“Mathis!” she gasped, tensing. Then she seemed to relax. Putting her arms around his neck, she pressed her face to his throat with perfect trust. God, she felt so right in his arms—so perfect, like she belonged there. “Mathis,” she whispered again and hummed contentedly, snuggling against him.
At her soft voice and the sweet feel of her curvy body against his, an emotion rose inside him—something so huge it threatened to drown him if he named it.
Mathis didn’t name it. Instead he held her close and just tried to let things be.
They might not have sex tonight—or any night, he told himself—but he could at least hold her in his arms. For the first time in ten long, lonely years he would have a female to warm his bed and not just any female—Sadie. Sadie, who he was beginning to care about much more than he should.
Mathis pushed the thought away. No more guilt tonight—he could save the self-recriminations for tomorrow. For now he just wanted to breathe her in, to fall asleep wrapped around her and know she’d be there when he woke in the morning.
I just want to hold her, he told himself. Is that so wrong?
And though a part of him insisted it was, he did his best to ignore it as he carried Sadie into his bedroom.
Fourteen
Sadie woke and stretched luxuriously, a feeling of well-being suffusing her entire body. She’d had the most amazing dream. All about Mathis turning into a huge prehistoric deer and giving her a ride . . . galloping through the forest on his back and then coming home and letting him taste her . . . his broad shoulders splitting her thighs wide, his mouth wet and shiny with her juices in the firelight as he licked and sucked and made her come over and over and over again . . .
The snarl of a chainsaw cut off the pleasant memory of her strange dream and she opened her eyes to see she was in an unfamiliar bed. A huge bed with a forest-green spread—almost the exact same color as Mathis’s eyes.
Sadie’s own eyes flew wide. It was Mathis’s bed she was in—she’d spent the night in his cabin! No, not just in his cabin—wrapped in his arms, his big body entangled with hers and his warm scent filling her nose. She could still smell that masculine spice but Mathis himself was gone.
“Oh my God,” she murmured, sitting up and letting the sheet pool around her waist. The reality of the night before came crashing down on her.
Her nipples were hard little pebbles in the chilly morning air and no wonder—she wasn’t even wearing the oversized T-shirt she’d had on the night before. Biting her lip, Sadie remembered that she and Mathis had decided it was best if she took it off, for maximum skin contact, so his scent could cover hers even more. She’d spent the night not only in his bed, but naked in his arms and she’d enjoyed every bit of it. Even though they hadn’t actually had sex, it had been delicious to feel his big hands exploring every inch of her body as she pressed shamelessly against him and he kissed her until she couldn’t breathe.
That part, at least, hadn’t been a dream—Sadie remembered it too vividly and her mouth still felt tender from his rough, delicious kisses. Even after licking her to orgasm after orgasm on the couch, he’d still used his fingers to make her come several more times once they reached the bed. But though she’d begged, he wouldn’t let her return the favor.
“It’s enough for me just to touch you and taste you, sweetheart,” he’d said. “If I let you touch me, I might get carried away. So just lie back and let me make you feel good.”
God, what a night! Sadie shivered with the delicious memory and looked around, wondering where Mathis had gone. Her huge neighbor was nowhere in sight but at the foot of the bed was a pile of neatly folded clothes she recognized as her own.
Sadie hopped up, thinking again how nice it was not to have any of the morning aches and pains she’d been subject to before her Rejuvenation began, and pulled on her panties and bra. She still felt a little sensitive between her thighs and her tailbone was sore but that was to be expected after all the riding she’d done last night . . .
She frowned. Wait—did that mean the other things she remembered were also not a dream? Had Mathis really turned into a huge Buck and taken her for a ride through the forest before bringing her back to his cabin and going down on her for hours? But that defied everything she knew to be real. Was she going crazy? Or had she been dreaming? Or was the world far more magical than she’d ever known?
There was only one way to find out.
