not paralyzed, right? I couldn’t be paralyzed if I could feel her touching my hand. But I still couldn’t move. Was that because of the coma? I had so many questions.
“Gabs? It’s me. I…I brought a book. It’s one of the romances I love to read. You always tease me about them. Well, now you’re going to get to listen while I read…”
Her voice cracked. Then she started to read.
I wanted to scream. I didn’t want to hear her read. I wanted to know what had happened. I wanted someone to fill in the blanks. Someone to tell me about Cody and why Edward had sounded so upset. I needed to know.
But I couldn’t ask. All I could do was lie here and listen as Kendra’s voice lulled me back into the darkness.
Somebody was reading again.
A hand brushed my cheek. I was so tired…
Darkness faded in and out. Sometimes there was light. Sometimes…there was just nothing.
I was trapped inside the prison of my own body and nothing I did seemed to change that. The one good thing was that my head didn’t hurt so much. Nothing hurt really, but I was glad for the dull, throbbing ache I could feel. It meant that I wasn’t dead, and it probably meant I wasn’t paralyzed either, no matter how much it felt like it.
The voice was new, I suddenly realized.
“My, my, my…Gabriella, I’m going to have to thank Kendra for bringing this book in.”
Mom…
The sound of her voice finally penetrated the fog in my head. Her hand took mine and when she threaded our fingers together, I wanted to cry, but I didn’t even have that outlet for all the misery trapped inside. This was the most awful cage I could imagine. I didn’t know how much longer I could stand it without going crazy.
A faint sniffling sound came to my ears, breaking my heart. No, Mama…don’t cry.
“Okay, enough of that. Let’s see what this chick Vaughnne is up to. She’s…well, pardon my French, but she’s a bit of a bad-ass, isn’t she?”
Pardon my French. I tried to laugh, but nothing happened.
She read for a few minutes and I got lost in the sound of her voice, so lost that I never realized I was drifting away again. At least not until a furious voice snapped me back.
“Get your high and mighty ass out of my daughter’s room or so help me, I will drag you out!”
I had no doubt about who she was speaking to, but just what pissed my mother off so bad? She never talked like that. Not unless…
“It’s her fault!”
Claire.
Edward’s mother.
An icy hand gripped my heart. What was my fault?
Suddenly, I saw the lights of a car. Maybe a truck. I saw Cody, the blood, his body wrenching, only to be held in place by the seat belt. The blood…the blood…
What happened? I wanted to scream at someone to tell me what I’d done.
“If you want to blame somebody, you miserable bitch, you go blame the asshole who ran the red light.” My mother’s voice was low. Low and furious. “Now get out. I won’t warn you again.”
“How dare you speak to me like that? You ignorant, backwoods—”
The sound of a cracking slap filled the room, followed by a screech.
Despondent, I slid back into the darkness. Even the sounds of my mom going toe-to-toe with Claire couldn’t keep me there.
Something was my fault…and I had the worst feeling it had to do with Cody.
If something bad had happened to him, I’d never forgive myself. Because no matter what my mother said, it was my fault. I remembered enough to know that.
“Come on, Gabs…”
I was too groggy to care about the voices anymore.
It was easier to stay in the darkness. Easier not to have to think about what had happened. About Cody. No one talked about him. They all kept talking to me and I didn’t want them to.
But she wouldn’t shut up. None of them would.
“Gabriella, they took you off the meds two days ago. You can wake up now. So do it already.”
No…I think I like it here.
Retreating deeper into the warm gray haze, I ignored the voice. I could barely tell who it was anyway.
“That’s it.”
A hard voice. Hard, flat, almost angry.
“Gabs, it’s Jackson and if you don’t get out of that bed soon, I’m going to kick your ass, coma or no.”
Jackson. My mind conjured up a scrawny boy, taller than me already, with a wide, bright grin and eyes almost exactly like mine. Jackson. My baby brother. The baby brother who was going to get married.
A rough hand gripped mine and squeezed. Then there was a voice, pressed close to my ear. “Did you hear me? Wake the hell up. You’re scaring Mom. You’re scaring Dad. You’re scaring all of us. I get why you’re wanting to hide, but stop it.”
You don’t get anything!
I wanted to scream at him.
I couldn’t.
I couldn’t do anything.
No…I don’t want to do anything…
“It’s not your fault,” Jackson said, his voice softer now. “I heard what that stupid cow said. Mom and Dad told me. And that’s when you started to get worse. Your heart-rate slowed, your blood pressure dropped. Everything got worse. It doesn’t take a doctor to put two and two together. Well, fuck that. Are you really going to let her keep you trapped like a corpse in that bed?”
Her…Claire. My mind summoned up an image.
Claire. She’d said it was my fault. Something…
Cody.
The truck. The crash. The blood.
I wanted to cry. I needed to cry.
But I couldn’t.
Not while I was trapped.
“Come on, Gabs,” Jackson murmured. “Don’t do this to us.”
I tried to speak, to ask him about Cody. I tried and failed.
But as he stayed there talking, I kept on trying. He was right, I couldn’t give up. I had to wake up so I could see my friend again. I couldn’t let Claire win.
