“I’m sorry. It’s just that the thought of a Neph being so pure, getting married, and having a normal human life is...” He stopped laughing when he looked at me. “It’s not possible.”
This could not be happening. In the course of an hour my life had been altered drastically. My entire future would be forever skewed and shadowed.
“Even most humans don’t wait until marriage anymore.” He glanced at me through choppy brown hair that hung in his eyes. “Look. It’s not time to worry yet. Why don’t you tell me this big secret of yours?”
I chewed the inside of my cheek. I was not entirely safe with Kaidan. I knew that. So why wasn’t I scared of him? His father was a terrifying and disgusting piece of work, but Kaidan was a different story. I wanted to trust him. I wanted him to trust me.
“My mother was an angel,” I blurted. “A guardian angel.”
There. I prayed I wouldn’t live to regret it.
He looked away from the road to study my face.
“But angels of light aren’t permitted to possess humans.”
“I guess she broke the rules,” I said.
He ran a hand through his hair, letting it flop back down across his brows.
“That’s unheard of. Definitely something you should not tell anyone else. Wow.”
Kaidan began to chuckle then.
“What’s so funny?” I asked.
“You. You’re a walking contradiction. Horns and a halo. I don’t believe it.”
I gave a deadpan “ha, ha” at his jibe. Meeting his father had stolen my sense of humor.
“Are there a lot of other people like us?” I asked. “Nephilim?”
“Not really. More than a hundred. Used to be thousands, but that’s a story for another day.”
I sat there marveling at the thought of others out there who had spent their childhoods developing unusual powers, as I had.
Kaidan slowed at the exit for Cartersville and we both quieted as I pointed directions. He pulled into my neighborhood and parked outside of the apartment building. He looked up at it with skepticism and cut the engine. I wasn’t ready to get out yet.
“What does it mean to be Nephilim?” I asked. “How much are we like our fathers?”
He leaned his seat back a few inches and laced his fingers behind his head.
“We feel a pull in the direction of their sinful natures. We’re viewed as their property, their pawns. Nephilim work to advance the demonic cause, promoting sin among our peers.”
He said it matter-of-factly, as if he had no opinion or feeling about this atrocity whatsoever.
“That is sick.”
He ignored me. “The demons have specific jobs. My father is the Duke of Lust. Your father, Belial, is the Duke of Substance Abuse.”
His words smacked me, leaving behind a sting. Even though I’d had a feeling about my nature, it still made me ill to hear it. And the son of Lust? He just went up a few notches on the danger scale.
“I can’t believe this. It’s so wrong.”
He continued to ignore me, scrunching his eyes as he’d done at his house. “Which one of these places is yours?”
I looked up at our apartment and pointed.
“Can you not hear that? Or do you never listen? There’s a woman crying in there.”
“Patti!” I said. I flung off my seat belt, jumped out of his car, and sprinted for the building, leaving Kaidan without a good-bye.
CHAPTER NINE
TO GO OR NOT TO GO
I rushed up the concrete stairs and into our cramped living space, not even bothering to shut the door behind me. Had the demons gotten to her? Patti was sitting on the sofa, and turned when she heard me enter. Her eyes were bloodshot. I went straight to her, crouching at her feet and putting a hand on her arm.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“The brakes went out in the car today. I’m sorry, honey. I’ll have to use all of the money I started saving for our trip.” She broke into another sob, wiping at her eyes with her sleeve.
That was it? Oh, thank goodness. I let out a breath of relief and let my head fall back.
In my peripheral vision I saw movement in the corridor and remembered I hadn’t shut the door, but when I stood to close it, Kaidan was standing in the doorway, rubbing the back of his neck. Oh, crap. Crap, crap, crap! I didn’t expect him to follow me! I moved to shut the door before Patti noticed, but it was too late. She was already looking at him. Then she looked at me.
“Anna?” Patti and I stared at each other with large eyes before she said, “That’s him, isn’t it?”
