“I’ve tried. But she thinks they need her. The whole family was pretty upset after her mother died, and Holly ended up filling her mom’s role. Now they all expect it of her.”
Will leaned back in his chair. “Do you like this girl?”
Did he like her? Uh, yeah. In fact, he couldn’t remember ever liking another female more than he liked Holly. She was quirky and funny and unbelievably good in bed. And way too caring and generous for her own good.
“Of course I like her,” he answered.
“Then tell her. And keep telling her. Sooner or later she’ll have to see that the two of you could have more than a silly fling.”
But would she? Carson had the most unsettling feeling that it wouldn’t matter how many times he told her how great she was, or how many ways he tried to show her he was serious about her. With Holly, responsibility always came first. To her job, her family, her school.
So that meant he had to find a way around it. Because he was sick of being Holly Lawson’s boy toy. He wanted to be her boyfriend.
Now he just had to convince her to let him.
“Want a slice of pizza?” Carson asked after he’d gotten rid of the condom, leaving her in a hot, sweaty mess on the living room carpet.
Holly forced her head up to shoot him an amazed look. How was he even able to stand up? Her own legs were so shaky she knew she’d keel right over if she tried putting her weight on them. She was nowhere close to Carson’s level of recovery.
“Sex makes me hungry,” he said with an endearing shrug.
She managed to move up into a sitting position, watching as Carson flipped open the pizza box, grabbed a slice and sank down on the couch. Naked. The sight of that gloriously nude body stole the breath right out of her lungs. She’d never seen a man in such incredible shape before. Carson’s chest was solid and unyielding, defined pecs and rippled six-pack and smooth sleek sinew. A dusting of blond hair covered his chest and legs, but it was just the right amount. Not too hairy, and not pretty-boy smooth. He was masculine and beautiful and so appealing, her mouth watered like one of Pavlov’s dogs.
He cast her a grin when he noticed her staring, then gestured to the cushion next to his. “Sit and eat.”
Somehow she managed to force her legs to carry her from the floor to the couch. She grabbed a slice of pizza, but she wasn’t all that hungry, she just wanted to hold something in her hands so she wouldn’t be tempted to grab Carson. Boy, was she tempted. The aftereffects of her orgasm still pulsated through her body, tingling her nipples, tickling her thighs. She’d never experienced anything like this. The primitive, animal lust and raw pleasure and intense flood of heat.
It had been like this for an entire week. She couldn’t keep her hands off this man, and if it weren’t for work and school, she would be content being with him from morning ’til night and doing nothing but having really amazing sex.
Knowing Carson, he’d be totally up for the idea. He’d spent every night at her place for the past week, and he didn’t seem at all bored with her yet. Which was odd, since she really wasn’t the most exciting person on the planet. When she was at her apartment—and not rescuing her siblings from themselves—she usually spent her time cooking or watching TV. Not exactly anything to write home about.
Yet Carson seemed perfectly at ease doing nothing with her. Tonight he’d even brought over a couple of DVDs, all action flicks. They’d watched one before taking a break to have sex on the living room floor, and he’d spent the entire movie scrutinizing the fake military troop and telling Holly all the reasons why they wouldn’t have been able to blow up the village using the equipment they had. His commentary had reminded her of what he did for a living, that his job was a dangerous one, but it still didn’t seem real to her, especially since he seemed to spend most of his time waiting to be paged.
“Aren’t you bored not blowing up things or traipsing through the jungle?” she found herself asking, setting her pizza slice back in the box.
Next to her, Carson chewed slowly then tossed her a thoughtful look. “Yes and no. The team hasn’t been called to duty in more than a month, and I’m definitely ready for another assignment. But I’m also enjoying spending time with you, so I’m not complaining about the lull in the SEAL world.”
“We’re not spending time together,” she reminded him. “We’re sleeping together.”
As if her reminder had stolen his appetite, he dropped his half-eaten slice. “Right,” he said, sounding a bit sarcastic.
“It’s a fling, Carson,” she said firmly.
