"Some shit went down with my sister and my ex a while back. They got together behind my back and now they're getting married," I said, unloading it all. Something told me she not only could take it, but she wanted to. As much as I loved Jimmy, sometimes a girl just needed a female friend to talk things out with.
Ev's mouth formed a perfect O. "Crap."
"Yeah, pretty horrible. I think my confidence took a dive, you know?"
"I bet." She tugged on her elegant blonde plait, eyes thoughtful. "How are you and your sister getting along now?"
"She says she's sorry. She wants me to go home for the wedding and step in for a bridesmaid who bolted."
"Huh." Ev huffed out a breath. "That's a pretty big ask."
"Yes, it is." I laughed despite the situation being distinctly unfunny.
"You going?"
"I haven't decided yet. I don't want to leave Jimmy or subject myself to that, but weddings are a big deal. If I went, I'd be taking the high road. And all of the family will be there. I've stayed away for the last year or so, and they're all fired up for me to show my face at least. Though I think my actually ever being a bridesmaid is right out of the god damn question."
She didn't say anything at first, just looked at me. "Lena, is this wedding going to cut you? Or is it just going to be a shitty thing to sit through, have a few drinks, smile at the right people, and then get the hell out of there the minute you can?"
"The latter I think." I sighed. "I think I'll feel better in the end if I go. It'll give me some closure."
"Then go. Jimmy will be okay for a couple of days."
True, but the chances of me not getting all heart-down and despondent away from him weren't good. Not that it mattered.
Me and him sitting kissing in a tree wasn't what he wanted. Not in any permanent way anyhow.
I wasn't what he wanted. He'd said it so many times, in so many different ways. It seemed only now however that my heart was truly taking it in, letting go. Our time together would come to an end. I couldn't stop loving him, and he refused to start. That was the cold hard truth.
I needed to enjoy the here and now. Take what I could get, while I could get it.
Eventually, things would get problematic and I'd be leaving, just like I'd planned to right back at the start.
"Thanks, Ev."
She smiled. "You're one of us, Lena. Any time."
"Hey." The deep familiar voice came from directly behind me, making me jump.
I hadn't noticed him get up at all. "Jimmy. Hey."
"Lena, can I talk to you for a minute?"
"All right."
A speculative sort of look came into Ev's eyes. "I have to do something in the kitchen. Now."
"Right." I shook my head. The woman was subtle as a sledgehammer.
"What would you like to talk about?"
"Not here. C'mon." Jimmy put a hand to my lower back, guiding me toward the bathroom.
I did as bid. But if he thought he was getting sex after his shitty hookup comments today, he was sadly mistaken.
He closed the door. It was a nice bathroom as these things went. Shiny gray stone surfaces, a huge well-lit mirror and lots of chrome.
"What's up?" I asked, taking a step back from him and crossing my arms.
"Been thinking about your sister's wedding and stuff."
I frowned. "And?"
"And I did some research." He pushed back his hair, smoothed down the front of his shirt. If I didn't know better I'd have said he was nervous. Only Jimmy didn't get nervous, certainly not because of me. "Your hometown doesn't have anywhere decent to stay, so all I could book you was a room at the motel. But I got you first class tickets there and back and a rental car, the same kind of Mercedes as I've got so you'll be comfortable driving it. That'll be waiting for you at the airport. But I can just as easily organize a chauffeur for you if you'd prefer. Wasn't sure what you'd want."
I pushed up my glasses, my mind blown. "You organized all that?"
"Yeah. And the girl at the motel, she said they have a small restaurant attached but I checked it out online and it looked like shit to me. I don't want you get food poisoning or something, so I'm gonna get the restaurant that does home to fly stuff in. Getting some decent sheets sent too. She said theirs were only poly-cotton." His curled lip expressed clearly what he thought of such a thing. Like sleeping on anything less than Egyptian cotton might mean be the death of me. Crap, he was cute.
"And I told Sam to organize security since we've still got some paparazzi hanging around. Just in case. They'll be discreet, I promise."
"Jimmy, I can't take security to my sister's wedding."
"You sure?"