Seventeen
“Can you hear me, sweetheart?”
Edward’s hand stroked my cheek.
It felt…different.
Lights blinded my eyes, almost painful, despite the fact that I still couldn’t lift my lids. His sigh was a gentle puff against my forehead as he brushed his lips against my skin. I could feel the weight of his arm over my head. He was leaning down, all but surrounding me. I was aware of all of it. More aware than I’d been in a long time.
“Any change?”
Kendra!
As he moved away, I tried yet again to open my eyes. Eyelids shouldn’t be this heavy.
“Some. Her heart rate and blood pressure are more stable. The doctor thinks…”
His voice became background noise as I struggled harder to open my eyes, to do something.
“Her family is talking about wanting to have her transferred.”
“They can’t do that!” Kendra’s voice rose.
“I know. But they want to be near her as well and they can’t afford…” He sounded so defeated. Resigned that he was going to lose me.
Mama, Daddy, you can’t…
I managed to lift my lids a tiny slit. The light was piercingly bright. With a gasp, I closed my eyes again. Too much, way too much. Darkness washed back up. This time, I didn’t want to go, but I was too tired and I couldn’t stop it.
“Did…Edward, did you hear that?”
The next time, I managed to open my eyes all the way.
A rat’s nest of auburn hair rested on the edge of my bed next to my
hand. There was an IV in the back of it. I looked at it for a moment, my groggy brain processing. I looked at the hair. It looked like mine.
Jennifer.
I tried to lift my hand to touch her, but it was even heavier than my eyelids had been. I only managed to get it up about an inch, but it was movement enough to wake her.
Her head jerked up and she froze, staring at me with those dark brown eyes that looked so much like Mom’s. Like mine.
Suddenly, she screamed. “You’re awake!”
Moaning at the pain that resounded at the shrill noise, I mumbled, “Do that again and I’ll wish I wasn’t.” My voice sounded funny and I wondered how long it had been since I’d spoken last.
The room was full before I even realized what was going on.
There were nurses and I was being looked over and poked and prodded, but all I wanted was to be with my family. They gathered in the door until the medical staff pushed them out. But finally, the nurses were done, warning us the doctor would be in soon to check me out, and they let my family in.
Edward and Kendra gathered on one side, Jackson on Kendra’s other side, while my parents and Jennifer took up the head of the bed opposite them. My older brother and both older sisters were missing. Again, I wondered how long I’d been out of it. They would’ve had to go back home if it had been more than a couple days. I shifted uncomfortably as everyone stared at me like I’d risen from the dead. Just how bad had it been?
“What…” The words trailed away as all the memories that flickered through my head while I lay trapped in this bed surged to the fore. “A wreck. A truck…it hit us, right?”
Edward nodded. My mom was the one who spoke, though, explaining everything in a surprisingly calm voice. Or, at least calm until she reached the end. “The driver dropped his cellphone. I oughta…” Mom stopped, sucking in a breath. Her dark eyes glittered with fury.
Another memory and the question popped out. “Did you hit Claire?”
Mom’s cheeks colored and she glanced toward Edward. Edward’s face was set in stone. Neither of them responded.
Jennifer didn’t have any such issue. “Damn right she did.” She shot Edward a challenging look. “Claire came charging in here to yell at you while you were trapped in the bed…in a coma…even though the cops had already told everybody the driver of the truck was at fault. Witnesses said he came blasting out of nowhere. Nobody in their right mind would’ve blamed you.”
“Her son is in a coma. He could have permanent injuries,” Edward said stiffly. “She’s not in her right mind.”
Cody. My heart twisted and I felt tears burning against my eyelids. I couldn’t cry though. I knew if I did, everyone else would, and I didn’t want that. I had a feeling enough tears had been shed.
“My daughter was in a coma,” Mom countered. “She could have had permanent injuries and your brother was driving. She was just in the passenger seat. Using your logic, should we all go attack Cody?”
Edward inclined his head and sighed, “Of course not. You’re handling all of this…admirably. I’m not saying my mother reacted well.”
Jackson opened his mouth and I knew it wasn’t to say something nice about Claire.
“Please…” I held up my hand. Even the slight movement, even that single word was taxing. “Just…don’t. Okay?”
Immediately, they went quiet and Edward bent down to kiss my cheek. “I’m sorry, darling.”
As he straightened, Kendra leaned against him. I glanced toward them, my eyes lingering a moment. I was so tired, but I had to ask two things.
“How long?”
“Almost two weeks,” Dad answered. His hand gripped mine almost tight enough to hurt. His green eyes were bright with unshed tears.
That explained why the others weren’t here. I really hoped they didn’t feel like they had to come back up to see me. I didn’t need anything else to feel guilty about. Speaking of which...
“How…” I swallowed. “How is Cody?”
Edward looked away. He looked awful, I suddenly realized. His normally impeccable light brown hair was rumpled, his handsome face haggard. He was wearing a sweatshirt and jeans, the kind of clothes I’d never seen him in. I hadn’t even known he owned them. “He’s…we don’t know, Gabriella.” Now he looked back at me, his jaw tight. “He hasn’t woken up. He came in unconscious, slid into a coma not long after. They induced a coma because of the swelling in your brain. You were in one for almost a week when they took you off the medicine. Cody…he went into one on his own and he’s not waking up.”