“Not anymore it isn’t.” He raked his fingers through his blond hair. “We’ve spent a week together, Hol. We’ve cuddled and watched movies and made each other laugh. That’s more than a fling, in my opinion.”
She pressed her lips together, trying to think of a response. He was right—they had done a lot of couple-ish things this week. But they’d had a ridiculous amount of sex, too, so she’d figured that canceled out the couple stuff. Not that she hadn’t enjoyed the non-sex parts. She did enjoy it. She was just…
Scared, a little voice filled in.
Holly quickly forced away the thought. No, she wasn’t scared. She couldn’t be. So what if Steve had dumped her and told her he wanted someone more wild and exciting? That wasn’t the reason she didn’t want a relationship. She was simply too busy for one.
Liar. You’re scared.
The voice was beginning to annoy her. In fact, this whole conversation with Carson was beginning to annoy her. Why couldn’t he stop pushing her and just have fun? The two of them had become pretty skilled at fun.
Obviously it was time to remind him of that.
Before he could open his mouth to continue speaking, she slid closer and wrapped her fingers around his shaft. It instantly hardened against her palm.
“Oh no you don’t,” he grumbled, reaching for her hand. “You’re not going to distract me again. We’re having this conversation whether you like it or—Jesus,” he groaned as she bent down and took his tip into her mouth.
Kissing the broad head, she trailed her tongue along his sensitive underside, nibbling gently on the velvety smooth flesh.
“Damn it, Holly. You’re not allowed to…” His voice trailed off the moment she sucked him.
There was nothing more arousing than bringing Carson to climax. She’d done it frequently this week, and she knew exactly what he liked now. Curling her fingers around his base, she pumped and sucked his shaft, swirling her tongue over his tip on each upstroke. His husky moans and the way he lifted his hips to thrust deeper into her mouth told her she’d succeeded in distracting him again.
His cock throbbed against her tongue, his hands tangled in her hair, signaling he was close. “Can I come in your mouth?” he rasped.
She nodded, chuckling against his hard male flesh. He asked her that every time she did this, but she didn’t mind. She liked that he cared enough to ask.
With a ragged groan, he let himself go. Holly swallowed every drop, gently kneading his balls as he shuddered with release. When she looked up, she saw his blue eyes were glazed, swimming with sated desire.
“You’re evil,” he squeezed out, falling back against the sofa cushions and pulling her naked body on top of his. “You’ve got to stop doing that.”
She blinked innocently. “I thought you liked my blowjobs.”
“I love your blowjobs, sweetheart, and you know it. But you can’t keep avoiding—” Before he could finish, the cordless phone on the coffee table began to ring.
Carson sat up with irritation then shot her a warning look. “Don’t even think about it, Holly.”
She got off his lap and started to reach for the phone. “I can’t not answer. What if it’s someone in my family? Or work?”
“That’s exactly why you shouldn’t answer it,” he muttered.
Ignoring him, she clicked the talk button and pressed the phone to her ear. “Hello?”
“Holly, I have an emergency,” came h
er sister Caroline’s desperate voice.
A lump of resentment lodged in her throat. “What is it, Caroline?”
Her sister didn’t get a chance to explain, because Carson had grabbed the phone from Holly’s hands. She let out a yelp of protest, but he was already speaking into the mouthpiece.
“Caroline?” he said, swatting Holly’s hands away as she tried to swipe the phone back. “I’m Carson…Holly’s boyfriend.”
“What are you doing?” she hissed.
He paused. “I know she didn’t mention it. It’s still fairly new…uh-huh….yep. So, what seems to be the problem, Caroline?”
Holly swallowed back her anger as she watched Carson listen to her sister’s response. How dare he? He had no right acting like a jerk and taking the phone from her like this.
“Really?” He nodded to himself. “Well, here’s what you’re going to do, sweetheart. You’re going to knock on your super’s door and ask him to let him into your apartment.” He paused again. “No, Holly doesn’t need to be there for that. She’s very busy right now.”