"Yeah." I smiled.
"Fine. But it also occurred to me you might need a dress or stuff so my stylist is on top of that," he announced. "I described you and sent her your measurements. Don't worry, she'll send up a couple of things for you try."
"She will, huh?"
"A bit of a mix so you can choose for yourself. I told her not to forget shoes and shit too."
"You've thought of everything." I cocked my head. "But how did you know my measurements?"
He stopped. "Lena, I've had my hands all over you a couple of times now. I know your body. I'm not gonna forget it anytime soon."
"Oh."
"I'm not presuming, I swear," he said, eyes sincere. "If you decide not to go, that's fine. Not a problem. But I wanted everything in place for you just in case."
"You did all this? For me?"
One thick shoulder lifted.
"Just this afternoon?"
"Ev helped," he admitted. "I know you probably haven't seen your family for a while. As someone smart once said to me, family's important."
He leaned back against the bathroom counter, watching me. "Didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I know you think this is me trying to buy my way out of trouble, but it's not. I would have done this anyway. I just want the best for you, 'cause that's what you deserve."
My eyes went disturbingly liquid. I blinked repeatedly, sniffling ever so slightly.
He groaned. "Lena, do not cry. That's not okay."
"I'm not. I wouldn't dare."
"You think I don't care about you. But I do. If you still me want to come with you, then that's cool." He winced. "I mean, I'd like that. Whatever you want, okay?"
"Okay." I stared at him in wonder, staggered, my heart and mind struggling to keep up with it all. "Thank you, Jimmy."
He just watched me warily, unmoving. So I moved instead, straight into his arms. Without hesitation, he crushed me against his chest.
"Don't hate me, Lena," he whispered. "You want to be mad at me when I do dumb things, that's fine. But don't ever hate me. I couldn't take that, not from you."
I put my hand to his cheek, undone by the rawness of his voice, his apparent vulnerability. "Hey. I could never hate you."
"Promise."
"I promise." And it was true. He made me frustrated and angry all the damn time. There was no chance I could never ever bring myself to hate him, however. I cradled his face in my hands. He was so precious to me, yet he sounded so alone, lost and scared like a child. "That will never happen."
Jimmy shut his eyes and exhaled hard. He rubbed his stubbled cheek against my hand, gently scratching the palm, making my skin tingle. I stretched up on tippy toes and he fit his firm lips to mine. His tongue slipped into my mouth, seeking out mine. Christ, he'd gotten good at this fast. The taste of him, the familiar feel of his body against mine, it was all so perfect.
He felt like home.
He kissed me slow and wet in what could only be described as a full-out frontal sensual assault. His mouth conquered in the best possible way. All of his worry just fueled the hunger, I think, he seemed insatiable. His hands slid over me, stroking my face and neck, touching every part of me. My skin came alive beneath his fingers. No other man had ever made me feel this wanted, this adored. Sure as hell, none had ever called to me the way he did, body and
soul.
"You forgive me?" he asked, trailing hot kisses down my neck.
"Yes. But don't do it again. And don't stop kissing me."
"Got it. Let me apologize to you properly. Let me kiss you between the legs." Strong hands cupped my ass, pressing me against his erection. "I wanna lick you, Lena."
"You like doing that, don't you?" I asked, a little amazed. Past boyfriends had not rated the experience highly.
"Fuck yes. I love having you squirming against my face, rubbing your pussy on me."
"God." The hard stiff length of him pressed into my abdomen, urging me on. But it was his words that made my blood surge.
"The smell of you, the taste of you, I love everything about eating you," he breathed.
"No more." I covered his mouth with my hand, squeezing my legs tight together. The state of my panties was a disgrace. He'd make me slick and needy without even touching me below the waist. The man was on a sexual rampage, out of control. Or I might be, it was hard to tell. Either way, he had to be stopped. "Someone might hear."
He escaped my hand, dimples flashing. "No one's hearing anything. This place has excellent soundproofing. How do you think Dave and Ev manage to fuck during parties? Thick walls. Don't worry."
"Just in case."
