My eyes fill with tears again, and all the wine I drank starts churning in my head and my stomach, making the room spin. I sway a little on my feet.
“Are you okay?” he asks softly, quickly closing the distance between us.
Just like always, his voice sends tingles up my spine, but his words annoy me.
“Uuuughhh, stop asking me that. I’m fine. I’m just great. It was awesome showing up here and seeing why you’ve been ignoring me. Just awesome. I’ll show myself out now.”
I take a step back from him, trying to get my thoughts in order and remember what it was I wanted to tell him, but my feet tangle together and I almost go down again until PJ swoops in and grabs me.
The foyer spins, but not because of wine this time. It’s because PJ bends down, slides his arm behind my knees, and easily scoops me up into his arms, turning as he does and heading for the stairs.
“I didn’t invite her over here and nothing happened, I swear on my life. She showed up, like I said, right before you got here, and I was in the middle of telling her she needed to leave when you rang the doorbell.”
I can hear the sincerity in his words, and it feels so good being in his arms again that I let the wine take over and make all my decisions for me. He makes me feel so safe and cared for that I instantly relax, wrapping my arms around his neck and resting my head on his shoulder. I don’t realize I must have dozed off for a few seconds until I feel myself being lowered to a bed.
My eyes blink open and I see PJ hovering over me, using the tips of his fingers to brush the hair off of my face. He looks so sad, leaning over me and gently touching my face. Why is he sad? I’m here. I closed the distance. If he wouldn’t mind giving me some assistance, I’ll gladly take off my clothes and reduce the space between us even more.
In my head, I picture myself sitting up and taking my clothes off, but in reality, I just snuggle deeper into the mountain of pillows he laid me on. It’s so soft and fluffy.
I feel him pull the blankets up over me, and when the bed dips, my eyes fly open to find him moving away from me. I quickly shoot my hand out and grab his arm.
“Stay. Don’t leave,” I whisper.
That sad look is back on his face, and I just don’t get it. There’s nothing to be sad about. I’m gonna take off my clothes and we’re gonna have sex, and everything will be back to normal.
While his palms still rest on the mattress next to me as he leans over the bed, I try really hard to keep my eyes open and remember what I’m supposed to say to him, but he’s so sad and pretty, I just want to kiss him and make it all better.
“I can’t come between a family, Cin. I might not be the most honorable, decent guy sometimes, but there’s no way I can do that,” he says softly.
His words get all scrambled in my head, and I don’t even hear half of what he says. I just know I need to say something.
“Don’t you dare change for him. You stay the same sexy, independent, amazing woman you are, do you hear me?” he asks quietly.
“Yeah, that sounds nice,” I mutter, having no clue what he said to me but it sure sounded soft and nice.
I should probably say more, but this bed is so comfy. I close my eyes and wait for him to get in beside me and pull me into his arms, but he never does.
Chapter 31: They’re Called Tits, Brian
“I feel like I’m going to throw up. Why did I let you talk me into coming to this thing again?” I ask Ariel as I pull our tickets out of my small, light-blue clutch and hand them to the man at the door.
The local Animal Protective League throws a huge fund-raiser every year, and I’ve gone to this thing every year since Brian and I got married, because this charity is very near and dear to my heart. I completely forgot about it until the tickets showed up in the mail yesterday morning.
It’s been five days since I woke up hungover and alone in PJ’s bed, with him nowhere in sight. This was after I found another woman in his home. A woman he swore he didn’t invite over and that nothing happened with her. I believed him. Of course I believed him, and not because I’m an idiot. I believed him because I could see the conviction in his eyes. I think at this point, I’ve reached master level for spotting a liar and a cheater. I have thirteen years of research under my belt. Thirteen years of a man not making eye contact with me when I asked him where he was the night before. Thirteen years of him pulling at the collar of his shirt, stumbling over his words, and reacting defensively when I asked him why he smelled like another woman’s perfume. Even though I can’t remember everything that happened that night at PJ’s, I remember the way his eyes never left mine. His unblinking eyes that stayed glued to mine even while Melissa was huffing and puffing and stomping around.