“Patti... I’m sorry.”
She looked at Kaidan as if expecting him to do something threatening, but he only switched his stance from one foot to the other. He looked like he might turn and bolt. Patti stood from the couch and went to the door.
“Well, you may as well come on in,” she said with attitude. He stepped in and she closed the door, then put her hands on her hips and surveyed him.
He appeared almost as nervous in front of Patti as I’d been in front of his father. It made him seem younger. What did he think she might force him to do—sing hymns with us? The absurdity of it, plus the knowledge that I was in deep trouble, made the corners of my mouth turn up, a nervous reaction. Patti narrowed her eyes at me, and I pressed my lips together. The silence stretched on and I needed to fill it.
“Patti, this is Kaidan. Kaidan, Patti.”
They regarded each other with uncertainty, and then to my surprise she stuck out her hand and he shook it.
“You must be a pretty special young man if Anna is willing to break a promise to see you.”
He glanced at me, and I looked down.
Patti turned her full scrutiny on me now. She wore a funny expression as she eyed me.
I remembered Kaidan’s red shirt hanging on my frame and my ears got hot. I began babbling an excuse.
“Oh, this!” I said. “This is just nothing. My shirt got torn accidentally, so Kaidan loaned me one of his. I know it looks bad, but it’s the truth—I promise.” My heart sank as I realized my promises would never again carry the weight they once had. Patti cleared her throat and crossed her arms.
“Can I talk to you alone for a second?” I asked her.
“You can have a seat,” she said to Kaidan, voice tight. “Can I get you something to drink?” Of course her Southern hospitality would kick in, even at a time like this.
“No, thank you, ma’am.” Kaidan sat in the middle of the couch. He looked out of place in our living room. I glared at him as we turned toward the hall, pointing to my ear and shaking my head. He’d better not listen. Yeah, right.
We went into Patti’s room, and before the door had a chance to close, my eyes were welling up.
“Patti, please, please forgive me. I feel awful inside. I’ve never been dishonest with you before, and I’m so mad at myself right now. I mean, I just... I knew he could answer my questions, and I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. But I didn’t know how to make you believe that.”
I avoided looking at her guardian angel, feeling guilty enough as it was. I wanted to tell Patti she’d been right. I should never have sought him out. The information I’d learned only made me ill, and I was now in serious danger. But I couldn’t tell her that. Ever. She would flip out.
Patti’s aura shuffled back and forth between pastel pink love and light gray nervousness, landing last on pink. My tears spilled over and Patti pulled me to her. I wrapped my arms around her, needing to soak in every ounce of love and softness she offered.
“I know this is hard on you, Anna, but you can’t lose your head. You can’t lose who you are in here.” She pulled back and tapped a finger over my heart. “Because that’s what’s important.”
I dabbed my eyes with the sleeve of Kaidan’s shirt.
“I don’t want you to worry about the money, okay?” I told her. “Everything happens for a reason, right? Just fix your car. We’ll make the trip as soon as we can.”
She nodded a
nd paused, thinking.
“Part of the reason I’m so upset right now is because when they shuttled me home today from the shop, the first thing I did was look up the number to the convent. I’ve had a bad feeling, and I hate to say it, but I was right. Sister Ruth keeps slipping in and out of consciousness. For goodness’ sake, the woman has to be nearly a hundred and twenty years old by now!”
Her eyes locked with mine. “We have to find a way to get you there soon. I’ll contact every paper and magazine I know and beg for extra work. If it’s not this summer, then you may have to miss a little school in the fall.”
“I’ll see if I can get more hours at the ice-cream shop, too. We’ll make it work. We’ll get there in time.”
And if we didn’t? What would happen if Sister Ruth took the information about me to the grave?
“You know,” I said, realizing something, “we could contact my father and ask for money.”
“No.” Patti’s face went rigid for a second. “We’ll find a way.” She leaned her head to me and whispered, “Do you trust this boy?”
“I trust that he’s probably listening to this conversation right now.”