His eyes narrowed. "Are you wet for me, Lena? Is your pretty pussy getting ready for my mouth? I'm damn hungry. You're coming more than once for me tonight."
My face burned hotter than a grill and between my legs throbbed.
"I knew it. You like me talking dirty," he said, teeth nipping at my collarbone before his tongue lapped over it. The big animal.
"No I don't. You're making that up."
"You're practically vibrating with excitement. You love it." His laughter was diabolical, his breath hot on my skin. "Ah, Lena. Do I have some filthy things I need to say to you."
I hid my face in his neck, giving him my own love bite or two. Man, his skin tasted good. Salt and the warmth that was Jimmy. And he smelled even better. His fingers sunk into my ass, holding on tight. The seemingly ever-ready presence of his hard-on more than made itself known, poking into my stomach. If it got any harder he might hurt himself.
"Tell me, Lena. How wet are your panties?"
I would impart that knowledge over my dead body. Or a mild bit of erotic wrestling. Most likely the latter. But it should be noted, two could play at this game, and playing with him was about as fun as it got. He might be currently in the lead, but I wasn't so far behind.
"You feel so hard, Jimmy."
"Do I now?" he asked, tugging on my hair just a little. Enough to light up all of the nerve ending on my scalp.
I gasped.
"I love the noises you make," he said. "I wonder how you'll sound when I bite your sweet peach of an ass. It really is fucking magnificent, Lena. Of course, I'll finger your gorgeous pussy when I do it. Wouldn't want it to feel neglected."
"That's sweet of you." I slipped my hand between us, grasping his huge cock. "Would you like me to lick this, Jimmy? Of course I'm happy to suck it as well."
"Are you now?"
"We haven't done that yet."
He pressed his forehead against mine. "No, we haven't. And you do have a beautiful mouth."
I set my hands against his stomach and pushed, taking a step back. His arms fell from around me.
"Right now?" he asked.
"What could be more romantic?" I smiled.
He out and out grinned. "I don't know a shitload about romance. But I'd have to be a god damn idiot to turn down a blow job from you. But are you sure?"
"Yes."
Thick, fluffy white towels hung on the railing. I pulled one down, folded it and threw it at his feet.
His gaze moved between me and the towel. "You sure, you're sure?"
"Very." I pulled down another towel and tossed it on top of the first.
I got down on my knees.
His pupils seemed to have doubled in size almost. "Lena."
"Yeah?" My hand traveled up his legs, over his firm thighs. I undid his belt buckle, tore into the button and zipper of his jeans.
"Forgot what I was going to say ..."
"Never mind. I like that you go commando." I took him in hand. Christ, he felt hot, so wonderfully warm. The skin was velvety soft, the broad head darkening to red. He filled my grip in a great way.
His hands fisted at his sides.
"And I really like your dick, Jimmy."
"Christ."
"I mean, seriously like it." My thumb smoothed over the eye of his penis, teasing just so. His thigh muscles twitched. "But I like you as a whole even more."
He tensed. "Thank you."
"Anytime." I smiled. "You want my glasses on or off for this?"
"On," he answered instantly.
"Okay, but no cum on the lenses, that's not cool. Understood?"
A muscle jumped in his jaw.
"All right, then."
I dragged the flat of my tongue across the head of his cock, collecting a bead of salty cum for my trouble. Yummy. Give me more. Normally, sperm didn't set my world on fire, but anything this man's body made for me was to be savored.
Such was the absolute lunacy of my love for him.
I wanted to make him feel as adored and wanted as he did me. To chase the doubt from his eyes and give him nothing but pleasure.
I took him into my mouth, sucking before laving the underside with my tongue. All due care was given to the sweet spot. I massaged it with the tip of my tongue until he swore quite profusely, his hips kicking forward. My spare hand cupped his balls, rolling them gently, the skin so soft and delicate. His hard flesh stretched my jaw, filled my mouth, and the musky scent of him was all I could smell. I took him in as deep as I could, working him with tongue, teeth, and lips. My hand stroked the rest of him, keeping all of him occupied. Careful of my teeth, I drew back, then forged forward again.
"Fuck, Lena." His heavy balls drew up closer to his body. "Feels so fucking nice."
