“He detests her.”
She shook her head, then looked back out at the sunset, which was in its death throes over the horizon. “What a tangle.”
“What an understatement.”
“What a knot?” she offered, feeling very nautical.
She heard him let out a little snuff of amusement, and then he rose to his feet. She looked up; he was blotting out the last shafts of the sun. Indeed, he seemed to fill her entire vision.
“We could have been friends,” she heard herself say.
“Could?”
“Would,” she corrected, and she was smiling. It seemed the most amazing thing. How was it possible she had anything to smile about? “I think we would have been friends, if not for…If all this…”
“If everything were different?”
“Yes. No. Not everything. Just…some things.” She began to feel lighter. Happier. And she had not the slightest clue why. “Maybe if we’d met in London.”
“And we hadn’t been betrothed?”
She nodded. “And you hadn’t been a duke.”
His brows rose.
“Dukes are very intimidating,” she explained. “It would have been so much easier if you hadn’t been one.”
“And your mother had not been engaged to marry my uncle,” he added.
“If we’d just met.”
“No history between us.”
“None.”
His brows rose and he smiled. “If I’d seen you across a crowded room?”
“No, no, nothing like that.” She shook her head. He was not getting this at all. She wasn’t talking about romance. She couldn’t bear to even think of it. But friendship…that was something else entirely. “Something far more ordinary,” she said. “If you’d sat next to me on a bench.”
“Like this one?”
“Perhaps in a park.”
“Or a garden,” he murmured.
“You would sit down next to me—”
“And ask your opinion of Mercator projections.”
She laughed. “I would tell you that they are useful for navigation but that they distort area terribly.”
“I would think—how nice, a woman who does not hide her intelligence.”
“And I would think—how lovely, a man who does not assume I have none.”
He smiled. “We would have been friends.”
“Yes.” She closed her eyes. Just for a moment. Not for long enough to allow her to dream. “Yes, we would.”
He was quiet for a moment, and then he picked up her hand and kissed it. “You will make a spectacular duchess,” he said softly.
She tried to smile, but it was difficult; the lump in her throat was blocking her way.
Then, softly—but not so softly that she was not intended to hear—he said, “My only regret is that you never were mine.”
Chapter 16
The following day, at the Queen’s Arms, Dublin
Do you think,” Thomas murmured, leaning down to speak his words in Amelia’s ear, “that there are packets leaving directly from Dublin port, heading to the Outer Hebrides?”
She made a choking sound, followed by a very stern look, which amused him to no end. They were standing, along with the rest of their traveling party, in the front room of the Queen’s Arms, where Thomas’s secretary had arranged for their rooms on the way to Butlersbridge, the small village in County Cavan where Jack Audley had grown up. They had reached the port of Dublin in the late afternoon, but by the time they collected their belongings and made their way into town, it was well after dark. Thomas was tired and hungry, and he was fairly certain that Amelia, her father, Grace, and Jack were as well.
His grandmother, however, was having none of it.
“It is not too late!” she insisted, her shrill voice filling every corner of the room. They were now on minute three of her tantrum. Thomas suspected that the entire neighborhood had been made aware that she wished to press on toward Butlersbridge that evening.
“Ma’am,” Grace said, in that calm, soothing way of hers, “it is past seven. We are all tired and hungry, and the roads are dark and unknown to us.”
“Not to him,” the dowager snapped, jerking her head toward Jack.
“I am tired and hungry,” Jack snapped right back, “and thanks to you, I no longer travel the roads by moonlight.”
Thomas bit back a smile. He might actually grow to like this fellow.
“Don’t you wish to have this matter settled, once and for all?” the dowager demanded.
“Not really,” Jack answered. “Certainly not as much as I want a slice of shepherd’s pie and a tankard of ale.”
“Hear hear,” Thomas murmured, but only Amelia heard.
It was strange, but his mood had been improving the closer they got to their destination. He would have thought he’d grow more and more tortured; he was about to lose everything, after all, right down to his name. By his estimation, he ought to be snapping off heads by now.
But instead he felt almost cheerful.
Cheerful. It was the damnedest thing. He’d spent the entire morning on deck with Amelia, swapping tales and laughing uproariously. It had been enough to make his stomach forget to be seasick.
Thank the Lord, he thought, for very large favors. It had been a close thing, the night before—keeping the three bites he’d eaten of supper in his belly, where it belonged.
He wondered if his odd amiability was because he had already accepted that Jack was the rightful duke. Once he had stopped fighting that, he just wanted to get the whole bloody mess over and done with. The waiting, truly, was the hardest part.
He’d gotten his affairs in order. He’d done everything required for a smooth transition. All that was left was to get it done. And then he could go off and do whatever it was he would have done had he not been tied to Belgrave.
Somewhere in the midst of his ponderings he realized that Jack was leaving, presumably to get that slice of shepherd’s pie. “I do believe he has the right idea of it,” Thomas murmured. “Supper sounds infinitely more appealing than a night on the roads.”
His grandmother whipped her head around and glared at him.
“Not,” Thomas added, “that I am attempting to delay the inevitable. Even soon-to-be-dispossessed dukes get hungry.”