Pulling on the rest of her clothes, Sadie went in search of her neighbor slash Shifter slash lover . . . well, sort of anyway.
She found him outside on the roof of her cabin wielding a perfectly enormous chainsaw. He was shirtless, his broad chest already lightly beaded with sweat despite the chilly morning air, as he sawed at the massive branch that had come down on her roof during the storm the night before.
Sadie waved at him and he stopped work and took off the protective goggles he’d been wearing.
“Hang on, sweetheart—I’ll be right down.” His deep voice echoed in the quiet forest and he came down the ladder he’d put against the side of her cabin. “Morning,” he said, putting down the chainsaw and wiping sweat off his forehead. “You get a good night’s sleep?”
“I had a wonderful night. Er . . . a wonderful night’s sleep, I mean. ” Sadie felt a little shy. He was so big and half naked and muscular in the golden autumn sunshine it was hard to believe everything she remembered from the night before had really happened. Now that she saw him standing there in front of her, it seemed like it must have been just a really vivid dream after all.
“Glad you’re well rested,” Mathis remarked, nodding. “Listen, your roof’s not as bad as we thought. The widow-maker made a hole all right, but then it mostly plugged it up. You don’t have much more than a puddle on the floor of your living room, and I’m pretty sure I can patch up the roof in a day or two with no problem.”
This was all wonderful news, of course, but Sadie was so distracted she couldn’t concentrate on it.
“That’s great,” she said faintly. “Thank you so much, Mathis.”
“Welcome.” He smiled. “Oh, and your car’s out of the ditch too. I towed it out with my truck, first thing.”
“Thank you,” Sadie said again. “You’re so thoughtful.”
“I try.” He grinned. “Well look, I’d better get back to it. The sooner I finish up—”
“Do you really turn into a giant deer during the full moon?” Sadie blurted out before she could stop herself. “And did you give me a ride last night or was that all a crazy dream? And did we really . . .” But she couldn’t make herself go on—her heart was pounding and her face felt so hot she was sure she was in danger of setting her hair on fire.
Mathis looked at her intently, the smile leaving his face.
“It’s all true,” he murmured. “Every bit of it, Sadie. I showed you my Buck last night and afterwards we did . . .” He sighed. “Things we probably shouldn’t have done.”
“But we had to, right? To . . . to cover my scent, I mean?” she asked uncertainly.
He nodded. “Yeah, but we can’t do it again. I . . .” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “I can’t trust myself with you, sweetheart. Even just standing here talking to you I want you so much I can hardly keep my hands off you.”
“I . . . I want you too,” Sadie whispered, looking up at him longingly. “But I can see why you don’t want us to, um, act on those feelings.”
He sighed. “I do want to act on them—that’s the problem. Try to understand, Sadie—it’s not just the promise I made. My kind mates for life. If something happens, we can’t take another mate. We can’t form a second life-bond—if I tried and failed, I’d be damning you to a terrible fate. I don’t want that for you.”
“A life-bond?” Sadie frowned. “What does that even mean?”
“It’s the connection a Shifter has to his mate,” Mathis explained. “Makes them sensitive to each other’s emotions and needs—draws them closer together. Helps them track each
other. It’s one reason you don’t see much divorce in the Shifter community. Bonded mates stay together.”
“And mates who aren’t bonded?” Sadie asked.
“There aren’t any. I mean, you might see a few couples who look like they’re just shacking up since they aren’t married but don’t let that fool you—they’re bonded or they wouldn’t be living together. Shifters can do one-night stands on occasion but once they find the right person, they form a life-bond and stick with them.”
“So what would happen if you tried to bond me to you and couldn’t?” Sadie persisted. “You said it was a terrible fate—what does that mean?”
His eyes darkened. “If we had a failed life-bond on the night of your first Shift? It could be bad—you might become one of the Unformed.”
“The what?” Sadie frowned.
“It’s a thing that happens to Juvie females if they don’t bond properly,” Mathis said darkly. “I don’t know all the details but it’s not good. Fiona can fill you in more than I can.”