“Surely he’s capable of being a gentleman and wouldn’t do such a thing,” she said with false sweetness. I knew she was saying it to him, not me. I wondered how Kaidan would fare against a mother’s guilt trip.
“I still don’t know him very well, but my gut and my heart tell me to trust him.”
“That’s good. Your gut and heart are very accurate. He’s awfully good-looking, though. That can sometimes muddle things.” She kept a straight face.
I shrugged. “He’s good-looking, I guess. I know I have to be careful.”
She seemed satisfied that I didn’t swoon when I spoke of him. “Well, let’s not leave him out there forever.”
When we returned to the living room he was standing, looking at the wall of photos. I had never once in all my life had cause to feel embarrassed about the cozy place I called home. But as I looked at it then, after being in Kaidan’s pristine and luxurious house, everything seemed old and quaint. Patti’s artsy black-and-white pictures depicting my childhood that lined the walls were humiliating. He pointed and smirked at the photo of me at age six, where I was missing my front teeth.
I lifted my eyes skyward and sat on the couch. Patti went into the kitchen and took down some glasses.
“Are you sure I can’t get you something to drink? We have sweet tea, and...” She shuffled around in the fridge. “Well, that’s it besides water.”
“Tea would be nice, thank you,” Kaidan answered.
I was pleased he’d taken her up on the offer. Patti got miffed when people turned down her hospitality.
Kaidan carefully sat down next to me on the tattered old couch. I remembered him splayed out on the fancy sofa at his house with his boots up, and I found it ironic that he would show our dingy thing more respect.
Patti gave us our drinks and he took a big swig, smiling politely.
“Thank you. I never had cold tea until I came to America.”
“Really?” Patti asked. “Yes, I noticed your accent. England?”
“Mostly, yes.” He took another drink. “I don’t mean to pry, but I heard you mention that the car troubles are interfering with a trip you planned?”
“We are saving for a trip to California,” Patti said. Her guard was up. He probably couldn’t tell, but I could. She always crossed her legs and sat back when she was comfortable. At this moment she sat up straight and spoke more formally than usual.
“So I can meet my father,” I added.
His eyes widened with interest.
“I love road trips. Why don’t you let me take you both?”
He could not have surprised me more if he had smacked my face. Patti and I looked at each other in disbelief.
“I’ve made more money with the band than I know what to do with, honestly. And I have a vehicle. Or we could fly and rent a car if you prefer. My expense.”
“That’s a very generous offer.” Patti chose her words with care. “But why would you want to do that?”
The sea green and gray swirl of emotions Patti gave off were the same ones I felt: grateful, surprised, nervous, skeptical. I wished Kaidan couldn’t read us.
“I...”
Seeing Kaidan at a loss for words, I felt kind of bad for him. He was a smooth talker, but I knew what it was like to be under Patti’s keen eye. She wasn’t impressed by charm or wit. She was impressed only by genuine honesty. I hoped he could sense that.
“I don’t know,” he finally said, puffing out the answer as if it were the last thing in the world he wanted to admit. “I wouldn’t normally offer to help someone.”
“Unless there’s something in it for you?” Patti’s question was not laced with sarcasm or judgment, but I opened my mouth, prepared to defuse the situation. I stopped when I saw the two of them having an intense, silent conversation with their eyes.
“Yes.” It was blunt honesty from Kaidan, tinged with something else. Surprise?
“I can’t leave right now,” said Patti. “I have the jubilee parades and the state fair to cover. If I turn down work, they won’t keep offering.” She stood up, walking to the sliding glass door and staring out of it with her hands on her hips. I could tell she was contemplating something by the way her toe quickly tapped the trodden carpet. “Maybe the two of you should go right away.”
What? She was serious! Kaidan sat there like a portrait of innocence, but I knew how he was capable of behaving. I decided then that whatever his true motives were, it didn’t matter. I trusted myself.
