He ignored me, looking this way and that into the rooms as we passed. An office, a media room, a bathroom, and a room with nothing but a drum kit set up in it.
"Goddamn it," I said, nearly tripping over my two feet. "Let go of me. Stop!"
Finally, we reached a room he was apparently happy with. A bedroom. Having dragged me inside, he slammed the door shut before turning to face me. This happened at about the same time when I'd had more than enough. As fury blazed in his eyes, the palm of my hand smacked into his cheekbone. I honestly don't know who was more startled by the crack of sound, him or me. Either way, talk about a reaction.
That Zeny kid knew her stuff.
Hand stinging and breathing hard, I just stared. "If I say stop, you stop. You do not keep dragging me around like some sack of shit answerable to your highness. Is that clear?"
"My highness?"
I just shrugged. "You get what I mean."
He dragged the back of a hand across his mouth, eyes all ragey. The red blossoming on his cheek was quite the beauty. "What are you doing here?"
"Apologize for not listening to me."
"You're right, I should have stopped. I was angry, but that's no excuse. I'm sorry." His nostrils flared. "Now, what are you doing here?"
"Well, I was watching Nell and Pat get remarried. But apparently you decided we needed to have a chat and it couldn't wait."
"They invited you?"
"No, Joe. I just showed up because I thought it'd be funny to fuck with you," I said, thoroughly riled up by now. "Of course they invited me."
The man about-faced and started pacing. "They shouldn't have done that."
"Oh my God, are you kidding me?"
"What?"
"You don't own these people," I said. "Yes, they're your friends, but you don't make their decisions for them."
"Like a little loyalty wouldn't be too much to ask for. Though I guess you're the wrong person to be understanding that concept."
My mouth formed a perfect O.
"You left without saying a fucking word." He pointed at me in particularly aggressive fashion. Douchebag. "After everything we'd been through."
"You'd told me to go. Time and again, you told me in no uncertain terms," I said, not backing down. Not this time. "So when the time was right, I left."
"You said you'd have my back."
"And then your dad took over working with you. You didn't need me there anymore."
He huffed out a breath, hands on hips. "You couldn't even say goodbye?"
"You couldn't even tell Star we'd been involved with each other?"
"Goddamnit. You left because you were jealous?"
I sighed. No point going for anything less than total honesty. "That was one of the reasons, yes. Plus, you'd made it pretty clear that there wasn't room for me in your life right then. With your arm, and Eric and Nell dealing with the loss of their baby, and that idiot trying to sue you, it was all too much for you and I got that. I understood. Your life was crazy complicated just then. But I couldn't afford to put my world on hold any longer. Not once Eric came back to handle the bar and I knew your dad would start helping you with the renovations."
More pacing. "You thought I wouldn't understand that?"
"No. I knew I couldn't handle that," I said, my heart breaking all over again just from thinking the words. Let alone saying them. "I mean, I couldn't handle saying goodbye to you. Leaving here was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Okay?"
"So you took the coward's way out."
"Surprise," I yelled. "Hi, I'm Alex Parks. Nice to meet you. In case you haven't noticed, I happen to be one of the biggest scaredy-cat, angst-ridden idiots of our age. Not the most noble title, but hella true just the same."
Teeth gritted, he shook his head. "Fuck's sake."
I said nothing.
"If you're so damn frightened of everything, then what are you doing here?" he asked.
Good question. Very good question. Not one I really wanted to answer.
He leaned down, getting in my face. "Well?"
"I couldn't stay away, okay?" I cried. "You wouldn't answer my emails, and I needed to see you."
"Why?"
I looked to heaven. "Come on, Joe. Work with me here just a little. Why do you think?"
He held his hands out wide. "Little Miss Fucking Sunshine, I don't have a clue. You leave me without a goddamn word and now suddenly months later you're back and I'm supposed to just be cool with that?"
"So don't be cool with it," I said. "Be mad at me. Tell me to go back to Seattle, that you never want to see me again."
"Alex--"
I pushed at his flat belly with both hands. Guess he hadn't been expecting that, because he stumbled back a step. And if it worked so well once, then what the hell, let's go for it again. I pushed him until his back hit the door and both of us were wearing our fiercest faces.
