***
“Now try again, Hanul,” said Tej from across the small grove. Theo nodded mostly to himself, took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He began to concentrate. His face at first appeared to be calm, yet there were stern, sharp shadows lining it within a few moments. A vein on his head began to throb; then another down his neck.
Theo started trembling visibly; his whole body shook with mounting tremors. His face became flush-red, his breathing had practically stopped; he gave the impression he was about to explode.
“I can’t!” cried Theo with a feeling of immense relief, panting thoroughly, yet breathing once more.
Tej wasn’t looking at him. He was checking up on some of his bee hives, built on corners and crevices all over the old hollowed-out root system that had been turned into a network of corridors, hallways and storage space for what Tejwel called his “Grotto of Solitude”.
“Believing is everything, Hanul. Try again,” said the bear and licked a paw dripping with glowing honey. Small droplets flew in the air and fell away from Tej and Theo, flying not towards the ground but all along the length of a corridor that led to the void of space. Theo sighed, breathed deeply once more and concentrated again, this time with steely-eyed determination. Tej paused and shot a wary look around him; he had noticed the breeze was blowing in the wrong way. In truth, there was no wrong or right way down there.
Things worked in a very peculiar manner so very near the root of the giant oak, which Tej referred to as the Khidr. Water would sometimes freeze without it being cold. At other times, the heat would turn the small reclusive garden into a steamy jungle and at times everything would float in the air, especially the glowbees. They formed a cloud of light as they helplessly tried to find which way was up and which was down.
“I just can’t Tejwel,” said Theo panting with bulging eyes, tears welling up in his eyes from the strain of his last effort. No matter how much he tried, the heavy barrel of clay filled with glowhoney hadn’t budged an inch.
“Maybe I’m wrong,” said Tej and licked another honey-laden finger with delight, his enormous face squirming reflexively. Theo was sitting on the grassy floor, his legs crossed in what felt like a knot at first. Exactly in front of him sat a huge, immovable barrel made of clay, filled with last year’s glowhoney. Theo looked morose at best.
“Maybe. I hope you’re not,” said Theo and Tej replied as if he hadn’t been paying attention.
“But I think something is holding you back,” said the bear and stood in front of the beehive, breathing heavily. Theo opened his eyes and saw Tej was very preoccupied with tending to a very particular beehive.
“What could that be?” asked Theo without expecting for an answer that could be immediately understood. A few hours of meditation and friendly talk that made little or no sense had proved that Theo had some sort of natural aptitude in what Tej called Rho. At least, that’s what Tej thought.
“A barrier!” cried the giant bear with dramatic tension in his voice, only to finally give in and have a go at the bee hive with both paws, his massive teeth tearing it apart, consuming the glowhoney and the wax without a care. Swarms of bees escaped into neighboring hives, honey splattered the walls and whole hexagonal chunks of wax fell like debris towards space. Theo couldn’t stop staring; it was as if something base had suddenly possessed the usually benevolent and kind ursine creature.
“Pray you find another home, friends,” said Tej and burped loudly. He then sent the small cloud of glowbees hovering about him away with a wave of his paw. He turned around and slowly walked towards Theo with his eyes closed; a perfect serenity covered his face. He sat down on the grassy floor next to Theo and sighed. A couple of minutes passed with nothing but the humming of the ever-present glowbees in the background to fill the silence. Tej simply sat there, breathing heavily.
“Is something wrong?” inquired Theo. He allowed for a few moments; Tej usually took his time to provide what was supposed to be an answer, but Tej made no sound other than a thin, low, rumble. Theo leaned closer to the large mammal; the rumbling sound was coming from Tej’s stomach. On closer inspection, better yet, it seemed like the great bear was snoring heavily, soundly asleep like a disropoptionately sized baby. Theo didn’t know what to make of it.
“Are you sleeping?” he got up and asked right into Tej’s ear.
“It was one hive! Just one!” cried out the bear in anguish, shaking as if the nightmares stalked him in his wake still. Theo felt he should allay Tej’s fears.
“That’s fine, Tejwel. I myself would’ve been tempted to eat a whole glowhoney-laden beehive if I were your size. It certainly would appeal to me since it seems to be so easy. And sweet,” said Theo and nodded. Tejwel blinked fast only twice and realised he was awake once more. He felt his belly with both hands and looked at it as if something troubling was going to spew forth. At length he spoke:
“It is my weakness, my burden alone to carry. I sometimes lose control, I must confess. It is one of the reasons I still seek the end to my path.”
“I think a little nap isn’t that bad. It can be good for you, they say. I myself don’t sleep much,” said Theo sounding like a confused, mentally challenged person. Tejwel smiled keenly and looked at the rushing stream of water while he talked.
“I meant the honey, dear Hanul. Once upon a time, I would’ve done anything for honey. Now, it is thankfully a rare thing. But still, when my spirit is troubled, I have this almost unquenchable thirst: a strange, powerful urge overpowers me. I lose myself in a sweet madness,” said Tej, his huge paw covering half of Theo’s backside.
“And the sleep? Is it fretful because of the guilt?”
“No. That’s because I overeat. We shall speak of this another time. I have an inkling about why my spirit is so troubled; it must be the same reason you do not seem able to ride the Rho,” said Tej thoughtfully, his deep voice rumbling more than ever.
“About that Rho, it couldn’t by any chance be plain old magic? I’m supposed to be pretty good at magic, if not awesome by some accounts,” said Theo with a thin grin. Tejwel’s breath felt warm on Theo’s face; it was followed by an austere, disapproving voice that hinted at violence.