Holly fumed at him, crossing her arms over her chest to cover her bare breasts.
“Well, tomorrow morning you can take a cab over here and get the spare keys you gave to Holly, and make copies of them. Your original set might turn up…” He sighed. “Then change the locks if you think someone might find them, figure out your address and let themselves into your apartment. How? A locksmith can do that for you.” He shook his head again. “No, Holly cannot change your locks for you. You can’t expect her to do everything for you, sweetheart… Hey, you know what, Caroline? I’ve got to go. Holly and I are about to watch a movie. Call back when you’ve gotten into your apartment, okay?” Without saying goodbye, he hung up.
On her sister!
Holly watched as he nonchalantly placed the phone on the coffee table and turned to look at her. “Ready to watch the rest of that movie?” he asked pleasantly.
She didn’t answer. Fury bubbled in her stomach. “Why did you do that?” she demanded.
He shrugged. “Because I’m sick of watching your sexy ass slide through the front door every time one of them calls you up for help.”
“This isn’t your family, Carson. It’s mine. And what I choose to do for them isn’t your concern.”
He blew out a frustrated breath. “She lost her apartment key, for God’s sake. It’s not the end of the world! And what I told her to do is what you wouldn’t have told her if you’d taken that call. You’d have hopped in your car and taken care of everything for her.”
“So?” she said defensively.
“So, it’s not your freaking job, sweetheart.” He looked exasperated. “Caroline is five years older—she should be taking care of you, not the other way around. She takes advantage of you. They all do.”
Discomfort filled her body. Although a part of her knew he was right—the part that had been feeling the same way for two years now—she still couldn’t let go of her anger. So what if her family took advantage of her? They were still her family. Not his. And trying to stop her from taking care of them was presumptuous and selfish of him. This was Steve all over again, making demands on her, telling her to forget about everyone and everything else in her life and just focus on him. Well, she couldn’t do that.
“You shouldn’t have interfered,” she said coolly.
Carson dragged one hand through his hair, looking frazzled. “I won’t apologize for it. It’s time you quit focusing all your energy on them.”
“And do what, focus it all on you?” she replied.
Before he could answer, she stumbled to her feet, suddenly very aware that they’d been conducting this entire argument while naked. Whirling around, she stomped down the hall to the bedroom, where she threw on some clothing.
“Come on, Holly, don’t be mad,” came his low voice from the doorway. “I was only trying to help.”
“By hanging up on my sister? That was unbelievably selfish of you.” She turned to face him, glad he’d put on his jeans so she couldn’t get distracted by his gorgeous body. “I’m not happy with you right now, Carson. And…” She took a breath. “I want you to leave.”
His blue eyes darkened. “You don’t mean that.”
“Yeah, I do.” She clenched her jaw. “Isn’t that what you wanted? Me being honest with the people in my life? Well, I’m being honest. I’m too pissed off to have this fight right now, so I want you to leave.”
His sexy mouth tightened in a thin line. “Fine. You want me to go, I’ll go.” He turned then shot her a glance over his shoulder. “But this isn’t over, Holly. Maybe I stepped over a line tonight, but I did it for you. You spend so much time worrying about your family that you never have enough time for yourself. I just wanted you to have one night that’s only about you, not them. Because I care about you, and I want…” He let out a slow breath. “I want to be with you, and I know you want to be with me.”
Her heart ached as a sad expression filled his face. “And, baby, we’d both be a lot better off if you’d just admit it.” With that, he slid out the door.
Chapter Five
Okay, so she was an idiot. It only took Holly twenty-four hours to figure it out, though a part of her had known all along she was being foolish by keeping Carson at arm’s length. Ever since the night she’d met him at the Hot Zone, she’d felt more alive, more free, than she had in years. Instead of holding on to that feeling, she’d sent Carson away, and now she felt more trapped than ever.
Then again, was it possible to feel anything other than trapped when she was having dinner with her family?