Lord Crowland laughed aloud at that. “He has you there, Augusta,” he said jovially, and he wandered off to the taproom.
“I shall take my supper in my room,” the dowager announced. Or really, it was more of a bark. “Miss Eversleigh, you may attend to me.”
Grace sighed wearily and started to follow.
“No,” Thomas said.
“No?” the dowager echoed.
Thomas allowed himself a small smile. He truly had got all of his affairs in order. “Grace will dine with us,” he told his grandmother. “In the dining room.”
“She is my companion,” the dowager hissed.
Oh, he was enjoying this. Far more than he’d thought. “Not anymore.” He smiled genially at Grace, who was staring at him as if he’d lost his mind. “As I have not yet been removed from my position,” he said, “I took the liberty of making a few last minute provisions.”
“What the devil are you talking about?” the dowager demanded.
He ignored her. “Grace,” he said, “you are officially relieved of your duties to my grandmother. When you return home, you will find a cottage deeded in your name, along with funds enough to provide an income for the rest of your life.”
“Are you mad?” the dowager sputtered.
Grace just stared at him in shock.
“I should have done it long ago,” he said. “I was too selfish. I couldn’t bear the thought of living with her”—he jerked his head toward his grandmother—“without you there to act as a buffer.”
“I don’t know what to say,” Grace whispered.
He shrugged modestly. “Normally, I’d advise ‘Thank you,’ but as I am the one thanking you, a mere ‘You are a pri
nce among men’ would suffice.”
Grace managed a wobbly smile and whispered, “You are a prince among men.”
“It is always lovely to hear it,” Thomas said. “Now, would you care to join the rest of us for supper?”
Grace turned toward the dowager, who was red-faced with rage.
“You grasping little whore,” she spat. “Do you think I don’t know what you are? Do you think I would allow you in my home again?”
Thomas was about to intercede, but then he realized that Grace was handling the situation with far more aplomb than he could ever have managed.
Her face calm and impassive, she said, “I was about to say that I would offer you my assistance for the rest of the journey, since I would never dream of leaving a post without giving proper and courteous notice, but I believe I have reconsidered.” She turned to Amelia. “May I share your room this evening?”
“Of course,” Amelia replied promptly. She linked her arm through Grace’s. “Let us have some supper.”
It was a magnificent exit, Thomas decided as he followed them, even if he could not see his grandmother’s face. But he could well imagine it, red and sputtering. A cooler clime would do her good. Truly. He would have to take it up with the new duke.
“That was magnificent!” Amelia gushed, once they’d entered the dining room. “Oh, my goodness, Grace, you must be so thrilled.”
Grace looked dazed. “I hardly know what to say.”
“You needn’t say anything,” Thomas told her. “Just enjoy your supper.”
“Oh, I shall.” She turned to Amelia, looking as if she might burst out laughing at any moment. “I suspect this shall be the finest shepherd’s pie I have ever tasted.”
And then she did burst out laughing. They all did. They had their supper, the three of them, and they laughed and laughed and laughed.
And as Thomas drifted off to sleep that night, his ribs still aching from the laughter, it occurred to him that he could not recall a finer evening.
Amelia had enjoyed herself at supper as well. So much so, in fact, that the tension of the following morning hit her like a slap. She thought she’d risen early; Grace was still sleeping soundly when she slipped from the room to find breakfast. But when she reached the inn’s private dining room, her father was already there, as was the dowager. There was no sneaking away; they had both seen her instantly, and besides, she was famished.
She supposed she could put up with her father’s lectures (they had been coming with increasing frequency) and the dowager’s venom (this had always been frequent) if it meant she could partake of whatever it was creating that heavenly, eggy aroma coming from the sideboard.
Eggs, probably.
She smiled. At least she could still amuse herself. That had to count for something.
“Good morning, Amelia,” her father said as she sat down with her plate.
She dipped her chin in polite greeting. “Father.” She then glanced over at the dowager. “Your grace.”
The dowager pursed her lips and made a noise, but other than that did not acknowledge her.
“Did you sleep well?” her father inquired.
“Very well, thank you,” she replied, though it was not quite true. She and Grace had shared a bed, and Grace moved around a lot.
“We depart in half an hour,” the dowager said crisply.
Amelia had managed to fork one bite of eggs into her mouth, and took advantage of the time it took to chew to glance over at the doorway, which remained empty. “I don’t think the others will be ready. Grace is still—”
“She is of no concern.”
“You can’t go anywhere without the two dukes,” Lord Crowland pointed out.
“Is that supposed to be funny?” the dowager demanded.
Lord Crowland shrugged. “How else am I meant to refer to them?”
Amelia knew she ought to have been outraged. It was a most cavalier statement, all things considered. But her father was so offhand, and the dowager so offended—she decided it made far more sense to be amused.
“Sometimes I do not know why I work so hard to advance your entry into my family,” the dowager said to Amelia, giving her a scathing glare.
Amelia swallowed, wishing she had a retort, because for once she rather thought she’d have been brave enough to say it. But nothing came to mind, at least nothing as fabulously cutting and witty as she would have liked, and so she clamped her mouth shut and stared at a spot on the wall over the dowager’s shoulder.
