On my second day of work as a janitor, I got a little further in the cleaning process than I did on my first day, but apparently not far enough. After I refilled my bottles with cleaners and attached a new vacuum to my cart, I started to clean the entertainment room. I picked up the mess people left from last night, dusted the furniture, and vacuumed the carpet. This was the first room I cleaned today, and I was already tired before I even cleaned the windows. At breakfast, Veronica warned me again not to eat such a big meal before work, but I didn’t listen because the pancakes, sausage, eggs, bacon, French toast, hash browns, and waffles loaded with maple syrup were far too appetizing. I suffered the consequences of that delicious meal. After I came down from the sugar high, I became really tired and needed a rest, so I sat on the couch for a few minutes, rubbing the food baby in my stomach. Somehow, I must have fallen asleep.
Two hours later, the guards woke me up, cuffed my hands behind my back, and escorted me to court. Apparently, sleeping on the job was a crime, too, even though it was not written on the sheet of laws. I sat on a bench until the judge called my number.
“Approach the bench,” she said. “State your name.”
“Collins Greene,” I said as the guards walked me up to the bench.
The judge’s assistant brought the judge my file, and she glanced at it for a few seconds before realizing I was here yesterday.
“Collins, back again so soon?” the judge asked.
“I really missed you, Your Honor,” I joked, “I just needed to see you again.”
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t joke with me. What are his crimes?”
“Absent from work, Your Honor; he was sleeping on the job,” a guard said. “May I approach the bench with my evidence?”
“Proceed.”
The guard handed over his camera and notepad to the judge. She connected the camera to her computer and printed the pictures. “You’re quite a drooler,” she said. “This man is guilty as charged.” She wrote something in my folder before she added the pictures and the guard’s notes to my file. “This is his second offense, so his case will proceed to Chair Trials. Collins, did you read the paper I gave you yesterday?”
“Yes, I did,” I replied.
“In my entire ten years of being a judge at Walnut Cherryville, I have never, not once, seen the same person come in here two days in a row,” she said. “If you survive, I hope you can learn what you’re doing wrong and correct it before it’s too late. Good luck with your Chair Trials.”
“What do you mean ‘if I survive?’ What is that supposed to mean?” I asked.
“You know exactly what it means.”
I wasn’t sure what she meant, but I had a feeling that she was indicating I might die. In many situations, people used the word survive very loosely.
“Well, if it means what I think it means, can I ask you something? You know, just in case I never see you or anyone else again?”
“Fine, you can ask me a question, but I might not be able to answer it.”
“Why is this room bigger on the inside than it is on the outside?”
“Perception filters. Now you must go. Guards take—”
“Wait,” I interrupted. “I’m not finished!”
“Collins, I have a job to do. There are people waiting!”
“One more question, just one, I promise!”
“What is it?”
“What do the pictures of the stick people on the outside of the dome mean?”
“I don’t know.”
“Thank you,” I said as the guards dragged me away from the bench and out the door. “Do you guys really have to drag me? I can walk from here.”
“Walk then,” a guard said before he pushed me.
We walked a short distance through the village before stopping at the back door of a building that had a pyramid structure and was textured like a cheese grater with sharp grooves on its metallic metal surface. Unless there were perception filters around, the building was only two stories high, and I saw a satellite next to the building. There was a sign on the back door that read “Chair Trials Studio: Participant Entrance.” Were they taking me into a television studio? I had always wanted to be on television; how did I look? I glanced at my reflection on the building as a guard scanned his key into the key scanner. I wondered what show I was participating in…I hoped it was a reality show; those were always entertaining.
They quickly pushed me in through the backdoor where we entered a long hallway full of jail cells.
Why was Walnut Cherryville obsessed with jail cells? Couldn’t they just have waiting rooms like normal people? The cells in this building were much darker than the ones we stayed in the first night we were here because these were totally closed off from the outside. As I walked down the hall, I heard whispers, cries, and coughs, but there wasn’t enough light to see much of anything. The lights that hung from the ceiling were weak and flickered a lot.
“Put him in this one,” a guard said. They pushed me in the cell, locked the door, and walked away.