"Tell me I mean nothing to you, that I never did," I said. "Go on. You were acting cold enough toward me before I left. It shouldn't be a reach for you. Give me some fucking closure."
He blinked, surprised or something, I don't know. When I went to push him again, however, he grabbed my wrists, holding on tight. "Stop it."
"Tell me I'm a shit friend and you don't want me as a lover anyway. Do it."
"That's enough."
"Break my heart one more time, Joe Collins. Come on," I jeered. "I'm good for it."
His mouth firmed. "What the hell are you talking about? How did I break your heart?"
"By not being ready. By shutting down completely just as I was opening up to you," I said, throat tight with emotion. "Making me think I meant nothing to you by acting like an absolute asshole after the accident. Necessary or not, you fucking broke me, Joe."
He just stared at me.
"And the worst of it, it's not even all your fault," I said, tears welling in the corners of my eyes. "It's mine. First for coming out here and getting involved with you. For wanting to fix everything and not being able to. For taking on so much after the accident that I felt like I was coming apart and the only thing I could do was run."
Brows drawn tight, he cupped my cheeks in his big hands. "You're right, I should have had your back with Star. I'm sorry, Alex. Christ, I'm sorry for everything. I acted like a heartless bastard because I couldn't cope with us right then. I should have just ... shit. I should have waited, kept you close. Not make you think what we had was nothing. I'm sorry, Little Miss, I was a fucking idiot. Can you forgive me?"
"You're sorry?" I'd been so ready to kiss his ass I couldn't quite believe it. "Really?"
He nodded. "Worst thing I ever did, pushing you away."
And the whole gazing into each other's eyes was getting to be too much again. I couldn't take it. Gah, talk about an overload of emotion. I closed my eyelids tight, breathing in deep. Just when I thought maybe I'd gotten a handle on myself, Joe's lips brushed against mine and I lost it all over again.
God, he could kiss.
Mouths searching, tongues gliding against one another, and his hands ... holy hell, his hands. They went from gently holding my face to fingers stroking down the sides of my dress. Next thing I knew they were under my skirt, sliding into the back of my black lace underwear.
With an ass cheek in each hand, he groaned long and loud. "Fuck, I missed you."
"You did?" I panted.
"Yeah. Don't disappear on me again."
"'kay."
"Promise me," he demanded, a hand moving up to collar my throat, fingers and thumb pressing in just a little.
"I promise."
In one not even remotely smooth move, he spun us around, reversing our places. My spine hit the door and his teeth sunk into my neck. Punishing me in the best way possible. Hands tore my panties down my legs, hesitating only when he got to the stiletto heels.
He looked up at me, a smirk on his face. "More stripper heels?"
"Joe, they're designer," I said, wiping away a tear, stepping out of my fancy underwe
ar. "Have some respect."
"Sure thing. Just give me a minute."
"Huh?"
Thick fingers slid between my legs and the man disappeared beneath my skirt. Oh shit. I was a goner. Hot mouth, wet tongue, and a determined man of many talents. Don't even get me started on the feeling of his beard, brushing against such sensitive skin. I was a blissful mess there in no time. More than ready for him, needing him immediately.
"Joe." Holding up my skirt, I stroked his hair. "Come on."
"What?" he asked, flicking his tongue up and down along my slit. So damn good. If it weren't for his hands and the help of the door, I'd be on the ground. Honestly, my knees were barely up to the task of keeping me upright in the face of such overwhelming pleasure.
"Sex. Now." I pulled on his hair some more.
He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and stood, before getting busy undoing his zipper. Out of his wallet came a condom and onto his impressively hard cock. "Right now?"
I nodded, twining my arms around his neck.
"You sure?"
"Don't make me hurt you," I said in a warning tone.
"Yes, ma'am."
Strong hands lifted me and I wrapped my legs around him good and tight. Heaven help me, given half a chance, I'd never let him go. Once my skirt was out of the way, we were good to go. He directed the head of his cock to my opening, both of us moaning at the exquisite sensation. He was hard and I was soft. We both wanted it bad. Slowly he lowered me onto him, the heavy length of him filling my insides just so.