We always ordered four tickets to this event and went with another couple, and I had been tempted to call PJ and ask him to come with me, but I was still too embarrassed by what I may or may not have done at his house, since I haven’t heard from him since then. Instead, I called in reinforcements in the form of Ariel and Belle. I thought we would just meet at the event, since Belle said she had something to take care of at the library and it would be out of the way for us to pick her up there. But Ariel wouldn’t hear of it. She put her foot down and told me she was riding with me and giving me whatever support I needed, and we’d hold a seat at our table for Belle.
“You’re not going to throw up. You did your first walk of shame, you should be proud,” she tells me as we enter into the ballroom of the hotel.
“It wasn’t a walk of shame. I didn’t do anything shameful the other night.”
At least, not that I can remember. I’m pretty sure we didn’t have sex, and over the last five days, bits and pieces of what happened that night come flashing back, making me want to cringe with how embarrassingly I behaved. I threatened to fight Melissa. And while it was certainly justified, nothing good would have come of it if she actually had actually taken me up on it.
“Not saying what you went over there to say and passing out in his bed is pretty shameful,” Ariel says as we move through the crowds of people, looking for our table. “At least you look hot when you finally face the former in-laws again.”
I groan, remembering why I let Ariel talk me into coming to this dinner tonight. Brian sent me a text yesterday asking me if we could talk again, and since I knew his family would never miss this event, I felt like this would be the safest place to talk to him—in a roomful of people wearing fancy dresses and tuxedos, I wouldn’t be tempted to scream and curse at him.
In the past, I’ve always worn a very conservative dress to these events, something designer and ridiculously expensive that was typically long-sleeved and classy, covering everything up. I’d spend the day at the salon, having my makeup professionally done and my hair pulled back into a neat French twist.
Tonight, I needed to feel good about myself. I needed to feel sexy and confident. When Ariel brought over a pale-blue sequined, strapless dress, I knew immediately I needed to wear it tonight. My cleavage is pushed up and out with the help of an amazing strapless push-up bra, the dress clings to my curves, and it’s so short I probably won’t be able to sit down without flashing everyone in the room. I left my hair down in long, loose waves, and my legs look amazing in the matching pale-blue, sparkly heels I have on. And instead of the fancy, expensive jewelry that I usually wear—which I can’t wear anyway, since I sold it all to pay bills—I wrapped the black velvet choker from my sexy Cinderella costume around my neck. I needed something to remind me who I am now: an independent, sexy woman who took charge of her life and pulled herself out of hell.
I look good. No, I look better than good. I just wished I felt the same.
When we finally make it to our table, I let out a low groan when I see Vincent standing next to it, chatting with a few people. I’d hoped to have a little more time to gather up some courage before running into him, but I guess that’s not going to be an option. As soon as I set my clutch on the table, Vincent turns and sees me
.
“You are a hot, sexy bitch. Stay strong,” Ariel whispers in my ear as my ex-father-in-law makes his way over to us and greets me with a smile.
“Cynthia, it’s nice to see you here tonight. You’re looking . . . lovely,” he says, unable to hide the wince on his face when he looks at my dress. “I’d just like to apologize for all of that confusion about the money. Brian explained what happened, and we’re just so thankful to have our boy home after the horrors he went through. Obviously it was just a silly misunderstanding. You understand how it is.”
He chuckles softly and continues smiling at me, and the stupid, condescending look on his face is all it takes for me to forget about being in a room full of classy people and attempting to be classy myself. Everything that has happened in the last few months overwhelms me until I feel like I can’t breathe. Falling in love with PJ, Brian showing back up, Anastasia locking herself in her room, PJ wanting nothing to do with me, showing up at his house to find another woman there, even if he swore nothing happened . . . all of those things feel like heavy bricks, just piling themselves one right after another on my chest until I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take Vincent’s stupid, smiling face, or his half-assed apology, or the way he looked at me in this dress like I’m low class.