“Have you seen him?”
He squeezed my hand. “Earlier today. I wanted to be with you.”
“Go.” I squeezed back, as my eyelids drooped lower and lower. “Go see him.”
As he left, I glanced over at Kendra to say something, but she was staring after Edward. I needed to remember to thank her for being there for him through all of this.
I didn’t remember falling asleep.
I did remember waking up and that was because I’d done so with a scream. I’d had a dream about the wreck and then I’d thought I was trapped again—not in the car, but in the awful prison of my own body, where I could hear things, even smell things, but I couldn’t see or move.
Panting, I reached for the handrail of the bed and tried to pull myself up.
“Hey, hey, hey…” Kendra’s face appeared in my line of vision. “What are you doing, Gabs?”
“I need…” My voice cracked. Mouth terribly dry, I wheeled my head around. “Water. I need some water. Need to sit up.”
“Let me call the nurse.” She moved out of my sight.
“No! Help me sit up!”
She was back before I could even blink, smoothing a hand down my hair. “Gabs, listen to me, sweetheart. You had injuries in the wreck. Nothing major, but I don’t feel comfortable moving you.” Her smile wobbled. “I don’t want to hurt you. The nurse won’t—”
“Can I help you?” A new voice intruded and I rolled my head on the pillow as a tall black woman came striding in. Her plaits were pulled back into a ponytail, revealing a face with high cheekbones and her eyes were a clear, bright gold. She smiled the kind of professional, compassionate smile people in her line of work needed to excel at.
“I want—” Feeling like an idiot, I looked helplessly at Kendra.
For a moment, Kendra just studied me and then she looked at the nurse. “I think she had a nightmare. Maybe about the wreck. She needs some water and she’d like to sit up. I didn’t know if she should…?”
“You can get up.” The nurse’s smile broadened as she moved in closer. With capable, quick motions, she checked my pulse, blood pressure and I grimaced when she flashed a bright light in my eyes. “The doctor’s orders are that you can get up if you want and move as much as you can tolerate. The more you move, the better you’ll feel, and the quicker you’ll regain your strength. We just want you to wait for assistance until we say otherwise, okay? Just in case.”
I nodded. “Just get me up. I have to…” I couldn’t find the words to express exactly what I needed.
“It’s okay.” She rested a hand on my shoulder. “You’ve had a rough few days.” She glanced over at Kendra. “Can you give us a few minutes?”
As Kendra left, the nurse called for an aide and within twenty minutes, I was sitting in a chair, wearing my own clothes—pajamas somebody had brought from home—with my hair brushed and my face washed.
I almost felt normal.
Almost.
“Make sure you drink lots of water over the next few days,” the nurse instructed.
“I will.” Focusing on my hands, I didn’t look at either of them as they gathered up dirty hospital gowns and trash and rags. And damn, a catheter. It was embarrassing as hell, I realized, being reliant on somebody for help. I hadn’t even been able to walk a few steps over to the chair without having somebody there to help steady me. I felt like I should have starred in one of those videos I’d seen when a baby animal
tries to walk for the first time.
“I’ll have a tray of food sent up. Some food, some water, rest…you’ll be getting your strength back before you know it.” My nurse patted my shoulder and slipped out, along with the aide.
They left the door open and when I heard the solid sound of shoes striking the floor, I looked up. My parents were there, along with my brother and sister. Edward and Kendra were behind them.
They came in and I managed a weak smile.
This…this would help.
Only it didn’t.
I managed to keep from crying until they left, but once they were gone, I started to cry and even when Edward put his arms around me, I couldn’t stop.
“I offered to help them out if they wanted to stay longer.” His breath warmed my neck as he spoke. “I think they wanted to accept, but…”
“The farm can’t run itself.” I sniffed and tried to stop the tears, but they just kept coming. “And Jennifer’s senior year starts in a couple days. Plus Jackson wants to get back to Amber...”
“Your dad said the same thing about the farm.” He rubbed a hand up and down my back. “I…Gabriella, they thanked me for flying them up here. I didn’t buy them tickets.”
When I stiffened, he slowly pulled back. My gaze fell away from his as he stared at me, but when he cupped my cheek, I had no choice but to look at him. I wouldn’t be that much of a coward. Not after everything else that had happened.
“Gabriella?”
“I…” Licking my lips, I shrugged. “They worry about me and money. They think I’m barely making it up here and they wouldn’t let me pay. So I told them it was a gift from you.”
His pale blue eyes were puzzled. “Why didn’t you just let me buy the tickets?”
“Because I had the money.” Or I did after the pictures.
The pictures.
Flynn.
Squeezing my eyes closed to banish the memory, I leaned against Edward and pressed my face into his neck. I didn’t want to think about Flynn, but there he was.
In the past two days since I’d woken up, mostly all I’d done was sleep and worry about Cody and talk to Edward, Kendra and my family, but now…I thought of how Flynn had shown up at the party, what he’d said, then Cody showing up.