Mouth open, I gasped, everything low in me tightening. This was what I'd needed since the moment I'd left. Him. There'd been no dates or distractions, I hadn't even tried. Joe Collins had my heart whether he wanted it or not. With his big cock moving deep into my delicate insides, lighting up every inch of me, we might as well just cancel Christmas. Nothing else could be this perfect, bright, and special.
"Okay?" he asked.
"Oh yeah." I smiled, my mouth trembling just a little.
Ever so sweetly he lowered me onto him, then lazily withdrew. Thrusting into me with the kind of knowledge I'd imagine only long-term partners knew. I was safe in his arms. There could be no doubt. And I knew his hazy eyes wouldn't leave my face for a moment, registering every minute detail and reaction. Absolute ecstasy. The kind of sensation I could find with only one person.
"I love you," I said, gazing into his eyes. It never even occurred to me to hide.
"Thank fuck for that."
I clenched the muscles in my pussy tight around him, making things even better, hotter. Christ, what a rush. It nearly sent me cross-eyed.
"Shit," he mumbled. "Do that again."
I did as told. His hips ground against me, fingers digging into my ass cheeks. There'd be the best bruises later for him to kiss better. Gradually, his thrusts came harder and more often, pounding me into the door. I could barely breathe, let alone think. Inside of me, every muscle, every atom, coiled tight, reaching for that high.
Heels digging into his butt, I wrapped myself so tight around him the man couldn't possibly escape. The heat and the smell and the everything ... it was perfect. I yelled out his name, squeezing his cock tight. My mind was up among the stars, circling the galaxy. Yet still, I could feel him coming inside of me, his pelvis pinning me against the door.
Heaven. Absolutely positively heaven. I'd found it at last.
*
"Okay, that's not suspicious at all."
"What?" I asked, giving Rosie my very best attempt at innocence. Big eyes, fluttering eyelashes, that sort of thing.
Joe just quietly chuckled, the traitor.
I sat on his lap with a fresh drink in hand, his arm draped across me. All was good. Nell and Patrick had been successfully re-hitched in our absence. Both of the twins' diapers had apparently been changed. On the impromptu dance floor, Stan and Audrey were swaying arm in arm to some cool old blues music. Alongside them, Vaughan and Lydia were doing likewise. Mal and his wife, however, were attempting to tango. Though I think mostly it was just Mal while his wife laughed her ass off, arms wrapped tight around him.
Love was ace.
"I think Rosie's referring to the fact that your hair is a mess and half of your makeup is gone," said Nell, sipping from a glass of water. "You look distinctly rumpled. And here I thought only the newlyweds were meant to sneak off and bang in a cupboard or something."
Patrick just raised his eyebrows. "They have beds, baby. Why do it in a cupboard?"
"True," she said. "How long do you think it would take us to do it in every room of this mansion, anyway?"
"Dunno." Pat sat with his arm slung over Nell's shoulders, his face serene, at peace with the world. Also, speculative. "We should investigate that later."
Nell grinned.
Sitting on the arm of the couch, Eric just shook his head. "Married people don't have sex. You two should know that. Minute you sign that contract, boom! Life as you knew it is over. No fun. No nothing."
"Ah, my brother," hummed Joe. "That patron saint of love."
Eric gave him the stink eye, including me in on it too. Then he raised his bottle of beer in the air. "Fine, I'll be nice. To love."
Everyone else raised their glasses, clinking them against each other's.
"To Nell and Patrick," said Eric, his bottle again held high. "You two deserve every happiness this world can give you. And I mean that."
"Thank you." Nell's eyes misted over.
Being manly, Pat gave him a nod.
"Here, here," said Andre.
And the moment felt right. Old tensions laid to rest, no one in pain. Or at least, I didn't think anyone was. A shadow lingered in Eric's eyes, however. His usual surliness or something more, I couldn't say. Today could have just as easily been the day his and Nell's child was born. Not the kind of thing you can easily set aside and forget about. Heartbreak like that had to linger.
"And to you two," continued Eric, pointing his near-empty bottle in my and Joe's direction. Oh God, here we go. If he even started down the "she's using you to get to me" road, I'd brain the idiot. But instead, he gave me a half smile. "Best of luck."