“All right, I think I understand,” Sadie said. “We can’t be together because you’re afraid we couldn’t form this connection, this . . . life-bond, and that might cause problems down the road.”
“Big problems,” Mathis growled. “Look, sweetheart . . .” He gazed at her earnestly. “I just don’t want to hurt you.”
You already have, Sadie wanted to say, but she kept the words inside. “I guess I should go then.” Standing on tiptoes, she put her hands lightly on his broad shoulders and reached up to kiss him on the cheek.
Mathis caught her by the shoulders and looked at her, an expression of raw hunger and regret clear on his strong features. For a moment Sadie thought he was going to kiss her and not just on the cheek, but then he shook his head and let her go.
“You should talk to Fiona,” he said, his voice a low, frustrated growl. “She’ll be able to tell you what to do next. I wish I could give you more information but Juvie females are rare and she’s the only one in town who might have any idea.”
“Okay.” Feeling dismissed, Sadie nodded and started to go. But she couldn’t help herself—she felt compelled to say one more thing. “Mathis,” she said softly, looking into his forest green eyes. “I just want you to know, you gave me more pleasure and excitement and just pure joy than I’ve had in what feels like years last night. I understand it was just a one night thing but, well, thank you. It was amazing. All of it.”
Then she turned away, before he could see her tears.
Amazing and exciting and over all too soon. Over for good.
Mathis watched her head for her car, his shoulders hunched in frustration. Damn it, how had he allowed the little Juvie to get under his skin so quickly?
It was just one night, he told himself firmly. And I didn’t even claim her. My vow is unbroken. And she’ll be able to find another male—one who can form a proper life-bond with her to keep her safe and secure.
But somehow his honor didn’t seem quite as important to him as it had before. And the thought of another male touching her—or even getting near her—made a low possessive growl rise in his throat.
As he watched Sadie get in her car and drive away, the memory of her soft body against his and her sweet mouth against his own were the only things on Mathis’s mind.
Forget it, he told himself angrily. And forget her—if you really care about her, Mathis, that’s what you’ll do. You can’t form a second life-bond and you know it and you don’t want to risk her becoming one of the Unformed. So just get back to work and put this whole mess behind you.
But as he hefted the chainsaw and climbed back on the ladder, all he could see was Sadie’s big brown eyes. Her sweet scent, now laced with his own, still lingered in the air, making him want her as he had never wanted any other female in his life.
Fifteen
Sadie blinked back tears as she drove the winding road that led to Cougarville. It had been too good to be true—too sweet to last.
“Should have known it,” she muttered to herself as she twisted the wheel of her Civic. Thanks to her brand-new tires, the shabby little car hugged the road nicely. Thinking of the tires reminded her that she needed to find a way to pay for them—there was no way she was accepting such an expensive gift, especially now that she knew the true story of what was going on in Cougarville.
Had Liam Keller been trying to lay some kind of claim on her by giving her such a pricey present? Sadie wouldn’t have been surprised it was so, but it wasn’t going to work. There was only one Shifter she was interested in—unfortunately she couldn’t have him.
What’s the big deal about this life-bond thing anyway? She twisted the wheel angrily as she took another bend in the curving mountain road. So what if we can’t feel each other’s emotions? I never felt Jeff’s emotions when we were married.
Right, and look how well that relationship worked out, whispered a little voice in her head.
Yes, but that had been different. Her ex had been an asshole right from the start, as Samantha was so fond of pointing out. Mathis wasn’t like that. Under his gruff exterior was a sweet, sensitive guy who was amazing in bed. Not to mention the fact that he turned into a huge, gorgeous prehistoric deer and took her on magical moonlit rides through the forest. Yes, he was ten years younger than her but that no longer mattered to Sadie—she just knew she wanted him and she couldn’t have him.