“There is no call for such talk, Augusta,” Lord Crowland said. And then, as she glared at him for his use of her name—he was one of the few who did, and it always infuriated her—he added, “A less equable man than I might take insult.”
Fortunately, the chilly moment was broken by Thomas’s arrival. “Good morning,” he said smoothly, taking his seat at the table. He seemed not at all perturbed that no one returned his greeting. Amelia supposed that her father was too busy attempting to put the dowager in her place, and the dowager—well, she rarely returned anyone’s greeting, so this was hardly out of character.
As for herself, she would have liked to have said something. Really, it was all very lovely now, not feeling so cowed in Thomas’s presence. But when he sat—directly across from her—she’d looked up, and he’d looked up, and—
It wasn’t that she was intimidated, exactly. It was just that she seemed to have forgotten how to breathe.
His eyes were that blue.
Except for the stripe, of course. She loved that stripe. She loved that he thought it was silly.
“Lady Amelia,” he murmured.
She nodded her greeting, managing, “Duke,” since your grace contained far too many syllables.
“I am leaving,” the dowager abruptly announced, her chair scraping angrily across the floor as she rose to her feet. She waited a moment, as if expecting someone to comment upon her departure. When no one did (really, Amelia thought, did she honestly think anyone would attempt to stop her?) the dowager added, “We depart in thirty minutes.” Then she turned the full force of her glare on her. “You will ride with me in the carriage.”
Amelia wasn’t sure why the dowager felt the need to announce it. She’d been stuck with the dowager in the carriage across England; why should Ireland be any different? Still, something about her tone turned the stomach, and as soon as the dowager was gone, she let out a weary sigh.
“I think I might be seasick,” she said, allowing herself to slump.
Her father gave her an impatient look, then rose to refill his plate. But Thomas smiled. It was mostly with his eyes, but still, she felt a kinship, warm and lovely, and perhaps enough to banish the feeling of dread that was beginning to pool in her heart.
“Seasick on land?” he murmured, his eyes smiling.
“My stomach feels sour.”
“Turning?”
“Flipping,” she affirmed.
“Strange, that,” he said dryly, popping a piece of bacon into his mouth and finishing off the bite before continuing. “My grandmother is capable of many things—I cannot imagine that plague, famine, or pestilence would be beyond her abilities. But seasickness…” He chuckled. “I’m almost impressed.”
Amelia sighed, looking down at her food, which was now only slightly more appetizing than a plate of worms. She pushed it away. “Do you know how long it will take to get to Butlersbridge?”
“Most of the day, I should think, especially if we stop for lunch.”
Amelia glanced at the door through which the dowager had just exited. “She won’t want to.”
Thomas shrugged. “She won’t have a choice.”
Amelia’s father returned to the table just then, his plate heaping full. “When you become duchess,” he said to her, rolling his eyes as he sat, “your first order should be to banish her to the dower house.”
When she became duchess. Amelia swallowed uncomfortably. It was still just awful, her own father so blithe about her future. He tru
ly did not care which of the two men she married, so long as he was proven to be the rightful duke.
She looked at Thomas. He was busy eating. So she kept her eyes on him. And waited, and waited…until he finally noticed her attention and met her gaze. He gave a little shrug, which she was unable to interpret.
Somehow that made her feel even worse.
Mr. Audley was the next to arrive for breakfast, followed about ten minutes later by Grace, who appeared to have rushed down, all pink-cheeked and breathless.
“Is the food not to your liking?” Grace asked her, looking down at Amelia’s barely touched plate as she took the seat recently vacated by the dowager.
“I’m not hungry,” Amelia said, even as her stomach rumbled. There was a difference, she was coming to realize, between hunger and appetite. The former she had, the latter not at all.
Grace gave her a quizzical look, then ate her own breakfast, or at least as much of it as she could in the three minutes before the innkeeper arrived, looking somewhat pained.
“Er, her grace…” he began, wringing his hands. “She is in the carriage.”
“Presumably abusing your men?” Thomas queried.
The innkeeper nodded miserably.
“Grace has not finished her meal,” Mr. Audley said coolly.
“Please,” Grace insisted, “let us not delay on my account. I’m quite satisfied. I—”
She coughed then, looking terribly embarrassed, and Amelia had the singular sensation of having been left out of a joke.
“I overfilled my dish,” Grace finally finished, motioning toward her plate, which was still well over half full.
“Are you certain?” Thomas asked her. She nodded, but Amelia noticed that she shoveled several more forkfuls into her mouth as everyone rose to their feet.
The men went ahead to see to the horses, and Amelia waited while Grace wolfed down a bit more.
“Hungry?” she asked, now that it was just the two of them.
“Starving,” Grace confirmed. She wiped her mouth with her serviette and followed Amelia out. “I didn’t want to provoke the dowager.”
Amelia turned, raising her brows.
“Further,” Grace clarified, since they both knew that the dowager was always acting provoked about something or other. And sure enough, when they reached the carriage, the dowager was snapping away about this and that, apparently unsatisfied with the temperature of the hot brick that had been placed at her feet in the carriage.