The two brothers did the chin-tip thing to each other.
"Won't be easy, living in different states," said Rosie.
I smiled. "We're used to being pen pals."
"It'll work," said Joe, tone brooking no doubts. "I'll spend some time there, you spend some time here. Eventually, we'll work out which town suits us better."
"You'd really leave?" asked Eric, frowning.
Joe just shrugged.
"Nuh." I laid my head on his shoulder. "I don't see that happening."
He brushed his lips against my forehead. "I'm serious, Little Miss. If you need to be in Seattle then we'll work it out."
"You've got your work here, mine's portable."
"You've got Val and your folks there."
"Yeah. But Val loves jumping on a plane and going somewhere. Whereas I hate flying with a fiery passion," I said, because blatant truth, it'd taken a Valium and a huge serving of self-determination to get me here. "I think my parents would like visiting Coeur d'Alene. If, maybe, someday, I decided to move here. We'll see."
"I want you with me." Another kiss was placed on my face. "But don't rush into making a decision. I don't want you regretting anything."
"We'll figure it out." I smiled, soaking in the scent of him, the feel of his slick suit and thick shoulder beneath my cheek. The brush of his beard against the top of my head. Heaven.
"Yeah," he whispered. "Love you."
"You do?"
"Without a doubt."
"Good. I love you more though," I said. Because it's important in relationships, especially those that felt like forever, to show that you were the better person. Ha.
*
"He's a no-show."
"Hmm?" I moved over to the window, standing beside Joe. Mostly patiently, he stood waiting by my office window wearing only boxer briefs. The man
was lucky there were so many trees in the neighborhood shielding us. Otherwise, he could have caused a goddamn stampede.
"Guess he's shy," he said, slinging an arm around my shoulder.
"He's probably intimidated by the size of your nuts. Maybe if you put pants on?"
"Haha." He kissed the tip of my nose.
"Marty will come out to say hi sooner or later. Have patience. He's a busy squirrel."
Joe sat on the edge of my desk, one of the few remaining pieces of furniture left in the apartment. Strong arms slid around my middle, drawing me back between his legs. "How you doing with all this?"
"Okay. No freak-outs." My gaze tripped over the myriad of boxes containing all of my worldly goods. I was moving to Coeur d'Alene to live in one of the Bird Building apartments with my boyfriend. Whoa. My heart double-timed. "Mostly no freak-outs."
"Haven't changed your mind?"
I hummed, leaning back into him. So much warm skin to skate my fingers over. Heavenly. "No. I mean, my business can move, no worries, and you and I are solid. Everything is good. I'm still a little anxious, but--"
"I love you." Warm lips pressed kisses into my shoulder. So good, shivers raced up my spine. The man knew things, deliciously good things. "I could help you out with that anxiety."
"Relax me?" I asked in a husky tone. Shame on me, the room still reeked of sex from the last time. Having finished up the bulk of the packing, we seemed to have descended into some crazed competition to see how many times we could do it in my apartment while it was still my apartment. So far, we were both winning.
His fingers dug into my hips demandingly. "Mm-hmm."
"Distract me?"
"Absolutely."
"Val and her man will be here soon to help carry it all down to your truck." I arched my neck, giving him better access. "Though we do still have the mattress."
"Be a shame not to use it," he mumbled, his hard cock poking into the small of my back. The man was insatiable. But hey, when it came to him, so was I. We were a perfect lusty match.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of fur race by on a tree limb. I pushed out of Joe's hold, rushing to the window. "Marty! Hey, fam."
From behind me came a heavy sigh. "Cock blocked by a squirrel."
"Oh, but he's so cute," I cooed. "Aren't you, Marty? Yes, you are."
Once more, arms came around from behind me, holding me tight. "I appreciate you leaving him for me, Little Miss."
"It was a hard choice, it's true. I'm just ... Honestly, I'm still not sure if maybe I should st--"
Teeth nipped at my shoulder and I giggled like some lovelorn schoolgirl. I couldn't help it. Joe had me, heart and soul. All of my phobias had fallen to him, one by one. He helped me be a braver, better person. Someone more open to the world and all of its experiences.