I sat in the cell for what felt like hours, thinking about my life. If I could make one phone call before I died, I’d call my grandma in the nursing home and tell her how sorry I was about trying to poison her. Ever since that day I switched her sugar for rat poison when I was fifteen, she never wanted to see me again. When I visited her at the nursing home during the holidays, she wouldn’t stop screaming for security to come take me away. Since she was so frightened around me, I was only allowed to visit her while security was in the room. I always brought her fresh flowers and replaced the old ones with new ones. She only remembered me as her murderer, not her grandson, which was unfortunate because she was the only family I had left after my parents died. The doctors diagnosed her with dementia and said she was losing her memory. It was interesting how she forgot how I took care of her for all those years and only remembered that I poisoned her.
I moved in with my grandma when I was twelve because my parents died in a car accident. Grandma was paralyzed from the waist down, so she couldn’t do much on her own. During the week, while I was in school, a nurse stayed with Grandma to help her shower and get dressed and to keep her company. Every weekend, we’d take the bus into the nice part of town to go shopping for groceries (and sometimes sundresses) at Wal-Mart. There wasn’t anything she loved more than shopping for sundresses at a discount store. As she rolled through the aisles, I followed closely behind, prepared to catch anything she might throw in the basket. Bright, floral patterns were her weakness. When we were done shopping, we’d catch the bus back home, and I would put the groceries away. The remainder of the afternoon was spent watching one of her old flicks from her vast video collection. This was how I spent my weekends every week.
Every waking minute that I wasn’t in school, I spent with my grandma getting her everything she needed. Collins, would you fetch me the remote? Collins, make me some tea. Collins, fold up the laundry and put it away. Collins, clean this, clean that…Before I knew it, I was making a fresh dinner for her every night because she hated frozen meals. I cleaned one room every day, so her messes wouldn’t get out of hand. I spent so much time on the weekends and after school doing everything she asked that I didn’t have enough time for myself. I really wanted to join some afterschool clubs, shoot some hoops in the park, or hang out with friends on the weekends, but Grandma would never let me do anything on my own. She always wanted me to stay in the house just in case she needed something she couldn’t do or get on her own. This was frustrating…frustrating enough to put two tablespoons of rat poison into her tea instead of sugar.
Even though what I did was wrong, I didn’t totally regret it. Instead of continuing my dreadful life as her maid, I got to go to Sonoran Correctional High School and live out my lost years. Grandma was sent to a nursing home where she finally got the help she needed. Though a lot of good came out of that situation, something equally as bad did, too. My relationship with my grandma was severed forever an
d could never be repaired.
The guards unlocked the door, pulled me out of my cell, and led me on to the set. Well, I was right about one thing: it was a television studio. The stage was lit brightly and decorated with six chairs and a green screen. Five of the chairs were simple plastic chairs lined up next to each other, facing the camera. The sixth chair was an electric chair that sat in the corner, which made me wonder nervously if that was how I was going to die. What would it feel like to have electric currents running through my body? Would it be a quick death? I didn’t know, but I hoped I wouldn’t find out.
The guards tied me down to a regular plastic chair, along with four other Walnut Cherryville citizens. Kenneth, who wore a fancy gray suit, walked on to the set, testing his clip-on microphone.
I peered out into the dark auditorium in front of me and saw a theatre full of empty seats. My body twitched uncontrollably, sending me mixed signals of excitement for the fact that I was on a reality television show and fear that I might die. The spotlights above the stage were so hot, they made my forehead sweat. A few minutes later, someone came around and clipped a microphone on to my breast pocket.
“We’re on in five, four, three, two, one, action!” a man called out.
“Welcome back to another thrilling episode of Chair Trials,” Kenneth said, facing the cameraman. “I’m your host, Kenneth Quinton. Behind me are five criminals who have broken the laws of Walnut Cherryville, and tonight you’re going to hear their stories about what they did and why they did it. At the end of the show, you, the viewers in the glass building, get to decide who gets the chair. You will have thirty minutes to place your vote with ComCon at the end of the show. When the thirty minutes are up, we will share the results. Now, let’s begin! Our first contestant is Hank from maintenance services. He was charged with vandalism of Walnut Cherryville property. Hank, tell us your story.”
The cameraman rolled the camera closer to Hank and zoomed in on his face. It appeared like the studio only had one camera, so the cameraman was constantly maneuvering the camera to get a shot of every contestant from multiple angles.
