Roseline sits with her hands in her lap, refusing to meet Gabriel’s intense stare. The sporadic heavy sighing from the driver’s seat is enough to portray his frustration. “Jimmy’s again?” he asks, his voice unnaturally void of emotion.
They have spoken very little to each other after being kicked out of the aquarium with a stern warning not to return. What is there to say? The connection between them is undeniable and, if anything, it is strengthening. This is too confusing. Only Roseline understands the why but the how is remaining annoyingly elusive.
She shrugs, not trusting her voice. No doubt, it will waver at the worst moment and betray her sadness. That will only make this harder.
Buildings slide past as Gabriel weaves through Chicago. They hit the interstate at a breakneck pace that doesn’t end until he slams on the brakes in the bar’s parking lot. The engine continues to purr but Gabriel doesn’t reach to turn it off. He just sits, waiting.
Roseline knows she has to leave. The thought of uprooting her life again is too painful to even consider. Leaving Sadie and William behind is agonizing but the thought of severing all contact with Gabriel is unbearable. Her stomach twists at the thought of it, but what choice does she have? If she stays, his life will be forfeit. She can’t let that happen.
She dips her head. It feels like someone has ripped out her heart and stuck it on the end of a blunt stake for all to see, bleeding and mortally wounded but unable to die.
No. Not someone. She has done this to herself. It is a choice that must be made and she must be strong enough to follow through with it, but she can’t even begin to know how.
“Thanks for the ride,” she whispers, holding the door handle as if it were the only lifeline to the life she wishes she could embrace. She can’t seem to force her legs to work.
“Anytime,” he replies. “See you tomorrow, bright and early.”
She grimaces at the thread of excitement lining his voice. “I really don’t think it is a good idea for you to meet me at Sadie’s car tomorrow. It will just fuel the gossip.” She hides her bitter smile, knowing that the whispers would not be too far from the truth. She did make out with him. Painfully brief or not, it is still the best kiss of her entire existence.
“Not the car.” He turns to look at her. “The library. Did you forget?”
“You still want to meet there after what happened this morning?”
He reaches across the center console to pull her hand into his. His fingers twine with hers. She closes her eyes to the sight, wishing she could take a snapshot of this moment, of his touch, to carry with her. “Nothing has changed, Rose.”
Her eyes fly open wide as her head whips up. She stares back at him, eyes wide with disbelief. “You’re wrong. Everything has changed.”
A tremor begins in her hands and works its way through her body. She finds herself standing on the edge of apprehension, teetering precariously toward full-blown panic. Her chest rises and falls rapidly. She pulls her hand out of his grasp. “We can’t be together.”
“Why not?” he presses, refusing to let her have a second to think. “Because it’s too intense for you? Are you scared of what might happen if you get too close to me?”
Roseline nods. Her hair falls in shifting waves of bronze over her face, concealing her tears. “Yes.”
“Huh,” he mutters. “Okay. I wasn’t expecting a straight-out admission.”
Roseline groans, burying her head in her hands. Why does this have to be so complicated? If she were normal, or he was immortal, then maybe it could have worked, but she isn’t and neither is he. Fate is just not that kind.
When she was planning a life without Vladimir, she never dreamed that she would meet someone else. Why would she? The emotional scars run deep. So deep that only Fane can handle them, or so she thought.
How can she explain how insane the idea of building a relationship would be? Even if she could find the right words, he will think she is crazy, or worse, bound for a mental institute, and rightfully so. Humans are not meant to know about her world.
She draws in a small steadying breath. “There’s a lot that you don’t know about me. My past is…complicated. I can’t drag you into it.”
“Are you in trouble?” Gabriel’s eyes darken, like rain clouds on a summer day.
She wants to lie, to tell him that he is way off base, but her emotions are too raw. He will see through her lie in an instant. “There was this guy…he was very abusive and that’s why I had to leave. I thought I could run from him, but it was a fool’s dream. Sooner or later he will find me, and when he does he will hurt anyone around me. I can’t risk him finding out about you.”
There, that was the truth. Albeit it a watered-down version, but still true.
Images of Gabriel’s face, contorted with pain at the hands of Vladimir, helps to firm her resolve. “I’m so sorry,” she says, turning to stare out the window at the empty parking lot. Broken beer bottles and cigarette butts litter the cracked pavement. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“Don’t do that,” he says, tugging at her arm until she turns to face him. The hardness in his eyes softens as tears trail down her cheeks. “I’m not giving up on us and you can’t either.”
Roseline yanks on the door handle and shoves the door open. She hesitates on the edge of the seat, unable to look back at him. “I don’t have that luxury.”
She snatches her bag from the backseat and hops out of the car. With a shove hard enough to rock the door on its hinges, Roseline rushes away. The sound of her name being shouted into the wind reaches her. She doesn’t stop, doesn’t turn back.
“Goodbye,” she whispers as she leaps over the chain-link fence at the back of the bar and sprints out of sight.
Eighteen