“Actually, Vincent, I don’t understand, and I don’t accept your apology.” I speak in a low voice, watching the smile fall from his face as I say everything to him I didn’t have the nerve to say when he showed up at my house. “You were like a father to me. You accused me of stealing from you. Your granddaughter and I struggled for months, and where the hell were you?!”
He takes a step toward me, glancing over his shoulder and smiling nervously at the handful of people still standing around our table, watching everything happen.
“Keep your voice down. This is neither the time nor the place for such ridiculous behavior,” he whispers angrily as Claudia, my former mother-in-law, walks up to stand next to him.
“Vincent, is everything okay here?” she asks, giving me and my dress the same look her husband did.
“Everything’s just peachy, Claudia. I was just getting ready to tell your husband to GO FUCK HIMSELF!” I shout, getting a thrill out of watching both of their faces blanch. “Do you want to know what’s ridiculous, Vincent? Not helping me when I needed it. Not calling to even check on your own granddaughter all these months. You can take your own ridiculous behavior and shove it up your ass!”
I start to turn away but remember one last thing.
“Oh, and Claudia? You might want to keep a tighter leash on your husband. He likes to go to strip clubs and get lap dances after you’ve gone to sleep at night,” I tell her with a sweet smile before turning to look at Vincent. “And by the way, that blonde with the nice ass a few months ago at Charming’s? That was me. Have a lovely fucking evening, you judgmental assholes.”
Letting out a huff of air, I finally turn and walk away, with Ariel right on my heels.
“Holy shit, I think you just made both of their heads explode. That was incredible. Where are we going?” she asks as I shove and push my way through the crowds of people to get to the other side of the room.
“To the bar. I need a fucking drink,” I mutter.
As soon as we make it to the bar, Ariel snatches two flutes of champagne and quickly hands one to me. I bring it up to my mouth and tip it back, chugging down half of it.
“That’s good, that’s good. I feel great. Do you feel great?” I ask Ariel, my blood pumping at an alarming rate with all the adrenaline coursing through my body from telling my former in-laws off.
“I’ll feel much better if you keep that momentum going in about five seconds. Incoming,” she mutters, looking behind me over my shoulder.
I start to ask her what she’s talking about when Brian walks up behind me.
“Cynthia, I’m so glad you came. You look . . .”
He pauses when I turn around to face him.
“That dress is . . . very revealing,” he informs me.
“They’re called tits, Brian. All women have them,” I deadpan, my eyes narrowing as I get my first good look at his face in over nine months.
He was wearing sunglasses when he showed up at the house a few weeks ago, and I’ve only spoken to him via text or short, clipped phone calls since then.
“What the hell is wrong with your eyes?” I ask in disgust, noticing the red splotches on the skin around them, swollen and puffy eyelids, and some kind of disgusting gunk pooling in the corner of each of them.
“It’s fine. It’s just a little infection. You know, from the kidnapping. Doctor says it should be cleared up soon,” he tells me as his cheeks redden in embarrassment. “I just—”
Ariel steps out from behind me, making him choke on his words. His nasty eyes widen in shock.
While he coughs and sputters and smacks his fist against his chest, I smile at Ariel, then look back at Brian while he gets himself under control.
“Brian, let me introduce you to . . . oh, wait. You already know who this is, since you fucked her behind my back,” I tell him with a sweet smile.
“Worst lay of my life,” Ariel mutters, holding up her pinky finger and wiggling it. “How’s it hanging, Tiny Dick?”
I hold my champagne flute out to the side and Ariel clinks hers against it, and we both take a sip.
“I don’t . . . I’m . . . I thought we could go somewhere quiet and talk,” he mumbles, stuttering over his words, his mind probably on the verge of exploding seeing Ariel and I together, knowing that one of his dirty little secrets didn’t stay a secret for very long.