“Well, maintenance got a call from a woman who claimed the water pressure on one of the showers was weaker than normal, so they put me on the job to fix it. I was assigned to this job despite the fact that I have no repair experience at all. I asked some of the other maintenance guys for help, but they said they were too busy, so I had to fix it the best I could. After playing around with the showerhead, I turned the water on and saw that it was fixed. Later on that day, another woman complained that the pressure was so hard it gave her bruises. I went back and tried to turn the pressure back down, but the adjuster was stuck. I didn’t vandalize any property; the shower is still usable.”
Hey, look who it was; it was Counselor Hank! I saw him two days ago when Kenneth gave us the tour of the glass building. I was surprised to see him on Chair Trials so soon. This must have been the judge’s lucky day…Now she could say for the second time in ten years, she saw the same man in her courtroom two days in a row. I’m glad we put some spice in her life. I’d high five the counselor, but it looked like he was about to become Kenneth’s personal punching bag.
“Is it?” Kenneth asked in a stern voice. “Is it still usable?” Kenneth circled around Hank, softly running his hands over Hank’s chest. “This,” he said softly, “is a gentle stream of water running over your body. After a hard day’s work, you’ve finally earned that shower coin, and you’re ready to take a relaxing shower. You crave that soft, crystal caress that gently washes away the dirt and grime of the day.” Kenneth stopped behind Hank and started giving him a shoulder massage. “You want your skin to feel as smooth as an apple and let your body unwind at the same time. You never know where your mind will go when the water pressure is just right. I personally can’t think of anything better than a summer’s mist touching every crevice so playfully that it tickles my soft spots. Only a shower can do that for a person, don’t you think? But wait…you still think the shower is usable.” Kenneth’s tone of voice became increasingly aggressive. “How would you like it if that trickling water you’re expecting came down like hail the size of golf balls!” Kenneth repeatedly slapped Hank on the chest, mocking the water pressure. “Bruising your skin, hurting your soft spots, and forcefully pushing you down to the floor!” Kenneth dramatically pushed Hank’s plastic chair, causing Hank to fall and hit his head on the wood floor. “You want it to stop! Who took the joy of taking a shower away from you? I know who! It was the maintenance man!” Kenneth pulled Hank’s chair upright into sitting position. “It was…Hank,” Kenneth said, letting his voice trail off.
Hank’s eyes closed, and his head limped to one side.
Hank, are you still there, buddy? I called out in my mind. Hank didn’t look so good. As the show went on, blood trickled from the corner of his mouth, and his skin turned pale. He might have had a concussion. I wanted to yell out for help, but if I made a sound, who knew what that douchebag would do to me. He seemed like the type of person who would hide a mini saw in his swanky suit, or possibly some lethal injections. Whatever it might be, I didn’t want to find out.
“Contestant number two, Kara from food services, was charged with stealing,” Kenneth announced. “Kara, tell us your story.”
Kara, an obese freckly woman with braided hair, cried for two minutes straight before she said anything. “I was helping the chefs make dinner one night, and I ate some of the food before dinnertime. I was really hungry, and I could feel my blood sugar dropping, so if I didn’t eat, I could have fainted. It’s really difficult to stand on your feet all day constantly looking at food and not eat any of it. I never really took that much, just a scrap of food here and there. There was always more than enough food for the citizens at mealtimes. The kitchen usually throws the leftovers away, and if they’re going to do that, I might as well eat them.”
“Kara, besides stealing, that is completely unsanitary,” Kenneth said. “It’s like spitting in everyone’s food! How do you know you’re not getting any chewed-up pieces from your mouth into the food you’re serving, huh? Guards, bring me a slice of bread!”
The guards brought out a plate with a single slice of white bread on it. Kenneth tore the bread in half and put one half on his plate and the other in his mouth. He chewed it up real good, spit it out on the other slice, and rolled it up like a burrito. He kneeled down next to Kara and held the chewed-up bread burrito to her mouth. “Open your mouth; it’s time to eat.”
Kara began crying again as she shook her head from side to side.
Eww…That was so gross, but I guessed I had seen worse.
“Well, if you won’t eat this, then I guess I’ll have to make it a little more appetizing. Guards, bring out the worms!”
OK, now I felt like I was on Fear Factor, the version where you didn’t get $50,000. The guards unraveled the burrito, stuffed the worms inside, and rolled it back up. Kenneth wasn’t such a fan of worms either, since he didn’t touch it. He forced the guards to feed it to her. I didn’t know if it was the worms or the fear of what was coming for me, but my stomach started churning.