“I know it’s a strange offer.” Kaidan spoke to Patti. “I’ll admit it; I’m intrigued by Anna.” It was the same word I’d used to describe my feelings for him to Jay, and it warmed me all over. “I know other Nephilim, but Anna is... different.”
“She is different,” said Patti. “It’s important for her to go as soon as possible, or I’d never consider this. She has to be kept safe. I don’t want her around your father or anyone else like him.”
“I don’t want her around my father either.” He said it with sincerity. He was really on a roll with the whole honesty thing, and Patti was eating it up.
“How old are you?” she asked him.
“I’m seventeen.”
“Don’t you have to be eighteen to rent hotel rooms?” After she asked it she shut her eyes, as if the thought of the two of us in a hotel room gave her a headache. Kaidan pushed forward.
“I’m emancipated as a legal adult, since my father travels so often. I have the paperwork. But we don’t have to share a room.”
Patti paced.
“It still doesn’t feel right,” she said. “And letting you pay for it—”
“I don’t mind. I swear,” said Kaidan. “You won’t be in my debt.”
“You’re just kids, though. You have no way to protect yourselves.”
“Well, I do have some means to protect us,” Kaidan said. “Besides our senses, I mean.”
She stopped and stared him down. “What do you mean? Not a gun, I hope.”
“No, but I’m pretty good with a knife.”
I got a chill at the memory.
Patti crossed her arms. “Really?” she challenged. “Care to demonstrate?”
Oh, boy. What in the world did she have in mind? I myself would not care for another demonstration.
Kaidan stood up and plucked a grape from the bunch on the counter. He handed the grape to Patti and then came back and sat on the other end of the couch from me.
“Just toss the grape across the room to Anna,” Kaidan said, placing his hand near his pocket.
It happened so fast. The moment Patti’s arm moved, Kaidan had the knife pulled out and opened. I saw the grape coming and opened my hands, but midair there was a whizzing sound and a thump. Patti and I both jumped with surprise. Then we turned our heads and stared at the wall, where the grape was impaled on the end of the silve
r blade.
“How did you do that?” Patti asked, impressed.
“When I focus with my senses, everything seems to slow down, while my reflexes speed up.”
He stood and removed the knife from the wall, catching the sliced grape in his hand.
“I can fix this up for you,” he said, brushing his fingers over the mark in the wall.
“No, no. I’ll take care of it.” Patti stood and took the grape from him, throwing it away.
“Don’t go anywhere, okay? I need to think. Just give me a moment.”
“’Kay,” I said. She went back to her room and shut the door. Kaidan sat next to me again.
“Why are you really doing this?” I asked him.
“For the exact reasons I said.” He sounded incredulous that I asked.
I began chewing my nails. Kaidan’s offer hadn’t been to take only me—he said he would take us both. That seemed significant. My mixed feelings toward him were clouding my judgment. But Patti was a good judge of character. Her decision would prove to me once and for all whether I should trust Kaidan. If she said no, I would know there was something untrustworthy about him. I sucked on the side of my pinkie finger, where I’d made myself bleed.
“You’re nervous,” he said.
“Mm-hm.”
“You’re nervous a lot,” he pointed out.
“Yep. Anxiety. All my life.”
“I see. Are you nervous she’ll say yes or no?”
I paused. “Both.”
He nodded once, as if that made perfect sense.
“What’s a badge?” I asked. “Your father said mine was unusual.”
Kaidan pointed to the red starburst on his chest. “Yours is not a solid color like everyone else’s. It’s amber, like the color of beer, but it has a swirl of white through it.”
“Great,” I whispered, renewing my nail chewing. I couldn’t believe I had one of those things, too. And of course mine would have to be weird. I couldn’t see it in the mirror; much like aura colors, the badges didn’t reflect.
Patti came back out after ten minutes and sat across from us in the recliner.
“Would you prefer to speak in private again?” Kaidan asked.
“That’d probably be best.” Patti motioned him toward the balcony. “Do you mind?”