“Pass the mashed potatoes,” Todd said through a mouthful of sesame chicken Holly had prepared.
She obediently passed him the bowl of potatoes, then glanced around the table at the rest of them. Her father’s dark head was bent as he cut his chicken, her brother Kyle was slathering butter on the rolls Holly had spent the past two hours baking, and Caroline was pushing peas around her plate with her fork, looking distracted.
And had any of them commented on her dinner? Nope. Even though Caroline had called her at the last minute, Holly had run around her kitchen, cooking, packing up everything in Tupperware so she could bring it over to her dad’s house for this unexpected dinner Caroline had planned. Instead of working on the recipes she was creating for her midterms, she’d slaved to make this stupid meal, and none of them had even thanked her for it.
It only made her realize that Carson had been absolutely right when he’d told her they took advantage of her. She’d always known it, but hearing someone else say it had forced her to really look at the situation. And she didn’t like what she saw. Ever since her mom died, she’d done everything for her family. When was the last time any of them had thanked her for it?
“I have my last exam tomorrow,” Todd spoke up, taking a sip of water. “Hol, do you think you could come over to my dorm after dinner tonight and quiz me?”
Her lips automatically formed the word yes but she quickly snapped her mouth closed. No. No. So what if it was Todd’s final exam? She had her evaluation next week, and if she wanted to impress her teacher, she needed to come up with a recipe that would knock the man’s socks off. Wasn’t that more important?
If Carson were here, she knew he’d say yes, it was more important, and a sudden flare of determination lit up inside her.
“I can’t,” she told her brother. “I have my own exam to prepare for.”
Todd looked startled. “You can’t? But it’ll only take a few hours. Please, Holly?”
She was about to firmly reject him again, when her older sister suddenly slammed her hand down on the table, causing the silverware to jingle loudly. Everyone turned to Caroline in surprise, even their dad, who hadn’t said a word during the entire meal.
“Quit bothering Holly,” Caroline said to Todd, her green eyes flashing with anger. “She said no.”
Todd swallowed. “I wasn’t—”
“You were being an a
sshole, expecting her to drop everything to help you study for an exam that for weeks you should have been reviewing for,” Caroline snapped. Her cheeks flushed. “Actually, we were all being assholes to Holly. Even you, Daddy.”
Their father frowned.
“I’m serious,” Caroline insisted, her eyes filling with remorse. “I know we’ve all had a tough couple of years, but yesterday I realized how unfair we’ve been to Holly. We expect her to do everything.”
“Because she’s so good at it,” Kyle offered. His expression grew pained. “You know, the way Mom was.”
“Well, she’s not Mom,” Caroline replied. “And she shouldn’t have to do whatever we ask her to. Did you guys know she has a boyfriend?”
The three males glanced at Holly in surprise. She suddenly felt uncomfortable, not to mention confused. What on earth had gotten into Caroline? For two years her sister hadn’t seemed to have any qualms about asking Holly for every favor imaginable—what the hell had changed?
“That’s right,” her sister said, shaking her head to herself. “She’s got a boyfriend, and none of us even knew about him.”
“Caroline,” Holly began, wanting to tell her that Carson wasn’t exactly her boyfriend.
Her sister silenced her with a sharp look. “No, don’t explain. You have a boyfriend, and you didn’t tell us, but that’s not the issue. The issue is that none of us even cared to ask if you were seeing anyone new. We’re jerks, Holly. We expect you to fix everything in our lives and don’t bother being interested in yours. All we do is make demands. It’s no wonder you got your boyfriend to hang up on me. I deserved it.”
A short silence fell over the table, until Holly’s father finally cleared his throat and shot her a gentle look. “Honey…is it true? Do you think we make too many demands of you?”
Holly swallowed. “Sometimes.”
Her dad looked away, but not before she saw a flash of guilt in his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he said after a moment. “You always seemed so eager to help out, doing all the stuff around the house that your mom used to do…” Sorrow creased his features. “And I was too busy missing your mother to notice how unfair I was being to you.”