“This is your last warning,” Kenneth said. “Open your mouth willingly, or we will open it for you!”
Kara refused, so the guards pried her mouth open with their bare hands and stuffed the whole burrito in her mouth. As soon as the guards stepped aside, she spit it out.
“Should we make her eat it again?” a guard asked.
“No, let’s move on to the next contestant,” Kenneth replied. “Contestant number three, Dave from gathering services, was charged with assault. Dave, tell us your story.”
“I didn’t assault the girl; she agreed to have sex with me, so we did it in the forest.”
“If this was true, then she wouldn’t have pushed her medical button. The medical wing said that Donna, the girl you raped, had severe bruising on her thighs and internal bleeding in her vagina and anus. She denies agreeing to have sex wit
h you.”
“Well, she lied to you.”
“I’m sure she wouldn’t lie about that,” Kenneth replied before he snapped his fingers at the guards.
Three guards approached Dave with a baseball bat, forcefully separated his legs and rammed the tip of the bat into his balls! The guards performed this horrific act with straight faces.
Never in my life have I seen a man kick another man in the balls and not feel sympathy pain. Every man knows how bad that hurts, so I’d never expect a guy to hurt another guy in the balls…only girls do that.
“Contestant number four, Roy from laundry services, was absent from work,” Kenneth said. “Roy, tell us your story.”
“I showed up for work every day, loaded the washer, and cleaned the clothes like I was supposed to, until one day, Mama, my supervisor, said she wanted to get married. I refused to marry her, so she made up a story about me not showing up for work.”
“Roy, you must listen to everything your supervisor says and do everything she asks.”
“But marrying her has nothing to do with cleaning laundry,” Roy debated.
“I know, but those are the rules, and you must follow them. If you are not the audience choice for tonight’s Chair Trials, then you will marry Mama.”
What??? Kenneth actually let a contestant go without doing anything horrible to them? Maybe I will be this lucky. Mama was the reason why I couldn’t have Johnny’s shower coin. What the hell goes on in laundry services that’s so bad?
“And finally, last but not least, contestant number five,” Kenneth said. “Collins from janitorial services was charged with absence from work. Collins, tell us your story.”
The camera was right up in my face front and center.
“There isn’t much of a story to tell,” I said.
“I doubt that,” Kenneth replied as the cameraman turned to film Kenneth’s response. “If you’re on Chair Trials, then there’s a reason why you’re here. What’s your reason?”
The cameraman got a wide shot of all the contestants sitting together.
“I fell asleep while cleaning the entertainment room, that’s all.”
“Can you believe that?” Kenneth spoke as he jumped into the wide shot. “This lazy janitor was sleeping while everyone else was hard at work! How do you feel about that, Walnut Cherryville citizens?”
A voice-recorded booing sound filled the room.
“You’re exactly right; I feel the same way,” Kenneth said. “Collins, why did you sleep on the job?”
“Because I was tired.”
“Did you hear that?” Kenneth spoke as he pointed at the camera. He continued ranting as he slowly walked toward the camera, causing the cameraman to walk backward in order to keep up. “He quit cleaning because he was tired. Your entertainment room is a filthy mess because Collins, the janitor, was too tired to clean it. He didn’t care enough about other Walnut Cherryville citizens to make sure they had a clean and comfortable room to watch the show. Just to show you how much we appreciate your heartless laziness, I have concocted a special surprise for you.”
Kenneth stepped out of the picture as the guards brought in a metal garbage pail full of stinky garbage from backstage. Whoever threw this garbage away didn’t even use a bag. The cameraman wheeled closer and filmed the guards dumping the trash out over my head.
Rotten banana peels, meat scraps, dirty napkins…the smell was wretched. It felt like slimy bugs were crawling on me, so I tried to shake the garbage off by wobbling in my chair without screaming. Normally, screaming like a girl was what I’d usually do, but not today. Today, I was going to be tough and not give Kenneth the satisfaction of hearing my fear. I held in my scream so well that it only let out a peep, which no one noticed. I wanted to show the viewers that Collins was cool, and he could take punishment as well as Kenneth could dish it!
“Now it’s time for you to vote,” Kenneth announced. “Which one of these five criminals least deserves another chance to live among us? Cast your vote with ComCon, and we’ll see you back here in thirty minutes. Happy voting!”
“Cut,” a man yelled out. “That’s a wrap!”
Chapter 9: Johnny