Sammie would like him, she thought sadly. A lot more than she ever liked Jeff. Wish I could introduce them, but there’s no point—unless I introduce him as my neighbor since that’s all he can ever be from now on.
Thinking of her twin sister suddenly gave Sadie a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach. She’d had all kinds of ups and downs and craziness to contend with yesterday—why hadn’t Samantha called her?
“Maybe because you left your phone in your purse and your purse in the car last night, genius,” she muttered to herself. Digging through her purse—which was still in the passenger-side seat—with one hand, she finally located her cell phone.
Of course she couldn’t look at the phone while she was driving. On the high winding mountain road to Cougarville, that would have been suicide. But Samantha was one of the few people she knew who still preferred phone messages to texting. So she pressed the button and said, “Play messages,” before putting the phone on speaker.
There were several messages from her kids—still getting settled in college and wanting to check in with their mom—then one from Jeff complaining that she hadn’t given him enough notice before moving out of town and there was still some paperwork to do. Sadie fast-forwarded that one. Finally she got to a message from her twin.
“Sadie, what’s going on with you? Why aren’t you answering your phone?” Samantha sounded worried. “I’ve been having a bad feeling you’re in trouble all afternoon but I was stuck in surgery—I need to hear from you now.”
Her twin had left several more similar messages but the last one was different.
“All right—that’s it,” Samantha’s brisk voice sounded tight and strained. “Something is going on with you and you’re not picking up so you leave me no choice—I’m at the airport. I was scheduled to speak at a surgical seminar in Las Vegas but I’m canceling my flight and coming to see you instead, Sadie. Expect me sometime tomorrow and you damn well better be all right!”
“Sammie!” Sadie exclaimed, grinning.
The thought of seeing her sister brightened her day immediately. She could talk everything out with her twin and explain all the weird stuff that had been going on with her lately. Also, she could warn Samantha that the same thing might be about to happen to her. She still wasn’t clear on the whole Rejuvenation process but it stood to reason that Samantha would also have the Shifter Gene and might start going through the process herself any day now.
She tried to call her sister back but there was no answer. Well, maybe she’d gotten a later flight and was still in the air. Or it could just be the reception—being s
urrounded by mountains played merry hell with getting any kind of reliable signal.
Whatever—she was sure her twin would call as soon as she could and then Sadie could direct her to her office in Cougarville. Before she knew it, they’d be catching up. And damn, was there a lot to catch Samantha up on.
Sadie just hoped her sister would believe her and not think she’d suddenly gone crazy.
Mathis spent all morning and most of the early afternoon taking his frustrations out on the huge tree limb that had fallen across Sadie’s roof. By the time he had it sawed up and stacked in neat chunks out by the woodpile, it was nearly lunchtime and he was starving and sweaty and still pissed off.
Damn it—why couldn’t he get Sadie out of his mind even for a minute? The scent of her hair, the taste of her lips (and other things), the soft press of her breasts against his chest—they all tormented him ceaselessly no matter what he did. It was ridiculous to keep thinking of her since he could never have her and yet the image of her beautiful face wouldn’t leave his mind’s eye.
Stop it, Mathis—just stop it! She’s not for you so give her up.
If only he could.
He hefted the huge chainsaw and was headed back to his own cabin when a black SUV with a rental sticker pulled up into Sadie’s rutted dirt driveway. Mathis stopped, waiting to see who it was.
After a moment, a short curvy female with honey-blond hair stepped down from the cab of the SUV. She was extremely attractive with deep blue eyes and a self-assured air about her. Mathis thought she looked to be in her late thirties or early forties, if he was any judge of age. She had on a tailored gray pantsuit and heels that were completely unsuited to the woods.
“Hello,” he said, stepping out from the shadow of the trees. “You need something?”
The blonde’s big blue eyes widened as he took him in and he suddenly understood that he must look a sight—stripped to the waist, covered in sweat, and holding a massive chainsaw. There were torture-porn movies about women who met guys looking like him out in the backwoods where no one could hear them scream.