And he'd used a word I just had to question. His dick came free of mouth with a faint popping sound.
"Nice?" I asked, curling my swollen lips into a smile.
He watched me through hooded lids. "Very nice."
I fit my lips around the head once more, sucking hard. His hips bucked in response. It was time to finish him off. The muscles in his stomach tensed, his legs went rigid. I sucked with all my might, hollowing my cheeks and taking him deep.
"God damn it, Lena." Various growling and snarling noises came above me. He was such an animal.
Hot bitter salty cum filled my mouth and throat. I swallowed fast, taking it all. It never even crossed my mind to spit ... this was Jimmy. He came and he came as I worked him down gently, stroking his cock and rubbing his balls, cherishing him. His whole body slumped and he panted for air. My work here was done. The man was decimated.
"Help me up," I said, tugging on his jeans. His eyes slowly blinked open and he held out a hand to me. I took it, letting him doing the heaving lifting involved in pulling me back up onto my feet. "Thanks."
An arm shot out, wrapping around my neck, pulling me in against him. His whole body trembled.
"You okay?" I asked.
A nod.
"Feeling a little emotional, huh?" I petted his hair. "That's okay. It was an emotional blow job."
He snorted.
I gave him a squeeze. "I'm glad you enjoyed it."
"I'm clean, Lena," he said, face pressed into my neck. "Got tested, everything came up negative, okay?"
"Oh, yeah, I swallowed. Didn't even think about that."
The arms of steel around me didn't falter. "I liked that you swallowed."
Warm damp lips rubbed against my neck. Such affection from him, I'd never known the likes of it. My head swam with joy and the most disturbing words rose up and up inside of me until they stuck in my throat. And still they pushed and shoved their way out of me with such thoughtless dumb-ass intent. I tried to stop them because I
knew better, I really did. But they spewed forth from my tortured lovelorn soul while my brain watched on in complete and utter horror.
"I love you, Jimmy."
Silence.
Absolute, dead silence.
The man in my arms snap froze, even his breathing faltered.
"I mean, not that it's a big deal or anything." My mouth, I wanted to kill it slowly and painfully in many and varied ways. We'd been in a good place, in the moment, and I had to go and wreck it, pressing for more. "You don't have to say anything. In fact you shouldn't, it would be better if you didn't, and we'll just carry on exactly as we were and pretend this never even happened, okay? Because we're doing great, just fine, and I really don't want anything to change."
Hands gripped my arms and forcibly removed me from him. Every instinct in me said duck and cover, run. Whatever happens, I should not look at his face. Because it was pale and drawn, and his eyes were vaguely terrified. "You love me?"
"Jimmy ..."
He looked at me like I was foreign to him, unknown and unwanted in every way that mattered.
"Lena, I can't ... I don't ..."
"No, I know." Right then, I was dead in all the ways that mattered. My lungs just hadn't figured it out yet.
From down below came yipping and barking. Little nails scrabbled at my black stockings, shredding them beyond repair. He must have been snoozing under the counter and gotten woken up with Jimmy's yelling.
"Hey, Killer." I picked up the small bundle of black-and-white terror. He was the perfect distraction to my strung-out heart. "I didn't see you in here. Where were you hiding?"
"We better go back out." Jimmy studied the far wall with great ardor. I guess anything was better than looking at me and my messy, out-there emotions. Such an embarrassment.
"Yeah. I guess so." I led the way back out, same as I'd led him into my emotional blow job trap in the first place. Women were the worst. Killer's wet little nose rubbed at my chin.
"Son," Mal called to dog in greeting. He was still chatting with Anne and Lizzy on the sofa. "I was wondering where you'd gotten to."
"Found him snoozing in the bathroom." I handed the fur baby over to his daddy.
Mal's green eyes narrowed. "Your lips are unnaturally puffy and your lipstick is all worn away. What the hell were you two doing in the bathroom within sight of my firstborn child?"
"Nothing," I said, backing up a step. This was the last damn thing I needed.
He held the pup in front of his face. "Killer, tell daddy where the bad people touched you."