“Holy shit, your eyes look disgusting,” Ariel tells him.
“It’s just a simple eye infection!” Brian shouts, quickly clamping his mouth closed as he looks around nervously at the people standing by the bar, hanging on our every word.
“Hi, guys, what did I miss?” Belle asks, coming up to us. I take a minute to appreciate her beautiful, light-yellow gown, which is very conservative and something I would have worn a year ago.
I introduce her to Brian. “Belle, this is the douchebag. Douchebag, this is Belle.”
She smiles politely at him, holding out her hand and then quickly snatching it back when she sees his face.
“That’s chlamydia. Oh my God, you have eye chlamydia! See, I told you it wasn’t an urban legend!” Belle says excitedly, pointing at Brian’s eyes.
Ariel and I narrow our eyes and crane our necks, looking closer at Brian’s eyes as he tries to shield them with his hands.
“Holy shit, you’re right. That’s totally eye chlamydia. You’re the guy who let a stripper piss on his face in Thailand!” Ariel shouts excitedly.
“Will you please keep your voice down!” Brian whispers loudly, still looking around nervously at all the people who have now gathered around us. “I was in Mexico being held against my will, remember?”
He clears his throat uneasily a few times.
“Please, can we go somewhere private and talk?” he begs.
He reaches for my arm, and I yank it away.
“Whatever you have to say to me, you can do it right here. I’m not going anywhere with you,” I tell him.
He lets out an annoyed breath, nervously fiddling with the bow tie on his tuxedo. I used to think it was adorable that he insisted on wearing a bow tie and cummerbund to all of the events we went to, but now he just looks like an idiot. Like a thirty-six-year-old man-child who went through a midlife crisis and screwed over his own family.
“Can I help you?” Brian asks in irritation, looking over at Ariel and Belle, who still stand right next to me, staring at us.
“Oh, no. I’m good. Carry on,” Ariel tells him with a smile, taking another sip of her champagne.
“I’m good too. This is fascinating,” Belle adds.
Brian rolls his eyes and takes a step closer to me, lowering his voice.
“Look, I don’t want to fight. I just want a chance to talk to you more, b
ut you’ve been very short with me on the phone and have refused to meet with me,” he pleads.
“You have thirty seconds.”
“Cynthia,” he complains.
“I gave you thirteen years and you walked out, leaving me with nothing while also making me lie to people about where you were and what you did. You’re lucky I’m even giving you that right now. Speak. And make it quick.”
He purses his lips and huffs in annoyance while I hand my champagne glass off to Ariel, cross my arms in front of me, and look pointedly look down at the silver watch on my wrist.
“Twenty seconds,” I remind him, tapping my toe against the marble floor.
“Fine. I just want to apologize again and make sure you know I’m serious. I’m sorry about everything. I made a mistake, but I’m here now, and that’s all that matters.”
A small giggle bubbles up from my throat, and it quickly turns into full-blown hilarity as I toss my head back and laugh. I laugh so hard that tears pool in my eyes, and I swipe them away as my laughter dies with a little snort. I cock my head to the side as I stare at the dumbass in front of me.
“Which mistake are you referring to exactly? Screwing our neighbor, lying to her and giving her some sob story about how you were brokenhearted and we were separated, and taking advantage of her? Fucking our babysitter? Running away with said babysitter to another country? Stealing money from your parents and letting me take the blame? Ignoring your daughter? Leaving us with nothing until I had to sell everything out from under me just to pay the mortgage? Tell me, Brian. Which mistake are you sorry for?”
He opens and closes his mouth several times, trying to come up with something to say. I’m tired of waiting and tired of his bullshit. I start walking away when he finally decides to speak again.
“Will you please keep your voice down? My parents might hear you! I’m sorry for everything, okay? I was a fool. I never should have left you. But it’s going to be fine, I’m going to fix everything,” he tells me as I keep walking and he follows behind me. “My father already fixed that mess with the man at that club, so that’s one less problem to worry about.”