“Pride is death!” cried Tej and demanded Theo’s undivided attention before he went on:
“Pride is a sin sweet as many but deadlier than most. Heed my words Hanul, for I have walked the prideful path and it is barbed and full of honey.”
“Everyone loves honey though,” said Theo sounding genuinely disappointed.
“Exactly!”
“But what does that mean?” asked Theo fearing the discussion would soon dissolve into one of Tej’s cryptic monologues.
“You tell me, Hanul. What do you fear most? What is it that haunts you? What is it that makes the Rho flow around you?”
“It’s not honey, is it?” asked Theo knowing it couldn’t possibly be that simple, although it’d be nice for a change.
“Give me your hands, Hanul.”
“I’m afraid I’m rather attached to them,” he said looking at his palms.
“I mean, touch me,” said Tej calmly and extended his paws. Theo sounded a little unsure, a bit worried and rather disappointed.
“That doesn’t sound right Tej.”
“My paws. Touch my paws and free your mind friend.”
“I can do that,” said Theo in a relaxed fashion and did so.
“Now breathe.”
“I am breathing.”
“Breathe slowly. As if air is nothing,” said Tej and lifted his head as if gasping to breathe.
“Isn’t it?” inquired Theo with a troubled brow.
“Listen, Hanul. Listen to the wind blowing through this grove. Listen to the flutter of the winged bees.”
Theo did listen, or at least tried to. Tej’s voice was becoming more shallow with every breath of his.
“Now think of you, a few days before. What do you see with your mind’s eye?”
“Space.”
&nbs
p; “What else?”
“Not much. We were travelling in space for two weeks,” said Theo, nodding reassuredly to himself.
“Go back before that. What do you see?”
“My village.. It’s on fire.. My people, are gone.”
The elf’s voice had the first faint signs of cracking up.
“You are alone,” said Tej as if it were a discovery, not a statement.
“I have some new friends with me.”
“Go before that. Were you alone before that?” insisted the bear.
“No. I had the tribe.”
“Was the tribe enough?” said Tej, his voice beginning to sound forceful, demanding.
“No,” said Theo and shook his head from shoulder to shoulder.
“Who made you feel complete?”
“Bo? It must’ve been Bo.”
“Go back, before meeting Bo. What do you see?”
“Before Bo? I can’t remember anything before Bo,” said Theo, his voice wavering.
“Don’t think, Hanul. Go back. Breathe,” Tej urged him.
“I don’t remember. It was Bo, and me, and -”
“Yes?” there was urgency and purpose in the bear’s gravely voice.
“Father. I remember someone I called father,” said Theo without being sure of it.
“And Bo?”
“He’s not there. There’s another boy my age, more or less. But Bo’s not there,” said Theo agitated, nervous, as if someone had him on the run.
“Look deeper. Stop breathing,” said Tej with a commanding voice.
“What?” asked Theo perplexed.
“Stop breathing and listen to your mind’s eye!” said Tej with immense authority, his voice not unkind yet terrible to hear.
“That doesn’t make any sense!”
“Listen! See! Feel! Don’t breathe!” cried the bear, and Theo felt compelled to do all that. There was no other way.
“The boy’s long haired. I can only see his back. He’s crying, I think. And.. Blazes! It’s Bo!”
The realization struck Theo like a bolt in the chest. He wasn’t sure if he felt like crying out of happiness or sorrow.
“Yes?” Tej urged him for more.
“He’s turned into a rabbit! We’re brothers! Me and Bo, we’re brothers!”
“And what of the father?”
“For the father, nothing.”
A sudden, powerful vibration shook the grotto. It was as if the whole of Tallyflop shook along with it and changed direction; like a moment in time had been undone; like a huge clock had been set back only for the barest of moments.
“Now, you know,” said Tej with finality.
“I never thought, I.. I hadn’t imagined..”
“Now empty that barrel of honey,” said Tej and pointed the huge barrel of honey standing in the middle of the grove like an unwanted guest.
“What? I don’t think now is the time. I need to find the others. I need to find Bo,” said Theo and got up, started to pace around the grove. Behind him, the whole mass of glowhoney rose up from the barrel and dispersed itself into hundreds of different little streams, each finding its own path through Tej’s small maze and into an empty jar or vase to fill.
“The honey is where it’s supposed to be, Hanul,” said Tej smiling.
“What?” said Theo almost terrified.
“You ask the wrong questions out of fear. Fear not.”
“Why?” asked Theo. It was those sort of comments from Tej that he couldn’t help but try to understand however improbable it seemed.
“Exactly!”
“I don’t understand.”
Tej nodded appreciatively and his whole body shook along.
“Yet, you are more enlightened than ever.”
“Tej, I need to find my friends. I need to find my brother. Even though he is just a rabbit now.”
“A friend in need, is a friend indeed. Finding your friends should not be hard. Follow me,” said Tej and with implausible swiftness got off the grassy ground and set off towards one of many corridors.
“More tests?” asked Theo as he followed closely behind.
“This wasn’t a test, Hanul. This was your rebirth,” said Tej with a measure of triumph. Theo sounded a bit skeptical about rebirths.
“But it’s still me. Isn’t it?”
“It is. Now we’ll take the Elevator,” announced Tej and led Theo into someplace even deeper than he had thought possible.
“What elevator?”
“Capital ‘E’. There’s just the one Elevator in Khidr,” said Tej raising a paw and led Theo through twisting and turning parts of the giant oak, a blemish of light from glowbees guiding them downwards.